


I'll be waiting for you by the Blood Moon

by Chookers38



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, Blood, Canon Temporary Character Death, F/M, Gen, Hurt, don't repost to another site
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:35:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 97,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26128150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chookers38/pseuds/Chookers38
Summary: When the greatest defender of the realms finds itself snuffed out by the darkness, there’s only two paths that remain. You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.
Relationships: Belle/Captain Hook | Killian Jones, Captain Hook | Killian Jones/Emma Swan, Captain Hook | Killian Jones/Henry Mills, Captain Hook | Killian Jones/Prince Charming | David Nolan, Captain Hook | Killian Jones/Snow White | Mary Margaret Blanchard
Comments: 28
Kudos: 55
Collections: Captain Swan Supernatural Summer 2020





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> So here we go! First time I can do a CS fic for a big event, so i'm excited to share it with you and i hope you will jump along and enjoy that season5 canon divergence ish fic!  
> I'll be precising the warning for each chapter but just to be safe already rated M the fic (but not all will be that "M"). Also, if you had read my other stories, i'm a big Killian fan so there won't be as much Emma POV in this fic as in other CS ff but if you do enjoy the story, I have ideas for a chapter full of Emma POV (but it's too spoilery to post it along the story lol).  
> Anyway, big thx to my beta @kmomof4 and artist @eastwesthomeisbest (tumblr) for all their hard and amazing works ♥

_Bloody fucking damnation._

How did they end up in this hell?

In truth, Killian Jones knew exactly how.

If only she hadn't been the _bloody_ Savior. But facts were facts. Emma Swan, the daughter of bloody Prince Charming and Snow White, the love of his life, was a goddamn hero. Not that he would mind that, he does love every single part of her, yet with the darkness set free and threatening to erase all of Storybrooke, it had been Emma who sacrificed her life to save everyone else’s. And part of him hated her for that.

If she hadn’t been the Savior, they wouldn’t be stuck in the middle of the fucking night somewhere in Camelot, trying to avoid getting cursed by the bloody Dark One.

She’d been fooled by the Darkness. They all had. Bloody Merlin was supposed to help them -damn- help _her_ , get rid of the curse, but it was all for naught the moment the bloody Darkness used her love for her family against her, against them all. When Arthur, _the damn shady bastard_ , revealed himself to be working with Zelena, all hell broke loose.

That was how they all stood here in the dark, Regina shouting at them to keep their eyes closed.

* * *

_The task was simple, really._

_Emma needed to get the fire and then reunite the blade that was at one time, whole. An action that would seal the Darkness away, freeing the world from that threat. They already possessed Excalibur and the dagger. It was just a matter of hours before Prometheus’ fire was in Emma’s hand after she succeeded in whatever magic test Merlin had tasked her with. Then he’d finally be reunited with Emma._

_As for lighting the fire, it took a little more effort then they thought it would. However, a divulged secret by Henry along with his own help was all it had taken for her to light the magical artifact._

_“Future isn’t something to be afraid of.”_

_How wrong he was when he told her that._

_It appeared that Arthur knew about the power lying inside the sword: a sword that could cut immortal ties, a wound from it could not be healed. During Killian’s brief but tense fight with the King, he was wounded though it was just a scratch. Unfortunately, Killian didn’t know what had cut him. It could have been his hook...or the cursed blade. The only other person who knew about the wound was Emma. She’d healed it right away. They thought. But it was more than enough for the Darkness to turn the event to its own advantage when the right moment came._

\--

He knew- No, he didn’t know. He _wished_. Wished she was fighting her way out of the Darkness’ claws. Wished that she wasn’t actually the one in command at the moment. Wasn’t the one trying to lure them into a trap, just so she could “keep them safe” as she had said the moment before fully embracing the Darkness despite all the warnings they gave her.

Now they waited. Waited for Em-- the _Dark One_ , to get bored or distracted enough for Regina to magically transport them to safety. But she kept attacking them, the Darkness using all its malice in order to find a breach in their defences. In order to enact its evil plan.

Killian’s guts twisted at the thought. He knew, sooner or later, his determination to ignore the part of himself that was telling his heart to fight for Emma would waver. Killian Jones wasn’t engaging in a single fight like the rest of the group. He had to fight not only against her, but also against himself. The truth was, that at this very moment, his love for her made him weak. Made him vulnerable. A circumstance that the Dark One somehow knew and exploited. Her voice had changed in the past few minutes. Her sweet words called to the man who was madly in love with her and only wished to save her from the curse she was carrying all alone. Unfortunately, the man in love wasn’t taking into account the fact that it wasn’t just Emma anymore.

Killian was so focused on trying to control himself that the gasp that fell from her lips surprised him. It sounded too much like _her_. That sound was all it took to tear down his resolve and defences. His eyes cracked open for only a moment, but it was enough. Focusing back on what he was supposed to be doing, Killian bit his lip, closing his eyes harder than needed. He had to concentrate. He had to keep his eyes firmly closed until they were safe. He had to hold himself together. It was just a trick from the darkness. It wasn’t her.

_Killian, please. Help me._

_Emma_. His whole being was screaming her name. He could _feel_ her in front of him, feel her pleading gaze fixed on him. Somehow he knew and felt the difference between the Dark One and the true Emma. It brought a burning question into intense focus: how could he let his Swan down when she was asking, _begging,_ for his help? How could he live with himself if he refused to extend his hand to her so she could come back to him, to them all? He couldn’t. His eyes opened and set on her. She smiled softly at him, her eyes somehow apologizing before her appearance flickered and his Swan disappeared, allowing the true form she now bore to take control again.

Killian realized his mistake when a flash of light blinded him. A torrential rain suddenly poured over him, the weight of it bringing him to his knees. He hissed loudly as his kneecaps made contact with the hard ground, his arms coming around his head, trying desperately to cover and protect it against the assault. The rain felt wrong. It was too cold, too hard, each drop of water feeling like tiny daggers made of hard ice only to leave a burning sensation as it soaked his clothes and ran along his skin. After only a few seconds of this, Killian was nothing more than a screaming mess on the floor under the magical spell that had fallen upon him. He was left howling in pain until he finally fell unconscious as the Dark One disappeared in a cloud of grey smoke, leaving the place to its previous peace, the twinkling stars being the only source of light in the black sky.

* * *

Return to consciousness was slow and terribly painful. Killian could feel the pain throbbing in his head and quickly realized he was feeling the same all over his body. Even breathing had become a grueling task. At some point, his feeble attention was captured by the conversation he could hear from time to time as he wavered in and out of awareness. Staying still, Killian tried to focus enough to understand bits and pieces of the voices surrounding him:

_“How is he?”_

_“...hasn’t moved since we got back.”_

_“Do you think she did something to him? ..."_

_“... Regina tried a few things, but it all came back clean…”_

_“Poor darling... it was so terrifying…”_

_Who would worry that much about him?_ Killian thought. Was it about him in the first place? After all, he was still just a pirate to most of the people he knew. There was no one he could think of that usually worried about his well-being.

_“… I know, Snow, but he’ll be okay.”_

_Snow_. Well the list of male persons possibly calling the lady “Snow” was far from short unless...

_“...He can’t stop saying he’s a survivor to my daughter…He better wake up..."_

Ah, _David_. Well, he’ll show him just how good he is at surviving _and_ taking care of his daughter. To do that, he just needed to find enough strength to move from his state of paralysis. Something that was definitely easier said than done.

_“David!”_

_“What? It’s true!”_

Killian stirred. Prince Charming and the Lady Snow were definitely at his side. He wouldn’t let the prince take pot shots at him any longer even if, deep down, he knew it wasn’t like the mockery the man used to engage in when they first met in Storybrooke and Neverland.

_“Henry? What is it?”_

_“...he’s moving!!”_

_“Bet it’s because he heard me.”_

_“David, now is not the time… Henry, go call Regina!”_

_“… Mom!! It’s Killian!”_

While awkwardly trying to move his extremities, Killian heard the lad descending and then climbing back up the stairs, soon followed by the queen.

_“What is it? Did someone-”_

_“He’s waking up!!”_

_“Took him long enough.”_

With a low moan, Killian finally succeeded in opening his eyes after the Queen’s impatient voice entered the room. His vision was too blurry to see anything, but after blinking away the fog, Killian realized he was lying on a bed that felt somewhat familiar. _The Charming's loft maybe?_ His frown deepened when he realized that's exactly where he was, but he couldn't for the life of him remember how he got there in the first place. The last thing he remembered was-

“What the fuck happened, Hook? What did you do? Did you look at her?” Regina asked, impatiently.

“I- what?”

Now he was completely lost. What was Regina talking about? Nothing was making sense in the fuzziness of his mind. _Gosh,_ _his head was hurting so bad._

“I don’t want a “what,” Jones. I need answers! The most urgent one being: what did Emma do to you in Camelot?”

Killian stared at her, the words sinking into his mind. Emma. Camelot. Killian couldn’t remember going to Camelot with Emma or any of them. The last time he was with Emma, it was…The memory crashed over him so suddenly that it left Killian gasping in shock.

“Emma! She- where is she? Where’s Emma?” Killian asked, panic taking over.

“Well, that’s something I’d like to know as well, Hook!”

“What? No, no you. You, you were with us!” Everything was jostling in Killian’s head, leaving him stammering.

“You’re not making sense,” Regina exclaimed.

“Regina?” Snow asked, worriedly.

“ _What_? In case you didn’t notice, I’m trying to get answers in order to plan our next move.”

“Hey!” David shouted, losing his temper at the queen as she rounded on his wife.

All the shouting was confusing Killian. Why didn’t any of them know where Emma was? He was sure they’d been together the last time he’d seen her in Storybrooke. _Bloody hell, they were all there!_

“Killian. What do you mean?” Snow moved and was now sitting next to him on the bed, her hands resting on his left arm. “What exactly is the last thing you remember of Emma?”

“I-” Killian stuttered, “The last time I saw Emma, it was on the street. We were all together because of the…” Killian stopped his explanation, trying to remember what they were looking for. Every answer his mind gave was disappearing as soon as he tried to catch it.

“Wait, are you talking about the Darkness- thing, Jones?” David finished for him, Killian meeting his gaze with a concerned look before nodding.

“Brilliant! Our only hope is gone,” Regina exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air.

“Regina,” admonished Snow.

“Well, my dear, Snow White,” Regina countered, “I’ll let you take care of the missing pages in the pirate’s memories. I’m off to my place in _hopes_ of finding something actually useful.”

The queen stormed out of the room, the Charmings exchanging a look between themselves and the two other persons present before they followed her, desperately trying to talk her down. Leaving the lad currently staring at his feet, concern plastered all over his face, alone with Killian.

“Ki-Killian?”

Turning toward the boy, Killian locked eyes with him. His heart constricted inside his chest at the worry in the lad’s gaze. A teenager shouldn’t have to feel that way, period. Much less for a pirate like him.

“It’s okay, lad. Don’t worry about me. It will come back soon!” Killian feigned a smile, hoping it would ease Henry’s concerns about his state.

He wasn’t sure exactly what he was missing, but he knew he needed to be strong for the lad with Emma apparently missing. Which definitely didn’t feel right. She wouldn’t just leave the lad alone like that and the others wouldn’t have reacted that way to his lack of memory…

“I… Do you,” Henry stammered, “do you truly not remember where Mom is?”

There was hope in his look, a small hope that Killian would somehow be able to tell him that he did remember, but the truth was that he had no bloody idea. With a sigh, Killian slowly shook his head before attempting to explain the mess that was inside his head at the moment.

“I’m afraid I don’t...remember. It's like everything is in a fog. I, I almost know something but when I go to grab it, it keeps slipping away.” Killian sighed. _Then maybe if..._ “ Perhaps, if you tell me what happened, things would come easier?”

After taking a quick look at the bottom of the stairs, Henry came back, fidgeting with his hands as if weighing his options before taking a deep breath and looking back at Killian.

“Well,” he began, “after the old author freed my grandfather from the Darkness, we all separated and went outside to look for it...That’s, that's when the Darkness tried to take…” here he hesitated, looking at his feet once more “Regina. But then Mom stepped in and she-”

Killian was staring at the lad, holding his breath. Bits of a scene in the street flashed through his head, almost like his memories were coming back. He had the feeling he wasn’t going to like the next part of the story at all.

“She,” he choked out, “she stepped in and sacrificed herself in order to save Mom and then- it, it took her away.”

Tears shone in the lad’s eyes, the pain clearly still present as if it had just happened and Killian couldn’t stop his hand from moving to Henry’s shoulder. Squeezing gently, Killian hoped the lad would welcome the overture. _Bloody hell_ , his Swan had sacrificed herself again and it was so unfair. A whisper of her voice echoed inside his head. _I Love You_. Fury rose within him. It may have been unfair to leave him behind, but how could she have left the boy alone? Well, not truly alone, but still. His heart ached for the lad, as he pushed the rage back down. Frustration wouldn’t do anyone any good at the moment. Henry’s body shivered before he leaned in to the touch, shifting until he could wrap his arms around Killian in a tight side hug.

The gesture took Killian by surprise, but it was quickly replaced by the burning desire to bring Emma back to her son as quickly as possible. It was much more important than bringing her back to himself. Killian circled Henry with both arms, returning the embrace.

“I promise, Henry,” Killian solemnly swore, pushing the lad away so that he could meet his eyes, “I’ll do anything in my power to bring her back to us. To you. Even if I have to give my life for it.”

“Thanks, Killian.”

“We’ll get Emma back, I promise.” Killian waited again for the lad to nod before his thoughts went back to the previous story. “Now, is that why Regina was talking about Camelot?”

“Yeah. Once Mom was taken away by the Darkness, we went to Camelot to seek Merlin’s help. But it didn’t end well…”

“How’s that?” Killian asked, a quaver in his voice, “What happened back there, Henry?”

Emma couldn’t be dead. He would have felt it, he would have known, somehow. But he had no idea what could have gone wrong. Despite remembering those three damn words, his mind was blank. But if legends were true, Merlin was the most powerful wizard there was, so surely he would have helped them save Emma, right?

“Mom is…”

“Emma fully succumbed to the Darkness.” David’s cold voice echoed, both Killian and Henry’s head turning to see the prince entering the room. “She fully embraced the power of the dagger and she trapped us. You’re the last one to have interacted with her.”

The news was like a kick to Killian’s guts. Shaking him to his very soul. She was too strong, too brave, too pure to do such a dark thing. They all fought too hard to allow this to happen! Which was why he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. It _couldn’t_ be true! Yet without his memories, how could he know what was true? Especially with Dave’s assertion that he was the last one to have seen her. The last thing he remembered clearly was her face as she told him she loved him _, bloody hell, this was huge,_ before disappearing in the vortex of the Darkness.

“How long since...” It was all Killian could get out of his suddenly dry mouth.

“It’s been two weeks, Jones.”


	2. Chapter I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And here we go! First chapter is here and with it starts Killian’s quest to learn “what the hell happened in Camelot”!

Getting back into some sort of routine had been... still was, hard work.

_“It’s been two weeks, Jones._ ”

Killian woke up feeling like crap, yet again. A week ago now, he learned it had been two bloody weeks since he was found unconscious in Camelot. Fourteen days, now twenty-one, that Emma was nowhere to be found and under the control of the bloody Darkness. A total of three hundred and sixty hours that were still missing from his memory. Turning again on his bunk, Killian let out a frustrated groan. His body still ached from the lack of movement of the two whole fucking weeks he had remained unconscious. And to think, it only felt like it was yesterday that Emma sacrificed herself.

Once his mind and body agreed on moving, Killian managed to sit up, the gentle rocking of his ship being his only comfort in the early morning. He had wanted nothing more than to go back to his ship, just as soon as the Charmings and Regina agreed to let him go. He was apparently no use to them until he could remember the events on his own. So he decided to go back to the closest and most familiar place he knew. Though he’s now starting to think it wasn’t the best idea. Between several “memory sessions” with Regina here and there throughout the week, trying to get his memories back without any success so far, Killian found himself back on his beloved ship pacing along the planks only to realize that every place on the vessel held a memory of his time with Emma.

Some of them were brief, just a laugh or a picture of her rolling her eyes, while other places held a full dialogue between the two of them, memories full of emotions. All were different, yet it all made one thing abundantly clear: he couldn’t stop thinking of her. She was constantly by his side, only reminding him of what he had lost. And it was starting to drive him mad. Sometimes he wondered how he had managed to keep his sanity during the hundreds of years after Milah’s death. This had only been _days_.

Killian got out of the bunk, quickly dressed and headed to the center of town. David had asked to meet him at Granny’s for a coffee and a proposition and he didn’t want to be late.

Two hours later, Killian walked down the streets back towards his ship after the meeting with David. The sun shone in the clear sky and for once, he felt better as he pondered the prince’s proposal. He could now cut his weeks in two. He would work with Belle at the library for the first half, giving the woman a hand in her research about where Emma could be and how to stop the Darkness and its plan once and for all. The second half of the week he would help David at the station. Though Killian was a bit reticent about working in Emma’s former workplace, as he feared her presence would again plague his days. Before he took his leave of the prince, by chance, Killian met Henry and made arrangements with the boy to take the Jolly out on the water. Spending the weekends with the lad for a few sailing lessons was something he couldn’t wait for.

Thus it was the first thing he decided to do. A great weekend was forecast with plenty of sun and warm temperatures. Killian thought they couldn’t miss this opportunity to go offshore for a quiet afternoon. It turned out to be quite a nice day, Henry smiling from the moment he arrived at the dock to the very last when Regina came to take her son back home. They had talked about the ship, life at sea, and despite the fact that Killian knew Emma’s boy was anything but a boy anymore, he was still surprised to hear that the young man knew so much about such things. For a moment, seeing Henry at the helm, just like his father had been years ago, had filled Killian with pride.

But once he was completely alone aboard the ship that night, the pride he felt earlier left a gaping hole in his heart, making it impossible to sleep. Killian wondered when the pain caused by her disappearance would end. The moon was halfway across the sky, the stars slowly losing their brightness as the sun would surely start to creep into the sky in a matter of hours. Taking another deep breath of the chilled air, Killian tried to close his eyes, his back resting against the main mast. He had tested every area of his old girl but closing his eyes had only led him to flashes of gold hair and emerald eyes staring at him. It wasn’t the sight of Emma that annoyed him. It was the questions that came along with the sight that stopped him from sleeping.

Why did she leave? Why hadn’t he been able to save her from that terrible fate? What if he had done something different, would it have changed her course of action? Why couldn’t he remember a single part of this?

His eyes snapped open and Killian glared at the sky. Why couldn’t he remember any of it? Bloody hell, it was huge. He should be remembering things, Regina should have found something to help him recover them. How could he stay like this, as if there was nothing to be recovered inside his damn brain? But the celestial bodies only mocked him with their twinkling light. With a deep growl, Killian hit the wood of the mast. It wasn’t going to help him sleep but at least it helped soften the anger inside his chest. Going back to his quarters, he took a quick glance at the clock: 5:15. Only three hours left before he would go to Granny’s to pick up a to-go-bag and continue his path straight to the library and start his first day with Belle. Just three hours left to try to rest his eyes and body as much as he could in order to hold himself together until his work was over. All while hoping his brain will shut up.

* * *

_“Killian?”_

_“Hey Killian, wake up.”_

“Crap…” the same voice muttered before Killian felt a hand gently shaking his back. “Earth to Captain Hook. Do you copy?”

Frowning, Killian moved his head, resting his forehead on his forearm. _He just needed a few minutes more..._

“Killian? Is everything okay here?”

Though now that his mind was less foggy, he was able to not only recognize Belle, but also the note of concern in her voice that put an end to his slumber.

“Aye, lass.” he mumbled, yawning before pushing himself up. “You should have woken me earlier, love,” Killian continued, looking for the blue wall clock he knew was somewhere near him, willing his body into full awareness. “I’m not here to sleep.”

“I didn’t want to disturb you. You looked like you had a hell of a night when you got here this morning, sooo...”

Belle looked down, a soft blush covering her dimpled cheeks. Killian knew her well enough to know that she was more than happy to have someone help her, but as her friend, he also knew that she’d be concerned about him and notice his obvious lack of sleep. After all, she understood all too well the kind of pain he was feeling with Emma missing and being the new Dark One. It was something she was intimately acquainted with. He’d shown her his support when Rumple was at his worst, she seemed to want to return the favor.

“Alright. Well, time to go back to work, I guess.” Killian said with a shy smile.

Belle couldn’t suppress the little giggle that escaped her mouth, confusing Killian at the same time.

“What?”

“Well, it’s actually lunch time and seeing how the book you were studying is anchored to your face, I think a break is in order.”

From the way the page had been stuck on his cheek when he lifted his face, Killian was sure if he looked in a mirror he would be able to see some of the letters from the page imprinted on his skin. The thought embarrassed him as he hurried to answer her.

“Alright then. Lead the way, love!”

Killian waved his hand in the direction of the main desk before quickly bringing it to his face in hopes of erasing the said book mark from it.

Lunch at the small restaurant passed in the blink of an eye. Though Granny apparently made it her personal mission to see that he was well nourished. She made sure that he ate everything she served him. The gesture left Killian wondering if it was that easy to see the almost constant tension and anguish in his body, not to mention the lack of sleep he’d had since he had regained consciousness. But he was saved from more thinking as Belle announced it was time to go back to work in hopes of finishing earlier so he could rest. _Seems it’s pretty obvious then_. Killian closed his eyes a moment before following the petite brunette. Well, at least Granny would stop looking at him with those eyes that knew much more than what she was telling.

Now back in the library, Killian took yet another walk between the shelf cases, his eyes glancing on different book titles without really searching for one in particular. They had already gone down each aisle in the place. Any new indication of promising information for the board wouldn’t be found here… Killian shook his head. The board. It was the same cold whiteboard they used when they tried to locate and free the fairies and the apprentice from the bloody magical hat. Killian inhaled deeply at the unpleasant memory. Everything was forgiven, yet his heart would still pang inside his chest every time he thought of the evil he’d done. Yes, it was all because of bloody Rumpelstiltskin, but still. It has been his hand and hook that held the purple hat as its magic absorbed the defenseless fairies, his hands that were holding the poor old man down in his chair. When Killian looked up from the floor, he realized his feet had led him back to the board while he had been lost in his memories.

It was in the same place as before, except this time, the information plastered on it was different. Pictures and sketches of unknown places and mysterious figures were scattered on the surface, information written on the documents used for missing persons. Information that he was supposed to know on his own but was still completely foreign to his memories. And then in the center of the board was a picture of _her_. His fierce lass emanating so much courage and determination from the small picture. Yet it was all softened by the small smile on her face. His hand slowly came up so his fingers could trace the gentle curve of her lips. Then his thumb passed behind the picture and flipped it to reveal the small sketch of the same woman he knew. But it wasn’t the same person anymore. Platinum blonde hair bound at the top of her head in a bun, cold gaze, lips pinched together. Completely expressionless. The more he fixed her more recent look they had managed to sketch in his mind, the more he felt his gut churn. Killian took a step back and looked at the intelligence pinned all over the board: all of this was supposed to help them find her and save her from the curse of the Darkness. But it only built cold anger in his chest, his arms trembling from it. He should be remembering this, he should be at his best to help the rest of her family. He should be strong enough to save her. But he was none of that. And it wasn’t bloody okay. With a growl, Killian brutally threw away the board, his hook tearing apart some of the papers, one of them leaving a small paper cut on his face. As fast as it came, all the anger and frustration disappeared and left him only with the pain in his heart and sheer exhaustion. His eyes burned from the incoming tears and the stinging of the fresh cut, though it was pale compared to the hurt pulsing inside his chest.

“Isn’t that a bit of a déjà-vu Captain?” Belle’s soft voice resounded in the hall as she came up behind him.

His breathing was labored and his jaw and hand clenched and unclenched in frustration and anger, the storm of explosive emotions he just displayed showing in his eyes before recognition of the already played out scene dawned.

“I’m sorry, lass. I...I’m just tired of everything.” His eyes landed on the now ruined board. Belle could see that he was heaping self condemnation on himself, so when he looked back up at her, scratching behind his ear, she made sure that all he would see was her compassion. Even if he thought he didn’t deserve it. “I’ll clean this up. I shouldn’t have-”

“It’s okay, Killian. Even though some might think you have something against that poor board,” Belle tried to lighten the mood, knowing fully that it must be even harder for Killian. Because this time it was Emma that they were looking for, not fairies and an old man. “It’s just a board. It can wait a bit to be put back together.”

“Hmmff, clearly that board doesn’t like me at all…”

His voice sounded better but the sarcasm was present and Belle could only think of one thing to help Killian.

“Yeah...But we will find her Killian.” The pirate turned toward her and she spotted the blood staining his left cheek. “We’ll get Emma back. And I’m sure Regina will also find a way to give you back your memories. I know it must be hard for you, Killian, and I understand why you’re frustrated, but we’ll get there. We’ll find a way to save her. Don’t give up.”

Killian stared at her, his eyes following her hands as she took out a tissue and motioned him to come closer so she could clean his face. She knew how frustrated he was with their work, not to mention all the other negative emotions he was experiencing the rest of the time. But he needed to have faith in their plan. Have faith in his capabilities, his family, and his love for Emma to bring her back.

“All right.” He smiled sheepishly at her. “Thank you, love. I’ll try to remember that next time.”

“I know you will, Killian. Now, seeing that we’re not going anywhere by the end of the day, how about you go rest a bit?”

“Belle, I-”

“You already looked through the library and we’ve searched inside all the books for information. There really isn’t much more we could do for now. Please, take the rest of the afternoon. I’ll call you if I find anything interesting, okay?”

“Love, the board needs to be-”

“Put together, yeah. But I can handle that on my own. Now off you go!”

“Aye, lass,” Killian chuckled at her command, “I’ll do as you said.” He knew better than to try to argue with her. He knew Belle was right and that she would absolutely kick his ass out of the place before she’d let him touch the fallen board.

“Perfect! Then I’ll see you next week, Captain.” Belle cheered internally, happy to have Killian agree with her without much of a fight.

She escorted him to the door before waving goodbye, her gaze lingering on her friend’s back until he was out of sight while she made a note to herself to have a word with David about the situation. The research and board could indeed wait. She was more concerned about Killian and his health. He needed rest more than he needed to persist in unsuccessful research. At least until she could find a solid lead to their Dark One problem.

* * *

The screen in front of him screamed the strange message once again. _ERROR_. No matter how hard he tried, the bloody thing couldn’t be deleted. Losing his patience once more, Killian slammed down his fist on the desk, mumbled curses escaping his lips. He had dreaded having to use one of the magical boxes. When he arrived this morning, David had taken him on patrol but now that it was done and the town was almost eerily calm, the two of them were left to do the paperwork before the next patrol. And of course, with the modern world technology being everywhere, everything was on the cursed things leaving Killian no other choice than to work with the infernal machinery. Only he just couldn’t do it anymore.

“Well, Belle warned me that computers were putting you on edge, but I didn’t think it would be that much!” David chuckled, appearing at Killian’s side, his hands resting on his hips as he looked at the pirate who was obviously struggling.

“Bloody hell, mate! I swear I’m going to _stab_ that bloody magical box of yours with my hook if it doesn’t follow my commands!”

“I- well there’s a better way to make it cooperate with you, Hook. See the tiny red cross here? You just have to click on it and-”

Killian did as he was told and the screen once again gave a strident sound as a new error window popped up. This time the pirate inhaled deeply, his face turning red with anger.

“Ha! Well then, let’s just do…” David trailed away, taking the mouse from Killian’s hand, “this action, so it can…”

The computer decided to fully crash after David’s click. While it was David’s mistake this time, Killian took it for his own and with a growl, unleashed his anger.

“I SWEAR I’M GOING TO THROW THAT DAMN MACHINE OVERBOARD!”

“Wha-No no no no Hook! We’re not-”

Killian stood up unceremoniously, the force of his move almost sending the screen tilting off the desk, before he walked out of the station, smashing the back door open.

“...dealing with the computer like this…” David finished, his eyes glued to the door where Killian had disappeared. “Good job, David,” he muttered to himself. “Damn it! Belle told you about this!”

David moaned as he remembered the call he had with Belle the previous evening. She had told him about Killian’s tense behavior while he was with her at the library; warned him about the mood swings that Killian was exhibiting when frustrated. And thanks to his own error with the computer, he let exactly that happen. David shook his head, cursing himself for being unable to help his friend. _Damn it_. Now he had to pick up the pieces and hope Killian wouldn’t be too angry.

Killian stood outside the door, eyes shut, his hand and hook supporting him as he leaned on the barrier separating the parking lot of the station from the grass. He had been out here for nearly ten minutes and his arms were still shaking. David hadn’t arrived yet to check up on him and that wasn’t like him. _Perhaps you did push it too hard, mate. Even the sheriff can’t cope with your crazy mood_. Killian sighed again, finally opening his eyes to stare at the small green space surrounding the station. He had thought all night about his harsh behavior at the library the day before. He was starting to go off the deep end every time he encountered an obstacle, yet his friends still did their best to help him. _Friends,_ Killian thought, shaking his head. He soon wouldn’t have any if he continued to lose his temper so easily. David had only meant to help him with the abomination; it wasn’t his fault if the thing kept refusing to work under his hand. Yet it had been David who took his wrath in the face, not the object. The door behind Killian opened and the prince came to stand next to him. Killian didn’t wait for him to speak and took his chance to apologize.

“Listen, mate,” he began, “I, I know you’re just helping and I’m behaving completely inappropriately. I apologize for my behavior. It won’t happen again.”

“It’s okay! It’s okay, Jones.” David patted the shoulder of the other man. “ Just... take your time with this stuff and it’ll be all good, ‘kay? And you’re officially free from the _infernal internet monstrosity_.”

Killian chuckled at David’s attempt to imitate his earlier curses toward his new found nemesis. He was also glad to hear David wasn’t even pissed off. And that he wouldn’t have to deal with another box for the rest of his stay at the station.

“Thanks, Dave. For understanding…”

“No problem, mate. Now let’s go back inside so I can show you what you’re going to help me with.”

The job David had found wasn’t the most exciting one but Killian definitely looked more at ease at it and even surprised David with how fast he was progressing (the task was one of the few inside the station that nobody wanted to do and so everyone kept putting it off as much as they could). Thus, Killian took in hand the rearrangement of the files and old papers that needed to be sorted, among other things while David and the other volunteers worked with the computers. With the new task keeping him busy, days suddenly went faster and Killian was more than happy to work more at the station than at the library. Belle didn’t object as there was nothing new to do and she was happier to see Killian occupied all day rather than brooding over his thoughts and his missing memories most of the day like he’d been doing the first week.

Now that he had tasted the peace of mind that his work gave him, Killian was doing everything in his power to avoid going back to the ship -or one of Granny’s rooms he’d tried for a few nights- where he knew his dark thoughts and Emma’s ghost would be waiting for him. Some nights he was able to sleep most of the night, but others, sleep was impossible. It was those nights that Killian didn’t know what to do to distract his mind from the pain of missing Emma and fill the hole in his chest. Every shadow felt like it was about to swallow him up and even his long time friend, the rum, wasn’t saving him.

Generally after those nights, he moved much slower and was more reserved. During those days, his mood would be completely crushed if his eyes spotted anything that could be Emma. A red jacket, a blond ponytail, expressions. The list could go on and Killian felt his heart drum inside his chest each time, getting his hopes up that it would be her, until he got a closer look and his hopes were dashed to the ground. And today, after a particularly rough night, Killian was more focused on pushing back the illusions from the world around him than on the work David had given him. Since the start of the shift, the prince must have asked him ten times if everything was alright and until now, he had been able to give a suitable answer in order to appease him. Unfortunately, the tension and stress inside him was accumulating and while he was doing his best not to jump, he was reacting to every loud sound.

“So Hook what do you say? Granny’s for dinner today?” David finished his question, frowning at Killian’s tensed shoulders when he came closer to the man.

Killian looked up, his heart beating in his ears for a moment. David had surprised him as he hadn’t even registered the start of the conversation. Thinking quickly, Killian nodded and David gave him a quick smile, telling him to get ready. It was only then that Killian realized what the question had been. _Dinner at Granny’s_. It wasn’t something big, they ate there three days ago. But today it sounded like the worst idea he ever agreed to. His brain did the math quickly and Killian swallowed hard. He was about to go to a place where there was a 90% chance he would somehow _see_ Emma and have to handle it in a way that David wouldn’t see and fuss over.

_You screwed up, mate._

Flexing his shoulders in hopes of releasing some tension, Killian stood up from his chair and caught up with the small group as they walked to the restaurant. He tried to rein in his mind in hopes of raising some sort of defensive armor against any attack. He had to face the challenge. He wasn’t a coward and surely he could survive the three-quarters of an hour break with David and the three weekly volunteers like he did last time.

The diner wasn’t crowded, but the smell of fried food and chocolate with cinnamon invaded his nostrils as soon as the door was open. A chill ran down his spine, but Killian somehow managed to shake it off right away. The group took a table in a corner, guaranteeing them enough privacy, much to Killian’s relief. He would be able to manage his stress and building tension, despite the too familiar smells, hopefully without too much trouble. After a pre-dinner drink, Killian was able to relax a bit, laughing at the jokes one of the men, Mark, was sharing with them. Everything went well until Ruby arrived with their plates. French fries. Onions rings. _Grilled Cheese_. Killian fixated on the plates, not even looking at his own salad that Ruby served with some teasing on his diet, which he would have usually reacted to. Right now his brain was focused on the food that the others had ordered. It was the same order that Emma usually made for herself.

Pure anguish filled Killian’s chest, though he was becoming accustomed to the occurrence as it had been happening ever since he discovered Emma was missing. Yet that didn’t mean he was able to deal with it easily. Without realizing it, his jaw started to clench, echoing his hand’s movement on the small paper napkin. His body began to tremble, cold sweat running down his skin as his mind reached its saturation point, leaving no place for any rational thoughts. She appeared everywhere, she was following him always. She was missing. _Missing_.

“Jones?”

The voice was muffled by the panic raging inside Killian’s body. He had to escape this hell.

_You’re alright?_

As the sentence penetrated, everything inside Killian’s head stopped and went quiet. All he could register was Emma’s voice talking to him, asking if he was okay. Everything surrounding him disappeared, only leaving her face looking at him with concern. David’s warm hand - Killian thought it was too warm, the foreign skin burning him - came to rest on his forearm, making him snap out of his vision. Taking a sharp breath, Killian quickly turned his face to see the strong hand, one that couldn’t have belonged to his Emma. His eyes looked up at a frowning David, his posture screaming “concerned”. Killian’s eyes went wild for a second. He realized what had just happened and suddenly felt everyone’s eyes on him, making it too much to handle all at once. He needed to get out before the emotions overwhelmed him, resulting in a public breakdown. He couldn’t let this happen. He couldn’t let anyone see how he truly felt.

In an awkward and jerky motion, Killian tried to get out of the booth, all eyes on him as he became more and more aware of how deranged he must now look. He finally managed to escape the table and tear his arm away from David’s hand, mumbling something that must have sounded like “stomach bug” as an excuse. Killian inhaled or at least tried to while his now blurry gaze struggled to focus on the back doors leading to the toilets. Despite his attempt to walk and not storm out of the room, his trembling legs moved too fast for his liking and led him to the only bathroom equipped with a mirror and sink. The door firmly locked, it took a couple of minutes for his ragged breaths to slow down to a more normal rhythm and a couple more for his body, that felt like it was made of jello, to stop shaking. Once Killian succeeded in getting back some equilibrium, he dared to look up at the mirror. It wasn’t a surprise to see his skin pale and covered with beads of sweat. His eyes shone with tears and _gosh_ , the white light above did nothing to hide the dark circles beneath the two gray blue irises. He looked ravaged, empty of any spark usually found in his normally forget-me-not blue eyes, no armor to protect him or his feelings. And it was terrifying.

But despite the anxiety attack he’d just had, Killian managed to find an ounce of courage and used it to splash fresh water on his face, his emotions washing away. He stayed a moment hunched above the sink, eyes closed, collecting his bearings before finally staring at his reflection again. Killian blinked several times then passed his hand over his face, forcing himself to don the tough mask he would need in order to face David and his questions along with the rest of the diner’s patrons once he’d exited the safety of the bathroom.

But first he continued to gaze at his image in the mirror, looking for something, anything to help him understand what was happening to him and his life.

_What are you doing to me, Swan?_

~/~

Killian thought David would tear him apart once they got back to the station, barraging him with questions he didn’t want to answer, but the man did nothing of the sort. Which left him to deal silently with the fact that he was missing Emma an enormous amount and making him realize that maybe, keeping it all inside was going to lead him to his own demise if they couldn’t find Emma soon.

It had been five weeks since she disappeared, only three that he remembered on his own. He was already in a desperate state while the others seemed to be doing fine. He wasn’t naive. He knew that Emma’s parents must be worried sick but they were managing the panic much better than he was. Speaking of, David was walking in his direction and he had the feeling it wouldn’t be to speak about work but some other rather unpleasant subject that had been avoided so far.

“Hey, how’s everything going?” David asked, a friendly smile on his face as he leaned on the door frame.

“Fine. All good there, mate.” Killian spoke a little too harshly and bit his cheek at the sharpness of his answer. _So much for trying to avoid said subject Jones_. “I, I’m doing good, almost done with the last part of the archive. I’m going to be out of a job soon!” Killian chuckled, hoping it would be enough to rectify his earlier tone.

“Damn it, Jones! Next time I give you a job like that, I’ll ask you to do it one h- I mean with your eyes closed!”

_Well, at least David was playing his part, if he didn’t buy his lie._

“But more seriously here, Jones. How about coming to the loft tonight? You’ve been staying on your own since you regained consciousness. I’m sure a few beers or rum with your mate would do you good.”

David’s voice was sincere and Killian couldn’t deny that staying on his own was getting harder when he was feeling so downhearted. A state he found himself in much more lately. The idea of changing his habit a bit wasn’t unpleasant and neither was sharing a drink with a friend.

“Alright. It’s a deal Dave.”

“Glad to hear that!” Not that he would have let the pirate say no anyway, “Well, finish your stuff and as soon as you’re done, we’ll do the last patrol and then head home.”

Killian took a look at the clock, realizing the afternoon was almost over. A smile crept on his face at the prospect of a nice evening ahead. Yeah, a beer with David was definitely going to do him good.

* * *

Fresh drink in hand, legs crossed, Killian sat comfortably on the sofa with David at his side while the television box-thing was broadcasting sports. Something called “FootUS”. Even if David was coming from the same magical, technology-less realm as him, it was clear to Killian that the prince was a big fan of the activity, almost as if he played it himself while he was young. The picture of a young David running after the ball crossed Killian’s mind at the thought. Yeah, it could be very possible knowing the queen’s curse had given them fake life memories.

The thing was that it left Killian to understand the rules as best as he could so he could do more than just listen to his friend’s commentary and participate in the fun. But thankfully for him, Lady Snow- Mary Margaret (she had insisted he call her that many times already) was home as well and was proving to be a valuable ally in order to survive this newest challenge. Most of the time, he felt as if he was the only one in this town not fully acclimated to the twenty-first century lifestyles. And he probably was. Rare was the inhabitant who arrived after the curse like he did. But the princess was understanding and it helped in more ways than one. He tried his best to keep his mind in the present while listening to David, but it was so easy to let his thoughts drift away, toward Emma. Which was negating the aim of the evening. Thankfully, Mary Margaret saw that he was about to head down that spiral.

“Killian?”

Her soft voice startled him and he almost jumped out of his skin.

“Umh?”

“Do you mind coming here to help me with something for dinner?”

“Oh, sure, love.”

Killian put his beer on the table and joined the brunette in the kitchen. He might have gotten up with a bit too much excitement at the new distraction, drawing David’s attention toward them.

“Snow, why don’t you leave Killian to enjoy his beer? I’m sure I could-”

“No, you can’t, _Charming_ ,” she countered quickly, using the same trick on him that he used on her, using her nickname, as the only way to have him cooperate with her plan. “I need an objective opinion, and I know you won’t give me one.”

She sent an hopefully discreet wink, telling David it wasn’t the real reason why she asked for Killian’s help. He must have gotten the message, because he sat back on the sofa, a pout on his face and continued to drink his beer in silence while still eyeing them from time to time.

When Mary Margaret was sure that David was occupied, she turned her attention back to Killian, who was looking at the decorations around the kitchen. Of course the decorations in question were framed pictures of her and Emma from when they’d been roommates. _Time to distract him, Snow!_

“Alright, Killian.” His body started to move to face her but his gaze lingered on the frames. “First, I need you to taste that sauce.”

Killian took the presented spoon then blew on the liquid until it was safe to put it inside his mouth. Mary Margaret looked at him, waiting with barely concealed excitement for his answer. But all she got was a shadow of a smile after he made an effort to actually taste the flavour of it instead of focusing on the photographs he discovered.

“Tastes divine, milady. Perhaps a bit more salt, but otherwise, we’re good.”

The little brunette smiled at his compliment, not caring much if it was true or not before taking the utensil back.

“Tell me love, you weren’t only asking for my help, were you?”

“You tell me.“ The pirate was definitely more perceptive than her husband.

“You know you sound like the bloody cricket saying this, right?”

“Archie? Well, he was a member of our royal counsel back in the Enchanted Forest, after all. And I’m not as blind as that one over there,” she teased, looking at her husband whose attention was back on the game.

Killian chuckled. Mary Margaret could only hope that Killian could see the opening that she was offering him.

“Anyway, I’m here if you want to talk, Killian.”

On that, Mary Margaret squeezed Killian’s arm before heading upstairs where the little prince was starting to cry. Another smile appeared on her lips as she heard Killian following her upstairs.

And then they talked. It wasn’t much, Killian only revealing bits and pieces of how he felt behind his walls. It was mostly how much he missed Emma and how it was harder than he’d expected it would be to live in a town where she was everywhere, yet also wasn’t. Mary Margaret’s heart was tight in her chest as she realized they had all been missing Emma the same way that he was, except they weren’t really dealing with it alone. So she tried to give Killian some comfort, a few wise words Archie would have given her if they switched places.

It was at this point that both of their attentions were caught by Neal who slowly tried to escape her arms in favor of the curiosity Killian represented. The pirate tensed a moment, unsure of what to do until she assured him it was okay and everything would be alright. Killian was good with children. She could see it now as he held Neal, and he had proved it to everyone over the years with the way he cared for Henry. Seeing Killian entertaining her little prince was all Mary Margaret needed to decide to give the two of them a moment alone.

She cast one last look at Killian - who had finally relaxed himself- holding a very happy babbling Neal before she softly closed the door of the bedroom and went back downstairs. David had turned off the TV and was standing next to the counter playing with the rim of his empty bottle. As soon as she approached the kitchen island, David looked up from his beer and crossed his arms on his chest, making Mary Margaret roll her eyes.

“Come on David, you know I’m not the one who’s going to be taught a lesson from you.”

“Is it? What exactly was all of this? Why did you put Killian on babysitting duty?” David’s volume started to increase as his annoyance toward Mary Margaret spilled over.

“You really didn’t notice, did you, Charming?”

“Notice what, _Snow_?”

“Well, Killian!”

“I- well of course I noticed! Why would I have proposed for him to come tonight if I didn’t notice he wasn’t like his normal, cocky, and charming self?”

“See, here’s the thing, darling. There’s much more to it,” Mary Margaret explained, her voice softer at the subject.

David scoffed but came to sit on one of the stools of the kitchen, waving at his wife to elaborate on the subject.

“You,” Mary Margaret shook her head, correcting her start, “ _We_. We really need to be careful with Killian. Careful of all the small details of everyday life.”

“What now?” David shook his head, confused. “What do you mean?”

“If I was missing, David, how would you react to seeing details in your day that would remind you of my disappearance?” David could be quite naïve and it was even more unnerving in the current situation.

“Pretty bad, I guess,” he replied, shrugging his shoulders.

“Well, it’s exactly what’s happening to him, David! Killian is not only missing his memories but Emma too! I saw his reactions.” Killian had just told her his fears, but how David hadn't seen any sign of them was a mystery to her. Or perhaps Killian was really good at hiding them. “He’s doing his best to be strong and hide it, but the look in his eyes...it haunts me. He’s suffering and he’s doing this all on his own. We need to be careful with what we’re saying and doing, careful to make sure he’s okay and not drowning in his emotions. We could end up losing him too, David.”

He looked at his wife, not daring to say a thing. Of course she was right and he’d been blind not having connected the dots earlier. His reaction at Granny’s now made so much more sense and he felt awful for not having helped his friend. He could have done something the moment the pirate started to work at the station three weeks ago.

“And we would be lying to ourselves if we said those very same things don’t pain us as well.”

“You’re right. _Gosh_ , Mary Margaret, I’ve messed up so much today…”

“It’s okay, we’re not perfect. I should have seen it earlier too when Belle told you about his behavior. We should have never let him stay alone aboard his ship in the first place. But now we need to be vigilant and try to see past his walls. Because if we miss Emma, he’s missing her even more.”

“Alright.” David took her in his arms, leaving a kiss on her head. “I’ll keep an eye on him at work.”

“You’re going to what now, mate?” Killian’s voice echoed on the staircase as he joined the couple.

“Look after you, so you don’t kill the computer.” David raised his eyebrow at Killian’s outraged face.

“David!” Mary Margaret scolded, slapping his chest.

“What? That guy here is working way too fast when it comes to cleaning and ordering the archive! I have no other choice than to put him behind the computer again. But worry not, mate. I’ll be staying close and we’ll avoid the same damn error!”

“You better be, I’m holding you on that one. Because you better not come crying that your machine is broken to pieces on the floor!” Though Killian was smiling, David knew he was serious about ruining the machine. “Anyway, the little prince is sleeping, my lady. I should let you two alone and go to my own bed as well. It was a very pleasant evening in your company.”

“Thank you, Killian.” Mary Margaret came to give him a quick hug before stepping back. “And don’t forget that you’re very welcome here, if you need anything or just company. David will love that too.”

“Aye.” Killian looked at David with his signature eyebrow raise, “Told you mate, I’m winning you over!”

“Hey! Since when did you two team up against me?”

“Good night, Killian.” Mary Margaret whispered, opening the door for him, while making sure the pirate would take the faster way to the docks before closing their door.

He and Mary Margaret lingered in front of the door in a tight embrace. When the timer signalling their dinner echoed in the hall, Mary Margaret pushed him away. David started to set the table for them when he saw Mary Margaret turn on her heels and look at him with wild eyes.

“What is it, Mary Margaret?”

“I- Killian!” She gasped before turning and placing the casserole dishes on the counter. “I asked him about dinner and we just closed the door after him!”

“Well, technically, he said he was going, but-”

“This was rude, David! We have to do something.”

She wasn’t wrong. Now that he thought of everything they said, this was most impolite of them. When David looked back at his wife, she was biting her lips and looking at him nervously. _Why did he have the feeling he was about to run after the pirate?_

“Charming?” Mary Margaret cajoled, coming to take his hand in hers.

“Ah, so now I’m _Charming_?” David scoffed before shaking his head.

He kissed her briefly before grabbing his jacket and opening the door.

Thankfully, Killian hadn’t gone very far, David catching him just before he had to slow down his pace to catch his breath. Killian was quite surprised and embarrassed by the offer of dinner, but David assured him Mary Margaret would be quite disappointed if he declined. And he would be very annoyed for having run after him for nothing. That of course, earned him another sassy comment from the pirate. When the two men returned, it was to see Mary Margaret laughing at the scene from the porch.

With a bit of luck, that dinner wouldn’t be too awkward.

* * *

The days were too long. Actually, the week itself felt like it would never end. Killian shook his head, looking at the clock. He had been preoccupied by the looks he felt on his back every second since the incident at Granny’s, pushing him to double his efforts to keep his emotions hidden. It drained him emotionally and physically to be that vigilant all the time. He yearned for the weekend to start so he could fully relax aboard his ship, without having to hide from the rest of the town. _That is to say, if his cursed brain would allow it_.

By eleven o’clock on Wednesday morning, Killian was already craving an afterwork beer that had become a fixture since last Friday. The quiet evening with the Charmings had been like a drug. He had felt so much lighter when he went home that night and slept nearly until morning without trouble. It felt good to be able to sleep instead of fighting his demons, but Killian couldn’t alert the Charmings to just how much he was suffering. Inviting himself to the loft again wasn’t good form no matter what the princess said. Killian was, above all, a gentleman, so he held his tongue and kept it to himself. As with any addiction however, the intoxicating effects of the evening with his friends were disappearing all too soon and the darkness inside his mind had been fast to take control of his thoughts once more. Leaving him yearning for the solace of the bottle more frequently.

\---

The voices were ruthless. _She_ was merciless against his soul. He had tried to resist the urge to go out and have a drink again, but it had only resulted in opening one of his own rum bottles once aboard the Jolly, drinking until he passed out. Though the nightmares had blocked him from any real rest on thoses nights. Thus, his only solution to his problem so far, was to hang out at the Rabbit Hole as long as he could, keep his mind occupied, before heading back to his ship where he would sleep the bare minimum, not leaving enough time for the dreams to come and haunt him. For once in those bloody weeks, he could be the one controlling his actions and not let the fucking emotions emanating from his damn heart and brain take control. Even for the short period of time it was.

\---

Long before the end of his shift at the station, Killian felt the need to distract his mind growing until it was the only thing he could think about. So here he was at 10pm, at the Rabbit Hole, nursing another fresh beer along with his tenth shot of rum. His colleagues were long gone, leaving him to do his best to forget about Emma, if only for the night. Then maybe he’d be able to sleep later. He needed to forget so he could survive the following days at the station without David finding him sound asleep next to the keyboard of his bloody computer. With a snort, Killian grabbed his beer and chugged it down. He waved at the barman for another one, the man executing his order but not without a warning of it being the last one. Something about not having the right to let his customers drink themselves until they passed out on his floor. Killian snarled at him, before the man meekly returned behind his counter.

He was drunk. Killian knew it and dang did he feel it. It was probably going to be the last one indeed if he wanted to return to his ship simply staggering and not crawling on the floor. But it seemed that expecting solitude while drinking was instead calling one of the bloody damn _dwarves_ to your side. Killian stared as the short bearded man took a seat in front of him, his own stein of beer in hand. Frowning, Killian tried to figure out which of the seven demons it was, but his brain and foggy vision would not cooperate. Before he could open his mouth to send the guy away, the fucking man started to rant about his damn problems and how, as an employee of the police station, he needed to do something to solve those problems posthaste. Killian remembered growling at one of his remarks, but soon the words that the pain in the arse continued to spew became muffled until all that Killian heard was reproches. Remarks about his failure, about how weak he was by letting his poor ass slowly fall back into the alcohol, how he was nothing but a coward. How he couldn’t even remember what had happened to him, how he couldn’t save her. Didn’t save Emma.

Killian’s glassy gaze was directed on the bottle he was holding while the recriminations were slowly and surely drowning him.

_Failure. Coward. Weak._

His hand gripped harder on the beer, his knuckles turning white as his arm shook with the tension he was applying. The sound of his labored breaths invaded his burning ears.

_Troublesome. Unworthy. Alone._

Suddenly Killian slammed the bottle on the table, the glass cracking from the impact and the vise grip he had on it.

“WOULD YOU JUST SHUT UP??” Killian screamed.

The rest of the patrons quieted, half of them staring at the dark headed man standing in the middle of the bar. Killian was shaking with rage, his vision now clear despite the alcohol he drank. Just as his brain realised what was happening, Killian loudly huffed, shoving away the table and chairs standing in his path as he left the Rabbit Hole. He closed the door with such force that the shock wave it created made his old bottle completely shatter, several patrons startling at the sharp sound.

White puffs left Killian’s mouth as he walked in the chilly night air back to his ship.

_What was that about?_ Killian shook his head yet again. He had completely lost his temper while drunk. He huffed. _Ya still pretty’ drunk, mate_. But the question came again in his mind. He couldn’t tell where the anger was coming from. Between the drinks, the exhaustion, the bloody lack of sleep; the list could go on. It had been a long time since he had felt so much anger, rage and pain all combined to invade his being until he could do nothing but let it control him. He had almost forgotten how it felt. When he crashed on his cold, lonely and hard bunk, something else came to his mind.

He was about to forget everything that happened that evening anyway, so why should he hurt his brain in trying to figure out his mood swings when he wouldn’t recall the answer in the morning?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all your kind messages here and tumblr ♥  
> As I still have to finish that damn 60K monster (how did it get so long??), I’m going to post 1 chapter on Wednesdays every 2 weeks and well, if I finish the fic before we reached the last chapters, I’ll go on a quicker path with 1ch/week! (I share sneak peek of each next chapter on my tumblr if you want to have a look :))


	3. Chapter II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things began to get messy and both Killian and David will start getting in trouble.
> 
> Hence the following warnings for this chapter (will precise when needed for each chapters)>> (a bit too much alcohol) blood and pain and I guess almost gore for a scene, as I didn’t went into the details but maybe your brain will do it for you lol <<
> 
> as always, art made by the amazing eastwesthomeisbest on tumblr!

The harsh light of morning landed on his eyelids and slowly, oh so slowly, Killian’s awareness returned after the dreamless night he had. Inhaling deeply, Killian rolled on his belly, hiding his face from the morning light as his legs remained tangled in the sheets and blankets on his bunk. A few minutes later, he stood up, his fingers massaging his temples. He was quite certain he had had to drag his sorry ass all the way back to the ship late last night, but this morning, all he could feel was a slight headache. The fact stunned him for a moment, before he let out a chuckle.

“Well, Jones... you might still be a hell of a pirate,” he whispered, smiling, his voice still rough with sleep.

He was glad he could apparently still handle his rum the way he used to. Yet a small voice in the back of his head warned him against using alcohol to solve his problems. _Emma wouldn’t want this_. His face suddenly darkened at his own mention of Emma. His jaw clenched a few times before he headed for the small modern bathroom Em- _they_ had built aboard his ship. Killian still needed to bring water in himself, but the container they’d added was letting him enjoy a few hot showers before it needed to be refilled. After cleaning himself up, making sure he looked decent despite the night he had, Killian got dressed and left for work.

The station was particularly quiet this morning as everyone dealt with their own hangovers from the previous evening. Reassured that everyone seemed to be much worse off than he was, Killian waved good morning to the volunteers already working before heading to the small kitchen the station possessed and filling a mug with water. Getting a small bottle from the cabinet, he remembered that Emma had once told him that the small white capsule contained within would help with a headache. Killian winced at her name once again, his heart painfully lurching. Would he ever be free from the pain he felt when he thought of her? His quiet moment ended as a still half asleep David joined him for his second cup of morning coffee. Killian had remarked earlier in the week that the prince always prepared that steaming black beverage before he started on anything in his daily planner. And today, the liquid looked extra dark and extra strong to battle the hangover. Killian chuckled while a loud yawn escaped David’s lips.

“How the fuck are you that awake, Hook?” David half groaned.

“Pirate, mate. It seems I can simply handle it better than you!” Jones chuckled again, a smirk on his face. “What did you call it last night? Small boy-night out?”

“Laugh it up, man...Who’s the one taking an aspirin?”

David left Killian’s side still grumbling, trying to find a quiet place to finish his coffee while the other man was still smiling proudly. In reality however, the more Killian thought about it, the more he realized his headache was already better and was likely to disappear completely in a few minutes. With a shrug, Killian put the aspirin inside one of his pockets, along with any concern at his lack of a hangover before he drank the water and got started on his own morning tasks.

~/~

David had been staring at Killian ever since the caffeine had fully kicked in. He didn’t say anything though, and it was really starting to annoy him. Had he done something at the bar last night that the sheriff knew about? Or perhaps David saw him leaving last night. He couldn’t remember anything clearly. All he was sure of was that he went home pretty drunk, in the wee hours of the morning after a confrontation with one of the dwarves that he only remembered bits and pieces of. Thus, David’s constant scrutiny was disturbing to say the least. With a loud sigh Killian stopped his work.

“Spill it, _Dave_.”

“What?”

Killian raised an eyebrow at him. _Oh, so innocent, mate. Pretty sure a lad could fake it better._

“You’ve been staring. So what is it?”

“I- what, what gave you that idea? That I was...” Killian’s bored look put an end to David’s lie. “Alright, I...I can’t help but keep wondering how you can be _that_ good.”

“How’s that, mate?”

“Well, I wasn’t _that_ drunk yesterday and, anyway, umh... You stayed longer and already looked quite drunk when I went home. So I’m just...surprised that you don’t seem to be suffering any ill effects like the rest of us.”

“What can I say? Guess I’m just as good as I used to be and perhaps I do have some pirate secrets.” Killian lied with a smirk in order to keep his own doubts from his friend.

Once David walked away, Killian couldn’t help but focus on the returned feeling that something wasn’t right. And this time he didn’t have any excuse to push it away. If he had been as drunk last night as he, and David too apparently, believed himself to be, he should have woken up with at least a bloody headache that would last the rest of the day. But it was two in the afternoon and the aspirin was still untouched inside his pocket. The suspicion in David’s eyes was making it difficult to keep his cool and behave as if nothing had happened. In fact, it was annoying him to the point that by the end of the day, his body was filled with tension, just as it had been last week. Killian cursed under his breath that all his efforts to relax were lost.

* * *

Feeling guilty for causing the tension he could feel rolling off of Killian, David decided to take him out for a drink the next day. It was his fault after all. He had triggered Killian again with his stupid remark this morning. So with the promise that this time it would be just the two of them, the prince suggested they start the weekend with a bang. He made it clear that neither of them were going home until they had had their fun and were completely relaxed. David was going to follow Mary Margaret’s advice and help Killian get out of his own head so he could enjoy his weekend.

It all started perfectly, the Rabbit Hole was only about half full, unusual for a Friday night but perfect for them. They’d found a nice table in a back corner, as far as possible from the counter (judging by the look that the bartender gave to Killian when they came in, David was glad of their location). Happy Hour had just started and Killian had seemed to have a pretty good day with no emotional blow-ups. Everything was ready for a nice, chill night between David and his “bro,” as Henry had called Killian before they left. The boy had stopped by the loft after school to say hi to all of them, giving David a boost in putting Killian in the “right mood” at the same time.

Settling in at their table, David attempted some pleasant conversation, though it took two beers before Killian finally relaxed a little and started to give their discussion more attention. An hour after that, the two men were smiling and laughing at the latest news in the daily paper their neighbor had forgotten on his table. It was simple and silly, but it was everything David had hoped for in order to have Killian completely relaxed and carefree. However, the prince should have known that trying to keep pace with a pirate would get them into trouble. It all started with a stupid drinking challenge. A few other patrons had joined them and the supposed carefree evening got serious in the blink of an eye. David was very drunk, this deep into the shooters contest, and Killian had to be as well, but the man was just being extra happy, charming... _urrh_ , more cocky. And boy, if they had met back in the Enchanted Forest at an inn in a similar situation, the great Captain Hook no doubt would have wiped the floor with David’s low alcohol tolerance.

Despite his own drunken state, it wasn’t long before David could see that Killian was _too_ drunk and that he’d better get his mate away from the rum as well or he’d be in serious trouble. Who was he fooling? _They_ would be in serious trouble!

“Alright, mate...y-you w-won. Now stap that, please,” David slurred.

“OY! I’m no’ down with that street rat, Dave!”

“J-Jones, ya gotta...”

“That’s Captain Hook to you!” he shouted, posing very much like the Statue of Liberty, standing tall on the table, his hook raised in the air.

With that, cheers erupted in the bar, chanting _Captain Hook, Captain Hook,_ as the man grinned proudly and swallowed down another stein while his opponent couldn’t even drink half of his own. More exclamations filled the room but David managed to convince everyone to have a break before another drinking contest could start. Killian seemed to pout for a second before he decided to get down from his platform. Without hesitation, David motioned to the barkeep for some water and once it was delivered, forced Killian to drink it up. Of course, the pirate spat the water out after he swallowed half of it.

“BLOODY HELL! What’s _that_?!”

“Water, Jones… w-we got to stop... or we’ll never get home…-one piece.”

“Have it your way, mate.”

David was surprised by the fluency with which Killian answered him. It was like the small amount of water he’d ingested had given him back some mental clarity while he was struggling to speak correctly between hiccups. The next second however, Killian’s eyes darkened with anger as he got right in David’s face.

“I’m done when I say so,” Killian answered coldly, slamming the glass on the table and heading straight to the counter.

Or at least, as straight as his staggered gait would let him. David was left to watch his friend jumping right back into another game, before he felt the effects of the alcohol hit him right in the back of his skull. With a long moan, David closed his eyes and brought his hands around his head, hoping to soothe the pulsing pain, which only worsened with the echo of the wild party going on at the opposite end of the room. The room suddenly started to spin and everything went black.

When David regained consciousness, the bar was still full but this time, he only heard the music playing in the background and a few men chatting two tables away from him, the previous cheering completely gone. _Did I fall asleep?_ Despite the massive headache, he forced his blood shot eyes to locate Killian in the dimly lit room. Thankfully, he spotted his mate on the right, Killian’s head lolling while he tried his best to keep his hold on the half full glass of rum. Groaning, David pushed himself away from the table before very slowly walking toward Killian. The floor was moving under his shoes, not doing his stomach any favors.

When he was close enough, he heard Killian mumbling incoherently.

“ _…don’t feel good,Mate…_ ”

“WHAT?”

Killian cringed at his loud voice.

“said….I- don’t feel good D-davv,” Killian whispered, his eyes closing.

“OH!“ Another visible cringe. “Oh! S-sorry Jones,” David whispered back.

Killian let go of his glass, his slightly shaking hand coming to cover his mouth. Once the nausea passed, he tried to look at the prince who was still staring at him, stock still, not sitting down in the chair he’d drawn away from the table. Killian took a deep breath, the sound making David unfreeze and finally finish his move to sit. The prince made a very serious face but nothing escaped his mouth. Killian chuckled idiotically and shook his head. _Wrong move_. David looked frightened for a minute that he was about to repaint the table but he managed to only hiccup with a disgusted pout. Killian quickly grabbed his glass and finished the liquor to wash away the sour taste.

“Noooo! Come on mate... you said you’d stop!” mumbled David, grabbing his head in defeat.

“Can’t say,“ _another hiccup,_ “I told you any such thing, m-mate.”

Killian’s cold demeanor died as soon as he finished his sentence, groaning before pushing on the table in order to get up. He needed to get outside, _now_. He wanted to vomit and this time he knew he wouldn’t be able to hold it back. And there was that bloody weird sensation again. His head felt like it could explode with the way his blood was pulsing in rhythm with the loud music, yet he was somehow still able to have coherent thoughts. Clouded but coherent nonetheless. He knew he was very drunk, if David’s own state was any indication. The point was: Killian Jones felt fucking horrible and all he wanted was to head back home to sober up in peace. He didn’t exactly expect the road to his bed would be a bloody obstacle course.

He had hardly taken his first step when David frowned in disbelief before waving at him.

“What the fuck are you doing?!” His voice jumped an octave at the end of his sentence.

“Going home,” Killian grumbled, before resuming shuffling towards the door.

“What? H-how?”

Suddenly, Killian found himself quite irritated at the prince.

“I’m walking home. That’s all.”

“Nnngh. I’m not letting you do this.” David had to try twice, but he was finally back on his two feet.

“Hell you are!” Killian snapped. If he had been feeling sick moments ago, he now possessed some renewed energy that he planned to use to escape his mate’s grasp, whether he liked it or not.

“I insist, mate. Not letting you go alone!” David seemed to feel better as well as he talked with more assurance and determination. “I’m escorting you home.”

A low groan bubbled up Killian’s throat as he snatched David’s hand away from his shoulder before he answered the prince with a dark voice.

“You can escort yourself, _mate_.”

The prince looked back at him with a cold glare, maneuvering himself between the exit and Killian. The tension was becoming palpable between the two men. Killian took several breaths through his nose, his hand clenched at his side. He needed to stay calm but David was making it extremely difficult.

“Move out of my way, before I _make_ you, _David_.”

Killian was trying to hold on to his temper despite the burning anger building inside his chest. He wished no harm to the prince, but he wasn’t joking either when he said that he would make him move. But the blonde man stood resolutely in front of him, not moving an inch.

“You ain't going anywhere, Jones. Not without me.”

Killian’s face broke into laughter before the cold mask was back, his eyes throwing daggers. _Who was he to talk to him like he was a child?_

“I’m an adult, mate. I can take care of myself, thank you very much.”

“Are you, Jones?” Killian ground his teeth at the bossy tone David was using. “Because so far you’re not behaving like one!”

“You don’t get to say _anything_ to me!” Killian shouted.

People were starting to stare at the scene they were making in the middle of the bar. But Killian’s only focus was on the man in front of him. He wanted him to behave like a man, but fuck his shit, he was talking to him like he was his father and knew better. Killian’s posture had become anything but friendly while David remained impassive, his perfect stoic perfect face making Killian’s anger grow even more. He wanted to hurt the man. He _needed_ to hurt him.

“And you know why?” Killian asked, almost laughing in despair at David’s face before anger took back the upper hand. “Because you have no fucking idea how it feels!” His voice was hard as he screamed, “You can’t understand! What it’s like to be without _her_! To _live_ without her!”

At the revelation, David’s face cracked as the pain slowly spread across it. _Straight in the guts, Jones_ , his mind cheered while a smirk appeared on his face, the hurt feeling already forgotten.

“You’re such an asshole!” David yelled back.

Gone was the bravado, the strong stature. Killian could now see the raw emotions written on his friend’s face. It should have felt wrong but now, in this moment, it felt so bloody good. And he didn’t care to hide it.

“She’s my _daughter_ , Hook.”

Killian, with his devil may care attitude and his hair sticking out in every direction, tilted his head at David’s watery answer, feeling not an ounce of culpability. He huffed with a small smile on his lips before walking past David, bumping the prince with his shoulder. Only the man wasn’t finished. Killian was suddenly stopped by David’s strong hand around his bicep. Killian looked at the man from the corner of his eyes, showing his teeth as he slowly spoke.

“Let _go_ of me.”

It wasn’t a warning. Each word was dripping with venom and Killian couldn't care less if he was threatening one of the only people who had supported him since all this mess started. His thoughts were being dictated by his emotions. He could feel the monster deep inside him, clawing his way out so it could spill its hatred all over the place. He could feel the sting underneath his skin, feel the alcohol burning through his veins and fueling the rage trapped within him. The moment he felt the grip around his arm tighten, the last vestiges of control Killian could have held on his temper were blown to pieces. He only saw red as his mind went blank.

The steel of the barstool slamming on the floor echoed in his ears and woke Killian from the trance he’d been in. He was shaking with the last waves of anger as he realized too late what he’d just done. David was spread on the floor, blood flowing down from his broken nose as he coughed, trying to get his bearings back from the violent impact. Killian’s unsteady gaze fell on the trembling fist at his side, the skin coated with fresh blood. His eyes jumped back to the prince. He had punched his best mate, one of the few who had helped him since all this started. That knowledge, along with everything else, shocked him back to full awareness. All the alcohol and anger was gone, replaced by shame and guilt. The adrenaline kicked in and everything around him was muted. _Run._ It was the only thing he could think of. _Run as fast and as far as he could from this place._

So he ran for his life back to his ship.

~/~

David was still on the floor, shaken to the core as people started to gather around him, asking if he was alright. _How could I be?_ His brain was still trying to digest what had just happened. The man he considered a friend had just stabbed him right through the heart with his words, breaking him. _He couldn’t have meant them, right?_ But the look in his eyes; David couldn’t describe it. He didn’t know if it was because of the alcohol or the pain or if his mate was really that furious at him. He had tried to stop him, _I only wanted to make sure he would return home safely_ , but then Killian had lifted his elbow and hit him in the jaw, only to prepare his final blow. David still felt the prick of fear deep inside when he recalled in slow motion Killian’s fist rip through the air, aiming for his face. He could still hear Killian’s roar inside his skull as the pirate's knuckles connected with his nose, the sickening crunch before he could do anything to avoid the hit. It all happened too fast. And now he was trying his best to catch his breath with his freshly broken nose and his heart slamming against his ribcage. Along with the physical pain, David also felt the pain of betrayal rolling over him. How could he forgive Killian after what happened? He and Mary Margaret had done everything they could to help him not drown in his feelings and this is the thanks he gets?

Yet, he couldn’t just let Killian run away, not like this. Nothing that happened tonight was an excuse for the harsh words Killian had thrown at him, but David wouldn’t seek revenge on the pirate, either.

David shook his head, taking the water someone had given to him before he used the fallen stool to help him get up. He took a napkin from the counter and wiped the blood from his nose and lips, his eyes fixed on the entrance door.

The damn pirate was hurting. He was sure he saw a flash of anguish cross Killian's face while he was trying to shake the stars away from his vision. David was certain he had heard Killian gasp at the scene before he ran. David took a moment to collect his thoughts. The alcohol was mostly gone from his system, though exhaustion was rapidly overtaking him. His eyes stung, his head hurt, and _damn_ , the blood pulsing inside his nose was making everything worse.

Still, he needed to go check on him. Just to make sure that moron wouldn’t do anything foolish, alone aboard his ship the rest of the weekend. He had no doubt that Killian would avoid him for several days after what had just happened, but David would not let his friend hurt himself. With renewed motivation, the prince pushed himself away from the counter and exited the Rabbit Hole heading for the docks.

* * *

When the moon deigned to appear from behind the clouds, Killian was finally able to clearly see where he was putting his feet. His speed was unsteady, making him stumble over obstacles in his path. The light helped immensely in keeping him from that. Killian didn’t think it had been that long since he’d stormed out of the bar, yet he was panting hard, limbs shaking, the night air feeling like it froze every drop of sweat covering his skin, even those under the fabric of his clothes. But he couldn’t stop now, he needed to get to his ship as quickly as possible. Two steps later, he tripped over his own damn foot for what felt like the dozenth time since he’d run from the bar. That was enough to make him realize that he still couldn’t see the familiar docks. _Did he just run around the whole damn town instead of going straight to the docks?_

Now that the adrenaline boost was gone, fatigue was setting into his muscles. All he wanted was to find refuge aboard his ship after what he’d done to David, the short flashes of the scene making his stomach twist and heart shatter. But not knowing exactly where he was, he was not going to get what he wanted. As the full moon shone brighter in the clear night sky, Killian looked up only to feel his head start to spin, making it difficult to keep his stomach contents intact. Everything around him became fuzzy, as if the images were constantly shifting. But somehow, in his panic, he finally managed to see the gangplank of the Jolly directly in front of him. A hot flush spread over him, leaving Killian gasping for fresh air when he momentarily lost his balance.

“What the bloody hell-”

Another hot flush overcame him in response. Shaking his head again, Killian tilted dangerously to his right, regaining his balance before tripping over the edge of the dock. ‘ _Right, the bloody plank_ ’ Killian reminded himself of his aim and with a deep breath in through his nose he succeeded in climbing up on board without falling into the dark waters. Unfortunately, he missed the last small step and fell flat on his face on the hard wooden deck. The hit brought some clarity to his foggy mind and Killian jumped back to his feet, his mind on high alert.

His labored breath filled his ears, the air around him becoming suddenly thick and terrifyingly cold while his whole body had been burning just two seconds before. Startled by the new change, Killian looked around realizing that everything around him and within him felt _wrong_. Fear was clawing inside his chest as he gasped, hyper aware of all the details of the Jolly’s deck and the sounds surrounding him, from the gentle lap of the waves against the ship to the cry of the night birds on the tall trees that were too far away to even see them clearly. He couldn’t, he _shouldn’t_ hear or see anything like that. Killian moaned in pain, taking his head in his hand, trying to push away the dizziness. _This is just the bloody exhaustion and alcohol, Jones._ He was almost there, just a little more effort. Once he was in his bed, he would be better able to deal with everything.

It took an eternity to cover the distance to his cabin, while down below he couldn’t keep himself from knocking against the walls of the corridor before finally reaching the security of the familiar room. The tremors that had eased on his way down were back in full force, shaking Killian to the point of bringing him to his knees if not for the support of the door behind his back. He cursed loudly as he felt the heat rising inside his body once again. There was only one thing he could think of to give him some relief, all while trying to make sense of the chaotic information that kept invading his mind: a shower. His legs moved automatically, while with suddenly numbed fingers, he was freezing _again,_ Killian tried to unbutton his waistcoat and shirt. Ripping the bloody things apart crossed his mind each time the damn tiny buttons slipped from his fingers, but in the end the clothing remained intact and successfully removed. Killian didn’t even care to strip off his pants before he reached for the knob and turned the hot water to its maximum. _Gods, his body temperature needed to stop swinging back and forth_.

The small bathroom was soon filled with steam and the hot water sluicing down his body finally helped his muscles to relax from the strain and wild sprint he’d just made to his ship. Killian allowed himself to sigh, sinking to the floor of the shower, releasing the tensions he’d accumulated in the too short amount of time. Another ten minutes under the water, Killian thought, and he would be able to turn off the water, get dry and let his body rest. But all too soon, his head started to pain him again as he realized that the once hot water was now tepid. All his efforts to relax were gone as he opened his eyes to find himself shaking uncontrollably.

“ Wha-what is ha-hap-ppening to m-me?” Killian cursed, his teeth chattering.

He tried to get up but the movement was nearly impossible with the shaking, all his strength sapped. The throbbing inside his head intensified, leaving Killian gripping the closest thing to him, the rim around the bottom of the shower. His eyes squeezed shut and his mouth hung open as he silently screamed in pain. It kept coming in waves, with an eerie moment of calm between each one. Killian grabbed his head as the pain crested, hoping that would help ease the agony, and when it did and he released his grip on his head, the throbbing torture returned, even worse than before.

As if his head wasn’t enough to deal with, his limbs, spasming in time with the waves of agony in his head, were beginning to go numb. Killian hadn’t even noticed that the water was now cold, all his attention focused on his left arm that began to hurt like a bitch. It had started to throb just as painfully as his head, though the pirate was only just now discerning the familiarity of the pain: _phantom pain_. It had been over a century since he had last felt it, his wrist completely healed. Yet as Killian let out an agonized whimper, his stump felt like his hand had been freshly cut off. It was under the leather brace that was saturated with water just as his jeans were. Having to see what was causing the excruciating pain, Killian had no choice but to take the brace off.

He may have been frustrated with the buttons of his shirt and waistcoat, but he was sure undoing the clasps and the different parts of the brace with completely numbed fingers would kill him before the pain would. Everything was wet, the silver buckles slipping away from his shaking fingers each time he tried to undo them. The water that was dripping from his hair into his eyes was making the task nearly impossible. Killian screamed both his frustration and pain until he was finally able to get the brace off, throwing it away with such an incredible force it was a wonder he didn’t put a hole in the side of the Jolly, before his hand clapped itself on the red stump and began to massage it.

 _This has to be a bloody nightmare_. Killian thought, looking up at the ceiling, water in his eyes, _or was it tears?_ , wanting to be able to see the sky. Oh, how he wished he could look upon the stars, listen to the waves and feel the usual calm that came with staring at the horizon or night sky. But he was stuck on the floor inside his cabin, cursing and feeling like he was losing his sanity.

It wasn’t enough. Nothing was enough to ease the physical pain. Just as Killian focused his attention away from his own body, he felt crushed by the sounds bombarding his ears, just like when he was on the deck. His own ragged breath, the creak of the hull, the water falling on the tile of the shower and so many others that he couldn’t name. Only this time, every damn sound was multiplied by a hundred. They pierced his head and eardrums, and Killian could only scream at the top of his lungs, trying to drown it out. When his voice finally broke, Killian became aware of the searing pain that radiated from his right hand. His fingers, to be precise. Killian clamped his jaw tight, releasing his stump that was covered with blood and brought the trembling fingers before his eyes. He could not believe what he was seeing. Blinking the water drops away, he looked again at his digits but it was still here. His nails were slowly growing into claws. Killian lost it. He hadn’t thought it was possible to be even more freaked out then he had already been after he realized what he’d done to David. The new onslaught of fear gave him enough strength to jump to his feet and out from under the water only to run into the full-length mirror opposite the shower. It was a wonder that it didn’t shatter and Killian would have been surprised if his heart hadn't felt like it was going to beat out of his bloody chest when he saw his reflection.

 _Is that- is that- fucking fangs?_ Killian stared at his gaping mouth, his canines looking much larger, and sharper than usual.

Before any new questions about his appearance occurred to him, his attention was captured by footsteps on the wooden deck above him. In a heartbeat, Killian ran to lock his door, his body becoming still as he listened carefully to the sounds above while trying to remain silent.

* * *

Despite having to stop to rest twice, David got to the docks as quickly as he could. _Fucking rum_. He was really regretting drinking so much tonight. He would’ve been here in half the time if he hadn’t. But now that he’d finally arrived at the Jolly, David glanced around, looking for any hint of Killian’s presence on board. It had been almost an hour since the pirate had left the Rabbit Hole. _Surely he’d be here by now. Unless_... The muffled sound of a door closing below deck told him the pirate did make it back to his ship.

“Hook?”

David listened carefully, but his call remained unanswered.

_What did you expect? He isn’t going to answer you after what happened._

Mumbling another curse, David started to head for Killian’s cabin. As he walked down the stairs, his stomach clenched in worry. Something felt off.

“Jones? Are you here?” David called again, his voice laced with concern.

His ears picked up the shuffled steps behind the door to the captain’s cabin and David frowned before moving down the dark corridor leading to it. The memory of Killian’s anger slowed his steps, goosebumps appearing on his arms while the hair at the base of his neck rose. But David shook away the fear. Even if the pirate had looked insane for a split second back at the bar, he had seen the guilt flash in the man’s eyes before he ran away. The prince took a deep breath and resumed his determined walk. He was here to make sure Jones was okay, then he’ll leave. Once in front of the door, David’s hand hovered over the door knob.

“Jones?”

Still no answer, but David saw the shadow of the man move at the bottom of the door. Carefully resting his ear against the door, David tried to listen to what could be happening behind it. Jones was definitely on the other side of it as he could hear the heavy breathing and the small clinking of the engaged lock each time the door shook from his movement.

“Come on Jones, I know you’re here!” The sound behind the door ceased. “I can hear you breathing. I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

David heard the pirate curse under his breath before the man moved again.

“Get out, mate.”

David frowned at the hoarseness in his voice. It sounded like he had been screaming for a prolonged period, the new detail only adding to his worries.

“Jones, let me in.”

“I- I said go. I won’t say it again.” Killian’s muffled voice pleaded, but David also noticed the fear in it. There was no way he was leaving, no matter what Killian wanted, until he saw him with his own eyes.

“Killian, open the door.” David’s commanding voice echoed in the small corridor. “I just want to help, mate.” Sensing his tone might not have sounded friendly, David felt the need to let Killian know his true motive. “I, what happened in the bar doesn’t matter right now. I just need to make sure you are okay.”

“I TOLD YOU TO GO.”

David startled back, surprised that his friend could yell with such force while seconds ago, he had sounded hoarse, breathless, almost pained. He heard Killian take shaking breaths between whimpers mixed with the sound of a sharp object scratching against the wood. David’s guts twisted and this time his fingers closed around the knob of the locked door and tried to open it.

“Damn it, Killian! Open the fucking door!” David cried.

“Dave, you have to go.” Killian sounded fearful now, and it only made David want to force the door open.

“Why? What on earth is happening?”

“It’s not safe! I, I’m not safe.” Another deep moan echoed from Killian’s side of the door. “I, I’m dangerous.”

“Bullshit. You might have been drunk as hell at the bar but I saw the regret in your eyes, Killian. I know you didn’t mean it.” David fought back against his friend’s nonsense, ignoring the internal voice screaming at him to listen to Killian’s warning, accentuated by the dread settling at the back of his mind. “Come on now, I’m not leaving until I see you!”

The next second, Killian let out a roar, the deep roar of an animal. David jumped away from the door, his body standing stock still against the opposite wall as his eyes remained locked on the door separating him from Killian. The only sound that remained was David’s quick pants as a fear he had never felt, even facing a dragon, washed over his body.

_What was that?_

A loud _thud_ brought David’s attention back to the man who was behind the door. Acting before thinking, David barreled against it, the wood groaning against the lock. After two more kicks against the weakened lock, the door opened, only for David to find Killian’s passed out form behind it.

“God fucking damn, JONES!” David yelled, carefully moving past the door frame and kneeling next to Killian’s body.

But the pirate didn’t even flinch at the loud voice. David looked up, taking in the details of the state of the room before his hand came down on Killian’s wet forehead.

“Fuck, you’re burning up!” David gasped, already moving around so he could carry the pirate to his bunk. “What have you been doing, mate?”

While David quickly took stock of the state of the cabin, the water trails on the floor coming from the small bathroom and the remains of the steam, he didn’t pay close attention to the appearance of his friend, to the still claw-like nails nor the shrinking fangs and more pointed than usual ears. After David got Killian to his bed, he went to open the small windows to let the fresh air in while looking for something to wipe him down with. But as he went to soak the clean rag with cold water, the prince realized that Killian must have emptied his water stock with the shower he took, the taps still open despite the lack of water. Cursing loudly, David walked back to Killian’s side and took a moment to decide what needed to be done first.

Obviously, the damn fever needed to be broken as fast as possible. The tremors coursing through the pirate’s body were not a good sign. In addition, he was also having difficulty breathing and was still soaking wet.

“Shit... You better be wearing something under those fucking jeans, Jones!” David grumbled, half closing his eyes as his hand reached for Killian’s belt.

Releasing the breath he’d been holding as he realized the pirate was indeed covered in that particular area, David finished undressing the pirate, cursing during the whole process before using the large towel he’d found on a chair to dry him off as best he could.

“This is fucking embarrassing. I swear Jones, if you live through this, I’m gonna kill you myself.”

Killian whimpered in response, but didn’t regain consciousness, his right hand grabbing the already clinging sheets. That’s when David spotted the blood covering his stump. He hadn’t noticed that the pirate had taken the brace off and he certainly hadn’t seen just how much damage there was. The skin of the stump was opening. Taking a deep breath and trying to hold down the bile he could feel rising at the sight and smell, David grabbed a smaller towel and wrapped it around the wound. His nose was fucking broken, yet it didn’t keep the horrible odor from hitting him full force. David took a step back as he realised he wouldn’t be able to handle everything on his own. He knew he would have to leave the pirate at some point if he wanted to bring water along with some medicine to help with the fever. That left David with only one option. His last resort. His hand reached in his back pocket, taking out and unlocking his phone as he waited for his wife to answer his call. 6:00 AM. _She was going to murder him_.

~/~

Mary Margaret had woken up in the middle of the night, realizing her husband had not yet returned. He had told her that he would be at the Rabbit Hole with Killian and that she shouldn’t wait up for him as chances were high the night would be long. But it was four in the morning and David wasn’t home, her phone without a single message. Looking at the clock and knowing she’d be unable to go back to sleep until she heard from him, she decided to go downstairs, make a hot chocolate, and send him a message. Thirty minutes later, there was still no answer from her husband. Taking a deep breath, Mary Margaret mentally began to review all the possibilities that would explain why David wasn’t answering his phone. There were, of course, horrible reasons, but there were also valid reasons that would explain why he wasn’t answering. They shared a heart, she would have known if something bad had happened to him, yet she couldn’t bring herself to go back to bed. Determined to wait for an answer, she sat on the sofa and wrapped the soft blanket around her shoulders and turned on the tv to some documentary about animals. She must have fallen asleep at some point as Neal’s cries brought her quickly to awareness. She looked in vain for a notification on her phone, her belly clenching before she started back toward her son’s bedroom.

She was just closing the door to the bedroom after settling Neal back down when she heard her phone ringing. As quickly and quietly as possible she walked to the phone, a relieved smile on her lips as she recognized David’s number.

“God, Charming, don’t do this to me again!”

“Mary Margaret, I- are you alright?”

“As good as I can be, knowing you didn’t answer any of my messages.”

“Oh, damn... I, I’m sorry Snow. I, I didn’t mean to...I...”

Mary Margaret closed her eyes, sensing something was wrong from David’s tone. It was 6am now, reprimands about the lack of communication overnight could wait until they were face to face.

“David? What is it?”

“I’m truly sorry, Snow, but, Killian he, I...we...I-I got a bit of a problem,” he stammered, “He, he’s injured and he’s running a high fever and I, I don’t think I can handle the situation on my own,” David explained, clearly panicking the more he talked.

“Okay, sweetheart.” She’d been ready to inform him that since he’d made her wait all night before letting her know anything, he would have to wait until a more decent hour before she’d be able to find someone to look after Neal, but if Killian was ill, there was no time to lose. “Let me call someone for Neal and I’ll be on my way.”

“Okay, good. I-I’m on his ship.”

“Okay, I’ll see you soon.” She was about to hang up when she heard him breathe in sharply.

“Mary Margaret, wait!”

“Yes?”

“I, we’re going to need fresh water but like _a lot_. The water container aboard the Jolly is completely dry. And bring the first-aid kit with you.”

“David, just how bad is Killian?” she demanded. She had a bad feeling about this.

“I, err I think the best thing is for you to see it yourself, it’s...umh. There’s... blood. A lot.”

“I’m coming.”

With that, Mary Margaret ended the call to dial Ruby’s number. With a bit of luck, she would already be awake and working with Granny. She was probably the only one who’d be able to get here in the next few minutes so she could get herself to the docks. David had sounded, well, _afraid_ when he told her about Killian, which was enough to scare her as well.

After getting off the phone with Ruby, she only had about five minutes before she’d arrive, Mary Margaret wondered if she shouldn’t have called Whale as well. _But then David could have done it himself if he was really needed_. Shaking her head, she went upstairs and grabbed the first-aid kit plus several more bandages in case the ones inside wouldn’t be enough. She grabbed the water packs in the garage and started to load up the back of the truck. Ruby arrived just as she was dragging the cooler full of ice. The two finished loading everything in the vehicle and with a quick kiss to Neal’s head, Mary Margaret thanked Ruby again before she hastily climbed in. The thing was huge and she rarely drove it. Taking a deep breath, she turned the key and tried to focus on arriving at the docks in one piece.

~/~

David paced in Killian’s cabin, waiting for Mary Margaret to arrive. As far as he could tell, Killian’s temperature had increased some, but it seemed to steady itself or at least it seemed that way to him. Taking someone’s temperature with only your own hands was anything but professional and precise. The pirate had continued to whimper and shiver, his knuckles white as he grabbed the sheet for dear life. David cursed again, wiping away the sweat from the pirate’s body, his eyes jumping to the saturated red towel around Jones’ left arm. He’d tried to tie a tourniquet above his wrist to slow the bleeding, but he wasn’t sure he had tied it tight enough for it to do the job. Fighting back the nausea, David kneeled next to the bleeding arm again, not daring to peel off the ruined towel. He wasn’t afraid of the blood, but the horrible smell made him feel light headed as soon as he was too close to the wound. Walking away, David looked over at his phone. Still no news from Mary Margaret. He cursed, Killian groaning in unison. _Served him right since he hadn’t_ _texted her to let her know what was going on_.

He finally heard running steps above. David grabbed a cutlass lying on the floor in a corner before he walked to the door of the cabin, prepared to attack, if needed. But it was only Mary Margaret. He let go of the weapon and wrapped her in his arms, holding her tight as he let himself relax now that she was here. He was as lost as could be and at the end of the day, he really didn’t want to have Killian’s dead body on his hands. Mary Margaret gasped at the sight of the unconscious Killian lying on his bunk, trembling from pain and who knew what else. David finally let her go, following her with his eyes as she approached Killian. He took a deep breath before joining her at his friend’s side.

“Oh my god, David.”

He squeezed Mary Margaret’s shoulder in comfort .

“We’re going to have to bring down the fever first. I brought water and ice. David, we should-”

“No, stay here sweetheart. I’ll go get the packs and ice okay? I, I don’t want to leave him alone while he’s in that state,” he admitted. Damn the pirate for burrowing his way into his heart.

She nodded and he kissed her head before running to the truck. He first took the ice and the first-aid kit, dropping them at the bottom of the stairs for Mary Margaret before he ran back again. Two trips later, everything was inside the room. Mary Margaret had taken Killian’s temperature with the thermometer and was already putting more ice inside a bag, making sure that Killian was surrounded with as many cold packs as possible to help his body cool down naturally. The pirate shuddered for a moment before a sigh escaped his mouth as he seemed to relax a bit with the change of temperature. Mary Margaret managed to get him to swallow some medication along with some water before she sat on a chair and rested a moment. David realised she had changed the towel around Killian’s left arm.

“Mary Margaret?” David waited for her to look up at him before he continued, “I, how’s the arm...I mean, is the wound-”

“It’s not as bad as I feared it would be after hearing you on the phone. But David I think we should call Dr. Whale about it. That skin should be long healed. It shouldn’t be bleeding again.”

“Could he have hurt himself with something? Or perhaps it’s some kind of...curse or something magical?” He didn’t know why, but he had the feeling that what was happening was magical in nature. He couldn’t explain why, he just felt it in his gut.

“I’m not a doctor, David.”

He didn’t know what to say to counter that. She was right. But he also didn’t know if Whale could help them all that much.

“Alright,” she sighed, resigned, reading him easily, “But David, if his state worsens, we’re taking him to the hospital.”

“Very well.”

They fell into silence, watching Killian as he slept, his head lolling to each side as he surely dreamed. David winced, thinking it couldn’t be anything pleasant, knowing how much pain he had to still be in. He was sure that once he slept, after Killian was safe, he too would have nightmares. The wounded man had truly frightened him back at the bar and right now as well, though for an entirely different reason.

“How about you tell me what happened, now.”

David looked stunned for an instant. Mary Margaret wasn’t looking at him, yet he could feel the judgment rolling off of her. He knew she would scold him about the lack of messages overnight, but not so soon, and certainly not here.

“Uhhh, what do you want to know, exactly?” She turned and David’s Adam apple bobbed as he swallowed hard.

“All about that brilliant night you two seemed to have had. And don’t you try to lie to me, Charming,” Mary Margaret warned, her face still calm.

“Well, I...”

But his explanation was cut short by Killian’s loud whimper. They both looked at the man who was now clearly in the throes of a nightmare, fighting against the cold packs wrapped around his limbs. Mary Margaret mumbled a curse before starting to take them off and check Killian’s temperature. It was slightly better, but Mary Margaret motioned for David’s help to refill the cold packs.

“ _No, Emma….no, please don’t_ …”

The couple looked at each other as they listened to Killian’s mumbled words, the same question swirling in their eyes. _Was it a memory? What was he seeing?_

“ _You have to f-fight_ …”

The Charmings resumed their task, ears tuned to Killian in case he said something useful. But what they heard wasn’t making much sense: rain that felt wrong, burning cold and pain. None of it seemed to fit their last moments with Emma. _That night the sky had been clear and he couldn’t remember the temperature, but it didn’t seem to be particularly hot or cold, even though the presence of the Dark One and the screams of the pirate did give him chills_. David passed his hand over his face, hissing in pain when he touched his nose. _Oh right, broken nose,_ he remembered.

Mary Margaret looked over at him. “Okay, that’s all we can do for him for now. David, come here so I can take a look at your nose.”

“It’s not necessary, darling. It was just a small punch. Nothing bad.”

She frowned at the mention of the fight and David feared he just blew his secret about what happened at the bar, a scene he really didn’t wish to get into with Mary Margaret. It would only make the already tense mood in the room worse. But again, the pirate saved his ass at the very last second. Mary Margaret turned her attention toward the bed, quickly filling a glass with water as Killian was struggling with a coughing fit. David came to stand at the end of the bed, a worried look on his face as his wife gave the pirate more water. He frowned as he saw the pirate’s blue eyes flutter open, before his eyes crossed and the man suddenly flinched away from Mary Margaret’s touch. His jaw clenched as a strong tremor rolled down his body. David was about to say something, but Killian started to whimper again.

“ _D-dav..id no, please...NO_!” Killian screamed in his nightmare, his body tensing before he lost consciousness again.

“David?” Mary Margaret asked, once she was sure Killian wouldn’t hurt himself.

David looked at the two people in front of him while his mouth hung open. _Damn it, mate! You’re not helping me._

“Listen, Mary Margaret, I...”

“No, David,” she interrupted, “If we want to keep him alive, I need to know what happened last night.”

Cursing, David bit his lip, shaking his head in frustration before the entire story spilled out of him.

“We were at the bar and everything was good. We were both happy and relaxed and we were about to call it a night, but then we kinda...drank one or two shots too much.” Mary Margaret stared at him, not surprised by the turn of events. “And then we, we sort of had an argument, Killian stormed away, and I found him passed out on the floor once I was able to enter the room.”

“Is that why the door frame is broken?”

“I, yeah, well, the pirate did lock himself inside. I had to take care of him!”

“Is that all?

“Yes.” _For now,_ David finished in his head. Perhaps once they had Killian out of danger he would say why Killian punched him. Because as much as he hated the pirate for what he’d said, he knew his own comportment wasn’t any better. The night could have ended very differently if he hadn’t been so drunk and stopped the pirate from going home on his own.

Mary Margaret wasn’t quite liking how David seemed to hold some information back from her but it would have to do for now. Whatever the cause of the argument was _-and she was sure that’s how David ended up with a broken nose_ -, it must have really upset both of them. Knowing how Killian had felt the past four weeks, she would bet her own hand it had triggered something in the pirate that somehow led him to this shocked state he was now in. And if they were as drunk as David said, they probably sweated profusely and coupled with a walk in the frigid night air, she wasn’t that surprised that the fever would suddenly spike. But that didn’t explain the bleeding arm. And that was what she was most concerned with. Killian always wore his leather brace, even when his hook wasn’t on it. She couldn’t imagine what could have happened that he took it off.

“David, did you look in the room and bathroom for any object that could have caused the wound?”

“I made a quick look, but nothing jumped out at me.”

“Alright, can you check again, please? I’m sure that with as drunk as you both were, you might have missed something.”

“Hey! I wasn’t as drunk as he was!” David contested, but she urged him to move. “Fine. But I’m sure I won’t find anything.”

Mary Margaret left him to his search and returned her attention to Killian. The towel around his wrist was soaked with blood and he was grunting again in pain, his forearm unable to stop from shaking. She winced and tore her gaze away from the deep red towel. David seemed to be searching diligently, but his hands remained empty.

“Alright, time to clean the wound and look for any clue that might be _on_ his skin.”

Unwrapping the end of his arm, Mary Margaret let out a high pitched yelp, horrified by the view. Her hands covered her mouth, dropping the towel on the floor.

“Mary Margaret? Snow, what is it?”

Tears were already blurring her vision as she simply shook her head. This was horrible. How could Killian survive this? How did that happen?

“Darling what- _Oh god_. I. Oh, _fuck-_ I- dear... I’m, I’m-” David tried to speak, but he sprinted outside the room.

Mary Margaret closed her eyes, trying to regain some control of her emotions. She heard David throw up outside and she had to hold her breath a moment to stop the nausea from overcoming her as well. She couldn’t describe the scene in front of her. There was too much blood. Now she knew why Killian was in so much pain and the fever was so high. His hand was somehow growing back, the simple thought making her gag, the pain filled moans coming out of Killian breaking her heart. They should have brought him to the hospital. But the last time she had checked his arm, nothing was there. How could it have become so horrible in so little time?

“Mary Margaret, I…” David trailed away, “What, what should we do? This is like… this has to be some kind of dark magic.” His breath came out in harsh pants as he came back to her side a few minutes later, avoiding the bloody mess at all cost.

“I, this isn’t supposed to be. We should call-”

“Regina? Mary Margaret, I don’t think we should. She’s taking care of Henry and unless Killian recalls something from Camelot, I don’t think she would be very pleased to come out this early on a Saturday morning to take care of...” The prince closed his eyes, not finding the strength to finish.

Mary Margaret dared to look back at the arm and then at Killian’s face. David was right. No matter who they called though, they would have to do something fast.

“Gold is not an option, so who else could help?”

“Blue!” Mary Margaret exclaimed, her eyes shining with hope. _Why didn't she think of the fairy earlier?_ “David, make sure Killian doesn’t move. I’m calling her right away.”

That was the last thing David wanted to be tasked with. He wasn’t sure he could trust his stomach to hold on.

“I’ll be quick, just keep your eyes on his face. I know you like him.”

She cracked a small smile, knowing the teasing would keep him occupied just the few seconds it would take to make the call. She was lucky, the fairy answered the call herself and told her she’d be there quickly and explained what they could do before she arrived.

“So?” David looked at her, pleading with his eyes for good news, like being sent from the room.

“She can’t tell what it is until she sees it herself. But she’s coming and asked that we try to clean it before she gets here.”

“How do you plan to clean... _this_?”

“Water will do. It’s the best for not hurting him anyway.”

But while Killian was mostly out of it because of the pain and fever, she and David were not so lucky and were forced to face the gore and endure Killian’s screams of agony. David held his breath, his eyes shining with tears and Mary Margaret quickly grabbed a basin and a new bottle of water.

“Okay, can you, David, can you hold him down?” she asked, knowing David wasn’t liking the prospect of the intervention, but she needed Killian still if she wanted to do it as quickly as possible.

The water did hurt Killian and David ended up having to straddle him so he could hold him down. With his right hand he held the pirate’s left bicep, his left hand keeping Killian’s right arm away from where Mary Margaret was trying to work. The pirate’s screams only quieted once Mary Margaret stopped pouring the water over the slimy limb, her hands shaking. The couple stayed in their positions to keep the pirate immobilized until he completely stopped thrashing under David. By chance, the next minute Blue was walking toward them, her eyes already focused on the bloody mess of Killian’s left arm.

“Good Lord! What happened?” she gasped, her hands hovering over Killian.

David looked at the fairy, stunned that she didn't even flinch away, while if he had to look at the limb again, he swore he’d have to run out again.

“That’s what we’ve been trying to figure out. There’s nothing inside the cabin that could have cut Killian’s arm and well, I’m sure _this_...is more magical anyway.” Mary Margaret said, her skin growing paler the longer she talked about Killian’s injury.

“Sadly, this isn’t quite magical.” Blue announced after she finished her inspection.

“How’s that possible?” David frowned.

“I can’t tell what instigated the change, but I know that some magical beings are endowed with such an ability, if I may say.”

“Wait, you mean like...lizards?” David asked, incredulous. He knew the animals were able to grow back tails that had been lost. But, last time he’d checked, Killian was a perfectly human, few hundred years old due to his time in Neverland, freaking pirate captain. But, that was all, there was no weird magical ancestor that he’d ever told them or Emma about. _Damn, Emma would have told them if her boyfriend was some magical creature, right?_

Mary Margaret rolled her eyes but Blue nodded at the prince.

“Well, my Prince, this isn’t exactly that, but you do have the general idea. The only way to know for sure would be to ask him directly or run some blood tests, though the process is rather long.”

“Alright. But what can we do right now to help him? He’s in so much pain.”

“Don’t worry, Snow. I’ll perform the spell to see if there's any answer hidden in his blood, as for now, I need to go back to the covent and prepare a balm to help him heal. It seems the bones and muscles are already back but the skin will take much more time to grow back.” She stopped as David heaved, before running for the bathroom.

“I’ll take care of him.” Mary Margaret cringed, trying to block out the sound of her husband retching.

“Very well. I should be back in about half an hour. Make sure he stays hydrated. Well, both of them, I should say.” The fairy looked at Mary Margaret apologetically.

“Thank you, Blue.”

The fairy smiled before she disappeared in a blue sparkling cloud. Mary Margaret took one last look at Killian who was shivering, his face crumpled in pain, his cheeks covered with dried tears. The sweat had broken out on his body again. His pained, rough breaths echoed in the room. As they remained steady though, she gently squeezed his shoulder, replacing the cold pack behind his neck and on his forehead before she walked over to the bathroom to see how David was faring.

“Are you feeling a little better, darling?”

“Yeah. I don’t think I have anything left anyway,” David said, his own voice hoarse.

“Come here,” Mary Margaret whispered, letting her man rest his head on her lap as she drew circles on his back to help him relax.

Surprisingly, the thirty minutes passed in the blink of an eye, the sun filtering through the small windows. Blue had brought them the balm and after helping Mary Margaret to apply it and bandage Killian’s left hand, the fairy gave her a potion, explaining that it would help the fever as well. The pirate would need to drink it every hour until he regained full consciousness, then three times per day after that until the hand was fully regrown and the fever broke. Mary Margaret thanked her warmly, returning to David’s side quickly when he groaned at the mention of Killian’s hand. They opened as many windows as possible, hoping to ventilate the cabin that stank of blood and sweat. Once that was accomplished, Mary Margaret called Ruby to check in with Neal, ending the call with a promise that they would stop by Granny’s to pick up their son and take out bags with their breakfast.

“Alright, we’re all good. Now we wait for Killian to wake up.”

“You should have gone home and taken care of Neal, sweetheart.”

“And let you deal with Killian alone?” Mary Margaret laughed gently. “David, after what I saw, I’m not leaving you alone with him. Having both of you passed out wouldn’t do anyone any good.”

David looked like he was thinking about protesting. After all, he was responsible, at least partially, for what had happened. But thinking about the blood, he sighed in defeat, knowing he wasn’t ready to face that anytime soon.

“Fine. But you’re going to sleep. I’ll make sure he drinks the potion.”

She looked at him, smiling knowingly and kissed his cheek before going to lay down on the cot they set up on the other side of the cabin, underneath the windows. It was close enough to Killian if he needed them, but also close enough to the fresh air outside the cabin to keep from feeling ill. As predicted, Mary Margaret opened her eyes one hour later to find David sleeping soundly against the wall. She chuckled and roused him enough to bring him to the cot, despite his complaints. He was already sleeping when she returned from Killian’s side.

~/~

Killian inhaled the fresh air, trying to move from the awkward position he found himself in before he coughed once again. The stench of his room was nearly overpowering. Opening his eyes with a grimace, Killian took a look at his cabin: the place seemed clean but he remembered it had been a complete mess when he first entered. Or perhaps he had been imagining everything. He groaned, feeling horrible with probably one of the worst headaches he’d ever had. Pushing himself up on his elbows after a few more seconds, Killian felt his arms throb at the weight put on them.

_Bloody hell. What the fuck happened?_

He couldn’t remember exactly what happened last night. All he recalled was going to the Rabbit Hole with Nolan for a fun night, and he dared to say he had actually enjoyed it. But then nothing, his mind was blank. He wasn’t too concerned though, as it was a regular occurance when he passed a night in a tavern when he’d been on an errand for Pan. Yet there was no denying that his heart was beating faster than it should have. With a frown, Killian pushed himself on his hands so he could sit up a little higher on the mattress. The motion made him realize that his legs were hella tangled with the wet sheet of his bed while weird icy packs made him jerk away from it, the cold making him shiver immediately. Then Killian realized something else wasn’t right. Where he usually had less balance on his left side from the lack of his hand, he was currently able to push himself up on both arms with equal strength. He breathed sharply through his nose as he brought the already shaking arm up in front of him. Half of his arm was covered with bandages, from the middle of his forearm to the tip of his-

Killian froze, his breath caught in his throat as his eyes slowly widened at the sight. A hand. At the end of his arm was a fucking _hand_.

“No…” Killian blinked, willing his body to wake up, but he was definitely wide awake and the hand was still there. “Nononono!”

His voice grew louder, his breath accelerating. Images of the same hand flashed in front of his eyes. The cursed hand the bloody crocodile had given back to him. But he made the deal, the infernal hand was gone forever, he almost died because of it! Staring at the bandaged hand, Killian felt his eyes sting with tears. This couldn’t be happening. He couldn’t have it back.

“NO!”

Killian screamed, his movements jerky as he tried his best to get rid of the bandages, wanting nothing else than to tear the flesh beneath it apart if it was the only way to get rid of the hand. But then strong arms wrapped around his chest, blocking his movement, sending him even deeper into the panic attack.

“LET GO OF ME!” He fought against his captor. The person gasped and loosened their grip for a brief instant, but Killian felt his strength slip away too quickly to try to take advantage of the opportunity. He also realised his skin was burning up, sweat already coating it.

“Killian, calm down! It’s okay! You’re safe!” Killian searched for the voice but his vision was blurry and he was hyperventilating, feeling like he would faint in a minute if he didn’t calm down. “Take deep breaths. In and out. Yeah, that’s it, just breathe, Killian.”

The gentle voice managed to calm him down after ten very long minutes. The room was plunged into silence and once his mind cleared, Killian was able to hear the soothing sound of the waves and sea life around the ship coming through the open windows. Opening his eyes, Killian realized Mary Margaret was sitting in front of him, holding his hand in hers. Then he felt the man behind him loosen his embrace enough for him to recognize David.

“What, what the hell are you two doing here?” Killian’s voice was laced with frustration at the trespassing into his personal quarters, but he mostly sounded breathless and exhausted.

“Killian, we’re here to help you.” Killian frowned, pushing Mary Margaret to ask, “What do you remember of your night, Killian?” The concern in her eyes felt strange to him, but the pain radiating through his body was too strong to be rebelled against.

“I, I remember going to the bar with the prince, but then nothing.” David huffed in a mix of pain and surprise. Killian groaned and gave him a light blow with his left elbow - _he wouldn’t tolerate any mockery from the man_ \- but the motion reminded him of the new appendage. “Bloody hell, I, what’s that?” Killian spat, his eyes fixed on the still bandaged hand that had started to bleed.

“Killian, we…” She looked up at her husband before looking back at the pirate. “David found you unconscious with high fever and by the time we started to take care of it, your hand…” She stopped, her gaze unsteady for a fraction of second. “It grew back.”

Grew back.

Killian started at her, then at the hand.

_How could this thing simply grow back?!_

“How? Is this some kind of trick?” Killian growled. _This couldn’t be real._

“It is not. Now unless you have some magical ancestor that we don’t know about…” David answered casually.

This time it was his wife who hissed back at him while Killian was back to being lost in his mind, trying to comprehend how a full member could naturally grow back after being cut off. _Bloody hell, he had lived with the healed stump for hundreds of years, why would it change now?_

“Killian, look at me.” Mary Margaret grabbed back his hand, _hands_ , in hers. “You’ve been in so much pain since I arrived and I swear to you, I saw your hand grow back. This isn’t a trick or a dream. We asked for Blue’s help and she confirmed it isn’t a spell or a curse.”

Killian was speechless at the revelation. His fucking hand had regenerated itself. And to answer David’s question, he did NOT have any weird magical ancestor. His father was a bloody coward and his mother was the most beautiful woman on earth a young lad could ever see, but there were no magical genetics that he knew about. Thinking about it now made him shiver. _Could it be possible that he wasn’t just human anymore?_

“David can you bring me the water and potion, please?”

“Potion?” Killian asked, sharply. His heart beat wildly in his chest, he wasn’t exactly in the mood for any magic.

“Yes, but don’t worry. It’s simply to help the skin fully heal and stop your fever,” Mary Margaret explained, giving him the glass with a smile.

Killian eyed the beverage suspiciously before finally taking it. He did feel the fever slowly eating the rest of his energy and his body was definitely sore. Perhaps he should agree to some helping hand, he didn’t wish to be stuck in here. The taste wasn’t that unpleasant and once he emptied the glass, Killian felt his eyelids become heavy and a yawn escaped his mouth. David had disappeared from the room leaving him alone with Snow.

“You need to rest, Killian.”

He nodded and reluctantly accepted her help to settle back into his bed, only because he was still shaken by the apparition of his left hand and the fact that all his muscles turned to liquid when he tried to use them fully.

“Oh, and Killian?” He peeled his eyes open, frowning at the serious face Mary Margaret was giving him. “From now on, I want you to come home for each meal. You’re not staying on your own any more than necessary. It’s not up for discussion.” She said that as if she knew he would need their help to confront the fact that Emma was still missing.

_Well, you did tell her about it, mate._

Killian tried to answer but she gave him a pointed look and he simply nodded before she whispered a good night and he let himself fall back into the quiet darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sadly we must leave Killian into the arms of Morpheus for another week, but trust me, he will need as much rest as he can! 
> 
> Also good news for yo all! I'm almost done with the story, only the final chapter left to write (supposed to be the epilogue but considering the lengh of the ch7, the epilogue will be turned into a chapter lol), meaning as soon as its done, I'll be posting a new chapter each week! :D


	4. Chapter III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Killian’s got his hand back but he will soon discover it is not the only thing that changed...Also, some Emma’s news for you all! lol

It took three days for the pain caused by the new limb to fade, but thankfully the fever was long gone before then. Still, Killian didn’t know how to handle the return of his left hand. He had lived centuries without it and after the more recent misadventure with the bloody crocodile, he had made his mind up that he didn’t need it to win Emma’s heart. She loved him just as he was, _with_ his wounds and scars.

 _Bloody hell. She said she loved me_.

He hoped it wasn’t just because she was about to lose him. Once he remembered more about Camelot, perhaps he would have an answer to that incertitude. For now, he was left to deal with the damn hand and the speculation of why it had grown back. He would also have to wait to know for sure about that too. So Killian focused on being patient and returning to the normalcy of the life he had, helping Belle and David. And just as Mary Margaret had ordered, he was spending most of his free time with the Nolans and he couldn’t deny that it helped to ease the pain created by the lack of Emma’s presence.

Days turned into weeks and Storybrooke had stayed strangely peaceful.

Well, peaceful was perhaps too nice a word to describe the situation: in the two weeks that had passed since the bar incident, there had been some sort of disturbance. Groups of miscreants defacing storefronts and uninhabited houses. Nothing big enough that would have earned them the title of “bad guys,” but they weren’t simple thieves either and it took more than a few unofficial police visits to handle them; David and his team took care of it easily, unaware of the darker orchestration behind the nuisance. But as fast as the perturbation came it disappeared, leaving the hero team to deal with their still unsolved problem: finding Emma, bringing her back and saving her once and for all. In between all of this, the blood test Blue had run on Killian came back clean. Killian had zero traces of strange genetics that would have explained the regrowth of his left hand. Mary Margaret had secretly asked Granny to look at Killian, knowing her wolf senses might be able to detect something unusual, but the old wolf couldn’t feel anything that wasn’t human in the pirate. That left them without an explanation for the regrowth of the left hand, but at least they were certain that it wasn’t magic. Killian appeared to be fine with that fact, making it a little bit easier to trust the regrown limb.

And to be honest, he was glad he didn’t have to worry about that little detail anymore as Henry asked him if they could have another excursion aboard the Jolly Roger, something that Killian couldn’t have denied the boy. After all, it was that excursion that brought back most of Killian’s memories from Camelot.

The day’s weather had been promising and everything had gone smoothly. Towards the end of their trip however, while they were still far from the shore, the wind had started to gain in strength. As the _hell of a Captain_ he was, Killian had quickly sensed the storm coming their way and made to hurry their return. They were barely entering the harbor when the heavy rain had finally started to fall, leaving the wooden deck of the Jolly slippery in a matter of moments. Killian would have handled it alright on his own but his attention had been divided between making sure the Jolly entered the harbor safely despite the choppy sea, and keeping his eyes on Henry who hadn’t yet mastered sailing in such conditions. Of course, the accident that was bound to happen, happened at the worst possible moment.

One of the pulleys from the mast broke off and swung down dangerously, straight towards Henry’s head after he slipped directly into its path. Killian’s muscles acted before he could think or warn Henry of the incoming threat and he lunged over the railing that was separating him from the lad, pushing Henry out of the way. The pulley connected with his own head instead before he fell to the wet deck below. Killian should have been worried about what had happened. He had been too far away from Henry. Even with his experience in stormy weather and the regular agility he possessed, he shouldn’t have been able to save the lad. But he did. Though the concern about the normally impossible reflex had quickly been drowned out by the sharp pain echoing through his skull. He remembered Henry screaming his name in panic but Killian had been too stunned to open his eyes, let alone push himself from the deck. As he had felt himself sway between the beckoning darkness of unconsciousness and the present moment, his mind had suddenly been filled with unfamiliar, yet perfectly clear scenes.

 _Memories!_ Killian gasped, realizing he was actually remembering things.

After they played themselves out, Killian awkwardly got up with Henry’s help and made sure they docked safely, mooring the Jolly tightly so she resisted the rest of the storm. Once secured on solid ground, Killian let his thoughts rush back to the vivid pictures. King Arthur, the welcoming ball, the Savior prophecy, bloody Merlin, Emma fighting the Darkness’ manifestation, the ride to the Middlemist field, their shared kiss, the Darkness tempting her all over again, Merlin leading Emma to the magical fire, her success, Emma telling him that she wanted a future with him and Henry in the house they had found and then nothing. The memories stopped there. But it had been a huge improvement since he had regained consciousness all those weeks ago.

When they told Regina about them, _Her Majesty_ hadn’t been satisfied, but at least Henry had been when he had shared the news with him once they'd dried off and gotten warm in the Charming’s loft. Killian still hated the fact the lad had almost been hurt under his watch. But now that he had most of his memories back, things were easier to deal with. His heart was still missing Emma like hell, but his mind seemed to have found a bit of peace. Thanks to that improvement, he’d been able to relax more while working at the police station. On her side, Belle had stopped the research momentarily as nothing new was discovered during all those weeks and Killian couldn’t stop her from taking a break just as she had asked him to do.

It wasn’t long before the supernatural reflexes manifested again. Killian was waiting for David to join him for patrolling, his body leaned against the car as he took a moment to close his eyes and enjoy the warmth of the sun dancing against his skin. A split second later, a screeching sound caught his attention. He snapped his eyes open, quickly looking for the source of the noise. A little ways down the street, a vehicle was moving almost in slow motion, heavy smoke coming from under the hood. The driver was apparently losing control of the car as he was on a collision course with a bloody pedestrian beginning to cross the road, his eyes riveted to the small screen in his hand. Killian cursed loudly before he sprinted as fast as he could to try to prevent the imminent accident. With what could only be described as enhanced reflexes, Killian grabbed the young man by the collar, dragging him toward himself and spinning them so he was protecting him with his body from a potential collision. Killian could feel the car passing just an inch away from his back before it collided with a street lamp. Everything stilled as Killian watched the pedestrian he’d just saved, take off his ear phones before facing his savior, his white-with-shock face staring at him. Killian let go of him, stepping back as he tried to bring his own breathing under control.

“What the fuck, man? How did you-”

Killian only stared back at the pedestrian, equally stunned stupor on his face. _How_? His brain was too focused on the rush of the adrenaline lingering in his body. _How did he manage to do any of this?_ Thankfully, David arrived just in time, saving him from the awkward situation. The driver was out of the dead car and was already apologizing to the pedestrian.

No one questioned Killian’s role in the rescue as David took the situation in hand. Which was great because he had no idea how it had happened again, not that anyone but Henry and himself knew about the incident aboard his ship. But Killian knew he would have to face the question about his strange behavior at some point and deep down he knew the sooner the better if he wanted things to go easily: last time his temper had become weird for too long, he ended up with a high fever and a new hand. Whatever was happening with his reflexes wasn’t normal and he didn’t particularly wish to end up being the center of the heroes attention all over again without being able to defend himself.

A few days later, Killian realized he had other things to take care of before he could find the how and the why of his sharp reflexes anyway. His temper was becoming unstable all over again. He found himself easily irritable and pissed off for nothing with a constant exhaustion on top of that. David was the first to be on the receiving end of his foul temper.

“Wow, seriously Hook, what’s gotten into you? You’re just as touchy as Snow when she has her period!” the prince teased.

“And you’re being a dick!” Killian snapped back, glaring at the man.

He was doing his best to contain the building pressure inside of his chest, but enough was enough. The filing project he had at hand- whoever was normally in charge in the department either didn’t know how to read correctly or had a serious disability- was starting to work him up and he was in no mood for his superior’s joke. The way the color drained from David’s face after his outburst filled him with shame. He was being a jerk towards his friend. _Again_. David hadn’t detailed what happened at the bar when they were both drunk, but he knew that he had behaved like an ass. Watching David flinch away when he tried to calm himself down by clutching his hands at his sides just brought it all back to mind.

“I... Sorry, Dave. I didn’t mean…”

“It’s okay!”

“No, it is not! I shouldn’t be rude with you! This is just like four weeks ago!” Killian groaned, trying to understand why he was so moody.

“Well, it’s almost the full moon, mate. You wouldn’t be the first person on earth being tense because of the cycle.” David tried to ease the tension, though he was still a bit reticent to approach the pirate while he hadn’t totally cooled off.

“Is it?” Killian was so focused on Emma and his state that he hadn’t even taken into account the moon cycle. His emotions weren't exactly connected to the moon, but it had happened in the past. And it would explain a lot of his irritation.

“Yeah.” David chuckled before speaking in a more serious tone. “I promise I won’t tease you like that again, until you feel better.”

“Aye. Anyway, we still have that bloody thing to finish mate,” he reminded David. He didn’t ask for different treatment just because he was more irritable than usual.

“Alright, alright!” David threw his hands up before going back to his computer.

Killian rolled his eyes, shaking his head while another wave of irritation washed over him. He knew David was trying his best and wasn’t doing anything to annoy him on purpose but his nerves were so close to the surface, that anything his mate said today would have slowly eaten away at his energy and sense of calm. Closing the file cabinet in front of him a bit more forcefully, Killian left the room grumbling. That earned him another questionable look from David before he was out of the room. Heading for the archive section, Killian knew he would be able to focus on his work without being distracted by the other people present at the station, and maybe get some of his serenity back. The less he spoke to others, the better it would be for the ambiance of the station. His mood was shitty enough that he didn’t want to spoil the day for the rest of the group.

* * *

Killian would have thought that after a few days his mood would go back to being better, yet here he was, sitting on the crow’s nest of the Jolly while sipping rum from his flask. His mood hadn’t worsened, but tonight, he was broody as hell. He also was supposed to go to the Charming’s loft for dinner, but didn’t wish to annoy the couple or their little prince with his bad temper. With a long snort, Killian took another swig of the burning alcohol, his eyes lost into the horizon.

“Hook? Permission to come aboard?”

Frowning, Killian turned as best as he could on the small platform to see who had spoken. He wasn’t terribly surprised to see that it was Henry waiting for the invitation to come aboard. With a small chuckle, Killian stored away the flask before making his way down.

“Permission granted,” he answered, as his bare feet touched the still warm wood of the deck.

“Killian! What are you still doing here?” the lad asked, as he came to stand a few feet in front of the captain, genuinely confused to see him in such relaxed attire.

“Still?” Killian frowned. He didn’t recall that the lad was coming to the Charming’s tonight. Why would he ask him that question?

“Aye,” Henry replied, in a passable attempt at his accent, “Grandpa told me you haven’t answered his calls.”

 _Ah, so he is coming to the loft_. That was making things a tad more complicated.

“Let me guess, he’s the one who asked you to come check on me?” Killian huffed, half teasing and half complaining about the potential request of the prince.

“Actually no, I decided to come on my own,” Henry said with a grin. “Soooooo, you’re almost ready to come back with me or should I tell Grandpa that you'll be late?”

Killian weighed his choice. He wasn’t sure he was in the right mood to come to the family dinner, not to mention that he’d already had a few drinks. But at the same time, the lad seemed quite excited to have him as part of the evening and he would hate to disappoint him by not coming along, if that was the case.

“Would it really make you happy if I came?” Killian asked.

“Yes,” the boy assured him. “Of course, I’m always happy to see you. Plus everyone’s going to be there, Grandpa, Grandma and Mom,” the boy explained with a smile, though Killian took a sharp breath at the mention of Regina.

“Regina is there too?”

“Yeah, but it’s okay, I’ll make sure she doesn’t bother you.” Henry gave him a wink before looking expectantly at him for his answer.

“Alright lad, just give me a moment to make myself presentable.” Killian answered with a small chuckle.

“YES!” Henry cheered. “I’ll wait here then!”

Killian smiled at the enthusiasm of the young man before going down below to change clothes. If Her Majesty was to join the supposed quiet evening with just the Charmings, he’d better look good. He didn’t need the woman’s commentary on his appearance in addition to her usual comments. He also hoped David would behave and doesn't bring up his mood from the past few days. But for the sake of the boy’s happiness, Killian swore to himself he would be the perfect gentleman and make sure nothing strange happened while he was inside the loft.

Suddenly, Killian heard Henry’s frightened voice calling for him. He hoped this wasn’t a portent for how the entire evening would go. Quickly coming back to the staircase, Killian listened carefully to the sound, noticing the deep growls mixed with Henry’s pleading voice as he was trying to calm whatever was in front of him. Killian slowed down his steps, wanting to see what he had to face before coming out of the shadows below deck. When his eye level was high enough, Killian clenched his jaw as he saw the wild looking dog that was dangerously close to Henry, its back arched as its jaws snapped at him. Henry looked terrified despite trying to handle the situation as calmly as he could to avoid triggering the beast to attack. Killian focused all his attention on the slowly approaching animal, his protective instincts focused on the boy, who had begun to shake with fright. His appearance on deck seemed to agitate the creature even further. He stepped next to the lad, gently pushing him behind himself without allowing his concentration on the dog to waver. Despite the tense situation, Killian didn’t feel an ounce of fear while he faced down the stray animal. When the dog was at arm’s length, Killian stopped and kneeled down, fixating on the animal’s eyes. It broke out into frenzied barking, preparing to attack. Henry’s anxious voice became muffled as Killian’s face came dangerously close to the crazed animal. His back to Henry, the lad didn’t see the way the pirate’s eyes shifted from blue to a bright yellow as a deep groan resonated through Killian’s chest. The dog suddenly submitted to Killian’s will before it ran off the deck, yelping.

“W-wowwww….how, how did you do that?” Henry’s voice was filled with awe.

Blinking several times, Killian came back to his senses. He didn’t truly understand what had happened, one moment he was stepping between the boy and the wild dog, the next he was watching as it all but flew away.

“I...I faced a situation like that when I was younger,” he answered, trying to find a way to explain what had just occurred to the lad. He needed to think of something plausible. Then he remembered a time when he and Liam were in the Navy when he had asked his brother, who was also his captain, if he could bring a black dog he had found to the ship. “I, I found a wounded dog once when we were in port. The poor animal was looking dangerous, but he was simply scared and wounded. You need to find the reason behind their behavior to find the key to handle them.”

“Really? Wow…” Henry still looked a bit shaken by his experience, but he quickly shook his head and smiled at him. “Well thank you for making it leave Killian. I, I didn’t know what to do and then it started to become aggressive and I-”

“It’s alright, lad. The dog is gone and you’re safe, that’s what matters.” Killian reassured the boy, gently grabbing him by the shoulder and giving him a light squeeze. “Now if I recall, you were supposed to drag me to that family dinner!” Killian teased and it was enough for Henry to grin at him and for them to start making their way to the center of town.

* * *

So far the evening was going well, no weird behavior in sight or sharp comments said. David had only lightly teased him for his lateness but that was quickly forgotten as Henry started talking about his day, entertaining everyone inside the house. Surprisingly, the queen hadn’t said a word, though Killian could feel her gaze lingering on him every now and then. Her quiet scrutiny did nothing but raise the tension within him as the evening progressed. As if these looks were the first signal, his oversensitivity to sounds was showing itself again as well, leaving him to try and block out all the small unfamiliar sounds he was hearing since the dinner started: chewing, silverware clinking together or against the dinnerware. He tried his best not to focus on all the details assaulting his senses but his brain kept telling him, insistently, that it wasn’t normal, that he wasn’t supposed to notice half these things. Despite all his efforts, Killian felt he was slowly drowning under all... this. He knew it wouldn’t be long before someone noticed the way his head kept twitching each time his ears picked up something or the way his eyes flitted around the room, never landing on something for long. Luckily for him, it was David. Still, when the man’s hand touched him, Killian couldn’t suppress a small jump. Of course, that drew everyone’s attention to his tense posture.

“You okay there, mate? You look a bit pale,” David gently asked, his touch lingering on Killian’s arm.

“Aye. I’m just a bit tired from the day, Dave. Don’t worry about me.” Killian waved off the prince’s worry with a tired smile, quickly focusing back on keeping himself together.

The prince’s action had startled him more than he would have liked, his heartbeat accelerating for a few more seconds as the first bead of sweat slid down his back. _This isn't the moment to break, mate_. Biting the inside of his cheek, Killian took a deep breath and focused back on the conversation. His attention was easily pulled back to the present, yet he couldn’t suppress the rest of his anxiety. His left hand was balling into a fist under the table, resting on his lap as his legs started to bounce. Five painful minutes passed before he could start to calm down from the previous bout of panic, however Regina was back to eyeing him with a frown. He did his best to relax his shoulders and smile a little more at what was being said, but the queen beat him by finally asking about the event he really didn’t want to talk about, certainly not here, nor in his current state.

“So, Hook. Henry told me about the last time you two went sailing.” She looked at him with a fake smile that he was pleased to throw right back at her. “It’s really nice of you to take my son out on your boat, though I would prefer that you consider his safety a little bit more next time.”

“Oh, but I assure you, _Your_ _Majesty_ , Henry was and is quite safe under my watch,” Killian bit out with a smile. He knew what she was going to talk about. The little pulley incident. That incident was clearly fine, as he had been the one hurt. Not the boy.

“I hope so. I mean, next time you might not be fast enough to push him out of danger.”

“Mom!”

Henry looked at his mother with a mixture of shock and annoyance, while Killian looked more like he’d been caught red handed in misdeeds, all previous snark erased from his face. It wasn’t like the queen had revealed a secret, but Killian had hidden that bothersome detail from Henry’s grandparents, not wanting to worry them even more as Mary Margaret had been fussy enough about the small cut and bruise the pulley had left on the back of his head. And now everyone at the table was staring expectantly at him. Henry was clearly sorry, chewing his lips as Killian sensed the lad was trying to find a way to get him out of the sticky situation. The corner of his lips twitched up, trying to force a discreet smile to the lad, hoping Henry would understand he didn’t have to feel sorry for his own mistake. If he had told David and Mary Margaret himself, they wouldn’t be looking at him now with that look.

“Oh, did you know there’s some stray dog around the docks, Grandpa?”

Henry’s statement had Killian choking on his water. Coughing as quietly as possible, Killian avoided meeting anyone’s eyes. ‘ _Bloody hell, lad, that was another subject to avoid._ ’ Killian cursed in his mind, hoping the situation wasn’t totally out of control, but he feared his sudden coughing fit had finally discredited him in the eyes of his friends. Just thinking of that, he felt his face get warmer, the spot behind his ears tingling, but Killian fought the urge to scratch it. And while he had hoped to intervene early enough in the discussion to reroute the subject, David overruled him and was already pressing for more information about the stray animal. Of course he would, he was the bloody sheriff and Henry was his grandson. There was no way to close the subject. There was no escaping what had happened at the docks. Killian was so lost in his internal debate, that he was unaware that he had started to hyperventilate while the subtle shiver running down his spine transformed into a full trembling.

“Killian?”

Closing his eyes, he tried to conceal all his rampaging emotions deep down within himself, while Mary Margaret’s flood of questions retreated as an ominous murmur in the background. He needed silence. He had to get out and calm down before he exploded.

“ -are you alright? Do you need something? Killian, please tell -”

“I’M FINE!” he yelled back at the woman, his head shooting up.

There was dead silence after that. All eyes were on him as he pushed himself up from his chair that fell to the floor, his two balled hands resting on the table. Suddenly, Killian realized his breathing was too loud for someone pretending to be fine. He was already trying to come up with a plausible excuse when Neal’s cries echoed in the loft. His mother, who had been staring at him, quickly stood up and went upstairs. He and David followed her with their eyes before everyone’s gazes were back on his shivering body.

“Killian, I-” Henry tried to talk, but his fragile voice broke under the emotion.

That was it. He had ruined the evening. He knew he should have stayed on his ship tonight. Why did the lad have to come for him? Pushing himself away from the table, Killian took a few steps backward while his eyes were still on the lad. Regina was up as well, already lecturing the lad about “the pirate” and “shouldn’t have brought him.” It was too much for Killian to bear.

“I, I’m sorry Henry. I sh- should go…” Killian stammered, Henry’s gaze drifting to him before Regina brought her son’s attention back to her.

Killian moved toward the door, his eyes unfocused as David came to stop him, simply planning to brush Killian’s arms with his hands, but Killian jerked away before he could.

“No! Don’t touch me!”

It was something he had said too much recently, but unlike the other times, his voice was more fearful than aggressive.Yet it was enough to make David freeze and even take a step back. That caused Killian to panic even more. His friend was afraid of him. There was no doubt. The question was why, exactly. The soft voice of Mary Margaret drew his attention away from David, and his own questions about his mate’s behavior.

_“Your left hand is bleeding!”_

Killian slowly raised his clenched fist, breaking the stare with David, to inspect the hand. Trickles of blood were slowly running down his skin from his palm. Frowning, Killian relaxed his fingers enough to see what was causing the bleeding, but he quickly closed his hand again at the view of the claw like nails. The sharp stinging coming from the wound finally registered as a memory suddenly flashed in front of his eyes. The scene was eerily similar, his wet hand shaking as claws grew. It was from the last full moon, after he’d punched David and had returned to his ship and right before he’d lost consciousness. The flash ended and Killian quickly closed his eyes, shaking his head.

“Killian?”

_Right, Mary Margaret._

“It’s, it’s okay. It’s just a scratch from earlier. On the Jolly,” he mumbled as everything around him became fuzzy. _It’s all happening again_. “I’ll get out. I’ll text you once I’m home.”

With his goodbye made, Killian turned his back to the rest of the family and grabbed the door knob, doing his best to get out of the loft quickly, without alarming the rest of the occupants. Unfortunately, the banging door behind him told him he hadn’t been entirely successful in his endeavor. He would have liked to apologize for that, but he certainly wasn’t going back to do so. As long as they didn’t follow him, he’d be fine. He held his left hand close to his chest as he ran under the glow of the full moon. Everything he had forgotten was rushing back inside his head, making his throat constrict. No wonder David was afraid and distant whenever he’d gotten angry. He had hurt his feelings before he had hurt him physically. By the time he jumped aboard the Jolly Roger, Killian’s eyes stung with tears that he pushed away before slamming the repaired door of his cabin shut but didn’t close all the way, jumping open due to the force with which he had pushed it closed to begin with. Though Killian couldn’t care less about that. His head was spinning dangerously and even the air pressure against his skin was a torment. He hastily took off his shoes before climbing on his bunk. Recalling his hasty promise to David, Killian sent a one word text, _home,_ to the prince before throwing his phone toward his desk. He overshot his intended destination and the phone landed on an open trunk with a thud. Ignoring the device’s fate, Killian grabbed the woolen blanket folded at the end of the bed instead and curled in on himself. He buried his head in his pillow as the blanket gently rested over his body, giving him some sense of protection.

Now that he was sure he was alone and no one would come after him, Killian tried to see through the panic attack, though without much success. He started to rock himself to sleep, his hands pressed against his middle in hopes of stopping the change, knowing sleep was the only thing that would make the night end. His ragged and uneven breathing continued until everything went black.

_He came back to his senses with a loud gasp. His lungs continued their jerky intake of air until his brain finally settled and ordered the rest of his being to calm down. Everything around him was black and he realized he couldn’t move from the position he was in. He was so focused on figuring out his surroundings that he missed the voice the first time it called for him. But it reappeared, closer to him and his ears tried to focus on the feminine voice once it disappeared into the darkness._

_“Swan...”_

_Her name slipped past his lips, the sound of his voice nearly snuffed out by the blanketing darkness. He heard his name again and Killian was sure it was his Swan that spoke._

_“Swan? Swan!”_

_The darkness continued to swallow every sound he made. Killian frowned, a shiver running down his spine as he tried to call her again. And again. And again. There was no response. She was nowhere to be found, her voice echoing from time to time in the darkness. Time held little meaning, but he knew it had been quite a bit since Killian opened his eyes and the wicked game started. An hour, maybe more? His body was filled with dread, panic threatening to overcome him everytime he called for her without an answer. Finally, he felt a rush of air tousle his raven locks as he turned on his heels, facing the movement, only to be met with nothing._

_“Swan? Swan is that you?”_

_A distant laugh answered him and Killian found himself starting to move blindly, trusting his guts to navigate him in the complete blackness of the place he’d woken up in._

_“Bloody hell, what is this infernal game?” Killian groaned, turning around again in hopes of seeing something or hearing the voice again._

_Realizing the futility of his actions, the familiar warmth of anger slowly invaded his chest. Killian did his best to conceal his growing agitation. Something told him this was some sort of evil hide and seek, a game where he was the mouse and the cat was lurking somewhere in the dark, waiting for the right moment to lurch out of hiding and pounce on its prey. The giggle rang once more in his ears and Killian jumped away, all senses on high alert as he tried to ascertain the location of his tormentor. Then a flash of white on his left caught his attention._

_“EMMA!”_

_His cry echoed through the space and for the first time he received a real answer. It was her voice, her soft laugh, her hair flashing just a few meters away from him. His heart raced, accelerating as he called for her once more while running toward her last apparition. It was clear she was playing with him, but after looking for her for so long in the waking world, he was a desperate man. He couldn’t care if it was a trap, he needed to catch her. Another flash of white appeared in his periphery. He moved swiftly in that direction, but his hands grabbed nothing but air. He was sure that he had missed again, but was pleasantly surprised to find a small piece of fabric within his left hand. With a wide smile, Killian brought the treasure closer to his face, allowing himself to enjoy the happiness flooding him, even for a brief moment. Inhaling deeply, Emma’s scent invaded his nose and throat. Basking in the warmth it gave, his eyes snapped open at her voice calling his name. She had disappeared into the darkness again and he couldn’t hear her anymore. Killian thought he had lost her for good when he realized his sharp olfaction was already honing in on her unique aroma that surrounded him. This was pretty new to him but it might be his only chance to find her again. Closing his eyes, Killian began to track her, sniffing the air until he found her scent. He began to run toward the source, the smell becoming stronger as he got closer._

_“Took you long enough, pirate.”_

_Killian opened his eyes, the sight of Emma sitting under a tree seemingly surreal to him. He took a tentative step in her direction before stopping again, frowning at the vision in front of him. The darkness that he stood in came to an end just a few feet in front of her._

__

_“Killian? Is everything alright?” she asked, her sweet voice laced with worry. “Why aren’t you coming?”_

_Killian stared at her, forcing himself to breathe despite the fact that her presence was stealing every bit of oxygen from his body. His lips moved as he tried to speak, but he just couldn’t form a single word. Is that really you, love? He wanted to ask but he couldn’t bear it if she answered in the negative. So he simply swallowed back the lump forming inside his throat._

_“Come on, Jones,” she commanded him and his stupid legs obeyed until he was standing in front of her. Her deep green eyes looked at his face, as if she was cataloging every detail she could find until her soft and warm hands came to glide against his skin, erasing the concern written all over his face. Then her own frown deepened before she breathed, “You look so tired, Killian...What happened to you?”_

_His body shivered, wanting to hold her in his arms and erase any trace of concern she may have had toward his lost soul, but he couldn’t find the strength to move on his own. So she smiled at him, leaving a kiss on his cheek, right above the small scar and then tugged on his arm until he was following her to sit on the soft grass. She guided his head so it could rest on her lap and slowly let her fingers comb through his dark locks._

_“You need to rest, Killian. I’ll be here when you wake up, don’t worry. We'll talk later.”_

_He wanted to fight the sudden heaviness of his body and the way his thoughts clouded. After two long months of missing her, he was finally somehow with her and here she was bloody suggesting that he rest. The last thing he wanted to do was waste his time with her. But the small movements of her fingers against his scalp and face, combined with her presence, filled him with peace and he quickly found himself fully relaxing under her ministrations. His eyes closed against his will, as he finally let himself drift away, her scent carrying him to a deep sleep._

* * *

It had barely been an hour since he arrived at the station that morning and he was drowning in the calls from all over town. David was alone to deal with all of it. Mark was supposed to help this morning, but he called out sick and Jones wasn’t here yet. Pulling out his cell, while the station phone showed him some mercy, David grumbled at the lack of communication from the pirate. He could have at least texted him if he expected to be late. The pirate did text him last night after dinner, just before he was about to slip on his boots and run to the ship to make sure the man was okay. But it wasn’t enough. _Perhaps he wasn’t okay, and that’s why he was fucking late?_ David needed to see the man alive and in one piece, or without any new addition, with his own eyes to be sure he was okay and that what happened last night had just been about the man being excessively tired and moody because of the full moon. Killian’s contact information barely popped-up on the screen when the damn station phone rang again. Cursing under his breath, David decided to simply set an alarm on his phone for one hour. If in one hour Killian hadn’t shown his face at work, he would go see the pirate for himself. Taking a deep breath, David steeled himself and picked up the phone.

Time flew by and before he knew it, the alarm David had set went off. Finishing the call he was on, David scrutinized the main street from between the metallic blinds, looking for the pirate but the man was nowhere to be seen. Hanging up, David took a moment to regroup, his hands massaging his temples. Jones still hadn’t shown up or sent him a message and that just wasn’t like him. In addition, it appeared the stray dog Henry had talked about the previous night had been roaming the streets all night, scaring a few inhabitants and causing minor damage to fences. Nothing had been reported around the harbor yet, but knowing it was where Henry and Killian had seen the animal, it was a good place to start his investigation and he would be able to check on his friend and talk to him about the catastrophic dinner from last night. Jumping inside his truck, David set off for the docks, a smile on his lips as his ears enjoyed the silence of the vehicle. The ringing of the station phone was the worst when working almost non-stop and he would have really liked to have his mate to help him take the calls.

David arrived at the docks a few minutes later, parking near the place where the Jolly was moored. He was already relaxing a bit as he spotted the silhouette of his friend up in the sails of the ship, probably working on something. David was about to curse the fact that the pirate had taken a day off without notifying him, but then he remembered that Killian wasn’t exactly working as an official police officer. He couldn’t really be pissed off by the absence of the man this morning, but he would have preferred to be warned so he could call in some backup to fill in for the absence of the two employees. Wanting to keep his cover believable, David took a look around first, trying to find any trace of the stray dog. Now that he was closer to the moment where he would speak with Killian, David became aware of his increasing agitation. He didn’t know exactly how to feel or behave toward the man anymore. He had thought he was okay with what happened last night, but it appeared it had shaken him more than he thought. The evening had ended in disaster and David couldn’t shake the doubts that Regina’s words had raised as he started to walk toward the gangplank, trying to shake the tension off his shoulders.

‘ _I would deal with the pirate with care, Nolan. Something about his behavior feels off._ ’

This wasn’t anything new. They already knew that. Did Regina really think they hadn’t worried about it the first time? When he had found the pirate with a new hand and high fever after his behavior had changed so much since he had woken up from his coma? They’d already done extensive research and tests to try and find out what was going on and everything came out clean. Well, the new hand remained a mystery, but it hadn’t ended up in the “bad” category. David stopped in front of the plank, shaking the thoughts and doubts out of his head. If Regina wanted to discover what could be wrong with Killian, she would have to do it herself. He was here to check on Killian. And perhaps learn why he didn’t come to the station today.

“Jones? Mate, you there?” David asked, hesitantly stepping aboard, his head looking up.

“Aye, up here, Dave!”

David walked around the main mast until he was able to see Killian, head upside down, a can of paint secured in his left hand as he held the small brush on the other. David’s jaw hung open as he stared in awe at the pirate, the defined muscles of his abdomen moving as the man worked on the mast. _‘Well that’s quite the view...Fuck what are you doing, man? Stop staring at him!’_ he scolded himself, putting an end to his staring before the pirate caught him. He wasn’t here to compare himself with the show the pirate was giving. _Fucking pirate_!

“What exactly are you doing up there, Jones?” David asked, trying his best to hide his agitation.

“Ahh, well I,” Killian put a finishing touch on his work before dropping the brush inside the pot, securing it on a hook and worked on climbing back on the beam so he could sit and speak with his visitor. “It’s been quite a long time since I’ve looked at this old girl the way I should.” He patted the magical wood before deciding to climb down from his spot with all the grace he could muster, making David blush all over again at the way his toned chest muscles rippled. “Today’s weather allowed me to see some details I’ve neglected lately, so I decided to fix it while I was seeing it clearly.”

David barely nodded, the playful lift of Jones’ eyebrow reminding him to keep his composure and stop whatever he was doing. _The bastard knew he’d been staring_.

“So, what brings you here, _Sheriff_?” he asked, with his damn grin firmly in place, his tongue sinfully poking out as he reached for a small towel to dry himself.

“I- For fuck sake, Hook! What’s gotten into you, I’m not my daughter!” David cringed, trying to sound offended, though it was more to cover the fact he’d been comparing himself to the damn pirate.

But the mention of Emma seemed to instantly cool Killian down and David quickly mumbled apologies. Reminded of what he was here for, David cleared his throat. He needed to choose his next words carefully. Killian hadn’t mentioned the fact he was missing his post this morning or anything about the previous evening. If he wanted answers about whether or not Killian might be hiding something else about the dog attack, like he’d been hiding details from him about the pulley incident, he needed to avoid triggering something that would unsettle the pirate.

“I, I was looking for the stray dog you and Henry saw. Any chance you could help with that?”

“No. Henry already told you what happened. I have nothing else to say about it,” Jones sharply answered, clearly not wanting to talk about the incident that happened on his ship or from last night. “I haven’t seen the bloody dog since.”

David looked at him for a crack, a lie hidden beneath the statement but he couldn’t detect a thing.

“Apparently, it has been roaming the streets overnight, causing small amounts of damage,” he continued calmly, watching as Killian appeared to be at a loss about what he was saying. _He wasn’t aware of any of it then._ “So I suggest you stay vigilant and well, if you find or see anything...”

David motioned to his phone and Killian nodded. He gave the pirate his thanks, watching the man’s stance relax. _See buddy? What were you thinking? That Jones would have a connection with that mess_?

“Well, okay then. I’ll see you tomorrow?” David asked hopefully, wanting to see how Killian would react about coming back to work with him.

The man seemed to hesitate a moment but agreed and waved goodbye to him as he walked down below for a shower. Lingering a few more seconds, David took a deep breath, relieved the man wasn’t holding some kind of grudge against him from what happened at dinner. Looking around the deck one more time for any clue of the stray dog, David finally left the ship and returned to his truck.

The next morning Killian did come, though he was late again. But at least he texted him, apologizing for oversleeping. When he finally arrived at the station, David couldn’t deny the fact that the man looked much more rested than the past several weeks so if the only price for having a pirate in a better mood was to deal with occasional tardiness, David was more than okay with that.

* * *

One thing was sure, Killian Jones doesn’t do sleepwalking. So why on earth did he wake up outside his bed once again?!

It was the third morning in a row that he had found himself outside his bed come morning, in some unusual and sometimes dangerous places. Thinking back, he remembered opening his eyes one morning being half naked in the crew’s quarters. It was a good thing the weather was still warm. Then there was the morning that he nearly fell from the top of the crow's nest upon waking, his hands grabbing the end of the mast until he could hoist himself back on the small platform. That experience left him shaken most of the day, thinking that if it hadn’t been for those new reflexes, he would have died. And thankfully for him, the third time he simply woke up on deck. He couldn’t find any reason for this new habit, though each time it had been after he’d dreamt of Emma.

The first dream was still blurry in his mind. He only recalled bits and pieces of what happened. But what he was sure of, was that since that night, he was waking up fully refreshed. For once he could make it through his day without his mind being clouded with negative thoughts or falling asleep on the job. He was feeling far better now than he had ever since he had regained consciousness. So even if it meant he was perpetually late at the station, Killian was relieved to be able to sleep through the night without being haunted by her or plagued with nightmares. Though he did have to talk about the sleepwalking and dreams with David after he arrived at work, yet again, 2 hours late.

Despite the minor concern the prince had shown at first, his friend had concluded his agitated nights probably were due to missing Emma. It seemed plausible as when he did not dream of Emma, he usually awoke normally in his bed. After that discussion, there were still mornings where Killian woke up confused, wearing only his underwear or when his night clothes were snagged and ripped when they were completely fine the evening before, but at least the sleepwalking episodes had been reduced to simply waking up somewhere else aboard his ship.

Days passed and the full moon was approaching. The closer it got, the more Killian became aware that the benefits of the restful nights started to lessen, while the days that wore him out, coming back to his ship absolutely exhausted, only increased. Which only made him more worried about what to expect when the moon was full. What the fuck was happening to him, would it be the same as last month? After two weeks of peace, they had all begun to think that everything had gone back to some sort of normal, but here he was, now going in the opposite direction.

The worst morning yet, was the day he woke up on the beach. It was Leroy who had roused him with his oh so pleasant voice. The dwarf started with the third degree about why he was lying on the beach, half covered at 5 am. Killian told him about his trouble sleeping and how he had taken a walk to do some stargazing, finally falling asleep in the end. The short man had eyed him warily before huffing in annoyance and turning away. Before he left, he warned Killian about the wild animals running around town recently. If he didn’t want to get eaten, he’d better stop falling asleep out of doors. Killian simply smiled and walked back to his ship. He was quite bothered by what happened, because, in reality, he had no bloody idea how he ended up on the beach that morning. He remembered falling asleep on his mattress and then nothing. He slept like a dead man. Which presented another puzzle. He had only awoken out of bed on the mornings after he dreamt of Emma. But last night, he hadn’t.

* * *

Killian stayed back, watching the scene play out in front of the police station. In only five days, whatever animals that had been coming out of the woods and walking down the streets of Storybrooke at night had unleashed chaos within the small town. It seemed like all the inhabitants of their little hamlet were coming to complain about what had been broken or taken during the night, how hard it was to live knowing the Dark One was somewhere around just waiting for the perfect moment to strike, and now that there was this beast to deal with, they were worried about the safety of their families. Killian wasn’t the sheriff nor an officer, so he couldn’t do much here when all these agitated people wanted to talk to David, to their Prince Charming. To them, he was still Captain Hook, ex-villain. These people would not listen to him. It was just as well, since the full moon was upon them and his unstable emotions were so close to the surface, he wouldn’t be any help anyway. So he waited.

“We need to stop that beast!”

“It came to our house again. This can’t go on, Sheriff!”

“Sheriff, you need to do something!”

“What about my children?”

“It stole stuff from inside my garage last night!”

The cacophony kept going, growing louder and it was clear that David was losing the fight, even as he tried his best to keep the civilians calm. Killian stayed in the shadows, watching the scene without being able to help his mate control the masses. His leg was bouncing nervously as he took note of every face that was hounding his friend. David was his mate and seeing him in trouble was starting to become more than he could bear after everything they’ve been through these past couple of months. Standing idly by while watching David struggle was eating at him and he felt the need to do something burning in his chest. He needed to intervene. Pushing against the wall, Killian took determined steps toward David who was slowly stepping backward in front of the increasingly angry mob.

“WILL YOU SHUT YOUR BLOODY MOUTHS? HE’S FUCKING SPEAKING!”

All the faces turned toward Killian. They all looked at the panting pirate like he was a mad man, but at least his intervention was successful as no one dared to speak after his outburst. David too looked surprised, but a smile quickly appeared on his lips.

“Thanks, mate. I really appreciate that.” David spoke softly, patting Killian’s shoulder before focusing his attention on the now quiet crowd.

Killian nodded at David and stepped away, leaving the man to deal with the horde. His intervention caused a feeling of dominance and power to pulse through his veins. It was strange but not unpleasant. Yet Killian quickly pushed the thought aside as he realized he was shaking, his fists balled at his side. Going back inside the station, away from all the eyes he felt on his back, Killian shook the tension off of his shoulders. Once he was sure he was alone, he concentrated on relaxing his hands and quickly checked his finger tips. He released a sigh when he saw that his fingers were still normal. Since his left hand grew back he had observed that whenever he was feeling strong emotions, his fingers would burn, the only signal he would have before his nails would become sharp claws. With his emotions spiraling out of control more frequently in the past two weeks, he had found himself at the library to search for a possible explanation. The most popular reason for such a transformation was that the person was a werewolf. While it was a very intriguing answer to his case, and made a lot of sense given the facts, Killian knew it couldn’t be possible. He knew the Charmings, Regina and the Blue Fairy had tested him. None of them mentioned that that might be possible. Plus, Widow Lucas would have sensed it (he was sure that’s why the old lady had been suspiciously eying him for a whole week after he’d regained his hand). Killian’s attention was pulled back to the present as he heard the crowd depart, meaning David had succeeded in alleviating their concerns.

“Ah! There you are, Jones!” David exclaimed, his eyes jumping to Killian’s hands before he hid them away. “I, everything okay?”

“Aye. So, how did you manage to appease them?”

“With a nice promise to take care of that beast tonight.”

“Tonight?” Killian asked, surprised.

“Yeah. I’ve been worried myself, with Snow and Neal. If anything were to happen to them, I would react much the same.”

“And I suppose you have a plan?”

“Not much, but I’m sure Regina would be more than happy to help us with the matter,”

David answered, his voice showing just how much he hoped Regina would have a plan.

Killian couldn’t say anything as he had no idea himself and perhaps magic would make the task easier. Waiting for David to call the mayor, Killian looked back at his hands, making sure they were fine. Tonight was the full moon and if they were going to catch that nasty animal, he needed to be ready.

“Alright, Regina will prepare her stuff and meet us here at nine. Do you want me to drop you at the Jolly or are you in for dinner?” Davis proposed but Killian was already looking like he was about to decline the second option. “So you know, it will be just me, you, and Snow. No surprise dinner…” David added, hoping to ease Killian’s worries.

“I… if we’re supposed to fight and catch the animal, I better prepare myself at my ship. But you can pick me up to go meet Regina?” Killian politely declined, hoping David would not take it personally. He wasn’t exactly ready for another family dinner so soon. Not until he felt like his behavior was more stable.

“Alright. Be ready at 8:50.”

~/~

“Remind me why you let Henry come along, knowing it might be dangerous?”

"If he's anything like that daughter of yours, he would have weaseled his way here anyway," Regina answered yet another question from the inquisitive Charmings.

"Me? I, I don't know what you're talking about-” Henry tried to defend himself, but Regina huffed.

“I’m your mother, Henry. I know when you tried to escape the house thinking I wouldn’t notice.”

No one dared to say anything, knowing it wouldn’t do any good. It was clear that Regina was too tense already so David, Snow, and Killian looked away. Killian could sense Henry’s tension and decided to change the subject so the lad did not get told off in front of everyone. He knew the lad well enough to know that he would have indeed attempted to come along or persuade his grandparents or even himself to take him with them.

“So, what’s the plan again?“ Regina turned toward Killian, the look on her face clearly telling him that she was about to lose her patience with all the questions she’d been answering since they set the trap to catch the beast. “Wait here as bloody bait and hope the animal shows its face before we all fall asleep in the middle of the road or the night ends, whichever comes first?”

“By all means, Captain, if you have a better plan to propose,” she scoffed, not believing someone was contesting her plan when that was exactly what she’d been called for.

Sadly, Killian did not have a better plan to offer that was guaranteed to catch the animal tonight. Regina’s plan was still a go knowing there were enough magical traps around them to catch the animal and none had gone off yet.

“That’s what I thought. Now all of you stop talking and keep watching for any suspicious movement,” the queen mumbled, facing the street in front of her.

Nothing happened for hours, all the magical triggers remaining untouched, until Regina reluctantly brought out some furniture for the group to sit on, in concession to their heavy eyelids. And while Killian had been the last one to use his chair to rest his aching back, he was the first to nod off after the exhaustion of the day finally won over. Regina woke him roughly, making him even more grumpy than he already was. Finally, after Henry and Snow had fallen asleep, Killian pushed himself up, nervously passing his hand above his mouth while beginning to pace.

“This is bloody useless. Nothing is happening. The damn animal won’t come.”

“And what makes you say that?”

“It’s almost four in the morning, Your Majesty! The sun will rise in a few hours, and so far that damn beast hasn’t been seen and it only attacks at night!”

“Jones, maybe we can wait just a bit long-” David tried to calm him down.

“I’m done with that, mate. Do as you please. I’m going to bed, instead of wasting my time for nothing!”

“The hell you are, pirate!” Regina hissed, trying to catch up with the man who had already started to walk out of the magical protection she had traced earlier.

“Don’t you dare try to stop me,” Killian barked back, hurrying to get out of her reach. If the queen wanted the protection spell she cast around them to stay in place, she was the only one who needed to stay inside the invisible pattern on the ground.

Killian muttered under his breath once he was back inside his ship. “She should have stayed alone and let us sleep in peace.”

He was lucky they had picked a place close to the docks. He was grumpy enough by now without having to cross the entire town to get back to his quarters. Sending one last thought to the group, Killian climbed into his bed, hoping they would at least catch a glance at the elusive menace before the night was over. He was fast asleep the next minute.

* * *

David had stayed in his chair, watching his friend storm out of their “night camp”. He was used to Killian’s temper by now and knew he would have walked right into a stone wall if he’d tried to reason with him.

“I can’t believe you just let him walk away!” Regina shot at him, looking outraged.

“What did you want me to do, Regina? I’ve been working with him for weeks, even if I had stepped in, he would have found a way to get out of here.”

“See? That’s why I warned you about his behavior! He needs to-”

“And then what?” David interrupted, ready to defend himself and his friend. “You know we’ve been worried about him for weeks. We’ve been checking him, trying to find what might be going on with him. We told you nothing came back. So if you think something is still wrong with him, figure it out yourself!”

“David? What’s happening?” Snow mumbled, the squabble having woke her.

“You would have known if you hadn’t fallen asleep,” Regina grumbled.

“I, wow.” Snow shook her head. “You know what? Nevermind.” Clearly, there had been some argument going on. But the lack of Killian quickly grabbed her attention. “Where’s Killian? Shouldn’t we stay here until the animal is caught or the night is over?”

“Yeah, but Regina here did not help him maintain his Zen, so he stormed off to his ship…” David explained, eyes throwing daggers at the queen.

“He, he _walked_ back to his ship?” Snow’s eyes searching in the dark.

“He’ll be alright, darling. He’s a pirate and he has his sword to defend himself.”

“David! He’s alone while that beast is still out there!”

“Well, he should have fucking stayed here!” Regina yelled, making Henry jump on his makeshift bed.

Henry blinked several times, trying to understand what was happening around him. He didn’t remember falling asleep, but the loud voice of the adults woke him in the middle of a dream. “ _Perhaps I should have stayed home like Mom told me…_ ” Henry thought, feeling his eyes sting. After a few minutes of listening to the three adults, he understood that Killian had left the group earlier to go back to his ship. Like his grandmother, he wasn’t particularly happy to hear that but he trusted Killian to return home safely. Checking his watch and letting a yawn escape, he made himself comfortable on his seat and went back to looking for the animal. He was about to nod off again when one of the huge bushes in front of them started to move. Deeply frowning, he released a gasp when he saw the animal coming out of the foliage.

“Mom! Look! That’s it!”

All three adults turned their faces in the direction Henry pointed, all walking toward the boy to take a closer look as the animal slowly approached them. It was still hiding in the shadows, but its huge size made it easily visible. No wonder it had been leaving so much damage in its wake and was frightening civilians. They all took a step back as a gust of wind came from behind the beast, leaving a dark foreboding about the nature of the thing. Finally, it was close enough for them to see in detail exactly what it was. The beast stared at the boy as it emerged from it’s hideout. Regina quickly grabbed Henry by the arm, dragging him behind her.

“Oh my god, is that a wolf?!” Mary Margaret exclaimed, watching the indeed imposing wolf making its way toward them.

“Remember what I said! We just need it to trigger one of the traps!” Regina called, nervously grabbing for Henry.

She did not like the way the wolf was eying her son. She didn’t take her eyes off of it, not even watching David or Mary Margaret as the former bandit readied her bow and arrow in case the animal needed a push to take a different path. The black wolf was steadily walking toward the first trap set around them but stopped just before its left paw could touch the ground and activate it. Regina frowned as the wolf sniffed the air and turned to its right, avoiding the trap. The same thing happened to the second trap and then the third.

“Regina? Isn’t it supposed to have triggered something by now?”

“It’s avoided them! All of them! How? Only the five of us knew where the traps were!”

While the group started to panic at the revelation, the wolf continued to avert each and every magical trap Regina had drawn on the ground, starting to snarl as it came closer to them. Henry had started to tremble, looking around for another escape. If they ran anywhere, the invisible maze Regina had drawn to protect them from the outside, would trap them instead.

The closer the wolf came to them, the more David thought they were completely fucked. When Regina finally decided to use her magic to fight back against the wolf, something caught its attention in the distance and after a mighty jump, so high it was surreal, it was off in the wild again. Leaving David, Mary Margaret, and Henry in a stupor while Regina stared at the woods where the wolf had escaped, cursing herself for not having acted sooner, before it could escape.


	5. Chapter IV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things get interesting as we reach half the fic. Won't say anything else and hope you'll like das chapter! :)  
> (thx again for all your lovely messages ♥)
> 
> today Warning:  
> -(small) Self Harm-

Killian awoke to the strident ringing of his phone piercing his ears and making him groan profusely. He felt like he’d barely slept. Yet as he reached out to answer the call, Killian saw it was already two in the afternoon. The phone fell silent seconds later but the text notification promptly followed. It was from David, asking him if he was alright and letting him know about the evening planned at Granny’s.

_“Your presence is required.”_

Killian rolled his eyes, groaning at the idea of what sounded like a forced meeting before he dropped the phone back on the small table near his bed and looked up at the ceiling. David didn’t mention the beast. Did they catch it? Did it even appear after he went home? Thinking about his actions, Killian moaned, realizing he might have been a bit too hard on them. He should have stayed and slept like the lad and princess had. He wouldn't have worried David and perhaps Regina would have stopped bothering him. But what’s done is done. Trying to decide how to fill the hours in front of him before he headed to dinner, Killian opted for some reading from one of the books in his cabin, despite the fact he knew most of them by heart.

Hours slowly passed and by the fourth chapter of his book, Killian had nodded off, his hands still holding the book. He jumped awake at the sound of the tome hitting the wooden floor, immediately noticing the way the waves were rocking the boat. Taking a quick look out the small windows, he saw the way the sky had become grey, the tall trees swaying in the wind. Killian suppressed a shiver and looked at the clock. If he wasn’t on the move soon, he would be late and he knew better than to push his luck tonight, no matter how reluctant he was to join the others. He was nearly ready five minutes later when he realized he was missing something.

“Where the hell is my jacket?” Killian groaned, looking around his room for the second time.

He was sure he had hung it on the chair behind his desk when he came home this morning. There was no way it could have moved and he hadn’t been sleepwalking so why couldn’t he find it? His eyes landed on David’s hoodie that he must have forgotten the last time he was on the ship, so Killian decided to forget about his own jacket. Not finding it was only increasing the tension inside him. Since the weather had obviously cooled down, this would at least keep him warm tonight despite the lack of style.

Once he arrived, Killian stopped in front of the door, listening to the din coming from inside the restaurant. It looked like half the town was in there and he wasn’t sure how well he could restrain himself from running back to his ship in spite of the strict instruction of the prince. For a moment, Killian stood frozen in front of the door, heart beating wildly, anxiety making its way down his throat and into his belly. He couldn’t move from his spot, suddenly terrified by the idea of going inside for any reason needing his presence. As he struggled to swallow down his dread, the clouds above moved, allowing the full moon to shine down through the breaks in the clouds. It was the final straw.

He was ready to run away, back to his ship when Mary Margaret opened the door, smiling brightly at him before taking him by the arm and bringing him in. There was no going back, no escape to take. And of course, most of the people stopped their discussion to take a look at the newcomers. Killian stood rigid by the entrance, looking lost before reminding himself to move before he could make a fool of himself. Hunching his shoulders, trying to make himself as inconspicuous as possible after his arrival, Killian walked toward the counter, picking a lone stool before asking for a drink. Mary Margaret had left him and joined David and Regina in conversation with an unfamiliar couple. The conversation appeared to be deep enough that he did not want to interrupt them, preferring to wait until they came for him.

Right now, his focus was to blend in with the crowd until they forgot about his strange entrance. Once settled at the bar, the panic faded, but still Killian remained tense and on high alert. Perhaps the glass of rum he had ordered would help. The first two shots accomplished his purposes but it wasn’t long before the alcohol’s dulling effect he was seeking disappeared. The amber liquid only burned his throat with every swallow which left him alert enough to catch the voices around him, from people that he had wished to forget.

“It must be so hard for him…”

“The pirate? He’s a freak!”

“Nothing more than a villain.”

“Poor soul, it must be terrible…”

“He and the princess were a nice couple, in my opinion.”

“Come on! Stop feeling guilty for that man, Fred!”

“There’s a rumor that _he_ is behind all the troubles...I don’t trust him.”

“Tsssk- weirdo.”

“Lonely and broken man...”

“Emma Swan was good for him. Pity she’s not here anymore.”

 _Why can I hear them all?_ Killian asked himself, his now stormy gaze focused on the empty glass and bottle in front of him. Why wasn’t the alcohol in his system stopping the pain? As he acknowledged it, the hurt turned into anger. Anger toward all those daft people, toward everything that was being said about him. His body started to shake with all the emotions boiling inside of him, the burning anger taking control of his thoughts once more. He focused his attention on the voices of Regina and the Charmings along with a few more people from the hero team. They sounded tense, worried about what happened last night. Regina seemed to be quite upset by the fact that the beast, well, wolf apparently, somehow knew of the traps she set. That meant that either someone outside their group knew about her whole plan, or...

“It’s obvious, David. He was the only other one who knew about the plan. He went home before us, and then that fucking wolf just appeared?! This isn’t a coincidence!”

“I’m not saying you’re wrong, but do you have any proof of what you’re saying? We’re talking about Killian, not just any random townsperson!” David replied.

“I don’t trust the pirate.”

“I don’t recall you trusting him anyway.”

“No one asked for your opinion!”

Even from his place at the counter, Killian could feel the tension and doubt in him emanating from the group and it only fueled his rage.

“Sir? You’re fine?”

Killian looked up from his glass, the stranger breaking his concentration on the hero’s conversation. In a way, the dwarf, he suddenly realized, did him a favor by interrupting his eavesdropping, but he was so deep into the anger and hatred that he snarled at him in answer. It was then that Killian’s hearing caught the nearly imperceptible cracking coming from the glass grasped in his right hand, his knuckles white from the pressure he was applying. Closing his eyes, Killian tried his best to take deep breaths, slowing down his rapidly beating heart while willing his anger back to more reasonable levels. But he was so far gone that it was nearly impossible to calm down on his own. Checking surreptitiously for any familiar faces or other observers, Killian let his left hand slip beneath the counter before allowing his claws to appear and pierce his palm enabling him to focus on the pain instead. In a corner of his mind he was glad it worked, because in the last two months, it was the only thing he had found that helped calm the anger inside of him.

“Think what you want, I’m sure the pirate has something to do with this.”

The diner suddenly fell silent at the sound of glass shattering on the counter. Killian’s eyes were fixed on the remains of the glass that had exploded in his hand. He knew if he were to turn and face the queen right now he would definitely do something he’d regret. Or it would at least convince anyone still believing in him that he had something to hide. But it was too much for him to bear and remain silent anymore.

“See?”

“Aye,” Killian’s strained voice finally answered. “After all, I’m the villain. Always was.” He dared to turn his head slightly so she could hear him better. “AREN’T I?”

Regina scoffed at the remark, ready to fight back but Mary Margaret was fast in hushing her before she could say anything else to Killian that would aggravate the situation. Mary Margaret nodded at David, encouraging him to approach Killian while she made sure Regina would remain quiet. David slowly walked to the counter and his shaking friend, the soft noise coming from him sounding like sobs.

“Jones?” David whispered, not wanting to startle his friend.

But the pirate did not react to the sound of his voice, and in fact, his shoulders trembled even more. David winced at the reaction. _Is it possible that he heard us?_ he thought, desperately hoping that wasn’t the case as he knew some hadn’t been exactly kind toward him during their discussion. He couldn’t agree with what Regina was saying about Killian, but surely the man didn’t know about that, which was why seeing him in this state was worrying him. Standing right next to him, David realized where he had first thought his friend had been sobbing, it was clear now that the pirate was laughing, though David couldn’t see the reason. C _ould his self-loathing be showing itself again? But why?_

“Jones? Hey, are you okay?”

The moment David’s fingers brushed Killian’s shoulder, the pirate moved surprisingly fast, grabbing and twisting David’s arm, a loud cry coming from him as he followed the motion to stop his mate from breaking his arm.

“Jones! I-” David moaned again at the pressure the pirate was putting on his arm while the rest of the diner started to react in shock to the scene. The pain in his arm was forgotten as Killian’s eyes suddenly changed color. “W-what the fuck, Hook?”

At the mention of his nickname, Killian realized he was acting out of emotion and had nearly forgotten that he was hurting his mate. _What am I bloody doing?_ Killian knew something about him was wrong again with the way David kept staring at his eyes. Acting quickly to avoid dealing with the rest of the diner and David’s wife, he let go of the prince’s arm and pushed the man toward those who decided to intervene to capture him. The moment David was far enough away from him, Killian ran out of the diner into the streets, his escape followed by exclamations erupting inside the diner.

Killian was very happy for the hoodie he had decided to wear tonight, the cloth allowing him to hide his face from everyone as he distanced himself from Granny’s. With every step he was taking, he could feel his jaw tingling, the aching he felt telling him his fangs were trying to grow all while his hearing and vision became more and more acute. A few blocks away Killian finally slowed down his pace, taking a moment to desperately try to regulate his breathing and think of a plan. His hands were both shaking, the hair usually covering them appearing darker and thicker, all his fingers having sharp claws that no matter how hard he tried, weren’t disappearing. Killian jerked at the sound of people talking nearby and the pit of fear in his stomach reappeared, pushing him to forget for a moment what was happening to him and to go back to his actual plan: finding a place to hide until whatever was going on inside of him settled. Running wildly down the streets, jumping at every sound, Killian tried to find a place secluded enough for him to hide. He knew his ship and the docks were out of question. They would be the first places they would look for him. The Jolly had been his safe place each time he felt he was in danger and now that he needed it the most, he was forced to find another in order to survive. Because there was little doubt that the heroes or Regina would let him live after that display. The fact that he was unable to halt these new changes occurring within him only reinforced his intuition. He couldn’t change back and it was scaring him.

A fraction of a second later, Killian collided with something or more precisely, _someone_ , both of them tumbling to the street. By reflex, Killian extended his right arm to help the man get on his feet again. It would have been fine if only he hadn’t forgotten that his hand wasn’t exactly friendly looking anymore. As soon as the man realised it, he brought his hand close to his chest as if the contact had burned him.

“Oh! Oh-oh my!” the man mumbled, quickly stepping away from Killian and back toward the main street.

“No, wait, you don’t have to-”

Killian tried to placate the shaken man but when he turned his head to look around him for any unwanted spectators, he caught sight of his reflection in a window. At the sight, he truly understood the fear the man was feeling. Overall, he still looked the same, but the changes of his features were shocking. His eyes glowed a bright orange, his sideburns were much longer and bushier, and his fangs were completely visible. There was also something else that changed, as if the lines on his face had deepened. The whole lot combined with his claws were giving him a terrifying look. The question was, who was more scared of his new apparence? Killian wasn’t sure what kept him from running away from his own reflection.

“You- you’re the monster! It’s you!” The man yelled, pointing at Killian who focused his attention on him again.

“No, please, you don’t understand I-”

It was futile, his words falling on empty ears, his defensive posture only adding to the panic on the man’s face. Killian scanned his surroundings for an escape but he was the one trapped between the man and the only way out of the cul-de-sac. The man drew a pistol from his pocket that froze Killian on the spot, his hands held out in front of him in a peace gesture. His heart was about to jump out of his chest when his instincts kicked in. Killian used his enhanced speed to bypass the man and run to the next street, tugging at his hoodie in order to hide his face, but the man didn’t stay paralysed in fear for long and almost immediately started running after him. Killian was coming up on an obstacle, but before he could leap over it, the sound of the gun echoed in the quiet street and a bright pain flared at his side. The bullet pierced his flesh and a deep cry followed his fall to the pavement. For a long moment Killian couldn’t see past the pain of the wound, his hands fumbling at his side until one of them could grab the blood coated bullet and throw it aside. Whining, Killian slowly crawled on the street toward the nearest wall for support, his left hand tight around the bleeding wound. His attacker quickly approached, gun trained on him again, seemingly unphased that he was cornering a frightened and wounded animal.

Killian’s eyes jumped to the end of the gun, a fresh wave of fear coming over him. He was about to lunge on the man, baring his fangs when he realized that was exactly what he was being accused of and also what the man was waiting for. He couldn’t stop the deep roar that came from his mouth but Killian fell back on the cold cobblestones, crawling away from him. Each move he made was sending fresh agony to his wound but strangely the pain started to fade, as if it was already healing. Which was completely insane. Killian shook his head in disbelief as he tried to get up.

“You should have stayed in hell, demon.” The man spat, aiming again.

He was stuck, in pain and lost. Killian tried one last time to make the man see the truth, that he wasn’t the beast the town was looking for. He was- he didn’t know what he was anymore. A dead man, he was dead for sure. Looking one last time at the man before him, Killian closed his eyes and waited. There was a loud bang but the pain he was waiting for never came. _Perhaps I’m already dead?_ Seconds later, a familiar scent invaded his nose. His eyes snapped open. Standing in front of him was the Dark Swan.

“What happened to the whole “I’m a survivor” thing Jones?” the blond woman teased, looking at the scared and defenseless pirate she’d just saved.

“I...Swan? W-what are you-”

“Well, I couldn’t let that scum kill my creation!” she purred, walking past the motionless body to stand closer to him.

“I- wait, what?” _Creation? What does that mean?_ “Did you... Did you do _this_ to me?” Killian accused, looking down at himself.

She must be joking. There was no way she would do such a thing. He looked at her in confusion.

“Of course, sweetheart. I simply offered you a gift.”

“A _gift_? Bloody hell, Swan! This ain’t a damn gift!” he roared back, jumping to his feet, the fading pain replaced with hot rage. “This, this is a bloody curse!”

“Are you sure? I mean, you’re stronger, faster, better. You’re powerful.”

She sauntered around him, her cold hand sliding along the muscles in his shoulders. She seemed almost turned on by his current form. But it was so wrong. Killian wrested himself away from her hands, putting a sizable distance between them before he really looked closely at her. She looked different too. Gone was her golden hair and red jacket. The platinum hair was adorned with silver leaf, everything pulled tight into a bun. Her pale, almost shining, skin a stark contrast to the black leather she was wearing from head to toe. The only thing that seemed the same was her eyes and yet, their emerald green had gone hard and cold. Killian swallowed at the harsh changes. _What had bloody happened in Camelot? What had pushed her to embrace the Darkness?_ Because it was clear the woman in front of him wasn’t his Emma anymore.

“I don’t want this, take it back.”

“Are you sure? Because-”

“I said, take it back, Dark One.” Killian spat, staring into her eyes. There was no Emma Swan left.

“Alright, alright. No need to be harsh, _love_ ,” the Dark Swan answered, a small smile on her red lips at Killian’s reaction to her using her usual pet name on him.

Before Killian could retort, she snapped her fingers and his breath was taken from his lungs, the pain invading his body causing him to collapse in the street. It radiated throughout his extremities for a long minute before it faded somewhat and Killian could finally open his eyes again and breathe. The Dark One looked down at him in disdain before she turned around and sat on a nearby box. Killian frowned before hastily looking down at himself. The happiness of being returned to his true self was short lived when the pain of where he was shot roared back to life. _What the hell?_ Killian thought, his hands fumbling to his side. He was sure the wound had stopped bleeding and begun to heal so why was it open all over again? The Dark Swan looked down at him, a smirk on the corner of her lips, one that Killian missed as he quickly righted his pained features and faced her.

“Now what?”

“How’s that?” she answered, looking at him knowingly.

He ignored her smug question. “Surely you don’t trust me to not spill your secret? That you are here, in Storybrooke. So what are you planning to do with me?”

“That is none of your concern. And don’t worry, I’ll make sure you’ll forget everything, again.”

_Again? Had I met her before? What is she hiding from us?_

“I’ll make sure you will remain ignorant of the truth.”

She spoke as if it was something she had been doing for some time. Killian’s brain was spinning as he tried to understand what she meant. If she was about to make him forget everything, perhaps Regina could somehow find a way to make him remember. It was worth a try.

“What truth?” he asked, trying to stand straight despite the onslaught of pain he was enduring.

“Don’t think that I don’t already know what you’re about to attempt, Killian.” She smiled sweetly at him, taking in his countenance, delighting in the way it was killing him to hear her speak to him like that, as if nothing had happened. “The truth that you don’t have to worry about what I’m doing. After all, I’m the one that has kept you under control, to avoid things getting too messy...”

“M-me?” _Why would she need to keep me under control?_ The confusion was plain on his face. _Unless it was all connected_. “Wait, you….you mean, the wolf?”

“Mmhm” she nodded, getting up from her seat to stalk around him. “The wolf, the beast, the monster, the creature. Whatever the rest of the town calls it. I couldn’t let them know it was you, nor could you. And trust me, hiding it is quite the task, particularly with dear old Granny. Or when you almost broke the spell on your own aboard your ship with Henry.”

“Then why did you even curse me in the first place?”

“You don’t need to worry about that, my love. Even less since you decided to reject my gift.” She sounded quite annoyed by that, but something in her voice told him she wasn’t done with him yet.

“Though you see, it was your only chance to save _her_. To save your Emma.” She posed before him, looking at him with her cold eyes, searching for an answer. “I know you’ve been seeing her, Jones. During the nights of the last full moon.”

Killian looked shocked by the news. That night, that dream. It really has been her? His Swan, the real Emma? His heart nearly exploded with happiness. It meant she was still there, somewhere beneath the Darkness that was dictating all her thoughts and actions. If he could reach her, help her take back control, they could fix whatever happened in Camelot before all this mess happened. They could save her from that bloody damnation.

“Don’t get too excited over there, pirate. Must I remind you that you almost begged me to take that power away?”

The Darkness knew that the pirate was essential to its plan. He was the perfect distraction for the town heroes until it could enact its grand plan. He was also a good distraction for the Savior. The Darkness might have taken over the body of its host but Emma Swan remained here, she and her light magic still being a threat to the Darkness’s plans. The fact that she was able to connect with the pirate each time the curse had turned him into the Dark One’s beast, showed just how important it was to keep him ignorant of exactly what it had planned.

“The only way for you to have that insignificant chance to save her would be to accept my deal.”

The Dark Swan looked at the pirate who was clearly struggling with his decision. Without the curse the Dark One had initially cast on him, it was impossible for him to connect with Emma. But the moment he accepted the deal, he would be powerful enough that if he managed to break through the control of the Dark One and find the Savior again in his dream state he may be able to find a way to free her. But the Darkness would have enacted its plan long before he could do such a thing.

“So I’m going to ask you the question again, are you _really_ sure you want to stay a weak and defenceless human? Or are you ready to try and _save_ her,” Dark Swan whispered, her tongue curling on the last word.

Killian began to tremble in indecision. He could save her. He had to save her! But if he was to listen to what the Dark One in front of him was saying, the pirate wasn’t enough, he needed the power of the cursed wolf to even have a chance to save her. The Darkness had always crawled easily under his skin and it was making the deal very tempting. Killian closed his eyes and focused on resisting the Dark One. There was no way she would allow him to remember this confrontation, especially if he refused her, but here, she was letting him decide. Perhaps if he agreed willingly, he’d have a chance to remember enough to help him free her.

“You could free me.”

And there’s Swan, _his_ Swan, right in front of him. She still looked like the Dark One but her eyes told a different story. It was undeniably her. The scene held a sense of déjà-vu but Killian couldn’t remain stoic in the presence of his love, nearly begging him to save her. He took a step toward her until he could feel her breath on his face. His eyes flickered to her lips. He wanted to hold her in his arms and kiss her with all the desire burning inside of his heart. He reached out for her, nearly drowning in his love for her when he realized the trick and abruptly stepped back. The Dark One was back and laughing at the devastation he knew was plastered all over his face.

“You’re weak, Killian Jones…” the Darkness sneered, “But I can make you strong.”

She stepped back into his personal space, her hands humming with magic.

“This can make you strong.” She paused, teasing Killian with her power. “It can help you free her. You just have to let go.”

“I won’t.”

Killian looked straight in front of him, forcing himself not to flinch at the feel of her fingers on his body, steading his breathing so he could show his determination even though his resolve was slowly cracking.

“Do you want to save her?” Her voice was like a spell, slowly bewitching him.

“Yes.”

“Do you want to free her?”

“Yes,” Killian answered, desperately.

“Are you willing to do whatever it takes to save her from us?”

“ _Yes_.”

His voice was nothing more than a breath, his eyes fluttering shut as the last of his resistance crumbled.

“Then embrace my gift; let the power fill you...Let the beast out.”

Killian’s eyes snapped open, his pupils a deep crimson red. His mouth opened wide trying to breathe, but he couldn’t seem to draw any breath. His turbulent breathing and racing heartbeat sounded in his ears as strangled noises poured from his mouth. Whatever was going on inside his human body made him feel both powerful and too small to contain it all. He fell to his knees, his hands hitting the floor as the pain ripped through him. His whole body was consumed by a burning pain and rage and the need to save Emma no matter what the cost. His blurry vision allowed him to catch a glimpse of his hands tensed against the ground as if he was trying to hold onto it. Everything was suddenly too much for him to handle and his mind went blank.

Moments later, he awoke, floating in a strange, empty space, like he was underwater. Everything was perfectly quiet and he was safe and warm. The only thing tethering him to reality was a small pull near his navel, like a wee one inside it’s mother’s womb.

The Dark One saw the moment when the pirate’s consciousness ceased to exist and only the wild beast remained. The thin line of her lips slowly curled as the Dark Swan watched as the pirate slowly turned into the most advanced form of his curse. Skin and limbs are torn apart, bones and muscles rebuilding, rearranging themselves until the imposing wolf changed into the huge wild beast that would be answering her commands. Human cries turned into painful howls that echoed into the night. The mass of black fur curled in on itself, intermittent soft whines coming from it.

“There, there. It’s alright, my beauty,” the Dark Swan crooned, admiring the result of her curse. _Our weapon_ , the Darkness giggled, the excitement flooding through her body. “Now rise.”

At the command, the beast uncovered its head, the two blood red irises staring back at her as it slowly stood on its two legs, revealing its true size. Its master smiled at the view before the creature howled at the moon.

* * *

Killian’s scream echoed through the room as he bolted awake, sweat coating his skin as his limbs struggled against their restraints. The panic remained until he realized he was in his bed and it was only the wet sheets that were tangled and glued to his body. _God, it was just a dream._ Killian’s panting breaths filled the room, his dilated pupils slowly going back to normal as he looked around his cabin. His mind was still webbed with unfocused fragments of the nightmare, the dread still coursing through him despite the fact that he knew it was over. It had felt so real. Shaking his head, he let his face fall in his shaking hands, trying to conciliate his wild thoughts. Killian took a deep breath, finally beginning to calm, and focused on his body. He was sore as hell. His throat, body, and head all hurt. Yet he didn’t remember doing anything in particular that would explain why. Another flash of the dream popped in his head. The next second a possible connection between the dream and his current condition occurred to him.

“Get a hold of yourself, mate,” Killian muttered to himself, trying to fight the growing anxiety.

The dream was completely messed up, there was no way it could have truly happened, there must be some other reason for his soreness. Just as he extracted himself from his bed, two empty rum bottles fell on the floor, rolling across the floor before one collided with a third bottle. Killian frowned, trying to remember where it came from, knowing he hadn’t been drinking recently. Unless, he did drink himself to the point of blacking out the previous evening. Which would definitely be a plausible answer for his current condition.

“Now, how did I end up getting that drunk…” Killian wondered as he collected the bottles.

The empty bottles were placed on the counter of the small kitchen as an overwhelming thirst came over him. Trying to remember the previous night was completely forgotten as Killian opened one of the cupboards, grabbed a tall glass, and filled it to the top with fresh water. After gulping it down, he smacked his lips, anxious for more. Killian’s mind became entirely focused on that need. The glass joined the empty bottles on the counter as Killian aimed for the sink, drinking directly from the faucet to quench the sudden desert inside his mouth. He wiped the remaining water from his face with the back of his hand before he decided to grab a few things to eat for breakfast. Once he had eaten the contents of two cans, a strange, trance-like state came over him making him crave more food than he would usually need. He returned to the food storage and grabbed multiple cans off the shelves before he sat on the floor and proceeded to eat the usual portion for about half his crew before he was finally sated. Before he could get up and clear the fog in his head, exhaustion overwhelmed him and the next minute, he was fast asleep.

It was almost midday when Killian finally opened his eyes. He vaguely remembered the circumstances and panic of the morning but everything seemed to be straight out of a dream. Rubbing his eyes, Killian groaned a little as he stood up, stretching as he walked to his cabin to retrieve his jacket. As he put it on, Killian frowned, remembering how he couldn’t find it yesterday. However, the worry was quickly pushed away and Killian walked into town. When the diner was in sight, he was joined by Mary Margaret and David. The woman’s face brightened with a smile as she looked at him.

“Killian! How are you?” she asked. Killian could see she was restraining herself from hugging him or any other kind of physical contact.

“I, umh, I’m fine.” He wasn’t sure how to answer her. He was about to ask why she seemed so glad to see him, but the prince saved him the trouble.

“You left the party quite early last night! We were afraid something had happened that could have pushed you away.”

Killian opened his mouth, but then promptly closed it. For a moment, the reason David was giving him didn’t ring true, like it wasn’t exactly what had happened, but the thought was pushed away by his belly rumbling loudly.

“I- umh, sorry.” Killian was blushing, his hand scratching the familiar spot behind his ear while Mary Margaret laughed softly.

“I’d say, it’s a good thing Granny’s organized a self-serve buffet today. Why don’t you join us, Killian?”

“A-aye, milady.” Another loud protest came from his stomach.

Killian chuckled, slowly realizing he was indeed famished, despite the copious breakfast he remembered that he had partaken of a few hours before. All rational thought faded away as he followed the couple inside, the amazing smell of the food making him salivate. They sat at their usual table and began light conversation while eating.

“Man, when was the last time you ate?” David asked, not able to hold his tongue any longer when his friend came back with a sixth full plate while he was still working on his second.

Killian was devouring the new plate of pancakes, stopping just long enough to take a deep breath and mouth a “What?” in answer before his attention was taken by Ruby who passed by. David kept staring at him for several seconds, shocked at the amount of food the pirate was ingesting. The pirate couldn’t be malnourished, right? After all, he’d been eating at home with them the past couple of months and Mary Margaret had been making enough food that even if it was his only meal on a given day, he shouldn’t be wolfing down that much food. Before David could dig any further, his phone rang, duties calling him back to the station. That was all it took for the question to be completely forgotten.


	6. Chapter V

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that the Dark One is once again planning in the shadows, meanwhile, things get messy and poor Killian is almost reaching the bottom while doubts spreads among his friends...  
> Today’s warnings >>bit of manhandling - blood/violence description (all in the 2nd part)<<

Over the course of four weeks, a lot of things happened. The phone call David had received was only the first of many, and all for essentially the same reasons. At first, it was townspeople going missing for a few days with no explanation or memory of why they’d left in the first place. With the wild beast still at the forefront of everyone’s minds, families were almost immediately calling the station to alert them of the disappearance. Barely a week after the start of the events, the rumor of a giant wolf was brought up again. It was a creature straight from the pit of hell and was being spotted more frequently. With the increase in sightings, the missing persons turned into victims that were filling the hospital until finally there were even murder cases. Killian could feel the glares of the townspeople on his back as he worked alongside David or when he dared to walk down the streets. Since Regina's plan had failed, he'd been the chief suspect among the town’s denizens of who could be the monster. It wasn't anything new though. He'd been a villain for most of his long life, he was used to being looked at this way.

But once another phase of the moon passed without Killian behaving strangely, the suspicion around him died. However, a new element came into play that motivated Killian even more to find and stop the creature that was likely behind the few murders. The beast was seen with a woman. One with silver-golden hair that glowed under the moon. Even without his full memories of what happened in Camelot, Killian knew it had to be her. Yet in spite of spending his nights searching the town, he never caught a single glimpse of the woman. The moment finally arrived when David had to chase him from the station, even driving him to his ship to make sure he would stay there and rest.

_“I understand you feel the need to find her, mate. But pushing yourself to your limits won't help you find her any faster."_

David was right. Reluctantly, Killian agreed and stopped his watches, only to be taunted by the return of the ill omened pair. It was as if they were actively avoiding being seen by the pirate and it really pissed him off. The Charmings did their best to appease Killian’s foul mood but the only way for him to handle his frustration and anger and not drown in them like the months before, was to see Emma. Even if it was only a dream. Generally, he would find her in her small oasis of light and life surrounded by that land of darkness, a place where she was waiting for him with a soft smile on her lips.

He would collapse at her side and bare his heart and soul to her as she ran her fingers through his hair. Once the tensions were gone and he felt completely relaxed, he was at her mercy, simply listening to her voice and wishing all his heart’s desires could be realized. But each time his thoughts became clear enough to talk to her about a plan to free her, his time was suddenly over and he had to beg her to come back again, to not leave him alone in that harsh world, that he needed her by his side. She would smile and hold him in her arms, telling him to have faith in them, that everything will be alright as long as he listened to her voice and didn’t try to resist. And each time he would simply nod and fall asleep in her arms, just like the good dog he was. It was all he could recall. It was something and yet nothing. So he decided to keep the dreams to himself, until he could remember anything that would truly help.

The next full moon finally arrived and Regina was even more insufferable than usual with him and the rest of the team. The moon was projected to be blood red and deep down, Killian could feel his body quiver in anticipation. He might have been spared from any weird behavior the last cycle but that was no guarantee that it would be the same this time. While he had no idea about the effect it would have on him based on what he already experienced, it was clear the beast _was_ affected as the week before the moon became full, the number of victims rose to a point where a whole floor of the hospital was filled with them. Everyone was on high alert. David, as sheriff of the town, had asked all citizens to stay inside tonight, especially with the number of patients already admitted to the hospital. Unfortunately, David feared the spectacle of the red moon would draw many people out of their homes to watch the phenomenon, despite the official warnings. Thus the afternoon meeting before the dreaded night.

"Alright, tonight we're going to do several group patrols in order to prevent chaos from spreading. You have all seen the list of who is in your group. Official instructions will be handed out tonight. I suggest everyone go get some rest and prepare for a long night," David announced to the group of ten workers.

Everyone nodded before dispersing, giving Killian the moment he needed to catch David.

"Mate, what's the meaning of this?" he hissed, frustration coating his words. "Why am I not on the list with you and the others?"

"Killian, I-"

"Were you planning on telling me about it?"

David looked down, shame on his face. _So he wasn't_. Unconsciously, Killian’s fist balled at his side. He tried to remain cool as his anger slowly built up at the unexpected news. David noticed it and tried to give him a satisfactory answer for his choice.

"Listen, Jones, it's…” he trailed away, “There's nothing against you, it's just- you, you seemed tense all week and the others times you were acting li-"

"You know what, fine,” Killian spat, “Have fun tonight, _mate_." He turned to head for the exit without missing a beat, feeling more hurt that David didn’t trust him than by the choice he made.

He didn't want his help? Fine. He would go and lock himself on his ship, after all it was what the prince had been doing recently. If David was in trouble, he'd have to call Regina for help. Apparently he was not suited for that kind of task, even if he wasn't the one behind that fucking beast problem. Killian tried to clear all the anger and pain in his mind, just walking around the town and woods most of the afternoon. But when evening came, the talk with the prince came back to haunt him. It sparked the anger anew, putting Killian right back in the same state that he’d been in when he stormed out of the station. He tried to ease the shaking in his body brought on by the anger by checking his beloved ship, but it didn’t do any good. His focus just kept going back to the events of the afternoon. With clenched teeth and ragged breaths, Killian entered his cabin before leaning on his desk, his hands grasping the edge of the wooden table. _Why am I like this? Why did everyone start to doubt me when things turned bad?_ Each question was followed by a new one while Killian tried to keep breathing through his rapidly narrowing airways.

_Why am I not loved? By anyone?_

The voice inside his head stopped after that last question, allowing Killian to hold his head up in an attempt to not drown himself in his sorrow. A small plop reached Killian’s ears as his blurry vision stared into space. Another followed a few seconds later, this time a wet sensation on his hand accompanying the sound. Killian frowned, focusing his attention on the cold spot on the back of his hand. Tears. Killian blinked furiously, willing his vision to clear as he realized he’d started to cry. _And for what?_ His voice sneered in his head, making his blood boil again. Moments later, Killian was consumed by the rage and pain in his soul as he grabbed the back of the chair beneath him, lifted it in the air, and sent the piece of furniture through the air smashing against the nearest wall as if it was nothing. A loud scream echoed in his cabin, muffling the sound of the splintering chair as it hit the floor. Killian felt marginally better after releasing all the pent up emotions, but as soon as he realized what he’d done, the pain of being alone and broken promptly replaced the anger. He fell to the floor, frigid cold and emptiness consuming him. He wanted to be held, wanted to be loved again. He wanted to be back in Emma’s arms, even if it was only in a stupid dream. It was better than the pain he was in at the moment anyway. But sleep did not come easily, leaving Killian tossing and turning again and again as he tried to keep the dark thoughts away from his mind before his body and mind finally shut down.

* * *

Killian took another deep breath, enjoying the warmth coming from her body. He’d finally found her again. He felt her move in his arms, yet he kept his eyes closed and let her find a new position before he searched for her lips. But he couldn’t find them. Killian opened his eyes, realizing her golden hair wasn’t in front of him anymore. With a frown, he slowly stood up, looking around for her. The small flower bed where they had laid was devoid of her presence and so was the space surrounding him.

“Emma?” Killian’s voice echoed into the darkness, the green grass underneath his bare feet starting to fade.

“Swan, where are you?” He shouted into the empty blackness surrounding their sanctuary, more worried than he’d been a few seconds before when he’d held her in his arms.

She had never disappeared like that, it was completely new and he had no idea how to handle the situation. His heartbeat was already racing as he dared to walk just a few steps from the spot he’d been lying with Emma. He didn’t want to completely leave that small spot of life her presence usually created. She was surely around, somewhere. She couldn’t have simply disappeared like that. Anxiety slowly rose in him as the minutes passed without finding her.

“Killian!”

He spun around, facing the direction where he’d heard her voice. She wasn’t there but the landscape did change. The grass and tall tree were gone, replaced by a huge black hill. Killian tilted his head, trying to see more details but he could only discern the gloomy light emanating from the contours of the hill. A sight that made goosebumps appear on his skin. He had a bad feeling about what he was seeing.

“Over here, mate.”

Killian looked back at the top of the hill where a man suddenly appeared, holding a woman in his arms.

“Killian! Help m-”

Emma’s voice was muffled by the bastard’s hand pasted on her face. Killian’s eyes grew wild and his legs moved on their own, heading for the top of the hill to take his love back from her abductor. But as soon as he stepped foot on the hill, a force pushed him backward, not letting him anywhere near her, no matter how fast he tried to get to the top of the hill. Taking a deep breath, Killian stopped and racked his brain to form a plan of action. He couldn’t waste time in futile attempts, not when his Swan’s safety was at stake.

“Let go of her!” he yelled.

“Or what, boy? What ya think you’re gonna do?” The man chuckled, holding Emma tighter as she tried to free herself from his grip.

Killian saw her struggle and took another step toward her, feeling the ground under his feet move backward, stopping him from getting anywhere. Killian cursed loudly, making the man laugh again.

“What is it, lad? Can’t climb a small hill?” he taunted. He then drew Emma even tighter against him, stealing a small kiss from her cheek. The whimper that escaped her lips was all it took for Killian to lose it completely.

“GET YOUR BLOODY FILTHY HANDS OFF HER!” He wasn’t planning to fight but the man stepped over the line and made him see red.

“Oh, would you look at that? The good boy has teeth! If ya want her out of my hands, you’re gonna have to come and make me do it, boy,” he purred, hiding his face in Emma’s neck and taking a deep inhale of her scent. “But don’t brood over your plan for too long, or I might take a bite.”

“I’m going to fucking _kill_ you, you bastard,” growled Killian before he launched himself against the invisible barrier and somehow tore it apart, finally able to move toward them.

“Good luck with that, though,” he called, “You’ll have to kill my boys, first and foremost!”

Suddenly, Killian felt a swipe backwards before he fell on his back at the bottom of the hill, the impact stealing his breath. But he was quickly back on his two feet, shaking his head a little to clear the stars from his vision. Once he did, he discovered that Emma’s abductor was still on top of that cursed hill, but now it was also surrounded by hundreds of men, who appeared ready to kill anyone who might try to reach their leader. It only startled Killian for a few seconds, his mind racing as he tried to find a way to pass through the amassed army. But in the end, there was only one option: he would have to fight them all.

He stared at Emma one last time, the sight of her fueling his thirst for vengeance against the man who would dare steal from him. He would kill him. _But with what?_ Looking down at himself, Killian tried to find anything that he could use as a weapon, as even in this land of darkness, he still possessed both hands, leaving his good old hook out of reach. Or so he thought. A glimpse of silver around his belt caught his eyes. A smile appeared on his face as he found it was indeed his hook attached to the piece of leather. With the hook in his left hand and a small dagger in the other, Killian looked at all the faces in front of him. It suddenly occurred to him that none of them deserved to die for the asshole on top of the hill.

“ _They’ve decided to work with him,_ ” a voice whispered, and Killian couldn’t disagree with that. “ _It’s their choice, they’ll suffer the consequences of it,_ ” it whispered again.

Killian looked back at Emma, letting his instincts to save her take over. He would try to get to the top of the hill without killing the men between him and his Swan, but his need to save her was his priority. With a primal yell, he ran into the masses, starting to make his way up the hill. Unfortunately for the men, it became too much for Killian to dodge the attacks and keep moving forward. He had no choice but to gut his first man with his hook, pushing the dead body behind him. Then a second followed his mate to the ground, then a third and a fourth. Swords clashed against his hook and dagger, his swift moves allowing him to avoid most of the hits, but sometimes he was forced to take a step back in order to avoid a fatal blow. It was a slow dance, of moving two steps forward and four back. He was not making any headway, the mass of bodies between him and his Swan looking as it would never end. And Emma was still trapped, her cries reaching his ears between attacks. It was driving him mad, powerless to do anything to stop her pain. But the fire inside him kept growing and somehow he knew it would be the only thing that would truly help him to reach and save her. Time passed and Killian was still struggling, fighting opponent after opponent, the number of dead bodies steadily growing, making the ground slippery with their blood. Yet Killian kept going. There were only two words going through his mind. _Save_ and _Kill_ , there was no room for any other thoughts. He was so deep in his own mind that he couldn’t remember who he truly was anymore, he simply knew that he wanted to kill the man that was holding her. His Swan. My Swan. _Mine-Mine-Mine_.

The fog in his mind cleared just enough for him to realize what he was doing.

“ _She’s not yours, Jones! She’s not an object to possess,_ ” his voice screamed at him.

Just that small second of inattention resulted in giving the upper hand to his current assailant. Killian tried to strike, but a strong arm wrapped itself around his neck, holding him back. Killian gagged, his right hand dropping his dagger as he desperately tried to free his neck with it. He needed air. He slashed his hook through the air, hoping to make contact with a corpse, but it was only him against the man behind him. He was tightening his grip around his neck when dirty fingers came to cover his mouth, sending Killian into a panic. Closing his eyes, he focused on twisting his head enough to be able to open his mouth and bite the flesh pushed against his face. He heard the man’s scream and the arm around his throat disappeared as Killian got hold of a finger between his teeth. He couldn’t let go even if he wanted to, his jaw locked in place. The man kept struggling against him, trying to free his hand but it wasn’t until Killian felt the flesh give way that the man was free to collapse on the floor, holding his blooded hand against him. Killian jerked away, spitting the finger he’d bitten off out of his mouth. He was just as shocked as the man he’d wounded, but the screams of the new wave of fighters brought him back to the present. He still needed to move. With the coppery taste of the man’s blood lingering in his mouth, Killian held up the hook and grabbed a fallen cutlass before he dove back into the fight.

An eternity later, Killian stabbed the last soldier, pushing him to the side as he was finally only a few feet away from Emma. He blinked away the blood that dripped from his hair and with a cold smirk, he waved at the leader.

“Come on,” he panted, “Come here and let’s finish this.”

Killian took a moment to take a few deep breaths, regretting it right away as the smell of the blood turned his stomach upside down. He forced himself to swallow the nausea and focus on his final task. The man was fit as a fiddle while he was worn out by his previous fight. It was nothing like a fair fight. But was he fighting fair anymore? Killian snuffed out the voice and focused on the rage he’d felt against the man.

The fight was short but intense, both men struggling to stay upright while wading through the sea of blood. Killian was already covered with it from head to toe, so it wasn’t anything new for him. But the bastard knew how to fight and where to land his punches, making short work of disorienting Killian. Everything hurt and he was out of breath. If he could just get a clear shot at the man’s chest with his hook, he would win. But he didn’t have the strength to do it anymore. Unless he let go completely, letting the madness speak for him. He might have a chance to win, or he would die. But either way, he would die in that pool of blood if he didn’t do something fast.

“Is she really worth your life?” the man asked breathless, halting his attack on his opponent for a second.

“Aye.”

It wasn’t even a question. She was worth everything. He would give anything to save her and make sure she would live. With that decision, he let go. He stabbed him with his hook as silence engulfed them. Killian regained full cognizance of his action and waited to see the life die in the eyes of his adversary. Except when he looked down at the body he still held against him, it was his own face staring back at him.

“What the hell?”

“So that’s it, Jones. You did it,” the man whispered, a trickle of blood escaping the corner of his mouth.

“H-how? What are you?” Killian demanded, completely ignoring the previous question.

“Isn’t it obvious, mate?”

Killian’s jaw dropped. He remained speechless, so his double smirked and took a deep rattling breath before continuing.

“So tell me, was it worth it?”

“I, of course! He, you- Emma was-”

“You could have avoided this.” Killian’s eyes were glued to the same blue staring back at him. “How could you do this, mate? Why spill so much blood?”

Killian’s breath hitched, his eyes darting away from the dying man he held to look at the scene around him. Everything was red and black. There was no life anymore, only destruction. And he was responsible for all of that chaos.

“But Emma! She, she would have died if I hadn’t,” he whined in his own defense. He was sure she would have perished under the hands of the bastard that now looked like him. It must be an illusion, he couldn’t be the one to have held her since the start.

“Hasn’t revenge for Milah taught you anything, Jones? It never ends well,” his double stated in a dark voice.

Killian’s face broke in anguish, guilt pouring over his heart. He was right. And just like a series of dominos, this realisation led to another, the spiral bringing Killian down to the ashes. _What have I done?_

“How could Emma ever love you after that?”

Killian gasped, dropping the body and watching it slowly sink in the blood. He was shaking all over, his eyes fixed on the dry blood covering his hands, the fresh blood coating his hook slowly dripping into the pool he stood in. How could she love him? How could she love a man who just killed hundreds of men right in front of her. And for what?

“Killian.” He could barely hear her voice over the reproach assaulting his mind.

“Killian, look at me.”

His head snapped up and he looked at her. She was pained and he was sure it was because of him. He tried to hold back the tears threatening to spill as he broke the contact between them, looking down at himself and the man that was still looking at him, judging him. He was a monster.

“Kilian, stop that. Please.”

“How? How can you talk to me,” he cried, looking at her in anger. “How can you even _look_ at me? After what I’ve done!” She seemed shocked by his outburst, but a soft smile quickly appeared on her lips.

“Killian, you’ve done what you needed to, to protect me. I, I would have done the same for you.”

She sounded so sincere. Could it be true? Did she really love him that much?

“You have to break that cycle, Killian. Stop doubting your actions, stop doubting yourself.” Her voice was like a balm and he felt himself listening to her and doing as she asked.

“Don’t choose the easy way, Jones. You have another option!”

Killian stopped and look down at his double that was apparently still fucking alive. He had been judging him, making him doubt himself minutes ago, so why was he suddenly pleading with him not to go with his love? Was it another trick? But what disturbed him the most was that somehow he wanted to believe what he’d said and refuse the easy option that Emma was giving him. It was too much for him to handle at the moment. Killian shut his eyes and kneeled down, shaking his head until he could quiet all the voices screaming inside.

_“Killian, come back to me.”_

He looked up, tears flowing down his cheeks. Emma smiled down at him, extending her hand for him to take. There was only a slight hesitation before Killian let go of his head and grabbed for her, letting her pull him into her arms. He sniffed back his hot tears and let himself relax in her embrace. He felt her magic envelop them, transporting them back to the small flower bed and making any trace of blood on his body disappear, as if nothing had happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How will things ends you ask? Well ya have to keep reading! Thank you so much for every cocnuts that stick to this story, and i hope you’ll enjoy this new chapter! Oh and yes, you read right, that fic just evolved into a 10CH fic lol


	7. Chapter VI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Revelation hit the hero team as they finally find out who was the wolf. But with it, they might have incur the wrath of the DarkOne...  
> Today’s warnings >> well blood (light “gore”for some of you maybe). And ton of pain lol <<

A strong shiver shook him from sleep. His eyes remained closed but Killian was quickly aware that he wasn’t on his bunk or anywhere aboard his ship. Even without his sight he could feel the place was too narrow, and it was far too uncomfortable where he lay. A groan slipped past his lips as he turned himself on his side, feeling around with his hands to find where he was. The ground seemed littered with broken branches, pricking his skin and snapping under his weight, making his already stiff body ache even more. Killian forced his eyes open but the darkness of the place didn’t allow him to truly see where he was or what he was laying on. The few movements he made to see where he was however, had stirred the air around him enough that he was hit with a strong putrid smell. Being barely awake, it became too much to handle and Killian rapidly pushed himself on his elbow before spilling the content of his stomach. It took him a few minutes before he could regain his breath and for the aftertaste of the bile to fade. But the taste of blood remained. Killian frowned. _Why would I taste blood?_ , wincing as another branch got stuck between his shoulder blades as he rolled away from his mess, moving toward the exit of wherever he was before the turmoil of his emotions could paralyse him. The light of day slowly started to fill what looked like some sort of tavern.

“Where the hell am I?” His hoarse voice echoed in the small space.

Killian paused a moment, his tongue having found something stuck between his teeth. His frown deepened as he tugged the fragment free, though he regretted it as soon as he realised what it was. The light wasn’t the best, but it was clearly a small piece of meat. He quickly dropped it as the details of the place he stood in hit him all at once. What he had thought were only branches from trees turned out to be a mix of branches _and_ bones. Some were broken, others still complete with bits of flesh and blood on them. The sight of the place, _bloody hell where he’d been laying_ , turned his stomach and Killian felt the heaving start again and managed to hunch himself over just in time before he puked all over again. His eyes stung, tears quickly following as he tried not to look at the crimson shade of his vomit. _‘What happened? How did I get here?_ ’, screamed through his head as he was unable to speak at the moment, his body starting to tremble as his strength suddenly left him. He barely found a moment of rest before noticing that he was completely naked. His skin was covered with dried blood that began to crack as he crawled outside, desperately needing fresh air to try to soothe the growing anxiety and the nausea that kept swirling in his guts at the terrifying view all around him.

The light from the sun blinded him as soon as his head escaped the hell hole, leaving him staggering until the dizziness lessened. Killian lifted his hand, shielding his eyes from the light before looking around. Several flies buzzed around his head, making him flinch away in surprise, his brain trying to make sense of the situation. The outside air didn’t bring the respite he had thought he needed, his ears picking up the buzzing of what must be a swarm of flies. Blinking again, Killian slowly took two steps forward and discovered a landscape that was just as gruesome as what he’d seen around him when he first opened his eyes. He stared in shock at the bottom of the small hill where dead corpses were covering every inch of the grass, the insects flying above. Blood covered the bodies, disturbing proof of the carnage that took place at some point. Despite his best effort to hold himself together, Killian couldn’t fight back the rising bile, burning his throat while his eyes watered. It was a fucking massacre, the blood on his skin a burden even if he was unaware of its origin.

“ _Fuck_. I-I gotta get out of here.” Killian’s breaths came in short bursts, his body already moving away from the scene of the atrocity.

He couldn’t think clearly as he tried to escape, pictures of the bloody scene bombarding his brain, the same questions running on a loop inside his head. _What happened? Was it the beast? How did I end up there? Why can’t I remember?_

The blood and dirt covered his whole body making his lungs burn as he ran. Tears blurred his vision before he could even succeed in getting out of the cursed place. How could blood and dirt have gotten in his mouth? Every newfound detail weighed him down a little more. Lost in his terror, Killian stumbled several times on the few bones scattered among the untouched vegetation of the forest, Killian jerking away each time. He ran as far away as possible from the place, trusting his instincts to guide him somewhere else. _Anywhere else_. He ran for his life until he tripped on a huge root, tumbling down along a short slope, his yelp echoing through the trees until it was suddenly cut by his impact with the ground. If not for the rush of adrenaline inside his body, he was sure the impact would have knocked him out for good. After forcing himself to draw several deep calming breaths, Killian twisted himself into a half sitting position. Once his vision finally stabilized and focused, he became aware of the fresh dirt that had coated his skin, making him look like a mad man. Sure that that was exactly what he had become, he continued to look wildly around him until his heightened hearing detected the sound of water. Killian’s mind longed for the possibility to clean his body from every trace of the chaos he’d woken up in as he searched for the source of the sound. When he finally located it, a fatigued sigh left him as he ran for the blessing that lay before him.

Killian hastily stumbled into the icy water. He gasped and his muscles seized at the brutal change in temperature. But lucky for him, the waters weren’t deep, allowing him to leave his torso above the water. Shaking away the tremors, Killian started to clean his skin. Dirt was easily removed while it took much more effort to get rid of the blood. There was so much of it and he hadn’t even cleaned half his body. Killian felt the pit of panic rising at the sight of all the red. The water was rapidly becoming filthy and it was his fault.

Paddling against the flow, away from the foul water, Killian dared to take a dive to clean his hair and mouth. His teeth were chattering and his toes had gone numb but at least he was somewhat clean and the coppery taste in his mouth had faded away. Once out of the cold water, Killian listened for any sounds around him, fear at being caught causing him to tense even more than he already was. His hesitant steps turned into long strides as he sprinted to his ship. The forest landscape sped by, but Killian was too focused on getting to his ship to notice.

Killian crashed into his cabin, leaning heavily on the door to try to catch his breath. He was shaking like a leaf, his legs barely supporting his weight. He suddenly realized that the journey to the docks that would normally take him about fifteen minutes, even at a run, had actually taken less than half that.

_“You need to breathe.”_

Killian shut his eyes, doing what the whisper had said. He didn’t care who was behind it but he would take any extra help to calm down from his panicked state. As he forced himself to calm, his brain brought back the memory of a young Killian, frightened and locked down in one of the darkest compartments of a ship. The panic and anguish was the same but back then he wasn’t alone. Liam was there, holding him close.

_“You need to breathe, little brother. Breathe in and breathe out with me, Killian. It’ll be alright.”_

Soothed by the memory of Liam’s voice, Killian slowly did as he’d been once told, his arm wrapped around himself, as slowly his body started to relax. He slid down against the wood, sitting on the floor, listening to his now regular heartbeat and deep breaths. Killian’s eyes fluttered open as he started to shiver from the chill temperature of the morning. _Right, I’m still naked_. His gaze landed on his skin, still stained crimson though less then it had been before his bath in the river. Another shiver ran through his body and Killian lifted his head toward the small bathroom. Standing on shaking legs, he walked to the shower, his hand hovering the knob. _Did I refill the container?_ he suddenly wondered, swallowing down the anxiety the lack of water brought.

Wincing, his hand turned the knob and for a moment Killian thought he would be denied the precious water but the pipe rumbled, announcing the imminent arrival of the welcomed liquid. A loud sigh escaped him as the hot water fell on his skin and he took a moment to enjoy the feeling of the water cascading over him. The reddish color of the water falling to the drain brought an end to his reverie, bringing him back to his task. With shaky fingers, Killian grabbed the old sponge and started to rub at the remaining blood on him.

Everything was going well until he found a particular spot on his arm that wasn’t going away. Focusing on it, Killian scrubbed harder and harder at the patch, frowning as it remained unchanged despite his effort. The water that had been almost back to normal began to turn red once again. This time however, it was his own blood tingeing the water. Killian couldn’t see past the blood, his frenetic movement only stopping when his arms were too numb to continue, one from doing the scrubbing, the other from receiving it. The ruined sponge fell on the floor, Killian’s glazed eyes focused on the two red and shaking hands. He couldn’t make it disappear. No matter what the blood was encrusted on his skin and there was nothing he could do about it.

Despair filled him. He was exhausted, his body too sore to move again. Yet he would have to move to his bunk before he’d be able to rest. Not having the strength to walk to his bed, he began to crawl forward, collapsing onto the mattress as a prickling sensation invaded his body. Killian closed his eyes, letting the appalling scene he had woken in slowly empty from his mind and body.

~/~

Obviously, being able to sleep until he really felt rested wasn’t something that could possibly happen to him. His mind was still foggy, his body was far from ready to be awoken right now, much less by the bloody talking phone. He ignored the device until it stopped on its own, readying himself to fall back asleep. Only whoever was trying to reach him hadn’t given up and was calling again. Just as he had previously, Killian groaned and hid his head under his pillow, waiting for the call to end. He waited two minutes after the silence returned, making sure he would not be disturbed again before descending back into sleep. Ten minutes at the most passed before the phone rang again. This time Killian quickly got up and grabbed the infernal thing, pressing the green button while taking a big breath to yell at the asshole who couldn’t just leave him a message.

“Good, Jones! I need you to come meet us at Regina’s office. I don’t have time to explain right now, just come at once. It’s urgent.”

Just like that the call ended, leaving Killian stunned by David’s call. Shaking his head, Killian blinked away what was left of the fog, looking at the phone in his hand. _What the hell was that about? Had this been just a dream?_ As he began to think he had only imagined the scene, he received a text from David, urging him to ‘come ASAP’. Killian took a deep breath, pushing down the agitation provoked by the surprise call and focusing his thoughts on getting up from his bed and ready to meet David and the others for that so-called urgent matter. Finding his clothes proved to be a little more complicated than he thought it would be, his garments spread randomly around his cabin, his shirt completely ruined. Killian picked it up from the floor wondering why it was ripped apart. He had no memories of how his shirt had ended up like that. Another chime from his phone reminded him of the damn urgency he was supposed to be operating under. The shirt was forgotten as he reached for a new one from his closet. As he was exiting the room, his eyes caught a glimpse of the red inside the bathroom, making him frown. But he chased the concern away, _You don’t have time for that right now_ , he thought. He braced himself and started to jog toward the town hall.

The trip to the mayor’s office felt longer than usual, the empty streets of the town making Killian nervous. Something felt off and he began to understand why David had been so short on the phone. He was still pissed off though, being awoken when he had wanted nothing more than to sleep for a few more hours. Killian opened the main door of the office and was met by three tense faces. After a better look, Mary Margaret looked far more worried than tense compared to David and Regina, who couldn’t help but complain about how long it had taken him to arrive. It seemed that the atmosphere pervading the room would not help him stay calm, even less if ‘ _Madame Mayor’_ did not play nice.

“Alright. So now that we’re _finally_ all here, we have that huge problem to deal with.” Regina started, gazing at Killian before turning to turn on one of the tv screens.

“And what’s so important? I mean, surely you could have used, I don’t know, your magic perhaps? To get me here faster instead of complaining about the time it took me to cross the whole damn town by foot?” Killian grumbled.

“You didn’t tell him?” Regina stopped what she was doing to stare at the prince.

“We don’t know what we’re up against. I wasn’t going to tell him that on the phone knowing someone could have been listening!” David defended himself while his wife tried to calm him down.

“Bloody hell, what are you talking about?” Killian snapped. The faster they let him know about whatever it was, the faster they would be able to deal with it and he’d be able to schedule a nap.

“Overnight we had a massacre,” Regina answered coldly.

The Charmings didn’t seem too shocked by the news as they must already know about it, but the same couldn’t be said for him. Killian felt his blood run cold at the mention of the massacre. Every second that passed added to his anxiety. _It couldn’t be the same thing_ , Killian thought, hoping and praying that it was true. She couldn’t possibly be talking about what he had seen this morning. Regina finished loading the pictures they had of the scene and displayed them on the big screen. But it was the exact same place. Killian’s face turned white as flashes of the scene from his point of view resurfaced in his mind. His eyes focused on the carnage, jumping between the corpses on the ground, the reddish spots scattered here and there. The next moment Killian was moving toward the trash bin before throwing up until there was nothing left as more flashes from the night before kept assaulting him. His brain had locked the images away for his own good, but now, with the pictures before him, there was no holding them back. While he was perched over the bin, Killian felt Mary Margaret kneel beside him and slowly rub his back with small circles until the cramping came to a stop.

“Can’t hold your guts in front of a little blood, pirate?” Regina mocked, rolling her eyes at Killian’s behavior after seeing just a few pictures.

Killian collected enough strength to throw a death glare at the queen, mumbling a quick ‘Fuck off’ before the rising nausea cut his venom short. With Mary Margaret’s help, he was able to stand on his feet again, still feeling ill at the sight of the pictures, but at least now he was able to hold it together. David looked at him, a mix of emotions parading over his face before he turned his attention to Regina. After that Killian only half listened to the queen expounding on the situation, noticing there was nothing new or important enough for him to give her his full attention, especially with his stomach still rolling, until she came to her conclusion.

“All that to say, we do have a mole. The question is, _who_.”

Silence fell, making Killian frown and raise his head. All eyes were on him. Returning their stares one by one, Killian tried to understand what it all meant. They had a mole to find and then what? Why were they all staring at him? Did they honestly think that would make a difference? Killian frowned at Mary Margaret who quickly looked down, unable to meet his eyes. He turned his face to David, who swallowed thickly before looking at Regina, avoiding the pirate’s piercing gaze. Only the queen was still looking at him. Killian’s lips twitched as he felt his jaws clench.

“What is this about? Why are you staring at me?” he asked menacingly.

Though he was far from stupid, he still needed to hear their answer. From his perspective, they all thought he was the mole. Which wasn’t true, of _course_ it wasn’t true, he would have known it if it was. No, this was all Regina’s speculations. He’d been her scapegoat about everything going wrong in this town from the moment he couldn’t remember enough from Camelot to suit her taste. Every time something happened, she had fixated on him, telling everyone he was being shady. Killian fixed his eyes on her, trying to understand what her game was.

“Listen, Killian,” David started, bringing Killian’s attention back to him. “I...The mole, umh. It’s more-” David trailed away as the cold glare of the pirate focused on him. His eyes fell and he continued in a frail voice. “Someone might be the beast without knowing it. This isn’t against you directly...”

“Oh, is it?” Killian’s voice wavered, mixed with equal amounts of anger and sadness.

The Charmings had been supporting him since the start of all this mess. They had stood beside him despite Regina’s comments and insinuations. They couldn’t be changing sides now just because of what Regina had said to them. _They wouldn’t do that to me, right?_ But the guilty look plastered on the prince’s face told him that his _mate_ did exactly that. A revelation that hit him much stronger than he would have thought.

“So that’s it?” he asked, dumbfounded. He couldn’t believe his friends would abandon him like that. “You can trust the bloody queen, after all she’d done to you, but you can’t trust me just because she told you so?” Killian spat, gesticulating wildly between them, disgusted by the whole situation.

“I didn’t say we were trusting her-”

“They’re seeing the truth, Hook! And it appears that you’re too blinded by your emotions to do so.” Regina cut the prince off, her eyes never leaving Killian.

“What did you just say to me?” Killian answered the queen, taking a step toward her.

She didn’t answer right away, making Killian even more furious. She knew nothing about him or his emotions. He did. And right now all he wanted to do was hit her. Hit her and end her. It was taking everything he had to fight those instincts. With a huff, he turned on his heel and headed toward the exit, realizing when he touched the door that Regina had sealed it. _Bloody hell_.

“This isn’t over, Hook. No one’s leaving until we find the mole.”

“Then just say it, already!” Killian screamed, balling his fists at his side. “You’re dying to do it, so just fucking spill it!” Killian stalked back to stand in front of the queen, feeling the anger swirling inside him. It seemed inevitable that he would lose what precious control he now had. “Because I’m so fucking fed up with you! It’s always you. It’s all about you and your precious image and persona in this town!” His breathing became erratic the more he spewed his rage at Regina. “It’s not _possible_ that the _Evil Queen_ could have _anything_ to do with what’s going on.” Killian’s voice dripped with sarcasm. “Nooo, it _has_ to be Hook. And I’m _done_ with it. I’m done with fighting to show people that I’ve changed because no matter what, _I_ get nothing, no consideration at all. _I_ am _always_ the bad guy so just finish what you’ve started!”

At the end of his speech he was breathless, having poured all his frustration out. He knew he probably didn’t make a lot of sense, but it was just too much for him to take in silence. He was done playing nice when no matter what, everyone he knew came to the point where they stopped trusting him. He was betrayed, hurt, and broken. He didn’t care anymore if his behavior made them think he was the mole.

“Jones! We’re all thinking the same!” David interjected. “Stop now and let Regina finish this. We don’t need to come to blows!”

“David!” Mary Margaret gasped. “We agreed that we would wait until we had proof before accusing anyone!”

“I don’t care,” Killian growled. “Though one question, _milady_.” Killian directed his statement to Mary Margaret though his eyes remained on a red faced Regina. “How could you assume I’m the only one behind this? What tells you that _she_ isn’t the mole and is simply playing you to save her own ass?”

“How dare you…” Regina finally spoke, the fire burning inside her eyes clearly visible.

“Oh, but that’s the thing, Your Majesty.” Killian’s eyes danced with barely suppressed glee. “I _dare_ ,” he taunted, making sure to keep pressure on the sensitive nerve he had exposed in the queen with his tirade.

Killian’s smirk had barely blossomed on his face when Regina’s hand made contact, slapping him full force. Mary Margaret’s gasp echoed as Killian slowly lifted his head, rubbing his sore jaw. Yet his smirk was still in place.

“Did I say something to vex thee, _Your Majesty_?”

“You insufferable-”

“Look at you, who’s unable to control her emotions now?”

That earned him a second slap. The smirk disappeared, his skin still tingling from the previous blows. Moving before she could slap him again, Killian grabbed her wrist.

“Enough child’s play,” he whispered before he attacked.

~/~

Everything seemed to happen in slow motion as David and his wife stared at the two ex-villains as they engaged. There was no way this would end well. David’s mind swirled with the arguments both sides made before the situation became physical. While Regina’s arguments had merit, Killian’s arguments were just as valid. He would be lying if he denied that his stomach was twisted in fear when he called Killian earlier since he knew what exactly the real purpose of the meeting was. And also if he said it hadn’t pained him to watch the realization dawn on Killian’s face as he understood what was going on. Mary Margaret was right too. They’d agreed with Regina’s plans if she had the proof Killian was truly the mole, the beast behind all the mess without knowing it. But so far they still didn’t have that proof.

Mary Margaret’s yelp as Killian attacked made him blink, focusing on the fight before them. The look of hatred between Killian and Regina told David things were getting dangerous. This wasn’t about who the mole was anymore. Feeling responsible for getting them in this mess, David pushed his wife behind him as he stepped toward the adversaries, already shouting at them to stop. But his shouts were falling on deaf ears. Moments later Regina stumbled backward, disoriented. David’s eyes snapped to Killian’s face. What he saw in his friend’s face terrified him. _It was now or never_. David jumped between Regina and Killian, urging them one last time to stop, while Mary Margaret screamed his name in warning.

~/~

This was it. He was so close to being rid of her. With a deep roar, Killian hurled himself at Regina. Only Regina wasn’t in front of him anymore.

“THAT'S ENOUGH!”

Killian hit David full force, propelling them in the air as his brain processed what had happened. _Why did he step between?_ Killian screamed. David’s sudden action surprised him enough to see past the all consuming anger inside him. In the split second before they hit the floor, Killian realized that with the force with which he hit David, they would land near the fireplace and be in imminent danger of being stabbed by the poker that lay on the hearth. When they landed, Killian saw that David was going to be the one stabbed. _Shit!_ Killian cursed, trying to think of anything that would keep David from being hurt. In a flash of inspiration, Killian pushed his friend in the opposite direction of the danger, while he himself accelerated toward it.

What happened next was a blur. David came to a stop while he continued to roll, finally coming to a stop when he hit the hearth. Mary Margaret ran to David, her hands moving all over him, trying to make sure he was okay while Regina was still regaining her feet.

Killian groaned, managing to crack open an eye to see that David was safe and alive. He took a relieved breath, but the moment he did, pain exploded through his chest. David might be okay, but he obviously wasn’t. His right hand fumbled across his middle, stopping when he found the cold metal thrusting out of his left side. That explained the blinding pain with each breath. Killian fought to keep breathing, even if only in short pants, his attention focused on the pain.

“I’m fine! Sweetheart, I promise, I’m fine.”

“David! You, you,” Mary Margaret panicked, her heart still pounding at the scene she’d just witnessed. “I thought he had- how, how is that possible? You could have both been killed! But he, how did he manage to push you that far?”

“Mary Margaret…”

“That was inhuman! I can’t-”

“Snow!” David said louder, his wife’s ramblings finally coming to a stop. He got it, he was just as stunned as she was by what happened. But Killian was folded in on himself and shaking. There was no way he could ignore it. “We need to help him first.”

Mary Margaret blinked back her tears and turned to look at Killian, not prepared for how bad he looked. They quickly walked over to him and made quick work in freeing him from the poker. But as soon as he was free and his whimpers ceased, Killian started to gasp and fight them off, trying to double over again, his bloody fingers grasping his wound.

“Regina! You have to heal him!” David hollered at the queen who had finally approached them.

“Me? Heal the bastard that was trying to kill me two minutes ago?”

“Regina, don’t start. I know what happened, but we both know why we were here in the first place! You need to heal him so we could finally put an end to all this mess!”

“I’m not doing-” Regina started to protest, but David was having none of it.

“You’ll do it. Because it’s the right thing to do. Unless you do have something to hide?”

Regina threw him a cold glare, furious at being forced to heal the pirate that had been attacking her. She knew the damn prince was right though, and if she wanted to prove to them that she’d been right about Hook, they needed him alive. With a loud scoff she rolled her eyes and waved the Charmings off.

“Fine. Now get out of there so I can do it.”

“Thank you, Regina,” Mary Margaret whispered in hopes of calming her.

Killian was fighting to remain conscious despite the pain and the lack of oxygen, pushing away the hands that were trying to turn him on his back. He couldn’t breathe as the pain caused by his injury began to burn. The burn rapidly eased into something that wasn’t unfamiliar, the warmth spreading and slowly calming him instead of hurting him. Killian opened his eyes to see Regina’s glowing hand near him though she looked at him with a frown, her hand not touching him. _Wasn’t she healing me?_ he wondered, seeing that both David and Mary Margaret were also looking at him, stunned.

“Is he? Is he healing on his own?”

“It appears so. This isn’t my doing.”

“Well, it doesn’t matter, Regina. Just do what you have to do.”

 _I am healing on my own?_ Killian repeated to himself, his thoughts becoming more clear as the warmth spread through his body. But as David asked, Regina’s hand came right above his middle and her magic finished the healing work. Pushing himself up into a sitting position, Killian looked down to where his shirt was open, his fingers tracing the skin where the wound should have been. It was gone. He looked up to meet the faces of the others, swallowing hard when he found them all staring back at him. Regina’s hatred was clear and well, he would have been shocked if she didn’t after what just happened. But then there was Mary Margaret who was looking at him in shock, fear still lingering in her eyes. The same could be said for David, but he also saw concern. For him. _Could they be worried about me?_ Killian quickly looked down at his hands. After what he’d just said, what he’d just done, he had no idea what to think about them. About himself. Everything was jostling inside his head and he just didn’t know what to do or say anymore. _Perhaps Regina was right, perhaps something really is wrong with me._

 _“Perhaps you should stop fighting them and listen_ ” the voice inside his head whispered.

Clenching his jaw, Killian looked at the possibilities in front of him. Yeah, perhaps he should stop hiding and face the truth about what had become of his life. Face the fact that he might not be just him anymore. He had wanted answers about his emotional changes and the dreams and the fact that he had a fucking hand back. Maybe Regina was really able to solve this. But if it was real, then he’d have to face the consequences that came from that revelation. Fear swirled in his belly, images of the townspeople pushing him away for what he’d become. Of his friends looking at him in fear or disgust.

“Jones, you alright there?”

David’s warm voice caught his attention and when Killian lifted his head it was to see the sheriff, his mate, looking him in the eyes. There was no hate or fear, things he had expected to see. Despite everything, they stayed by his side. Maybe with his family by his side he would have a chance to overcome this, even if he was the damn mole without knowing it.

“Aye,” Killian answered softly with a nod. “ I… Let’s do what the queen planned.”

David held out his hand to grab and Killian took it, not looking away from his gaze.

“Let’s find the mole.”

* * *

Now that things had calmed down, Regina asked them to stand around the small table where she placed a luminescent white stone.

“Now then, as I said earlier, it’s almost certain that one of us is the beast that caused all the damage without knowing it. Moonstone,” she continued, nodding at the stone before them, “was used to discover werewolves among a particular citizenry.” She looked at each of them. “So, if one of us is a werewolf, he or she will react to the stone’s power.”

Killian threw her a cold glare for pretending she didn’t already know who it was but she didn’t acknowledge it. They had already settled their argument earlier, no need to do it again. No, Regina knew she wasn’t the one in danger here, she had already tried the stone on her and she hadn’t reacted to it. That left only the Charmings and Hook to verify.

“Okay, in a few moments the stone’s aura will start to have its effect. Normally, the effects to expect would be higher body temperature or elevated heartbeat. Any questions?”

Killian watched as David and Mary Margaret shook their heads, holding hands for a moment before focusing back on the stone. Right, this was the moment of truth. As much as Regina’s little speech had gotten under his skin - _couldn’t she just say “me” once and for all?_ \- he had to put his feelings aside and focus on the plan. As the stone began to shine in the middle of the table, Killian’s mind was flooded with equal parts doubt and hope. Maybe, just maybe he wasn’t the mole. After the fight, he began to think that maybe he was. Or at least entertain the possibility. After all, it would certainly explain all of the things that happened to him these last few months. But how could he willingly hope that he was the creature? No matter what it might explain, he couldn’t fully accept it. No it had to be someone else, changing his mind as fear started to grow in him. Killian had been so focused on his internal debate that he missed the way his heartbeat was slowly but surely increasing. Taking a deep breath, he looked up to see how everyone else was doing. They all seemed tense by virtue of what was at stake, but they seemed to be completely unaffected. Unlike him. His heart beat even faster at the realisation, beads of sweat forming on the back of his neck. Another minute passed, making Killian think he could still keep his emotions under control, until his gaze met Regina’s. In that moment, he knew it was over. That she had seen it despite his best efforts to keep it hidden.

Swallowing, Killian broke the eye contact, blinking away the rush of emotion while trying to steady his breathing.

“It’s ok, I know,” Regina commiserated, gently. The lack of judgment in her voice surprised Killian.

“What do you mean,” David spoke at his turn, following the queen’s gaze. “Wait, how-how can you tell?”

“I’m observant, Nolan,” she huffed, before putting the stone away. “Now let me show you what your eyes failed to see.”

“Hey!”

Regina took a small medical device from the drawer and presented it to Killian. “Give me your hand, if you please.”

Killian froze, staring at the device. _That’s it._ _It was him_. But how?

“Hook, I can hear you thinking from here. Just place your finger here, so David can have his proof and we can move on to the next step.”

Killian looked at the prince, searching for reassurance, anything to help him calm his racing mind. The man nodded and it was enough for Killian to break through his stupor and do as he was told. He placed his pointer finger in the device and after what felt like never-ending seconds, it beeped, the numbers on the screen fixed. The Charmings came closer to look at the numbers while Killian barely dared to look at them. His heartbeat had almost tripled as if he’d run a race; as for his body temperature, he knew it was way too high for a human. Regina poofed the device away, giving a small smile to Killian.

“It’s okay, Killian. I promise, we’ll find a way to fix things.”

Regina’s sudden support only left him more confused.

“But, I-I don’t remember anything,” he finally stuttered, shame filling him. “I- How could it be _me_?”

His panicked gaze stopped on the queen, then on each Charming. How could it be him? The question was now stuck on repeat in his brain as he tried to process what was going to happen to him now, but also how it could have all happened in the first place. Memories of fragments of dreams, unusual locations in the morning, and damaged clothes swirled inside his head. Nothing was making sense anymore, his turmoil showing on his face.

Regina bit her lip, not knowing how to answer that question, but thankfully Mary Margaret stepped toward Killian with a tight smile on her lips.

“You know, Ruby didn’t know at first either. We never really knew who was the wolf until that terrible night where she accidentally killed her boyfriend,” Mary Margaret explained softly, trying to meet Killian’s eyes. “And she wasn’t in control of it either, not until she embraced who she was. Until she accepted the wolf inside her.”

Though it helped a little, the explanation mostly added to Killian’s panic. He was even more pale than before, his eyes not leaving the floor. Mary Margaret looked at him anxiously until David joined her and placed one arm around her shoulders, hugging her to him and his other hand on Killian’s shoulder.

“But like Ruby, we’ll stand by your side, Jones. The fact that you’re apparently the wolf won’t change anything, okay? I know we- I haven’t shown that the way I should have, but we will, mate.”

Killian couldn’t look up at his friend. David may think that nothing would change, but that wasn’t true. It was changing everything. Nothing could be the same anymore. How could it be if he was the one responsible for all the trouble around town? Of the bloody event from this very morning? Feeling that the pirate was slowly drowning in his thoughts, Regina coughed and clapped her hands together, managing to catch everyone’s attention.

“Alright. Now that we’re certain who’s the mole, I’m going to make sure that whoever might have used you, like the Dark One for instance, won’t be able to do so from now on.”

“And how are you going to do that?” Killian said, bitterness lacing his tone, the mention of the Dark One possibly using him making his heart sting.

“Basically, I will cast a spell that will copy the effect of a full moon. That should trigger and force the shift, but I’ll stop it before the wolf can take control.”

As she explained, Killian winced at the plan. Dread filled him. How could she be certain it would work? How could she be so sure the wolf wouldn’t take control of him? How could she trust him? How could he trust himself?

“Ah, and before I forget, you’ll need to drink this. It will help the magic. Once the spell is over, you should be able to remember what happened and have full control during the next full moon. Which will be upon us sooner rather than later.”

“Are you certain?” Killian asked, unable to keep the burning question to himself. Both David and Mary Margaret looked at Regina for her answer.

“It’s magic,” she offered in explanation. “You can never be 100% sure. But I’m as sure as I can be.”

She seemed confident enough. It was the only plan they had, so they had to go with it. David and his wife nodded at each other before looking at Killian, who still pondered his decision. With a deep sigh, he brought his hands to his face to massage his temples. _To hell with it. They needed answers and this was the only way to find them._

“Alright, just give me that potion already,” Killian mumbled, trying to relax his posture as Regina went to the next room to retrieve the vial.

The potion was anything but appealing. If it was only the visual, Killian could deal with it, but the smell and taste were generally dreadful and this potion was no different. Feeling his belly clench after drinking it, Killian brought his hand to his mouth trying not to gag too much until the feeling passed.

“You really have a weak stomach for such a legendary pirate,” Regina teased.

“Aye, well we all have weaknesses. But I could return the favor. Your potions really taste like-”

“Alright! Alright! No need to go down that road again.” David cut in, not wanting to have to deal with the two of them fighting all over again.

“Anyway. You two step aside. Jones? Come here. Once I cast the spell, I’ll simply need you to fix on the image of the moon it creates, understood?”

“Aye. Bring it.”

Killian waited nervously, watching the queen’s hand move as she cast her spell. Just as she had explained, a small spark rose in the air just above their eye level before it widened and took on the shape of the full moon. Releasing a shaky breath, Killian focused on the light in front of him, feeling his heartbeat speed up just as it had before with the stone. As the tension within him slowly rose, he started to clench and unclench his hands, his jaw muscle twitching while he waited for something to happen. Though nothing was happening yet, Killian could feel the burning gaze of the others on him as they waited as well. After a good five minutes with no sign of the change coming over him, Killian’s gaze wandered, coming back to the moon from time to time.

“Keep your eyes on the moon, Jones. It should do something anytime now.”

“Well, it bloody isn’t,” Killian muttered with a growl.

The only change he was aware of was the increasing tension in his body, drawing him tight like a bow. His fists continued to clench when suddenly a shiver worked its way down his spine as he finally felt something change. He looked down at his hands. Claws appeared, quickly followed by aching fangs and what he knew were vibrant yellow eyes. He released a shuddering breath as he tried to keep looking at the image of the moon. His instincts fought back, screaming at him to look away from what was causing the change. Shaking his head, Killian forced himself to continue, even though internally, he still held back. He wasn’t ready for this. He never asked for this.

Regina took a step closer to Killian as he began trembling like a leaf. “I know it’s hard, and scary, Jones, but you have to. Don’t fight the spell. It will hurt more if you do.”

Deep down, Killian didn’t want to resist. He didn’t want this to hurt. All he wished was to get it done so he could go somewhere else and deal with all this on his own time. But that was far more easier said than done. Closing his eyes, Killian took several breaths before willing his body to surrender to the transformation. A huge shiver shook his entire body. He just managed to bite back the pained groan trying to escape his mouth, but he wasn’t prepared for the gripping pain coming from his navel, the force bringing him to his knees as he tried to contain his cry of pain. As his hands slammed on the floor to support him, the pain only increased, spreading throughout his entire body.

“Don’t try to hold it back, Killian!” Regina shouted.

The pain was so intense that he couldn’t hold his screams back if he tried. But even letting them loose didn’t help. If anything, it only heightened the agony he was in. Killian’s fingers tried to grip the floor, for something to hold on, the claws leaving gouges in the marble floor of Regina’s office. His body burned, his gums numb from the clenched jaw, his skin and muscles assaulted by dozens of needles. All he could hear was his broken voice, a mixture of sobs and whimpers that slowly morphed into something more animalistic while he could hear his clothes start ripping appart. Killian squeezed his eyes shut, trying to stay in the present, to hold on to his fading consciousness, but it was too overwhelming.

 _“I can’t!”_ His mind screamed, before he lost his hold on reality.

* * *

Watching as the spell took its toll on Killian was something David fervently wished he could have skipped. He wished he could have spared his wife from the horrible spectacle as well. As Killian’s scream echoed through the room, he also wished he could have spared his friend all that pain. Watching the transformation was making David sick and he kept looking at Regina, anxiously waiting for the moment she would end his pain. But that moment never came.

“Regina! Isn’t that enough?” he cried, holding tight to his shaking wife.

“No. It needs more time,” she answered, her eyes focused on the pirate writhing in pain on the floor.

The minutes seemed to slow as they waited, watching as more werewolf features started to manifest in Killian’s body. But as the transformation began to slow down, Regina’s hand glowed with magic, making the spell stronger until Killian’s body reacted to it again accompanied by an agonizing scream.

“Come on, Hook! Look at the fucking moon, once and for all!” she snapped, angrily.

Killian unexpectedly looked back at her, his body shuddering as he rose on all fours. The yellow irises were gone, replaced with blood red ones, sending a chill through David. _This can’t be good_ , he thought, belatedly realizing that Mary Margaret had stopped shaking in his arms and was currently trying to move toward the pirate.

“What are you doing?” David exclaimed.

“He’s losing control David! He- it’s like with Ruby. He’s letting the wolf take control!” Mary Margaret answered, her voice rising with worry.

“Goddamnit, Regina!” David yelled, Snow’s meaning dawning on him.

But the queen seemed hypnotised by the murderous gaze of the pirate. David panicked, not knowing which was more worrisome. The fact that Killian was no longer with them or the fact that Regina wasn’t focused on her task.

“REGINA!” he yelled again. “Make it STOP!”

Finally, the queen blinked and took a step back from a growling Killian. With a move of her hands, the spell faded into nothing. Unfortunately, it didn’t seem to help his friend. Dread filled David as he watched helplessly as his mate continued to change into the beast.

“Killian! Killian, please!” Mary Margaret begged, trying to catch the gaze of the man in front of her. “You have to come back! Remember what we said, you have to accept the wolf! Please Killian!”

* * *

Killian gasped as his eyes opened, darting back and forth as he took in his new surroundings. Everything was silent, even his labored breath seemed to be engulfed by the calm atmosphere of the place. Blinking several times, recognition came over him. Killian tried to remember when he had been here before, recognizing the place but it was as if the memory was right in front of him yet just out of his reach. Though it didn’t stop him from remembering a small part of it. He had already been in that underwater space, bathed, for lack of a better term, in the serenity surrounding him. The distant sound of the waves reached his ear and he felt his body relax, the pain slipping away into the blue silence in which he floated. Closing his eyes, Killian let himself be consumed by the calm. He nearly fell asleep, if it wasn’t for the regular pull coming from his middle. Frowning, he looked down, his hand pushing his shirt away so he could inspect his belly. Though there was nothing visible, he could feel the pull emanating from his belly button. Curious to see what it was, he brushed his fingers around the spot and was hit with a wave of chaotic voices. Wincing at the headache it produced, Killian wrenched his hand away from his stomach, the pain immediately fading away. Silence was back, blissful ignorance overtaking him until his ears caught the muted growl behind him. In a swift move, Killian turned himself and was met with a giant black wolf, the growl now unmistakeable in his ears. Panic bloomed as he tried to move away from the red eyed beast. But he was floating in the void, unable to get away from the creature, while the animal seemed to have no trouble moving. Cursing, Killian started to pant in fear, anticipating the moment the wolf would lunge at him. Thankfully, as the wolf charged, he managed to avoid the attack at the last second, throwing himself to the right. The beast groaned and turned itself, ready to attack again. This time, Killian was more prepared and was able to avoid the wolf with more ease but his breath was stolen by the yank from his middle.

“What the hell?”

_“Jones! … You have to stop!”_

“What?”

The voice spoke again, but Killian couldn’t focus on it as he dodged another attack. The beast seemed to get angrier each time he missed.

“Bloody hell! I can’t fucking do both,” Killian grit out, his focus once again taken by the whisper calling his name.

_“Killian! Killian please! You have to stop fighting it!”_

The voice was finally making a little bit more sense now. He was even more convinced it was something important as the beast seemed to react to it and charge again as if to stop him from listening to what was being said.

“Why should I?” he shouted back into the void, hoping for an answer.

Instead, he only got another attack, one that he didn’t dodge, the sharp claws of the beast tearing his shirt apart as well as the skin underneath. Swallowing the pain produced by the wound, Killian hunched in on himself, his hand over the laceration, trying to protect himself from any further damage.

“You fucking beast,” he grumbled, fixing the wolf with as an intimidating a stare as he could manage. The creature ignored him as he licked the blood his paw had collected.

_“Remember Killian! … You have to come back!”_

Killian clenched his teeth, standing up to face the monster. Remember what? He didn’t exactly have enough time between attacks to remember whatever the voice was talking about. And then ‘come back’; why? Where? The wolf finished its treat and ran toward its prey again. As it jumped, Killian’s mind finally connected the dots, all memories back together. With barely enough time he moved again, feeling the paw of the wolf ruffling the top of his hair. A second later and it would have chopped his head off.

“Alright. Better find a way out of here before I get killed,” he panted, his side injury slowing him down.

The wolf suddenly stopped its attack, though it didn’t lower its hackles or aggression toward Killian. It stalked toward him before it began circling him. Killian moaned and forced himself to follow the movement of the beast, not wanting to let it out of his sight.

“A little help here wouldn’t be amiss,” Killian yelled above him before focusing back on his enemy.

The wolf stared at him with malice, chilling Killian to the bone. He felt another and then another strong pull at his navel, until he dropped his attention from the wolf and focused on the sensation. Letting his instincts lead him, Killian closed his eyes and let his fingers close around the imaginary link that was coming from his middle. As before, his mind was flooded by the voices and screams, but he held on until there was only one voice. The same voice as earlier, but this time it was crystal clear and the sentences were complete.

_“Remember what we said. You have to accept the wolf, Killian.”_

His eyes snapped open. He was facing the same wolf, though the space they were in was pure white now and he could feel a hard floor under his feet. Astonished by the change, Killian took a moment to look around and realised his wound was gone. But the moment of respite was short lived as the wolf started to growl again, steadily walking toward him, running when it had crossed half the distance separating them. Killian took a few steps back, his heart beating wildly against his ribs before he remembered what the voice had said. _You have to accept the wolf inside you_. Swallowing down his fear, Killian closed his eyes, listening to the ragged breath of the animal as it ran toward him. He opened his eyes just as the wolf leaped, its muzzle wide open, sharp fangs glimmering in the light. Every muscle in Killian’s body was ready for him to run for his life, but his resolve held strong. He dropped to his knees, his arms wide open to catch the wolf and closed his eyes once more.

White light exploded behind his eyelids and Killian couldn’t stop the scream that passed his lips as he felt all the memories, everything from the past few months, hit him all at once. It had all been in there. All this time, the memories had been locked inside him. He remembered everything. And now that the magic that had once severed the links between the memories had disappeared, Killian saw and felt each piece connecting to the other as it should have always been. While his brain was occupied in examining those connections, voices echoed in his head.

_“Killian? Jones, come on. Come back! Jones, it’s over! You have to come back!”_

His blurred sight slowly cleared, enabling him to focus back on the present as his chest heaved with his stuttered breaths.

“Jones? You’re back? Come on, pirate. Look at me!”

Regina’s voice filled his ears and finally Killian realized he was inside her office, watching his hands slowly shift back to their human form. He blinked again, somehow knowing his irises were back to blue, the pupils slowly resuming their natural shape. He looked up at the queen, who gave him a relieved smile. The Charmings sighed as well. _I almost killed them_ , Killian realized, now fully able to connect the memories of the wolf with his own. That fact was far more painful than the terrible pain his body was currently enduring as bone and muscle rearranged and shifted back to human form. In a strangled whimper, Killian curled in on himself, his hands holding his head as he let go of the remaining emotional pain he was unable to contain.

“Snow, don’t! He’s... it’s not safe!” David’s muffled voice reached his ears.

Forcing himself to move in the midst of his breakdown, Killian crawled toward a corner of the room, away from the others, toward a table that he could hide himself under for the time being. He needed a safe place to allow himself to take in everything that had just happened.

They all watched as the sobbing pirate turned his back on them and hid himself under the table. Once settled, the only movement they could see was small tremors seizing his shoulders, along with the completely wrecked sounds coming from him.

“He’s going to need some time to heal.”

“Can’t you do something to help him?” David interrupted Regina, trying to avoid speaking too loudly.

“Sadly, there’s not a thing I can do. He needs to do it on his own. _Helping,”_ she put the word in quotation marks, “the recovery could interfere with the memories. I, you saw how it went. I say we don’t push our luck that far.”

Once free from David’s arms, Mary Margaret had walked over to Killian, kneeling next to him, her eyes scanning his body with concern.

“Darling, we should go- Snow? What are you doing? I don’t think-”

“If we can’t help with magic, I can at least try something else,” she whispered back, determined to help Killian, even if it was just by staying at his side.

Looking at him still shaking, she first tried to speak softly to him, trying to see how he would handle her being this close. After a few minutes with no reaction, she tried to lay her hand on his shoulders and gently stroke his back to bring him more comfort. Though Killian did flinch away from her touch at first, curling further in on himself while his cries got louder, Mary Margaret didn’t go away. She was happy to see that after a few more light caresses, Killian finally relaxed into her touch. Seating herself more comfortably, she smiled and focused on giving him as much comfort as she could while David and Regina moved to the other side of the room to continue their conversation.

~/~

“He’s finally asleep,” Mary Margaret announced in a whisper, turning to look at Killian’s still form, the gentle rise and fall of his shoulders making her smile again.

“Good. As it’s going to take time for him to fully recover, I’m going to go see how Henry is doing and make sure the protection spell on your house is still intact. Either of you want to come along?”

“David will go,” Mary Margaret decided, “I’ll stay here with Killian.” She kissed David goodbye before realizing she’d forgotten to ask Regina something. “Oh, I was thinking, is there any chance that you could conjure a cot or something for him to lay on? Or some new clothes for when he wakes up.”

“I can do that, yes.”

With a flick of her wrist, a purple cloud enveloped Killian. When the cloud dissipated, Killian was tucked into a small bed with a pile of fresh clothes on the table next to him.

“Thanks, Regina.”

* * *

“David!” Mary Margaret scolded, knocking David’s hand away from the plate. “This is for Killian!”

“Come on, Mary Margaret! Just one. One missing fry isn’t going to kill him.”

“We both know it wasn’t your first,” she replied, glaring at him.

Killian slowly woke, the bickering of the couple coming from across the room having torn him from his sleep. Unmoving, Killian listened to them as he started to wiggle his fingers and toes. Cracking his eyes open, he realized he was laying on a small bed. Grateful for the comfort it brought to his sore body, he recognized Regina’s footsteps entering the room by the clicking sound of her high-heeled shoes on the marble floor. Careful not to move and draw attention to himself, Killian focused on the conversation.

“Everything’s good. The spell on the loft is untouched. How has he been? Any change?”

“He’s barely moved or made a sound since you left. Do you think he’s going to be okay?”

“He’s a survivor, he’ll be fine,” David said. “Right?” he asked, turning to Regina.

“It’s been six hours. He should come back to himself soon,” she replied.

“Killian?”

All faces turned toward the small cot where the pirate had sat up, his back still toward them. Mary Margaret looked at Regina in question, worried by Killian’s silence. The queen lifted her hand at the petite brunette before taking a better look at the pirate.

“If you need more time, there’s a bathroom you can use. It’s just outside the room,” she proposed gently. She couldn’t help but feel like the man might want to collect himself before facing them, and a shower would maybe do him good.

Killian nodded and slowly stood up, his hands grasping his elbows tight as he walked outside. The emotional pressure he felt lessened as he entered the small bathroom and was finally alone. But there was still so much going on inside his mind. With trembling hands, he undressed himself, the ragged remains of his clothes falling to the floor, and stepped under the lukewarm water. Taking several steadying breaths, Killian closed his eyes. The water slid down his head and skin as he let his thoughts wander, reviewing everything he had remembered. There were many things that he would have to tell them, so many details that would help them fight against the plan of the Dark One. But before doing any of this, he needed to find the courage to face them. Dread filled him, his eyes opening to the sight of blood on his hands. Swallowing past the lump in his throat, he squeezed his eyes shut and shook his hands, willing the vision to go away. _There’s no blood there anymore_ , Killian repeated again and again. The vision faded, but the claws had reappeared at the memory of the blood bath from the morning before. Clenching his jaw, his eyes focused on the end of his fingers, the claws withdrew at the simple command of his mind. At least that was useful, Killian huffed, grateful for Regina’s spell despite the pain it produced in him. Once dry and dressed in clean clothes, Killian glanced at his reflection in the mirror. Outside, he looked exactly the same, but he knew that there were differences hiding beneath the skin. On the inside, he wasn’t truly the same anymore. Casting his glance down, he turned around and headed out to meet the others, hoping he wouldn’t suffocate under their condemnation.

As he re-entered the room, he was welcomed by a relieved Mary Margaret, who jumped off her seat to meet him, already fussing around.

“Oh, and here, we saved it for you! I just hope it’s still hot.” She chewed on her lips, suddenly concerned about his food.

“Darling, why don’t you let him breathe? I’m sure the food will be good and Regina can,” he waved his hand around in an attempt to copy Regina’s conjuring, “still warm it up a bit.” David slowed her down, tugging at her hand until she sat back on her seat.

Killian stood stock still just inside the door. Mary Margaret’s reaction to him was the last thing he expected after what happened. Shaking himself before it got awkward, he forced a small smile at the woman’s affection before coming over and taking the seat that had been saved for his return, eying the plate. After what he’d just seen, he wasn't sure he could stomach it, but for the sake of Mary Margaret he picked up a fry. It had cooled down, but to be honest, it wouldn’t have made a difference as the food had no taste whatsoever. Trying to hide how hard it was for him to swallow, Killian focused on pushing back the rush of memories from this morning that had resurfaced after trying to eat something. Food really wasn’t a good idea. David eyed his untouched plate and Killian remembered that the prince had been pilfering those fries before he woke.

“You can have them,” he murmured, pushing the plate toward him.

Though before David could take it, Mary Margaret put her hand on his.

“But Killian, you’ve barely touched your food!”

“I, to be honest, I’ve lost my appetite,” Killian stammered, hiding his hands under the table to avoid any contact.

He didn’t want to hurt Mary Margaret, but he felt too guilty at the moment to be able to handle any closeness at all. From her, from anyone. Now that he remembered everything in such detail, he couldn’t stop himself from hating how weak and naive he’d been, letting the Darkness get the best of him. Allowing the Dark One to use him as her toy. Her weapon. Feeling the guilt overcome him for what he’d done as the wolf, Killian took a moment to gather his courage before speaking the truth and admitting to his crimes.

“I...” he began, “I did it.” All eyes focused on him and he had to close his own to continue. “I was the one who was behind the slaughter you discovered this morning.” His voice broke.

“Oh, Killian,” Mary Margaret whispered, her hands covering her mouth in emotion, making Killian shut in on himself even more. “But, it, it wasn’t _truly_ you. You know that, right?” She spoke softly, wanting to take back the pain she had caused.

Hearing the true concern in her voice, Killian looked at her, amazed that he saw no blame in her gaze. Looking back at his hands, playing with his rings, he clenched his jaw as he tried to wrap his mind around what she was implying. It wasn’t him who had made the decision, made the order, it had been the Dark One. But he had still carried it out, he did exactly what he’d been told.

“Aye...but it was still me. I, I didn’t even resist the order. I should- I should have fought back,” he replied, feeling the anger toward himself as well as his despair grow. He should have fought tooth and nail since the start.

“You didn’t know it was you,” Mary Margaret countered, searching his gaze.

“Even if you had, you couldn’t have,” Regina interjected. “Her power is too strong and apparently she’s been making her moves slowly and meticulously so no one could interfere with her doings.”

Killian knew both women were right, but he couldn’t forgive himself that easily. Nor was this the place to do it. Now that Regina had talked about the Dark One’s plans, he forced himself to focus on what he needed to say. That was more important, his feelings could wait a bit longer. Before he could say something, a sound from above reached his ears. Lifting his head, Killian frowned as his eyes searched the ceiling while Regina continued to explain her plan to fight back. Keeping his concentration on what he’d heard on the roof, Killian stood up and headed for Regina’s desk, grabbing a piece of paper and writing a quick note. If he could hear her on the roof, there was a good chance the Dark One was using her magic to hear what was being said and perhaps even watch them. Discreetly handing the note to Regina, Killian tried to act normal while still listening to the faint heartbeat he could hear above. Regina barely halted her speech before casting her spell and Killian could no longer hear their unwelcome visitor.

“Alright, pirate. What is it?”

“She’s been spying on us,” he answered coldly, using all his heightened senses to make sure he couldn’t feel her presence.

“How do you know?” David asked in a tense voice.

“Werewolf,” Killian reminded him, looking back at them now that he was sure they were safe to discuss what needed to be discussed. “Now about your plan, Your Majesty, we might need to hurry, I’m afraid she heard enough to know that you found a way to break through the memory spell she had on me,” he finished through clenched teeth, looking one more time at where he was sure _she_ had been listening.

“Alright. But now you can tell us what you know about her plans. Surely she had shared a few details with you or at least you’ve been able to catch some clues?” Regina asked.

“Aye. However, it will disappoint you to know that she hasn’t exactly been chatty about the plan for the wolf. But I do know that the Darkness fears us. It knows that together we can stop it. That’s why it has used me as a distraction for all of you. But she must have had enough time by now to prepare for the Darkness’s grand plan.” He stopped a moment, letting his words sink in before adding a more positive note. “As bad as all this sounds, I also know that Emma’s still somewhere in there. She’s still a danger to the Darkness. And so am I, now that I can remember things. Which gives us a slight advantage, if we can make use of it.”

“Okay then, I’m going to make preparations. I’ll contact you if I need any more information, Jones. But for now, you should all go home and rest up for the fight,” Regina concluded, her mind already occupied with what she had to do for the next day.

“You should come with us,” David announced, taking Killian by surprise. “If the Dark One decides to pay you a visit, at least Regina’s protective spell on the house will give her a hard time and Regina will know.”

“You sure, mate?” Killian asked, suddenly fearful about his capacity to keep control of the wolf. He had managed to accept it, but would he be able to control it after a full shift? He couldn’t risk the safety of the others just so he wasn’t alone if he needed to deal with the Dark One.

“I am. Now let’s go.”

* * *

David and Killian were called to supper just as they finished erecting a tent for Killian to sleep in.

“You’re sure you don’t want to sleep in the spare room?” David asked for the fifth time since they’d started building it.

“Aye, mate. I’ll be fine here. This is already much more comfort than I was planning on having.”

“Hold on,” David exclaimed, “You weren’t planning on sleeping under the stars in our garden, were you?” With curses and Storybrooke in general, David had completely forgotten how it was to not sleep under a roof. Killian’s eyebrow rose and David was startled to realize that apparently his friend desired to sleep with no shelter, directly on the ground, stargazing all night. David stared at him. “Alright, but you’re at least sleeping in the damn tent. I don’t want to see you lying on my grass, understood?”

“If it makes you feel better Dave, I’ll sleep inside the tent. I give you my word.” Killian chuckled before he zipped the opening so they could go inside and eat.

While he wasn’t ready to eat a whole meal, the light soup Mary Margaret had prepared was perfect and Killian was able to enjoy his entire bowl without any problem. Reassuring the couple one last time, Killian bid them goodnight and went to install himself in his shelter, looking at the sky through the opened skylight in the top of the tent. The moon shone in the sky, sending a shiver down his spine as he realized it was almost full. His gut clenched at the thought, the fear of not knowing how he would handle a shift paralysing him on the small air mattress. Closing his eyes, Killian focused on his breathing, calming his mind and racing heart. _Things will be alright, Jones,_ he told himself until he felt the agitation fade away from his body and he slowly fell asleep.

A steady flow of whispers filled his ears, slowly bringing him back to consciousness. He opened his eyes, pushing the sleep away as he sat on the mattress, frowning as he tried to locate the source of the voices that kept echoing inside his head. As he made his way out of the tent, the whispers became clearer and louder. The cold air made him shiver, his hands rubbing up and down his arms as he searched for the origin of the voices. It took him ten long minutes before he realized the voices were calling him, luring him to join her. Killian snapped out of the spell as he realized it was the Dark One calling for its beast. Unfortunately, the moment he accepted the truth, the shift the Dark One had initiated was triggered, his blue eyes turning red. Staggering forward, Killian gasped several times while his body surrendered to the forced transformation. The wolf clawed at his insides, desperately trying to free itself. Pushing himself to see past the terrible pain, Killian fixed his eyes on the moon, swearing to himself he wouldn’t let go, he would resist the call of his master. Collapsing to the ground, Killian tried to muffle his howls of pain as he fought to remain in control. Keeping his eyes shut, he felt himself draw closer and closer to the edge, that if crossed would send him to the back of his mind, a slave to his own body. Interminable minutes later, the whispers that had tried to drown him finally ceased, along with the agony. Gulping down gasps of air, Killian lay on the grass, letting the tremors in his limbs fade away. Once he felt confident enough to open his eyes, he slowly rose from the ground, his gaze meeting his reflection in one of the car windows. Two glowing bright blue eyes looked back at him.

_I made it! I resisted it!_ Killian was overjoyed as he tried to breathe normally, a deep chuckle escaping his lips. The sound of it was foreign to his ear, pushing him to look closer at his reflection. Finally, Killian understood why. It wasn’t his normal reflection in the glass. Standing in front of him was none other than the black wolf.

 _Well that's a small price to pay for what I’ve just done_ , he thought, _Okay, I can handle this._ He took a better look at his new appearance as it was truly the first time he was in full control of his wolf form. Shaking his pelt and taking a few steps on his new limbs, Killian looked around him, his new hearing and sight helping him take in the almost new landscape more deeply than he ever had before.

 _If I’m to stay in this form for the night, better take advantage of it_.

Killian happily trotted around the building, sniffing the air and elements around him, quickly moving away from an inhabited hole at the back of the garden. Everything was new and while he hated the fact he’d been cursed by his love- well, the Darkness. It wasn’t her, he reminded himself- he was actually starting to enjoy that new part of him. Until he caught a whiff of something brought by a small breeze. A low growl echoed in his throat as he sniffed the air again, realizing he’d need to get to a higher point to follow the scent. Wanting to test a bit of his strength, Killian wondered if he could walk on the roof of the loft, the height of the house looking like a good place to start. Taking his chances, he took a few steps back and jumped first on David’s truck before jumping on the lowest part of the roof. Hopefully without making too much racket.

_Well, now. Let the fun begin._

Taking a deep breath, Killian moved carefully on the shingles of the roof, slowly making his way up. Once on top of the house, he took a moment to look around, thanking his much taller size for helping him make the climb that easily. But it also meant he must weigh more than an average wolf. Killian used his night vision to seek his target, but couldn’t see anything. Lifting his snout, he inhaled deeply, taking the time to analyse all the fragrance of the night until he found hers. She was just a few blocks away. Licking his chops, Killian jumped down, his muscular frame easing the impact before he ran toward her position. There she was, sitting on a low brick wall, her white hair shining under the moon. As soon as he saw her, Killian couldn’t suppress the predatory snarl that escaped his mouth, revealing his sharp fangs. The Dark One didn’t seem at all perturbed, staring him down before a smile appeared on her red lips. Killian stepped deliberately toward her when she disappeared in a puff of grey smoke. Killian’s tensed and agitated body slowly returned to a neutral position before he huffed and turned back toward the loft.

* * *

David groaned as he walked down the stairs towards the front door of the building, the muscles in his back still spasming from the way he’d moved after a loud noise from the roof woke him. Mary Margaret had barely stirred after the alarming racket. As much as he disliked the idea, once he was fully awake he knew he’d have to go check what had made the noise. But first he needed to see how Killian was doing. He knew the man was an early riser. Surely by now he was awake and waiting for him to unlock the front door. Killian had assured him it was okay for them to lock the door. In truth, he almost sounded relieved to know that _he_ would be locked out, unable to reach them without breaking in. Yawning, the prince opened the window on the front facade of the building, unlocking the shutter before his eyes adjusted to the morning sun, searching for the tent and its occupant. David almost jumped as his eyes landed on the pirate, curled up in on himself on the welcome mat at the front door. David cursed under his breath at the fright, shaking it away. He quickly noticed the man was naked, or at least, he appeared to be. He wasn’t quite sure, because a well placed flower pot was hiding his middle.

“Damn it, pirate! Why am I always the one to find you half naked?” David whined, crossing his fingers that the pirate still had his boxer shorts on him.

Closing the window, David went to unlock the front door, but his hand stopped on the handle. He suddenly realized that the naked butt of the man behind the door might be the first thing he saw once he opened it. _Screw that_ , he thought. He wasn’t ready to see that sort of thing this early in the morning. Going back up to the loft, then coming back down to the window, he opened it once more and tried to wake the pirate up.

“Jones!” David hissed, nervously leaning on the rim of the window. “Jones! Wake up!”

But the pirate didn’t move a bit. Cursing again, David grabbed the small pillow he’d picked up from the sofa and readied his arm. Aiming for Jones’ head, David closed his eyes and threw the pillow. His aim was true and Killian’s pain filled moans reached his ears but David kept his eyes squeezed shut.

“What the bloody hell was that for?”

“Are you decent?” David asked bluntly, wanting to have his answer first.

“What?”

“Are you- fuck, Jones, are you _naked_?”

“Why would I be?” he answered in a high-pitched voice. David could tell the man was irritated to have been awakened with a pillow to the head.

“I don’t know! But it’s not the first time that I have to-”

“I’m not.”

“I, really? Oh, good.” David suddenly relaxed, opening his eyes to see the annoyed pirate staring at him.

“Now, did you just wake a man to ask if he was naked?”

“I, umh, no. I...”

David mumbled something before closing the window and disappearing inside the house. For a long minute, Killian stood with only his boxers on, not minding the lack of more clothes. However, passing the night out of doors was beginning to make itself felt as goosebumps appeared on his skin. After grabbing his shirt and pants inside his unused tent, Killian was welcomed by David in a more civilized way, the door held open for him to enter. The warmth of the house instantly soaked deep inside his bones and Killian let out a contented hum, putting his clothes on while David prepared them breakfast.

“So, Jones, how was the night? Did you, did the wolf… do you remember?” Nolan asked casually, his attention on the eggs he was cooking.

“Aye. She called the wolf, but I was able to resist.”

“Oh!” David exclaimed, turning toward him. “Good, that's good!” His eyebrows furrowed suddenly. “So, did you, like, climb on the roof at some point too? Cause I heard something loud up there.”

“Well that must have been the landing or when I jumped down,” Killian answered, a soft blush covering his dimples as his hand came to scratch behind his ear. “Sorry to have woken you up, mate. I hope I didn’t break anything up there. I didn’t realize how risky that idea was.”

“Don’t worry, it’s just a roof. As far as I know, you didn’t break anything, so it’s all good. Now, did you say that she, umh, the Dark One called you?”

“Aye. After I shifted, I tracked her scent until I saw her.” He stopped to sip a bit of his coffee, replaying the scene in his mind. “She also saw that I wasn’t _hers_ anymore. And she was _not_ delighted by that.” He popped the _t_ with a wince. “I’m afraid that unexpected meeting might have rushed things. We should tell Regina to be ready. With the full moon tonight and her knowledge about me, I have a feeling she will enact her plan today.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things took a big turn today and soon the final battle will start! Hope you enjoyed that new chapter! And thank you so much for all your kind comments ♥


	8. Chapter VII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for the final confrontation! Will the hero win or will the Darkness prevail? There's only one way to know...
> 
> Today’s warnings >>just a tiny Self-Hurting<<

In a matter of hours, the sun disappeared from the sky, trading places with the moon at its full in the clear sky. Even with the help of Killian’s hunch, the heroes barely had enough time to get ready. The same could not be said for the Dark One. As the small group headed for the most advantageous place for the battle to come, they realized the whole town felt almost post-apocalyptic. Empty alleys, houses devoid of life, storefronts closed as they passed by. The cold wind swept down the main street as they slowly reached their goal, the finishing touch to the gloomy ambiance the Dark One had no doubt orchestrated.

Everything was now ready and in place and all they had to do was wait. Wait for their enemy to come out and play. Regina’s annoyance was loud and on full display at the too familiar position they held. It was the same as in Camelot. But they hoped for a better result this time, one where they would leave the battlefield victorious. Mary Margaret looked one last time at the small device that showed the room where her son had been hidden, Regina’s spell ready to send the little prince to a safe place in case the worst happened. The queen would have prefered to have Henry there as well, but the boy had been particularly convincing, using his other mom as leverage and neither Regina nor his grandparents could say no to that. The plan was still to save Emma from the Darkness. With their team reduced to five, they couldn’t lose a bit of leverage they had in order to bring her back.

“Jones, are you sure she will be enacting her plan tonight?” Regina asked after another half hour of waiting.

“Aye. I can feel her coming.”

“So, she’s playing with us, again!” she complained as her magic pulsed within her.

“Did you really think the bloody Dark One would have done it any other way?” Killian reminded her, not happy either with the interminable waiting. “We’re simple pawns to her.”

“What if we summon her?” Mary Margaret proposed, hoping to diffuse the tension with another idea.

__“You just did.”_ _

They all jumped into defensive mode at the ghostly voice that echoed in the night.

“She’s here,” Killian announced coldly, his hand already on the hilt of his sword. “Get ready.”

Her laugh danced between the trees in response to their movement, but the Dark Swan remained hidden in the shadows, observing them. She could see how the wait was affecting them, slowly eating at their nerves. The queen’s hand flexed, ready to unleash her magic, David’s shoulders were tense as he and his wife worked in tandem protecting the other, the boy looked frantically around for her presence, and the damn pirate was using the power she gave him to sense her. But she knew how useless all of this would become once she commanded her minions to attack. It was all a game. One she was in full control of, one she would win. The Darkness would finally prevail and after that, nothing will stop them from snuffing out the light from the rest of this world.

“Movement ahead!” Henry shouted, pointing at the trees in front of him.

“There's more over here!” David shot back.

Each hero turned their head as they realized they were being circled by a thousand people. But their leader was not among them.

“David, it’s our people!” Mary Margaret gasped as the mass slowly walked toward them. She may not know the entire town by heart, but she was struck with the sheer amount of familiar faces as they approached. “We can’t harm them!”

“Well, now we know where Storybrooke has been,” Regina cursed, realizing too that they were about to fight against their own people and friends.

“Did you really think it would be that easy to get rid of me?”

They turned their heads at the sound of her voice, watching as the Dark One finally showed herself. She walked through the mass of people, each loyal minion stepping aside as she came to stand just a few meters away from the heroes.

“I could have fought you all myself, but that would be no fun to watch. This however, is going to be quite exciting.”

“We won’t let you!” Regina spat, her hand glowing with magic.

“Oh, but I’m counting on you to fight!” The Dark Swan laughed. “And once you lose, you will join our army and there will be no one standing in our way.”

“Damn you,” Killian groaned, his knuckles white as he glared at the Dark One, hating the damn curse for everything it did to him and those he loved.

“Oh, don’t worry, my love. She’s already damned,” the Dark Swan replied, the smile adorning her lips making the pirate sick. “And soon you’ll be joining her, as you should be, __beast__.”

Killian couldn’t hold back the feral growl at the taunting of the Dark One. His blood boiled, desperately wanting to get his revenge on the Darkness for what it had done to him and to Emma.

“Now, let’s see how you handle your precious people,” the Dark One purred before vanishing from sight. The mass suddenly changed their stance, ready to attack.

“What do we do?” Mary Margaret asked, her voice tight with emotion.

“We fight,” David replied, giving her hand a light squeeze before grabbing his pistol.

“What if we can’t save her, David? We can’t lose her!”

“But if we don’t stop her, or them,” Regina cut in, “She’ll do the same to the rest of the world. The Darkness won’t stop here. They’ll destroy, bring chaos and despair whenever they go. We __must__ put an end to this.”

“We have to fight til the very end. No matter what,” Killian breathed, closing his eyes as he weighed the last option in his mind. The one he desperately wished to avoid.

Henry and Mary Margaret both looked at him, shocked, while David closed his eyes, too, at the allusion to which the pirate was referring.

“You, you can’t possibly think-”

“Aye, milady.” He held his head high with determination as he answered the princess. “We must stop them no matter what. Even if it means killing it, killing...her.” Killian dared to look at Henry, what he saw in the boy’s eyes breaking his heart. “We have no other choice,” he apologized.

“Then we’ll save my mom,” Henry said back, determined, readying the cutlass Killian had given him.

Killian firmly nodded at the lad with a smile, taking his own sword in hand before they placed themself in position for the fight.

“I hope so, Henry,” he whispered, swallowing the lump before banishing the doubts inside his mind.

He needed to be strong for them, for the lad and for Emma. He will fight his damndest to find his way back to her and save her before they had to truly consider the last option. Suddenly Regina’s magic enveloped their weapons, catching their attention for a second.

“Any wound made by your weapon will now stop them without killing them. But remember, they’re not our people or friends as long as they’re under her damn control. Don’t be fooled by her magic!” the queen warned, staring at Mary Margaret as she felt she was the one who would be the most affected if she had to fight against one of the dwarves or Ruby.

They barely had the time to nod back before the first attackers started to run toward them. Their small band easily wounded their targets, Regina’s magic paralyzing them.

“Alright. That should be easy then!” David exclaimed, giving Mary Margaret an encouraging smile.

Before another wave fell upon them, several townspeople started to scream, falling on the ground. David and the others stared at what was happening and it took another second for Killian to realize what was really going on.

“Bloody hell! She- it’s the victims from the massacre! I-she’s fucking __cursed__ them!” Killian shouted over the pained screams, screams that turned into howls one after the other.

“That doesn’t change a thing! Human or wolf, we take them down!” Regina cursed, hoping her spell was strong enough to stop them all so they could take care of the Dark One.

The mass of bodies didn’t move, staying still as more of the town’s inhabitants succumbed to their curse, until half of them had turned into wolves. An eerie silence fell on the battlefield as both sides waited for the other to attack. Killian eyed each and every one of their enemies, gazing at Henry to make sure he would be alright near Regina, the Charmings seeming ready as well. Then his eyes stopped on her silhouette, leaning against a tree. They stared at each other, Killian grinding his teeth while the Dark Swan smiled coldly at him. The moment she stepped aside and retreated into the shadows, the real battle began.

* * *

During the first fifteen minutes they all managed to keep the attackers at arms length, slowly reducing their number. But it turned out that Regina’s spell wasn’t as effective and indefinite as she had thought. While it had completely neutralised the first wave of attackers, as soon as the number of persons touched by her spell increased, the first targets slowly regained their mobility. As for the werewolves, it only slowed them down for a couple of minutes before they were upright once again. With the evolving condition of the fight, they all seemed to agree the best way to have a shot at getting to the Dark One would be to increase their own effectiveness and wound at least half the Dark One’s minions before they could have a small window to try to reach Emma.

At first on his own, Killian had slowly rejoined the queen to help the lad while David and Mary Margaret worked in synchronization on their side. But it was the third time Killian had to jump to the couple to prevent them from being overrun by the number of enemies. The pirate growled as he saw David struggling to reload his gun while Mary Margaret was doing her best to cover him with her bow and arrow and then David’s sword when the enemies were getting too close for her bow. There was no way they could create a single window of opportunity with their current defensive rhythm.

Cursing loudly, Killian yelled at Henry to stay close to his mother before he ran to the duo.

“Mate! Take my sword!” Kilian shouted, giving his own weapon to the prince as soon as the man looked at him.

“What- no, Jones! How are you going to defend yourself if you do that?!” David argued, coming to cover the pirate that was now defenseless.

“I don’t need my sword, David. If we want to have a shot at this, we’re going to need more offensive power! You can’t keep sharing your sword with her!” David frowned at Killian’s reasoning but the man gave him a smirk before stepping aside from the prince’s defense. “And I have exactly what I need to give us a boost and defend myself.”

The bloody Dark One hadn’t cursed him for nothing. It had given him power and Killian would be damned if he didn’t use it against her and her army. For once, David caught on quickly, watching as Killian’s eyes switched to the vibrant yellow, his grin slightly more terrifying with the fangs. With his claws ready to attack, Killian gave one last look at David before stepping back into the fight, his higher speed and strength already making a difference, giving them the advantage in the fight they were slowly losing.

David couldn't deny it. Having a sword and a gun was making the fight easier, making him able to fight from afar and cover his and Mary Margaret’s backs when their enemies closed in. But he didn’t particularly like Killian’s chosen fighting technique. They had only succeeded in breaking the Dark One’s control over him the day before, and with the Dark One still around, there was no guarantee it wouldn’t try to regain him as its weapon as soon as possible. If that was to happen, David couldn’t even fathom the disaster that would ensue. No, they needed to keep Killian on their side if they wanted to win the fight without having to kill anyone. That’s why when he saw Killian fully embracing his werewolf side, clearly losing his lucidity, David ran to stop him.

“What the hell, mate?” Killian growled back, glaring at the prince, his claws at the ready.

“You need to stay focused, Jones! I- we can’t lose you!”

“I __am__ focused! And you should do the same! We have to keep reducing their number, we have to-”

“Killian there’s a difference between ‘focus’ and ‘seeing clearly’! You were about to lose control!” David hissed back, holding Killian’s shaking arms in front of him until the man snapped out of it and regained some control.

“I-bloody hell.” Killian freed his arm, passing his hand over his face to recenter. “Mate, if we don’t stop them now, we won’t have a chance or enough time to get her back. And you know if that doesn’t happen, then it’ll be killing her or letting the Darkness win! We can’t have either.”

“Yes, but if you lose yourself in her damn curse, she will use __you__ against __us__ and the result will be the same!”

Their disagreement was cut short as the fallen minions around them slowly started to rise from the ground, separating the two men from the rest of the group. They cursed in unison before readying themselves to rejoin the fight. They didn’t need to say a word to know what they had to do. They would have to take down the civilians once again before they could join Regina and Mary Margaret who were having a hard time protecting Henry who lost his weapon. And that was before they could decide what to do with Emma and the Darkness.

“Together?”

“Aye. Together.”

~/~

Henry had lost track of time. One moment they were waiting for his mother to show up from the shadows, the next he was trying his best to stay close to his other mom and Killian while using all the sword skills he’d learned during his lessons with his grandfather and Killian. Though the moment Killian left their side, it became harder to keep fighting. He could feel his mom’s tension all around him as she doubled her fight to make sure he was well protected. Gripping his cutlass even harder, Henry gathered his courage and worked twice as hard to fight and defend on his own. If his mother had to protect him, she wouldn’t be able to fight effectively. But his muscles were not conditioned for this kind of fight and were soon weakening. After a particularly rough wolf attack, his hands finally lost their grip on his only weapon. Falling on his back, Henry quickly crawled backward until he was able to stand up again and stay at Regina’s back. He heard her curse, throwing away the wolf with a magical pulse before she focused on those who were still attacking in front of her. Luckily for them, Mary Margaret was soon back with them, securing Henry once more between two adults. Henry noticed his grandmother was lacking her bow and arrow, meaning she would have to battle up close while his mom could push away most of the opponents. But they weren’t making any progress and he refused to think of the moment his mom’s magic wouldn’t work anymore. Henry was sure that was what the Dark One was waiting for, to have their main source of power drained so it could make a quick work of getting rid of the last wall they represented.

Several meters away, Killian and David were still fighting their way out of the blockade the wolves and town inhabitants had erected to separate them from the rest of the group. No matter how hard they were trying, every time they almost succeeded in making a hole in the line, new opponents came to fill the gap and make sure it was impossible for the two men to get out.

“We’re never going to get out of this mess like this, mate!”

“I know what you’re thinking, Jones! And my answer is still no! We can’t take a chance!”

“I don’t know if you noticed, but the ladies over there need our help! And the lad can’t do that by himself, David,” Killian shot back, pointing at Regina and Mary Margaret who were slowly being surrounded by their attackers as well.

“No,” David whispered, realizing just how precarious a position they were in.

“We have to make a choice!” Killian growled, focusing on David’s face until he answered him. He knew the prince wouldn’t risk the lives of his wife or Henry.

“Fuck! I really hope you know what you’re doing, Jones!” David cursed. He didn’t like that plan, but it looked like it was their only way out.

Killian nodded firmly at the prince before once more using his supernatural abilities to take down almost every individual forming the blockade. Once done, they took a moment to catch their breath.

“See, mate? Totally fine.”

David hated to admit Killian was right on that point, too. The prince didn’t have the time to complain about it though, Henry’s voice echoing from behind them.

“Guys! She’s there!”

Killian and David spun around, facing the Dark One who had decided to reappear from the depths of the forest and was slowly walking toward them, the smile on her lips sending a chill down David’s spine.

“Shit. I don’t like that,” David grumbled, already taking a step back toward the other group. “We better stick with the others! Jones, let’s go! Jones?”

While David had already been on the move, Killian hadn’t moved from his spot, his angry gaze glued to the Dark Swan. David looked between the two of them before cursing and focusing on Killian who’d started growling, realizing what was going on. Killian’s eyes were turning a deep orange and David knew it was only a matter of time before the red irises would be back and with it, a whole host of troubles. Though trying to get Killian’s attention was harder than he expected.

“Damn it, Jones! Look at me!” David shouted, tugging at Killian’s shaking arms to turn his body toward him instead. “Come on! You have to stay with me, mate.”

With another strong pull, David finally managed to capture Killian’s full attention and turn him away from the Dark One. David swallowed hard at the look of fear and pain that was on his friend’s face now that he wasn’t looking directly at the Dark One. He needed to do something to help Killian get his focus back, to help him fight back against whatever power she had on him.

“Remember what you said, Jones? You’ve got to fight it! You fucking did it until now, you have to keep doing it!” David almost commanded Killian, taking hold of his hands to anchor him in the present, but the pirate only appeared more pained while he fought not to look back at the Dark One.

Killian wanted to answer David, wanted to tell him he was trying! But the pain that had blossomed in his chest stopped him from saying a single word. The Dark Swan had taken back what was hers, laid claim on her beast as if she had never lost it, with a single look and now that David had broken the eye contact she had with him, Killian was left helpless against the growing pain of the unstoppable shift. His vision slowly narrowed, David’s pleas muffled in his ears. If he let go now, he feared the wolf would hurt David before going after the others. Killian groaned, trying to delay the moment he wouldn’t have any command left over his body, but it was almost impossible with the Dark One so close to him and with the full moon. Knowing only one way to gain precious seconds, Killian forced his arms to move away from David’s touch, and took a deep breath before letting his claws sink into his sides, tearing the skin apart. The sharp pain that exploded had the intended effect, the blinding pain restoring his sight. Once the initial shock passed, his brain functioning again, Killian focused on David.

“M-mate, you’ve got t-to...”

“Damn it, Killian! Why did you- Damn it! We have to go! You’ve got to move with me, far from her! Come on!” the prince screamed, looking wildly at the Dark One who was coming closer.

“No, you-” Killian’s warning was cut by a loud whimper, his sight narrowing again. “D-david, g-go!!”

“I’m not leaving y-”

“GO!”

David froze at the powerful scream of the pirate, watching as his friend doubled over in pain as the transformation took hold of him at last. David panicked looking at Killian. He didn’t want to let him down. There had to be a way to reach him and help him break the shift, just like they’d done with Regina before it was too late. Looking at the Dark One who'd stopped her advance, David cursed before yelling at Killian, his voice barely carrying over the snarling of the man in front of him.

“Jones! Fight it! You, you did it back then, you can do it again! Come on, mate!”

“He can’t hear you.”

David turned his head, looking at the Dark One who had just spoken.

“Yes, he can!”

“Oh, come on, Daddy,” the Dark One taunted, “Deep down you know the truth. Killian isn’t here anymore. And he won’t come back, I’ve made sure of that.”

David stared in shock at the cold declaration of the Dark One. He couldn’t believe what she was saying. It couldn’t be true. Killian couldn’t be __gone-gone.__ But the more he stared at her, the more David realized that Emma wasn’t here either, there was no trace of his daughter left in the person in front of him. Not her voice, clothes, or gestures. She was all __gone__. It hit him right in the face and David struggled to breathe. It was all too much.

“Aaaaah… Seems to me like you’ve finally understood the truth. But don’t be so sad, you’ll be joining them soon,” the Dark One taunted with a completely fake sad pout.

“No...no that’s not- That’s not true! I-” David started mumbling, wanting to fight back against the Dark One when he suddenly realized the pained whimpers of Killian had stopped.

Standing still, David swallowed heavily before slowly turning himself to face where Killian had been standing. As the prince turned, Killian’s shadow behind him grew, overshadowing David entirely as the beast stood up fully. David’s eyes followed the form in front of him, looking up until he reached the face of the imposing werewolf now right in front of him. David didn’t know if the figure in front of him was truly twice his size or if it was just a fear induced hallucination. David shuffled backward a little, still gaping at the gigantic wolf that his friend had become.

“Oh, fffff- Jones?” David breathed, completely immobilized as his eyes locked with the two red ones of the beast. “Please tell me you’re still in there, Jones,” he whispered.

It was clear that Killian's command over his body was no more, as a deep grumble came out of the wolf’s chest before it snarled at him. David fell to the ground in surprise. He had to alert the others, David told himself, scrambling along the ground to get out of the reach of the beast and the Dark One that was laughing at his attempt to get away. But the wolf reacted quickly and David barely had time to scream for Mary Maraget before he felt the huge clawed paw of the wolf slamming into his back, sending him airborne as pain flared in his spine.

* * *

When Killian reopened his eyes, the world around him made no sense at all. Everything was blurry and very strange looking, pushing him ever closer to panic. He was trembling violently and all he could hear was his own panting as he stood still, searching for something solid to anchor himself to. A loud screech bombarded his senses, surprising him before he took up a defensive stance as he located the origin of the frightening sound. Right in front of him stood a smaller humanoid form, some sort of flame burning all around him. But what unnerved Killian and made him growl back was the bright red color it had. It couldn’t be anything good. Trusting his instincts, Killian tried to push the demon-like form far away from him. As soon as it was done, Killian noticed that the demon that was now on the ground, wasn’t the only one. Several red forms were now standing just a few feet away from him. A strong shiver ran down Killian’s spine as he tried to count just how many potential threats were surrounding him. This was all the Dark One’s work again, there was no doubt in his mind about the nature of these demons, Killian concluded as he readied himself to fight them all. He would have to finish them if he wanted to protect his friends. Speaking of them, Killian paused a moment, searching for their scent or any indications that they were close by. But instead, all he heard was Emma. He could only hear her voice and track a very faint scent of her unique perfume in the night air but his heart beat faster at her presence. A presence that materialized beside him in the same form as the demons, but it was shining a pure white. There was nothing evil about it and Killian found himself trusting her voice completely.

__“End the fight now, Killian. You have what is needed in you.”_ _

* * *

“SNOW!”

Both women and Henry froze as they heard David scream, the minions surrounding them forgotten. Mary Maragaret dropped her sword before running to him, avoiding the few humans standing in her path. David’s body landed on the ground near a sharp rock. Henry could only stare at his grandmother as she knelt over the prince's body, checking him for wounds. Thankfully, there appeared to be none that endangered his life.

However, the departure of Mary Margaret put them right back where they started, divided and easily stopped. The Dark Swan didn't waste a single second, whispering something to her beast before standing aside to watch. Henry looked around, terrified at the scene before him, before searching for his other mom and her reassurance. She held out her hand to him. When he grabbed it, she squeezed it lightly.

“It’s going to be okay, Henry. I can handle them.”

“But Mom! What about your magic? You’ve already used it a lot, what if you run out?”

“Then I’ll make sure to teleport you and the little prince before I do so you two can be safe,” Regina stated as she looked at her son. “But that won’t happen, Henry. I’ll deal with the two of them before the sun is up. I’ll make sure that cursed Dark One isn’t part of our world anymore.”

Henry inhaled sharply at her last words. She was talking about ending Emma’s life and Killian’s too, if he was to stand in the way. As much as it looked like that act would become necessary, Henry couldn’t believe it would come to that end. There had to be a way to save both his mom and Killian. Henry loved him and he wasn’t willing to lose him as well. Swallowing his emotions, Henry took a step aside as he watched Regina use her magic to make quick work of the minions still attacking them. Though Henry quickly noticed that those surrounding his grandparents weren’t attacking them anymore and were more just looking at them, like they were making sure none of the adults would escape. That piqued Henry’s interest and as soon as he heard the deep howling echo, he immediately turned to watch the giant wolf. How could it be Killian? That monster was nothing like the pirate. But deep inside his heart, Henry knew Killian was still in there, just like his mother was still somewhere inside the Dark One.

But it was clear the queen wasn’t seeing it that way. As soon as the howl stopped, all the smaller wolves gathered around their alpha and promptly followed the order Killian had given them. It took them a couple of minutes but Henry, Regina, and the Charmings soon found themselves trapped inside the circle the wolves made, with the Dark One’s beast stalking the heroes as it crossed that barrier.

“Mom.”

“I know, Henry. But I’ll do what I have to! It’s not my fault the pirate fell into her damn trap!” Regina barked.

Henry moved to stand next to his mom hoping to convince her not to hurt Killian. To remind her that it wasn’t his fault, but Regina was having none of it and pushed him back behind her. He was left watching helplessly as she walked toward Killian, already blasting him with magic, though the wolf only growled louder at her attacks that were having zero affect on him so far.

“I’m playing nice with you, Hook, for Henry’s sake. But you better do the same before I change my mind!” Regina shouted at Killian as he came to a stop, studying her.

* * *

Killian watched as the demons started to regroup and made ready to attack him. But as soon as he took a step forward, he saw white spots appear all around him, as if Emma’s aura had spread.

__“Use them to defeat our enemies, Killian. They’ll do whatever you tell them.”_ _

Frowning a moment, Killian took the time to think about her statement before deciding it was worth a shot. He didn’t know much about the demons he had to face. If Emma was suggesting that he use more hands to complete the task she’d given him, then he’d at least try it. While it took him a moment to understand how to communicate with the white spirits (that’s what he’d call them for now because he had no idea what they were), now that the orders were sent Killian watched with satisfaction as the white entities placed themselves just where he’d asked, forcing the four demons to group together with no escape. Killian took a deep breath before walking toward the first demon, the one with the brightest red flame. Unsurprisingly, his opponent started to attack him, sending bullet-like flames at him. While it wasn’t painful, it bothered Killian a lot, forcing him to stop to clear his vision and shake off the remaining flames. The nearest demon to him appeared much weaker than the one who attacked, thus becoming Killian’s new target. With another command, he asked the white spirit to keep the first demon occupied so he could take care of the smaller one. In a few seconds, the white spirits all ran toward the red one and created a circle around it. But to Killian’s surprise, the demon stopped focusing on him to protect its smaller companion. That little one was their weakness, one that Killian intended to take advantage of.

* * *

Regina was done with all this mess and wanted nothing more than to be able to end this fight. But being the only magic wielder available made the task much harder and more complex than it would have been if Gold had been by their side. But the man was out of the equation and Emma was still the Dark One, and thus, unreachable. The Charmings were both down, the damn pirate had switched sides once more and she was supposed to deal with all of this, all the while protecting Henry. She didn’t need her son’s pleading to know that it wasn’t exactly Jones’ fault or Emma’s for that matter, but it was becoming too hard for her to handle alone without actually hurting them. She’d have to do what everybody was afraid to do if they wanted to win tonight. She would have to kill the Dark One once and for all. But first, she needed to get rid of beast-Hook, even if it would break Henry’s heart.

Sending another attack toward Jones, Regina cursed as her magic ricocheted off the thick dark fur, failing to do anything. It was barely slowing him down as he walked toward her and Henry. Then he stopped. Regina took the time to take a deep breath and recharge her own energy too, watching Jones carefully for his next move. And just like the night at the dock, the damn wolf fixated on Henry, making Regina’s skin crawl.

“I’m not letting you anywhere near my son, Hook!” Regina spat, throwing one good magical blast at the wolf as she stepped between him and Henry.

But the wolf simply shook it off, talked to his pack, and walked once more toward the boy. As the beast stalked Henry, the smaller wolves attacked Regina, forcing her to focus on them while still trying to protect her son from their alpha. Regina doubled her efforts as Killian closed the distance separating him from Henry, her offensive power waning as her attention was slowly becoming completely directed toward her son.

Henry, for his part, was doing his best to ease his mom’s task by staying by her side, but the wolves weren’t letting him, isolating Regina by attacking her relentlessly. Henry took yet another shot at getting past the wolves but he was thrown backward. Shaking his head, Henry heard his mother cry his name, making his throat squeeze with anxiety. Things were going south quickly, the menacing growl of the beast reaching his ears. Gasping, Henry jumped to his feet, walking backward as much as he could before the barrier made by the Dark One’s minions stopped him. A quick glance by Henry at the minions barrier was all it took for the situation to be completely turned around. The menacing wolf that had been dangerously close to him seconds before was now crawling on the floor. Henry frowned, trying to understand what was going on. When the first pained whimper escaped the wolf, Henry felt his stomach drop to his knees. Despite everything, the wolf was still Killian, and his current stance made it obvious that someone was hurting him. Searching for the source of Jones’ agony, Henry looked in shock at Regina who had succeeded in getting rid of the smaller wolves and was now using her magic to incapacitate Killian.

“Mom!” Henry pleaded, jogging to her side while keeping an eye on the dark mass of fur writhing on the ground. “Mom! Please stop! You’re hurting him!”

“No, Henry!” she shouted, “I’m protecting you! He was about to hurt __you__!”

“But, Mom!”

“Don’t ‘but’ me, young man! I’m not letting anyone hurt you!” Regina cut Henry off, giving him a cold but worried glare.

Henry’s lips quivered, tears burning the corner of his eyes. She wasn’t going to stop, he realized. She was going to keep on torturing him until he couldn’t move or worse. Henry’s tear-filled eyes focused on Killian while he tried to formulate a plan to save the wolf that was howling at the moon. Each cry of pain was tearing him apart and in a rush of bravery, though it could have been madness, Henry ploughed into his mom, pushing her off balance and breaking the spell she had cast on Killian.

* * *

He had only been one jump away from the trembling form of the smaller demon when he felt as if David’s truck had connected with his ribcage, slamming him to the ground. Anger spread through his body as he tried to jump back to his feet to respond to the attack but white pain stole his breath and Killian found all his strength being sapped out of his body. He was left lying on his side while the pain spread to each part of his being at lighting speed. He let out a pained cry as he tried to move again, to escape the sudden magical force weighing him down. It was slowly crushing his bones with the pressure it held on him and Killian couldn’t help but yelp in pain. But the more he fought against whatever was forcing him to stay still on the ground, the more he felt like he would be dying the next moment, squashed like nothing more than a bug.

He couldn’t see past the agony but his ears caught a familiar voice in between his own cries. Trying to keep his jaws closed to avoid making too much sound, Killian focused on the distant voice until he was able to identify it. The moment his brain finally connected the voice with the smiling picture of the lad, the crushing weight on top of him disappeared and Killian’s lungs sucked in huge gulps of air, making his breathing erratic for a few seconds. Once his breathing stabilized, Killian dared to open his eyes and look around him. To his surprise, the foggy veil had disappeared, his normal sight restored. Gasping, Killian beat back another whimper as he forced his huge frame to move so he could lay on his front and catch his bearings. Everything around him was looking normal, just like when he’d faced the Dark One with David earlier. The thought of the man sent Killian snapping his head to both sides trying to locate the prince but the movement only made him sick, stars appearing in the corner of his sight.

__“It’s just an illusion, Killian.”_ _

Killian shook his head at her voice. What was she saying? He got his answer when his eyes finally spotted the lad, the image flickering between Henry and the previous flame-like demon. Killian groaned, closing his eyes, willing his head to stop spinning. When he looked back, gone was the lad and the normal surroundings. The blurry scenery was back with the bloody demons still poised to fight.

__“Don’t let them fool you, my love.”_ _

Killian snarled at the small red spot slowly standing up and walking toward him. She was right, they had attacked him. It had all been a trick to bring his defences down. Standing back up, Killian faced the small demon, staring at him as his ears picked up what his opponent was saying to him. Though it was crackling in his ears, he couldn’t help but try to understand what it was saying as it stopped and extended his arm toward him.

* * *

Henry quickly stood on shaking legs from where he had tackled Regina, watching as the wolf regained his senses and stood up. Even when not fully upright, he was far too tall for Henry. Gulping down his fear, Henry tried to stay still, focusing only on Killian. The pirate was still in there, it was just like the story he had told him aboard the ship, the wolf part of Killian was just afraid and in pain. If he was able to break through that, there was a chance for him to reach Killian and bring him back to them. But the more Henry tried to soothe the wolf the more it approached him, his white fangs shining in the light of the moon.

“Killian, please, I know you’re still in there, I believe in you! You can come back!”

The next thing Henry knew was that the huge clawed hand of the wolf was pinning him down while Regina screamed his name in the background. Too scared, Henry closed his eyes, trying his best not to scream. Feeling the sticky drool coat his shirt, Henry shivered before cracking an eye open.

“K-Killian, please!” Henry begged in a fearful voice. “Come back! We can’t lose you too...I-I can’t lose you.”

Killian suddenly stopped what he was doing, frowning down at the form under him. __I can’t lose you__. It was the only thing that he was able to understand in all the gibberish the demon had said. At the same time Killian became aware of the words, his vision began to flicker back again, switching between the red form of the demon and the terrified face of the lad. His eyes tried to fix the face of the lad in front of him but his brain wasn’t following. Closing his eyes, Killian took a deep breath, searching for all the clues he could find in the smells of the body underneath him. The wait seemed to never end as his nose centered in on the scent he was looking for.

“Please, Killian, don’t let me down.”

The voice and the smell of Henry combined was enough to finally allow Killian to snap out of the illusion the Dark One had put on him. Killian felt like he was blinking awake, watching as the image of the lad finally became solid and clear in front of him. Not wanting to let the lad fear for his life any longer, Killian gently brought his snout closer to his face before licking the lad’s cheek. But Henry only cowered in fright, his whole body shuddering at the contact of his tongue. Huffing on his face, Killian softly whined hoping to catch Henry’s attention. The lad gasped, opening his eyes to stare into the two blue pools staring back. Killian allowed a low rumble from his chest as he watched the shocked face of the lad go from terror to realization that he was truly back with them. A wide smile spread on Henry’s lips as he recognized him.

“Kill-!”

But Killian didn’t allow him to finish his name, bringing his paw down his lips as gently as possible to shush him.

 _ _She doesn’t know I’m back lad__ , Killian wanted to say but he knew the only sounds he’d made were some low growls. So instead, he shook his head slightly, grateful that Henry seemed to understand they’d have to keep it secret. Removing his paw, Killian turned to fix Regina with his stare. He slowly looked toward the Dark One behind them, repeating the motion in hopes the queen would understand what he wanted to do. They had to end things now. If the Dark One realized he’d once again escaped her, she’d do everything in her power to kill them all immediately. If Regina was able to magically transport him to the Dark One’s side, he’d have the element of surprise to try to take her down. She had kept telling him he possessed the power to end things. Surely that also meant he had enough strength to end __her__.

Unable to talk at the moment, Killian was left staring at the queen who looked back with a questioning gaze. They were stuck.

The wheels in Henry’s head turned furiously. He watched Killian’s eyes go back and forth between his mom and the Dark One when it finally hit him. “Mom! Mom it’s like in my game,” Henry whispered, trying his best to keep playing as if Killian was about to devour him, asking for his mother to save him. “Portal!”

That seemed to click something in Regina’s mind and Killian repeated his motion between her and the Dark One. The only answer he got from Regina was the change in her stance, ready to fight him again. __She better have bloody understood or you’re screwed, mate__! Killian cursed, charging right toward the queen whose hands had started glowing. Jumping as if he was about to truly attack her, Killian prayed to any god that would listen for his plan to actually work as magic shot from Regina’s hands.

* * *

The Darkness was filled with joy as it watched them all slowly tearing themselves apart while the small army caused as much destruction as possible. Once the nuisance of the hero team was defeated, there would be nothing holding the Darkness back from conquering this world. Their downfall would also mean no more hope for the current host of the Darkness, letting all previous Dark Ones freely enjoy the new power the Savior would add to the collection. The Darkness giggled at the prospect of its victory. It had feared either the boy or pirate would break through the carefully constructed prison the Darkness had built around the Savior, but Emma Swan remained trapped deep within her own mind, lost to the Darkness and soon for all eternity.

The pained howls of the beast brought the Dark One back to the present, forcing her to pay attention to the scene in front of her. The cursed queen was going to destroy her creation, her main weapon, forcing her to actually enter the fight. The Dark Swan’s face pulled a disgusted sneer as she readied herself, but the boy saved her from the trouble. He kicked his own mother to the ground before he slowly approached the wolf. __Fool__. A pleasant smile adorned her lips now as the black wolf stood back up, pinning the child to the ground within seconds. The rest of the heroes ran quickly to protect the boy, but they found themselves stopped by her minions after a flick of her wrist. The Darkness hummed in anticipation of what was about to occur. The death of the truest believer at the hand of the pirate would destroy them and she would only have to pick up what was left from their broken spirits.

Relaxing her stance, the Dark Swan studied the wolf as it got closer and closer to the boy. But before he could kill the child, the queen managed to get rid of the minions and bring the wolf’s attention back to her. Frowning, the Dark Swan waited to see what Her Majesty would come up with to hold back the growling beast. Her pet did not disappoint her as she watched him lunge at the queen’s throat. Regina’s hands shone bright with magic, forcing the Dark Swan to look away. The Dark Swan looked back horrified that the queen was still standing, while her wolf had completely disappeared.

“What did you!?” the Dark Swan roared.

The air behind her crackled, the electricity sending a shiver down her spine before she understood what the queen had truly done. Before she could turn and face the opening portal, the dark wolf was upon her, his two front paws connecting with her shoulder blades as she fell forward. Using her magic to avoid completely falling to the ground, the Dark Swan reappeared in front of her beast, glaring at him as she noticed it had once again broken through her control.

“How dare you?” she spat. “You will pay for your treachery!” The wolf didn’t flinch, snapping its jaw at her. “I was planning to keep you by my side, but now, you’ll die like the rest of them!”

Regina’s hands still shook as she watched Killian jump toward her. Her own son had kicked her down and suddenly the pirate was back with them. This was making no sense at all. But she did as her son asked, sending Killian directly to the Dark One, sincerely hoping the man knew what he was doing. Relief flooded her as she saw that he did indeed plan to confront the Dark Swan himself, buying them time to prepare another attack. But that didn’t take into consideration the damn army still under the Dark One’s control. She barely took a step toward Henry when the minions and wolves rushed toward her. Gathering enough magic, Regina threw a freezing spell over them all, immobilizing the inhabitants of Storybrooke.

“Mom, what is-”

“Now you will listen to me, Henry,” she bit back, glaring at the boy. “Don’t think I’ll forget what you did, even if it did help get Hook back. I want you with your grandparents right now and don’t you dare do anything crazy. You’ve done enough already.”

“O-okay, Mom.” Henry looked down at his feet before watching the fight happening ahead of them. “But what about Killian? Shouldn’t we-”

“I’m holding the inhabitants back while he’s doing his job. Yours is to get to safety with the Charmings and wait!”

Henry nodded, heading a bit reluctantly to Mary Margaret and David’s side, giving his grandmother a hand to get David up again now that he was finally awake. All three watched the fight, praying for Killian to come out victorious and not alone.

But the more Killian tried to fight the Dark One, the more he realized the chances of getting Emma back were slipping away. The person in front of him was just as insane as the cursed wolf he’d been, filled with nothing but darkness and hatred toward him. Something strong enough to shake Emma to the very core was needed, to have any hope for her to have a chance to take back control of her body. Something Killian didn’t know how to make happen when he was barely managing to avoid the attacks of the Dark One. His concentration wobbled and that was all it took for Killian to take a hard hit of dark magic on the side of his skull, throwing him off balance. Lucky for him, the Dark One seemed to want to keep playing with him like a moth, torturing him until the very last moment before she could end him for good. Trying to shake the stars from his vision, Killian looked around, seeing that Regina was busy holding off the rest of the minions while Henry was safe with the Charmings who were unable to help either.

“What is it, puppy, already tired?” the Dark One laughed.

Gritting his teeth, Killian got up once more, deciding to stand on his back legs for increased leverage against her. He’d realized that he’d been staying down on all fours, just like any common wolf, stopping himself from using all the power his curse had given him. Now that he wasn't fighting against his friends, he had no reason to hold back. She thought of him as a puppy, the next attack will prove to her just how wrong she’d been.

Killian struck out at her, forcing her to use her magic to defend herself. Though his fist didn’t make contact, her magic causing his fist to land above her head, the force of the impact against her magical barrier caused her feet to slide on the ground. Killian didn’t bother to suppress his grin, finally feeling at ease in his movements now that he was in his usual posture. From that point, he was able to land more punches and the Dark One began to stop attacking as feverishly as she had been. Feeling it was the right moment to try something, Killian worked things so he ended up holding both her arms, looking into her eyes, searching for Emma. For a second, he thought he’d found her or at least connected with her, but then the Darkness was back, holding Killian mid-air with magic.

“You, you thought I would let you reach her?” the Dark Swan panted even as she gloated, delighted to see Jones struggle to get free from her hold. “The only reason you were able to reach her was because you were __both__ under the control of the Darkness. You cut yourself from it. The only way to get her back will be to end us. __All__ of us.” She walked toward him until she was face to face with the wolf and laughed at him in a whisper. “But we both know you’re not strong enough to do that.”

Killian was sent flying through the air, falling with a thud on the ground as he caught his breath. He could feel it, deep down his heart, the bloody Dark One was right. She was lost to them. She was lost to __him__. But he’d be damned if he gave up hope now. Gathering his courage, Killian ran toward the Dark Swan who’d turned her back to him, focusing on removing Regina from the equation.

“ _ _You can dream of it!__ ” Killian roared, wrapping his arms around the Dark One’s throat, stopping her right in her tracks.

She gasped a few times before producing something shiny she held in her hand, bringing the object down on his left arm, severing the hand once again. Killian yelped, letting go of his prisoner to hold his bleeding arm against his chest. With a wicked smile, the Dark Swan played with the tip of her dagger, his blood on the blade slowly falling to the ground. Strangely, the cut started to smoke, the flesh instantly healing but his missing hand didn’t grow back like it did after his first full moon under the curse. Blinded by the pain and his rage, Killian ran full force at her, attacking her in a frenzy.

The Dark Swan couldn’t deny it, the infuriating pirate knew how to play with the gift she had given him. It had been a risk to use him as her weapon, knowing that it could be her end if he escaped her control. That very thing that happened several times now, and there was no time to try and regain it. He was desperate and the wound she’d just inflicted on him wasn’t going to play in her favor, fueling his anger toward her and the Darkness even more. There was nothing left except the fight, until one of them fell. The bastard did manage to reach the Savior earlier, making the task of keeping a harness on Emma Swan a lot more complicated for the Darkness. But there was one thing the Darkness would do and that was survive, even if they’d have to completely let go of the prison built to contain the Savior so it could focus on surviving the next attack of the damn wolf.

Time seemed to slow as the wolf jumped in the air, all claws and fangs directed at the Dark One’s throat. Regina and the others watched as the Dark One’s body was covered by the dark fur of the wolf, before both crashed to the ground, the impact creating a large cloud of dust. Silence descended as the two bodies slid apart, unmoving. Henry stood up, his eyes open wide as he watched to see who was going to move first.

* * *

Emma lay down, her eyes fluttering open to stare at the immense night sky above her. The Darkness had a strange way of torturing her ever since the day in Camelot when she was forced to let go for the sake of her family.

\---

__She watched the scene in front of her, her eyes filled with tears. Each and every member of her family, of Storybrooke, was on the ground. They were all dead and she couldn't do anything to stop it, to protect them against the monster that had ravaged the land. She had gasped herself awake, realizing it had only been a dream._ _

__“Which isn’t right, Savior…”_ _

__“Shut up! I didn’t ask for your comments!” Emma had hissed back at the demon in the form of Rumplestilskin. Suddenly, she realized the Darkness wasn’t usually able to see her dreams._ _

__“That’s right, dearie. I’m sure that pretty head of yours understands what it means, now.”_ _

__“I- It wasn’t a dream…” She thought out loud, the past Dark One giggling._ _

__“That’s correct.”_ _

__“But then what is it? Did you do something? Is this your fucking doing?” she shouted angrily at the vision in front of her._ _

__“Why would we do that?” The Darkness spoke in an innocent voice, only pissing Emma off more. “No dearie, what you saw is what is bound to happen…”_ _

__“Excuse me?”_ _

__“Are you sure you’re not deaf, darling?”_ _

__“Go to hell!” This time Emma threw a blast of magic at the vision that simply disappeared for a few seconds before reappearing somewhere else. “What do you WANT?”_ _

__“Hush, hush now, we merely want to enlighten that brain of yours…” That piqued Emma’s curiosity and she waved for the Dark One to continue, much to its delight. “What you saw dearie, was a fragment of the future.”_ _

__“I can see the future now?” Emma gasped incredulously._ _

__“You really don’t know a thing about what you’re capable of, are you?” The imp said in a plain, slightly bored voice, almost offended. “But yes, yes. You, the new Dark One, as useless as you are, can see part of the future.”_ _

__“How do I stop it from happening?” Emma asked directly._ _

__The vision of the demon stood still, before the corner of his lips lifted in a sinister smile._ _

__\---_ _

Emma felt her body shiver at the memory of how it all happened. If she hadn’t been so desperate to protect her family, she would have waved away the vision and perhaps, she would be with her family right now and not trapped somewhere only the Darkness knew where. Well, that wasn’t exactly true. She still remembered clearly the times Killian had somehow found her. She thought it had been a trick of the Darkness, but it was all real. He had truly been by her side several times, disappearing as another cycle ended. Emma closed her eyes, picturing his face one last time. She missed him so much, just like the rest of her family. Henry, her parents, damn, even Regina.

Holding her breath, Emma frowned at the memory of the dream she’d just had. They always seemed so real, like the Darkness was showing her what was happening in the real world, taunting her. But her brain never recalled everything, only bits and pieces, which is why she believed it was just that. Dreams. Only the last one was more like a nightmare. Focusing very hard on it, she could still hear the distant pained cries, could still feel her belly twisted in pain at what she’d seen. And there was Killian’s anguished face. Haunting her, torturing her with the knowledge that she couldn’t help erase all the fear and pain plastered on his perfect face. As her memories stopped there, she sighed deeply, trying to stay strong and not let the tears escape her eyelids.

__Emma come back! Emma! Mom, please! SWAAAN!_ _

Emma finally opened her eyes, the moon staring back at her as the ghostly voices came and went. Her heart squeezed at the painful reminder that she wasn’t with them. She was sure they’d call her like that everytime, she could picture Henry in his bed, begging her to come back home until his young body finally switched off. Shaking the terrible picture from her mind, she turned herself on her side, groaning at how her body was aching. That was new, the dreams had never exhausted her physically.

Another moan echoed in the night air but it wasn’t coming from her. Her eyes snapped open to the massive dark form lying next to her. Holding her breath, Emma tried to discern what it was. She didn’t even know if that thing was alive, but judging by the fall and rise of the form there was a good chance it was. The question now was, was it a threat to her. Slowly rising on her elbow, Emma scrutinized what looked like a giant wolf laying on its back, his arms holding something close to its chest. Very carefully, Emma rose to her knees to further her inspection. But the beast released a deep groan at her movement, causing her to freeze. The animal’s gaze met hers and she was stunned by the two blue eyes staring back at her. It then whined painfully as it uncurled its arms from its chest. Emma’s hand flew to her mouth as she realized the poor animal had been stabbed right in the chest by a dagger, one she suddenly felt drawn to. Unconsciously, her right hand extended toward it, her fingertips grazing its handle. Emma fell on her butt, memories flashing in front of her eyes.

“Oh my god.”

It was all she could say before she lunged forward, both hands pulling the curved blade out of the wolf’s chest. As she held the dagger, __her__ dagger in her trembling hands, another wave, flashes that filled in the missing pieces of her dreams, flowed over her vision. The picture of the horror she’d just commited plastered in front of her. All these dreams she had were true, the Darkness used her until the very last second. Until it had to let go of its control to save her life and theirs at the same time. She’d been the one to plunge the cursed dagger into his chest. That realization poured over her like ice.

The wolf suddenly yelped and all Emma could hear was Killian screaming her name. Not losing another moment, she lunged forward again, her hands coming up to stop the blood draining from his wound.

“Nononono, Killian! It’s going to be alright! Hold on,” she begged, her hands fumbling over the wound. It had stopped bleeding, but her magic wasn’t healing it no matter how hard she tried.

Killian slowly shifted back to his human form underneath her fingers, his eyes never leaving her face. Once the fur was completely gone and the tremors of his muscles stopped, Emma dared to lift her hand and have a closer look at the wound she’d inflicted. The deep hole was too close to his heart. She couldn’t heal him and neither could he.

“I don’t understand! You should be healing! We should- it should be!” she panted, frustrated.

She had fucking cursed him and the damn curse should be working! He had been granted the ability to self-heal, it should be working! Her magic should be working. But the wound wasn’t closing. Then her eyes landed on the bloodied dagger resting on the ground and the puzzle piece fell into place. She had wounded him with the dagger. That was the reason he wasn’t healing. He was doomed because of her.

“Emma…”

Her face turned swiftly from the dagger to his own, her hand dropping the cursed metal before she sat close to his chest, her hands coming to grab his as he tried to reach for her.

“Swan,” Killian breathed her name with a smile on his lips, waiting for her to answer. He was cut off by a coughing fit as blood slowly invaded his mouth and lungs.

“Killian! Killian, breathe! It’s going to be alright! I promise!”

Relaxing a bit, Killian rested his head on the leg she had spread underneath him, his blue eyes searching her face until he met her green orbs. A soft smile spread on his lips as he focused all his energy to lift his hand to her cheek.

“You’re back.”

“Yeah.” She sniffed back her tears, smiling at him. “So don’t you dare le- lea-” but she was unable to finish her sentence.

“It’s okay, Emma. You’re free.” He had to stop to cough again, his breath becoming labored as the pain screamed through his entire body. “That’s enough for me.”

“But that’s not enough for me!” Emma’s tears flowed down her cheeks, Killian’s attempt to erase them only making her cry more. “I, I did this to you!” She cried, hating herself for being the reason they were in this situation.

“Aye, ...but it’s okay, Swan. I wish, I wish I could stay and help you defeat the Darkness once and for all-” his words trailed away as the inferno coming from the wound intensified, his vision going dark for a moment as he fought tooth and nail not to cry out loud, feeling Emma’s fingers digging into the arm and hand she was desperately holding on to. Forcing the air to fill his lungs, Killian opened his eyes, putting a brave smile on his face. “But p-promise me something...Promise m-me you won’t l-let the Darkness...g-get the upper hand again.”

His breathing worsened at the end of his demand. Emma vigorously nodded, her tears falling on his face as she placed herself right above him to spare him the effort of keeping his head up. She wanted to answer, but the words remained stuck in her throat. His fingers gently caressed her cheek, helping the squeeze in her throat to ease.

“Pro-promise,” she croaked between hiccups.

“Good- lass. You need to save yourself.” The next coughing fit was followed by a warm sensation on his lips and Killian knew the end had come. “I love you.”

She was left breathless as she saw the light slowly fade out of his eyes, his stupid smile the only reminder that seconds ago he was still with her. She had to remind herself to breathe when the sobs forced their way past her lips. Her body seemed to weigh a ton and she allowed herself to fall on his chest. It was still warm. Or was it her own warmth? Crying harder, she let go of everything she had in her, the tears never stopping even when she felt like every drop of water inside her body had been poured out.

“I can’t let you go!” Emma cried, her fingers moving all over his body to find something to grab to anchor herself. “I can’t do this! I can’t do it without you!”

Her voice broke and only her brokenhearted cry echoed in the night.

“I can’t….”she whispered after a long moment of silence. “I can’t, I can’t...wait.”

Emma stiffened, suddenly rising from where she’d been laying on his chest, wiping the remains of her tears from her face so she could stare at Killian’s pale face. Her brain was working a mile a minute as her eyes skittered all around her until she finally found her answer.

“I CAN save you!” Emma gasped, thanking the Dark One’s knowledge she had unlocked, knowing there was still a chance to save Killian.

But before she could do anything, she felt a hand firmly grab her shoulder, bringing her momentum to a halt. Swinging around, Emma discovered it was Regina who stood next to her, looking at her with a grave look.

“Regina? What-”

“Emma, I know you've been through a lot, but what are you planning to do exactly?” the queen questioned her, getting straight to the point.

Emma scoffed, blinking at the queen. Didn’t she see what happened? What she was going to do was obvious and she had the feeling the queen knew exactly what she planned.

“I-Why are you here?”

“Emma, that’s not an answer. You just said you could __save__ him.” Regina paused at the look the Savior was giving her, a mix of anger and loss. “Listen, I get it. You’ve just succeeded in coming back to us but you also lost him. You need to calm down. You have to take a moment to breathe and gather your thoughts before doing anything and-”

“Excuse me?” she shouted, “Calm down? Take a fucking moment to breathe? HE’S NOT BREATHING!”

“And he will stay like that Emma! He’s gone!” Regina answered coldy. “I know it hurts to hear it, but that’s the truth. I’m sorry!”

“Like hell, you are!” Emma snapped back, freeing herself from the woman’s touch before continuing to yell at her. “I can save him! I know how and I’m damn well gonna do it!”

“Emma, please! STOP!” Regina tried again, doing her best to make her see reason through all her emotions. “I know you think doing what your parents did will work for you, too! But even if it does, you know what this will do.” Emma didn’t budge a bit. “This will create another Dark One, Emma! Sharing your heart with him will only curse him, again! Is that really what you want?”

Emma stared blankly at the queen, the scolding sinking into her bones. But she was tired of being told what she could and couldn’t do. She had been manipulated by the Darkness for months, and she wasn’t going to let anyone decide for her anymore. She was going to save Killian, period. Standing so she could get in Regina’s face, Emma’s impassive gaze locked with the queen’s.

“Are you going to try to stop me?”

Regina huffed at the steely determination Emma was showing.

“Are you? Yes or no.” Emma repeated.

Regina shook her head, stepping back though not leaving Emma completely alone. She wasn’t going to risk their current victory for this crazy attempt if this was another trick of the Darkness to get control of Emma all over again. Emma nodded before focusing her attention back on Killian, allowing Regina to move until she stood next to the forgotten dagger, ready to take it if needed.

Emma took another couple of seconds to look at Killian’s face, turning her head as soon as her eyes started to burn again. Taking a deep breath, Emma pushed her hand inside her chest, wincing at the strange feeling caused by the intrusion. Thankfully she was able to find her heart quickly, carefully grabbing it before taking it out. The motion had her breathless for an instant, though it was Regina’s gasp that had her open her eyes and look at the queen.

“Emma-”

“What?” she answered a bit harshly.

“Your heart, it’s. It’s-”

Emma frowned, quickly focusing her attention to the beating organ in her hand, gasping in turn at the sight of it. She wasn’t expecting that at all. She had thought after all she’d done, after everything the Darkness did with her, she thought her heart would at least have the same dark spot that Killian’s had. She thought that it would have been stained. But sitting in her palm was a bright red heart, untouched by the Darkness. As the two women stared at it, the faint white glow enveloping the heart began to disappear.

“I, I don’t understand. H-how?” Emma looked at Regina for an answer she couldn’t find in her eyes.

“I don’t know, Emma. But, maybe...” The queen frowned before her eyes widened. “Your magic! It must have protected your heart all this time!”

Emma was speechless. She tried to remember a moment in which she could have willed her power to protect her, but she couldn’t recall any moment in particular. It was true she hadn’t followed the Darkness’ wishes willingly, fearing it would doublecross her, which ended up happening anyway, but she was having a hard time believing it was thanks to that. But again, when Cora tried to tear her heart out, it was her magic that protected her.

“Well, I have to admit it. There’s a chance that your plan might actually work.” Regina scoffed, unbelieving that she was actually agreeing to the crazy idea.

It was enough for Emma, though. She nodded at Regina before focusing solemnly on her still pure and beating heart. She closed her eyes, willing all her love for Killian into the heart in order to save him. When she felt ready, she slowly began to twist the organ, holding back a groan as it finally twisted and fell apart, each half beating steadily in each of her palms. Putting one half back inside her chest, she cradled the other between her hands, close to her chest as she leaned towards Killian’s face.

“Hang on, okay?” She breathed, closing his eyes before laying a soft kiss on each eyelid.

Looking at his peaceful face one last time, Emma softly smiled before taking a deep breath and squeezing her eyes shut, her hands pushing the remaining half into his body. Her fingers began to shine brightly as the wound in his chest slowly faded away. Emma waited, but she felt and heard nothing. Her belly clenched and she opened her eyes, feeling like her own heart had stopped at the motionless face of Killian.

“Stay with me,” she begged him one last time.

Her lips meet his cold ones, every cell of her body ready to feel the magical pulse that she was certain would follow her action. That was what True Love did right? The kiss would bring him back to her? But nothing happened and despair crashed over Emma in a wave.

“Emma, I’m… Sorry.”

Regina slowly walked away, meeting the rest of the group that had stood aside, not wanting to interfere with what was happening. Emma swallowed hard, unable to stop the new tears from staining her face. Why didn’t it work? What had she done wrong? Why wasn’t he opening his eyes? Suddenly freezing, Emma gathered her legs against her and with her face hidden, she slowly wiped her tears again, missing the twitch of Killian’s lips.

Killian’s eyes snapped open as he frantically sat up, trying to expel whatever was choking him. He couldn’t see past the panic, only calming slightly when someone grabbed him and beat him on the back, helping him free his airways. Coughing one last time to be sure his throat was empty, Killian furiously blinked, his hand grabbing the arm that was holding him in a sitting position. Everything was overwhelming and he struggled to free himself so he could see his savior. She looked back at him, both still panting for different reasons, but the moment his eyes settled on hers, her hands still above his heart, Killian felt it miss a beat, as if reacting to hers.

“S-swan,” he croaked, frowning as his hand felt the strong beating of the heart inside his chest. He’d been dead, he had sacrificed himself for her freedom. It all meant one thing. “You, you saved me.”

Emma chuckled, her mind racing. He was back, it had worked. She __saved__ him. Laughing heartily, she jumped on him, her arms wrapped tightly around his neck as she savoured the heat emanating from his body after being so cold. Her heart reacted to the low rumble from his chest, filling her with joy.

“I love you, Killian.”

She answered his own declaration from earlier, biting her lip as her own words settled in his mind. He simply stared at her, stunned by what she’d said before his lips met hers halfways, their noses bumping against each other as they kissed with fervour.

“Urr, couldn’t you save that for later?”

Regina’s complaint was immediately forgotten as a powerful whoosh exploded from the two lovers, throwing Regina and the Charmings off balance as they approached them at the sight of Killian awake. Once the magical rainbow faded away, Killian and Emma separated, both shocked by what happened. Killian stared at his Swan, rendered completely speechless. The dark leather was gone, replaced by her old white cloak, her hair finally free from the tight bun, the golden waves cascading over her shoulders. And by the gasp that echoed all around them, it was clear that Emma wasn’t the only one who was changed by the magical kiss. All around them, the inhabitants of the city rose from the ground, running toward their family members, Mary Margaret and David already welcoming back their friends while Regina held Henry close.

“We did it, Swan. We broke the curse!” Killian chuckled, relieved that everything was finally over.

“I, how?”

“Darling, you’ve saved me with your heart and a magical rainbow wave just appeared. What do you think it was, love?” Killian replied gently, shaking his head at her stunned face. The next thing he knew, Emma was slapping his chest playfully before dropping her head against his chest, right above his heart. He held her tight, kissing the crown of her head and closing his eyes, enjoying the bit of quiet moment they had, knowing full well it wouldn’t be long before someone interrupted them. He never thought it would come from the love he held in his arms.

“Emma? Swan what is it, love?”

“No…” She crawled on the ground, picking up the familiar dagger before returning to him. “Killian, I. Look.”

His face fell at the sight of the dagger she held with trembling hands. They might have broken a few curses, but the fight wasn’t over. Her name still engraved on the blade meant they still had to destroy the Darkness. And this time for good.


	9. Chapter VIII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The plan was back on track: destroy the darkness for good. But getting in touch with Merlin is a bit more complicated than planned. Thus Killian and Emma end up having time to catch up for all those months appart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another update that soon? Hell yeah! Though, it will mean the end of that baby will be sooner T^T But it had been a hell of a ride to write it and I’m amazed by all your kinds comments on it ♥ Thank you all for reading that lill story and I hope you will like how it end!
> 
> On that, I let you enjoy that more fluff and love chapter ;D

“He's on a _what_?” Emma yelled, only restraining herself from shaking the small man in a red tunic because of Killian’s firm grasp around her hand.

“Like I said, Miss. Sir Merlin is on a very urgent mission.”

“How long will he be gone?”

“He wasn’t exactly precise about how long he’d be, but my best guess would be two weeks at least...”

“ _Two_ weeks?!”

“We can’t wait that long! We’ve already lost too much time!” Regina exclaimed, gesticulating wildly in the air. “There’s no telling how long the Darkness will remain quiet! What if it’s planning something right now?”

“As you may know, Madam, Si-”

“It’s ‘Your Majesty!’”

“Your Majesty,” the man repeated, keeping his exasperation to himself. “Sir Merlin is able to predict what has yet to happen. I’m sure he had his reasons for leaving. Now is there anything I can help you with while my Master isn’t available?”

“Just tell him to get in touch with me as soon as he’s back. Have a good day.”

Regina stormed out, the rest of the group apologizing for the trouble before following the queen. They didn’t pause until they were out of the tower, Regina already heading for the exit of Camelot’s castle.

“Wait, Regina!” Mary Margaret jogged to her side, trying to get her to stop a moment, without much success.

“I said, we’re going back to Storybrooke!”

“Wait, what? We’ve traveled all the way here, to just go back home right away?” David stopped in his tracks.

“Mom, can’t we stay here a little longer? This place is just so cool!” Henry added, eying the medieval courtyard with excitement.

“No. If we have to wait for the damn wizard, we’ll do it back home. Now get along, the portal doesn’t stay open long.” The queen ended the discussion as she threw the bean, activating the portal back home.

While Emma was disappointed they couldn’t fix things right now, and was a bit tired from the indeed non-stop action since they broke the curse, she couldn’t argue Regina’s point. She’d much rather wait in her house with her son and her True Love, rather than stay here in some old and unfamiliar cottage. Everyone regrouped around the queen, stepping through the portal and the next minute they were all back in the small quiet town.

“Alright, Miss Swan? Don’t do anything stupid while we wait for Merlin or that dagger of yours is staying with me for the safety of all of us. Henry, where are you sleeping tonight?” She turned toward her son, waiting for him to decide with whom he wanted to stay.

“I... can I stay with mom for the night? I, I’ve missed her a lot and-”

“Of course, Henry. Let me know when you want to come home, okay?”

“Okay, Mom! See you later!”

Henry gave her one last tight hug before he walked back to Emma, snuggling into the tight embrace between Emma and Killian. The two of them chuckled as the boy hugged his mother while Killian gently ruffled his hair.

David and Mary Margaret watched them, peaceful smiles on their faces to see their daughter finally back in loving arms. Finally, the tension left their bodies and fatigue settled in.

“Well then, we’ll leave you three for the evening!” Mary Margaret excused themselves, dragging David along so they too could go back home with their little prince.

“I, umh, s-sorry, Mom. I...” Emma watched the small brunette face her once more. “I know I’ve just returned and that you’ve been worried and-”

“It’s okay, darling. These two guys have been missing you, too.” David added, nodding toward the pirate.

“But you’ve-”

“And the two of you look like you need some rest,” Mary Margaret cut her off, looking at the shadows under their eyes and pale faces. “I know we have a lot to catch up on, but we also haven’t actually stopped since last night, so no more argument. We all take a break tonight and if you wish, we can have a family brunch tomorrow at our place.”

“Okay, yeah! Sounds good.”

“Yay! I love brunch! Oh, can Mom come too?” Henry almost jumped in excitement.

“We’ll ask her tomorrow, lad. For now, let’s all go home, shall we?”

After bidding their farewells, both groups departed for their respective homes. As they walked, Emma was stunned as Henry regaled her with all the stories of what had happened since she’d left them, barely taking a breath in his summary.

As they approached the blue house, Emma slowed down a bit, looking at it as if it was the first time she’d seen it. She could remember that despite being controlled by the Darkness, she had somehow been able to choose the house where she had hidden. The one Killian and Henry had picked from the newspaper back in Camelot, the one she could see a future in. One with Henry and Killian by her side. Emma sighed as an overwhelming sense of peace enveloped her. Killian must have sensed her heightened emotions. He held her tight against his side, whispering reassurances in her ear, as they climbed the steps, watching Henry open the door then bound excitedly through it.

Once inside, she closed her eyes and focused, using her magic to move all their stuff in before sending Henry upstairs for a shower, finally gaining some time alone with Killian. Before he would go however, she had to promise him she wouldn’t disappear and that he could tell her the rest of his stories while they ate in front of the TV.

“Gosh, I love that kid, but sometimes I wonder where he gets all that energy,” Emma said, resting her head on Killian’s shoulder.

“Aye. He’s quite an amazing lad,” Killian agreed, chuckling, bringing her closer to his side. “But I can’t blame him for wanting to share his experiences with you. He’s been missing you quite a lot, Swan.” Emma turned in his arms, facing him with a soft smile. He looked down at her with a gentle smile of his own, one she desperately missed. “As did I.”

“Mmm, I can tell,” she purred back, feeling the heat rise between them. “And how about I show you just how much I’ve missed you, too?”

She rose on her toes and placed a gentle kiss on his lips, one he reciprocated, igniting the fire deep within her stomach, making her desperate for more. The next kiss was more passionate, Killian moaning against her mouth, the tip of his tongue sliding against her lips until she opened and allowed him to deepen the kiss. Emma was about to spontaneously combust if not for Henry’s exclamations coming from above, bringing the magic between them to a screeching halt. Killian seemed quite disappointed as well, if his deep groan was any indication.

“I hope you guys haven’t started the movie without me,” the lad hollered, running from the bathroom to his bedroom to jump into his pajamas.

“I guess you’ll have to wait a bit more…”

“You should know by now, I’m a very patient man, Swan.” Killian stole one last kiss before looking at the stairs, already hearing the footsteps of Henry. “I’m sure it will be worth the wait.”

“Yeah, well for that, we’ll have to find a good... What did you call them? Quiet moments?”

“Aye, love. But we’ll find one.”

“Alright, I’m ready!” Henry exclaimed, landing just in front of the couple. “Can we order pizza, Mom? I’m sure Killian would love it!! You have to try it, Killian!”

“I don’t know what that is, but as long as it’s healthy, I’m all for trying.”

“Good try, buddy.” Emma chuckled. “But I don’t think pizza can be considered ‘healthy’.” Emma eyed her son who brought up his best puppy eyes. “Though, I’ve got to say, the pirate must try it. So, pizza it is.”

Henry jumped in the air, running toward the drawer where the pizza delivery flyer was, picking his pizza before running back toward the living room to set the table and ready the DVD player for the movie night. The order complete, they settled onto the sofa, Henry in between them, ruining the chance Emma had to snuggle against her boyfriend, who was now officially her True Love. She still couldn’t believe it. All of the events these past months have been crazy, but this? To have the chance to sit down with the two people she loved the most and just enjoy themselves with a pizza and movie night? She never thought it’d be possible.

While Henry tried to explain the movie to Killian, who was utterly lost, she took a moment to just look at them, a proud smile on her face. Henry had barely had any time to get to know his real father, but watching him interact with Killian, she remembered all the times he had taken care of Henry, just being so good with him. She couldn’t help but hope that maybe one day, Henry would see Killian as the father figure he didn’t have anymore. She was drawn out of her happy thoughts by her boys arguing about something in the now paused movie. Though, she reflected to herself, it was bound to happen the moment Henry picked the first _Pirates of the Caribbean_ movie.

“So Swan, what’s your opinion of the two rascals?” Killian asked her, hoping to gain her support to win the argument against the lad.

“I, umh, I-I don’t know about those dudes-” she took a quick look at the screen with a frown before settling her attention back on her two boys, “-but it looks like there has been some serious bonding between you two while I wasn’t here.”

Emma started to regret bringing this up now, as the remark rekindled Henry’s great tale of what he’d done while she was gone. At least, it gave Killian an opportunity to snuggle closer to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders once Henry stood up and told her about everything, demonstrating different things he’d learned.

“Oh, and Mom! Did you know Killian took me on the Jolly several times? And I got to sail her! Without Killian’s help!”

“Wow, that’s great kid!”

“Aye, he’s quite a sailor, though, you’ve yet to master reading the weather, lad,” Killian added, winking at Henry.

“The what?”

“Oh, my god! Yeah, Mom! One afternoon, we went out, and it was so sunny and warm,” Henry started, hardly pausing between his words, “and then, Killian was able to see the storm coming before the clouds even started to turn gray!! It was unbelievable!”

“Aye, well, I’ll teach you that one day, but I’m afraid it’s all for another night, Henry.” Killian gently stopped the discussion right here, not wishing to speak about what also happened that day, much less when Emma looked between him and the lad with a big frown.

“O-oh… Yeah, you’re right, Killian,” Henry agreed, recalling how the discussion ended last time. “I’ll go make the popcorn, then! And we can watch the rest of the movies!”

Emma started to protest, wanting nothing more than to end the movie night so she and Killian could go to their own bedroom, but Henry had already vanished into the kitchen to prepare the movie snacks. Killian chuckled lightly, giving Emma a kiss before hugging her tight against his body. Well, if the movie was going to end like this, she wouldn’t say no to a second one, or maybe more.

By the end of the fourth movie, the three of them were asleep. KIllian and Henry’s snores roused Emma, who tried to move as carefully as possible from under the blanket she had wrapped around herself and Killian at the beginning of the second movie.

“Swan?” Killian’s rough voice asked, making Emma bite her lip, embarrassed she had woken him. “Wha-what time is it?”

“Past 1AM... we should move upstairs before we catch a cold, or something,” she mumbled back as she shivered lightly.

“Aye, you’re right.” He sneaked a kiss while she scrubbed her eyes, untangling himself from the blanket before kneeling next to Henry.

“Killian, you don’t have to, we can-”

“It’s quite alright, Swan,” Killian whispered, gently taking the sleeping boy in his arms. “No need to wake him up. He had quite a long day.”

“Thank you.” It was all Emma could whisper back as she watched Killian carrying her son to his bed. _Seriously, how perfect can he be?_

“Go get changed, love. I’ll be right after you.”

Emma felt the blush slowly cover her face as he winked at her and disappeared from her view. Yeah, her boyfriend was definitely perfect. Quickly heading for the bathroom, she took a look at herself, trying not to sigh at her reflection. She looked tired, the smudged mascara not helping to hide it. Nor for that matter, were her red rimmed eyes. Taking off her clothes, she turned on the hot water and stepped into the shower, letting the spray wash over her sore body. She didn’t realize how long she’d been there until she heard a knock against the steamy glass.

“Oh! I-I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I’ve been in here for so long, Killian. Just, just let me wash and-”

“May I join you?”

That took her by surprise. She hadn’t even considered that he might have wanted to take a shower, too. It suddenly occurred to her that they’d never been _that_ intimate. But the way things were going, it was only a matter of time before they would see each other naked.

“I, yeah, sure,” she mumbled, shivering at the rush of cold air as Killian opened the door and slid in behind her, his hand and wrist resting on her hips.

She waited for him to speak but he never opened his mouth. She relaxed a bit against him, the water pouring over him before his lips started to trace patterns against her skin, from her chin to her neck, his hand coming to caress her shoulder as she sighed, feeling his scruff graze against her opposite shoulder as he continued to place soft kisses on her body. The words were unspoken, but she could hear them loud and clear. _I’ve missed you, I love you_. Gently, she turned herself in his arms, facing him, her hands hesitantly reaching for him, her eyes never leaving his as she cupped his face and kissed him back, pouring all her love for him into the kiss. They stayed like that, just holding each other close, until a particularly strong shiver took hold of her and they realized the water was now cold.

“Let’s get you warm, love.”

Emma nodded against his chest, feeling his arm move before the water stopped. He eased them out of the small shower, wrapping her in the warm towel she had prepared. She blinked the water out of her eyes, watching him search for a towel for himself, her eyes tracing the lines of his muscular back, appreciating the naked form of his body.

“Like what you see, Swan?” he softly teased as he came back next to her. He kissed her rosy cheeks before leading them out of the room.

While Killian swore they could have had sex right at the bottom of the staires earlier, the situation had completly changed and all he wanted to do was to hold Emma tight against him, lay in their bed and let their bodies and souls rest in peace. _Their_ bed. He couldn't believe it. The house he’d picked for her was theirs and she was his just as he was hers. He had held his breath when he’d asked if he could join her in the shower, not knowing how she would react to what they now were. But luck was on his side and all her walls had remained down. He watched her reach for her underwear, his gaze following with amazement at the way the fabric only enhanced the curves of her body before his view was hidden by the dark fabric of a too familiar shirt.

“I hope that’s okay,” she said, toying with her bottom lip. “I didn’t feel like putting on another kind of tee and that one was just very appealing and...”

“You don’t have to explain, love.” He quickly closed the distance between them. “You can borrow anything of mine, any time, Swan.”

He stole her lips one more time for a languid kiss. Releasing her, he slipped his own underwear on in one swift move. He almost missed the luxury the return of his left hand had brought when Emma had to tug at the elastic band to help him finish covering his bum. Almost.

Minutes later, they were splayed on the king size bed, staring deep into each other’s eyes. His hand gently found its way past his shirt, resuming the tracing of his love’s body he’d done under the spray of the shower, looking at his Swan who closed her eyes, fully enjoying the moment as he focused on mapping the rest of her body with his finger tips, leaving a trail of goosebump in his path. When he reached the end of her back, she wrapped her arms around him and lifted her leg to his hip, trapping him against her. She simply shushed him when he started to say something, kissing his lips before resting her forehead against his. And all he could do was surrender to her wishes and enjoy the moment of silence.

Emma sighed at the closeness of his body. While she had loved the way he’d caressed her, making her feel alive under his warm and rough hand, all she wanted now was to simply bathe in the warmth of his body and let her nose be filled by his unique scent of sea and salt and something inexplicably Killian Jones. In that moment she realized just how much she missed this. Missed feeling his solid presence by her side, the sound of his voice, his smile, the way his eyes seemed to shine with all the love he had for her, how his eyebrows look like they had a mind of their own, missed the way his hot breath landed on her face, the way her blood rushed every time his hand brushed against her own. So many simple things.

As they held each other, their breath and heartbeats began to synchronise until all she could feel was one, as if her own heart was suddenly knitting together again. Her eyes fluttered open, his ocean blues gazing back at her, and she inhaled deeply, her lips parting a bit. In that very moment she felt complete. Like she was truly and completely whole, all her needs fulfilled. And that sensation was exhilarating, almost intoxicating. She moved even closer, meeting Killian’s lips with her own. She could only assume he’d felt it too, his arms holding her even more tightly as they slowly kissed, chasing and nipping at the others swollen lips. The slow and sensuous dance of their mouths was enough for them at the present moment as her hands gently scratched at his scalp while his molded to her warm skin. Their movements progressively slowed, until they were completely still, eyes closed, their deep respiration the only sound in the room while the steadiness of their heartbeat echoed in their ears and settled in their very souls.

That night they fell asleep still tightly wrapped in each other’s love.

* * *

“So, Emma, I was thinking, maybe Henry could stay here for a bit,” Mary Margaret said, quietly.

“I, but Mom, I already told you! It doesn’t bother me or Killian to have Henry at home.”

While she wasn’t against the idea of having the house to herself and Killian, Emma couldn’t help feeling bad that her parents were taking care of Henry again when they’d probably done it often enough while she wasn’t here to do it.

But Mary Margaret had other plans. She gave her daughter a significant look before they both turned toward Henry who was having fun playing with his uncle. The way Emma had clung to Killian since they’d arrived this morning hadn’t escaped Mary Margaret’s notice. She could tell that Emma was desperate to have some alone time with her man and she’d be a terrible mother if she didn’t help her. She grabbed Emma’s shoulder, giving her a gentle squeeze.

“I know, honey,” she began, “but see, your father wanted to take a small break from the station and I’m pretty sure he’ll be happy to have all the help he can get in entertaining your little brother. And I’m sure too, that Henry will love the idea.”

Emma opened her mouth but found she had nothing to counter the argument. And the idea of having an empty house for a few days was really sounding good. She had missed her pirate a _lot_ , and she didn’t feel comfortable doing anything while they had a teenager under the same roof.

“Mom, are you sure?”

“Yes, Emma. And if you’re worried about us, you know Regina will be more than happy to have Henry with her.”

“Okay.” She sighed in relief. “Thanks, Mom.”

“Anytime, sweetie.”

With a kiss on the cheek, Mary Margaret left her side to go announce the news to her grandson, who, just as she predicted, was more than happy to stay with them for a few days.

Emma shook her head and returned to Killian’s side with a content smile on her lips, letting herself fall on his lap.

“What happened to make you so happy, Swan?” Killian asked, amused.

“My mom happened,” Emma answered proudly, already thinking of what they could do tonight.

“Mmmh, quite a woman, indeed...What did she do, exactly?”

Killian tilted his head, a motion she suddenly found quite endearing. She tried to bite down on her grin, but unsurprisingly, failed.

“We get the house to ourselves for a few days.”

“Huh. Well, Swan, you’ll have to remind me to extend my thanks to your mother later.” He chased her lips for a quick kiss before Henry stormed in.

“You guys _need_ to come see what we’ve just found!!”

“Come on, love. I’d say we’ll have plenty of quiet moments once we arrive home.”

Emma allowed Killian to stand up, though not without a long sigh, before they followed her boy to see whatever discovery he’d made with his uncle. Emma’s mind was already preoccupied with the coming days alone with her pirate, although she did try to concentrate on the, admittedly, beautiful rock they’d found.

 _Yeah, we really should call it a day_ , she concluded when she caught her parents giving her another strange look and she realized that she had missed something in the conversation again.

~/~

“So, Swan, what do you have in mind?” Killian asked, laying on his back, his arms behind his head so he could look at her while she giddily made little swirls in his chest hair with her finger.

“I don’t know,” she whispered. She suddenly stopped her motion, her eyes looking up at him. “Is this bothering you?” she asked with a frown.

“Absolutely not, love. I just,” Killian stopped to free his hand, replacing a falling lock back behind her ear. “You seemed quite distracted earlier, at your parents. I thought you’d concocted something for us.”

She stared at him for a second, thinking that she had indeed thought of things to do, but then a huge yawn escaped him and she realized that as perfect as last night had been, they really hadn’t slept that much.

“Yeah, well, I’ve changed my mind,” she purred, snuggling closer to his face, planting a kiss on top of his nose. “I think I’d prefer a quiet evening, something cozy where we could just, you know, be. If you’re okay with it?” she asked, looking up at him.

“Aye, love. I’d like that very much,” he agreed with a shy smile. He didn’t know why, but his body was screaming for him to rest, and well, her plans were perfect for that. They’d have enough time for more enjoyable activities tomorrow night.

“Good.”

They continued to snuggle and gently caress each other, touches designed to soothe, not arouse, until sleep finally claimed them. When Killian’s hand stopped in the middle of her spine, Emma’s eyes fluttered open before she mumbled something and slid off him so they could sleep more comfortably and she could turn off the soft light that she’d kept on. The room was plunged into darkness and her eyes fluttered shut.

A few hours later, she opened them again, this time fully awake. Checking the small radio alarm, she realized it was the middle of the night. _Why am I waking up now?_ she grumbled to herself, her fingers scrubbing her eyes before she turned herself to face Killian’s back, snuggling closer to him in hope that his scent would lure her back to sleep. It worked for a time, but all too soon she found herself wide awake again with no interest in closing her eyes. _Better not wake him with your silly mood_. She carefully extracted herself from the sheets, immediately missing Killian’s warmth. His peaceful face was all she needed to remind herself that she was still cursed. That while it was amazing that she somehow had been able to sleep last night, Killian on the other hand, was a normal human again, with basic needs that included sleeping. Walking on her tiptoes, she slipped quietly out of the bedroom and headed downstairs for a cup of hot chocolate, hoping it would allow her to relax before returning to his side and waiting for the night to end.

Killian took a deep breath, willing his body to wake up. He felt as if he was trapped inside his own dream, unable to wake up no matter what he did. The only thing he was sure of, was that every time he closed his eyes in the dream, attempting to open them again back in their own damn bed, he was thrown right back into the nightmare. After yet another failure, Killian decided to stop fighting, allowing his mind to go blank. Thankfully, this seemed to do the trick as he felt his surroundings change after a long moment of waiting. Slowly, he cracked open his eyes, inhaling deeply as he saw the chair in their bedroom with their clothes hanging on it. Killian noticed with a frown that only his clothes were on it, Emma’s milky white robe missing. Not completely awake and not sure if he wasn’t still dreaming, a pit of anguish formed in his belly as he sat up, turning to face the empty side of the bed next to him.

“Swan?” he mumbled, his voice heavy with sleep as his hand moved over the cold sheets.

Panic rose within him at Emma’s unexpected disappearance. Shaking his head a little to clear it, Killian jumped out of the bed, slowing his steps as he forced himself to look closely around the room. Maybe she was just using the facilities. He was trying desperately to keep from falling completely into the panic that the idea of Emma being gone held. But it was definitely easier said than done. He looked one last time at the now empty bed as he exited the bedroom, turning his head just before he could collide with the familiar golden haired figure, spilling whatever beverage she had between her hands.

“Killian?” Emma asked, putting her mug down on the side table. “Are you- Humf!” She couldn’t even finish her question when she found herself wrapped in his arms as if she had been gone for far longer than the barely ten minutes she had been.

Killian couldn’t stop himself from hugging her tightly against him, anchoring himself to her, breathing in the floral scented shampoo she used, while his brain kept repeating that she was there, she was real. The strange dreams had left him uneasy and disoriented. When he woke and couldn’t find her, it had suddenly been too much to handle. Though now that she was in his arms, it only took a few seconds for his heart to fall in synchronization with hers, allowing his mind to quiet the voices.

“Mmf-” Killian opened his eyes, loosening his grip so Emma could free her face from his chest. “Hey, hey,” she soothed, cupping his face, “You okay there, Killian?”

“Aye, love. I just...” _She’s gone through a lot too, she doesn’t need your silly worries_ , his mind answered for him. “I..." he trailed away, “Let’s, let’s just go back to bed, love.” Killian finished, trying to suppress a yawn while he shook his head. Now that he knew she was back and hadn’t simply disappeared, his adrenaline faded, his body begging for more rest.

“Okay. Just let me go back to the kitchen to put that down and-”

“Emma, it’s the middle of night, can’t it wait?”

She sighed. “Well, I...” She noticed how his head kept falling forward as he fought to remain awake. “Hey, just go ahead and I’ll join you. I just need 10 seconds, okay?”

A sad pout formed on his face, before he finally nodded and began to shuffle back in the direction of their bed, his hand only releasing hers when she didn’t follow him. As promised, she took less than a minute to put the empty mug in the sink, before going back to their bedroom. Entering the room, she saw that Killian was already sleeping, the bed lamp still on. His position on the bed told her he’d tried to wait for her but had lost the fight. She smiled, shaking her head before crawling back in the bed and pulling the covers over them. She settled herself comfortably against Killian and closed her eyes, simply enjoying his presence, his warmth and scent enveloping her for the rest of the night.

To her surprise, morning arrived much sooner than she’d expected. She turned toward Killian when she felt him stir behind her, already smiling, but when he said nothing, she opened her eyes, realizing he was still sleeping and had simply moved, not woken. The deep frown plastered on his face however, worried her and Emma sat up, her hand reaching toward him to stroke his head.

“Shh, Killian. It’s okay, it’s just a bad dream. Everything’s alright, I’m alright, you’re okay,” she whispered, continuing to cradle his face until whatever bad thoughts were plaguing his mind disappeared and he looked peaceful again.

She knew she couldn’t sleep anymore, so Emma sat up in their bed, resting her back against the headboard so she could see Killian’s face and help ease the nightmares every time they came back. It was no big surprise now, why he had almost crushed her in his arms after she disappeared from their bed, she thought. Emma shook her head, making the promise that she wouldn’t repeat that mistake. All she had to do for the next few days was to find something to do while staying in their bed and pretending to sleep.

“Swan?” Emma looked down at the still very sleepy pirate looking at her in confusion.

“Morning, handsome,” she teased, leaving a light kiss on his frown. “Did you sleep well?”

He seemed to need more time to comprehend what she said. He blinked himself awake, looking around before trying to push himself up next to her. But she shook her head and slid down next to him instead, her fingers coming to toy with his chest hair while she waited for his answer.

“So…?”

“I- umh, aye, but you- why are you up?” He asked when his brain couldn’t think of a reason why his love was awake so early. The sun had barely risen and his internal clock was telling him it was still early.

“Well, you’ve been a bit agitated and I just wanted to help and...”

“Bloody hell,” he interrupted, “I woke you up, didn’t I?” Killian cursed, passing his hand over his face in frustration, already drawing his own conclusion from her vague answer.

“You did not, Killian. I was just,” she hesitated, “not as sleepy as I thought. That’s all. That’s why I went downstairs in the first place. So stop worrying about me.” Emma playfully slapped his chest. Making him feel like it was his fault she was awake was the last thing she wanted.

“Ah, y-you sure, Swan?”

“Yes. Now relax. Go back to sleep. Like you said, it’s still early.” She sealed his lips with her own before wrapping herself in his arms, resting her eyes until she was sure Killian would go back to sleep.

Killian remained confused for a few moments before finally relaxing. He held Emma tight in his arms, checking to make sure she had really gone back to sleep. At least she appeared to be. She might have said he hadn’t woken her with his nightmares, but Killian could recall hearing her voice in the dream. Part of him was glad she was there because it helped him sleep through the rest of the night. But it also meant she didn’t sleep as much as she was pretending. And there was only one reason for that fact. The Dark One curse was coming back and while not being able to sleep was just a tiny inconvenience, who knew how long they had before the bloody demon was back, taunting her, starting to plot another evil scheme? Taking one last loving look at her peaceful face, Killian swore to himself to look after her even more so they could prevent the worse from happening until they could meet Merlin and put a real end to this.

The rest of the morning passed with Killian alternating between sleep and full awareness each time he felt Emma move next to him. He would stealthily open an eye to try to see was she up to. By the end of the day, Killian was certain something was wrong. He was sure Emma was not sleeping at all while he, on the other hand, was wanting to do nothing but sleep. It was annoying and frustrating him as his brain searched for the reason for that development, without success. Except, of course, of making Emma suspicious about his change in behavior. The worst of it when he had been about to take his third nap of the day and could swear he heard the familiar whispers.

When evening came, Killian felt awful for not pursuing more enjoyable activities, preferring instead to go to bed earlier. Emma assured him it was fine, but he couldn’t help but hate himself for ruining what was left of the time granted them thanks to her parent’s proposition. Killian crawled into bed with his guts knotted with anguish.

“Hey, you’re alright?”

“Aye.” Killian answered curtly, biting his tongue right away. “I mean, yeah, I just, I’m just tense.”

“It’s okay. Look, I know you think things are gonna get worse,” he looked at her with a frown, before remembering that she wasn’t the only open book and that she could read him too. “But I promise, Killian, everything is fine and I’m sure it will stay that way until we can see Merlin.”

“Aye, I hope you’re right, Swan.” He gave her a sad smile.

“I am. Now how about we put all the troubles and incertitudes aside and focus on relaxing?”

Emma tried her best to sound convincing, a bright smile appearing on her lips when Killian finally nodded and released a deep sigh before sliding further into the bed so she could hug him tight and rest her head on his shoulder, letting his hand take hold of hers. It didn’t take long to have him fully asleep under her ministrations. Once she was certain he wouldn’t wake up if she moved, Emma turned to grab the small book she had left on the nightstand, smiling proudly when she saw that her little magical trick worked, the shiny ink in the book allowing her to read in the dark without Killian noticing that she was awake. It was a great plan until she heard his breath hitch, his muscles twitching beside her before she heard him start to mumble her name in a distressed voice. She let go of her book and reached for the small lamp before focusing back on him.

“It’s just a bad dream, Killian. It’s okay, you’re alright.” But the gentle mantra seemed to send him further into a panic state, leaving Emma with only one solution. “Killian, come on babe, wake up! It’s just a dream, Killian. Wake up!” She started to shake his shoulders until he finally opened his eyes, gasping before his vision focused on her.

“S-swan? What?”

“It’s okay, Kilian, it was just a nightmare.” She hushed him, grabbing his trembling hand and holding it against her. “Everything’s okay.”

“I, I’m sorry.” He swallowed the lump in the back of his throat, looking around until the remnants of the panic settled. Once he regained control, Killian closed his eyes, taking deep breaths.

“Feeling a bit better?” Emma whispered, stroking his cheek with her free hand.

“Aye.” His answer was accompanied with a firm nod before his stormy blue eyes stared back at her. “I’m sorry I woke you up, Swan. Perhaps it’s best if we sleep in different rooms.”

“What?”

“If I keep disturbing your nights with my bloody dreams, I think it’s best if-”

“What are you saying, Killian?” Emma looked at him, trying to hide the hurt caused by his suggestion. “Killian, when I said that I loved you, I meant it! We... fuck! We’re ‘True Love’!” she exclaimed, frustrated. “If we can’t handle a few bad dreams... I mean, Killian... it’s just dreams! Everyone can have nightmares, and the best way to deal with them is together! I know you’ve been on your own since Camelot but I’m back, I’m here with you! You don’t have to push me away just so I can sleep.”

Killian stared at her, his jaw clenching at the bite in her words. But she was right. Taking a moment to gather his thoughts and emotions, Killian bit the inside of his cheek before closing his eyes.

“I’m sorry, you’re right, Emma,” he answered, looking down at himself in shame.

“It’s alright. We’re both tired and all, but remember.” She grabbed his face between her hands, looking at him right in the eyes. “We’re in this together, okay? Good and bad moments, right?”

“Aye, love.”

“Good.” She smiled softly at him before erasing his remaining troubles with a kiss.

“I love you, Swan.”

“I know. Now close your eyes.”

Emma extinguished the light, making sure that Killian slept before she turned herself on her side and opened her book again. As the night passed, she was surprised she didn’t have to deal with another nightmare. Killian stayed almost perfectly still behind her, only shifting a bit when she turned to check on him. The fact that he didn’t snore like he did the first night piqued her curiosity and while he seemed to be well rested in the morning, her suspicion swirled at the back of her mind the rest of the day, until she noticed how Killian seemed to get significantly more tired with every minute that passed.

She decided it was time to do something when Killian fell asleep again while watching a movie. She waited until he woke up with a start after he’d started snoring, massaging his eyes before clearing his throat and snuggling closer to her.

“You know, I could help you.”

“Help me with what, Swan?” She stopped the movie, facing him as he raised his eyebrow.

“With the nightmares. I can make sure they won’t stop you from sleeping.”

“Nonsense, love. I’m alright.” He quickly dismissed her worry with a smile.

“Yet, you didn’t sound like you were _alright_ last night.” Killian scoffed at her remark, his tongue poking the inside of his cheek.

“Aye, maybe. But you helped and everything was alright after,” he answered back in a low voice, turning his gaze away.

“I wouldn’t be so sure. Killian, look at me.” She waited for him to do as she asked before continuing. “Did you actually fall asleep? Or were you just faking it.”

“You sound like you’re the one who didn’t sleep and watched over me all night, love.”

“Killian, that’s not an answer! I could feel how still you were behind me. I’m not judging you, Killian. That’s not my point here. I mean, it’s okay not to want to sleep after having a damn nightmare but you just fell asleep for the fourth time since we started the movie.” She paused a moment, looking at the way his jaw muscle kept jumping, knowing she was right about him not having slept at all. “You have to rest or you won’t be able to keep it together much longer.”

“So what, Swan? You’re planning on using magic to make me sleep? Because the answer is _no_. I don’t need magic to help me sleep and you know that until Merlin helps you get rid of your bloody curse, it’s not safe for you to use that power.”

“This isn’t about my magic. I can damn well take-”

“Emma, I’ve lost you to the darkness once already!” He cut her off, his self-control finally breaking. She looked taken aback by his outburst and Killian pulled her against him. “Swan , I, I can’t let you endanger yourself for just a few nightmares. I couldn’t live with myself if I lost you to the darkness a second time, love.”

They held each other in silence, Killian making sure to show her just how much he loved her, hoping she understood why he was angry with the whole situation. He lay one last kiss on top of her head before letting go of her. She looked back at him with a watery smile.

“I get it, Killian. And you won’t lose me again, I promise. But I can’t let you endure these dreams without doing something.”

“Emma, love. I told you...”

“I know. And when I said I could help, I was thinking more along the lines of brewing tea with medicinal plants and herbs. When I had a nightmare,” she began, holding his hand and hook on her lap, “and was alone to deal with them, I knew making some hot chocolate with cinnamon would help me go back to sleep. And during the first curse, when I first met my mom, she always shared some chamomile or hot chocolate to help me deal with them.” Emma smiled at the memory she had of that time, and judging by the small smile on Killian’s lips, she knew he finally saw her point. “So I thought that I could do the same for you, in hopes it could help ease all those worries in that handsome head of yours and help you sleep peacefully, like that first night.”

Killian knew she meant well, trying to help him deal with the nightmares that seemed to be getting worse with each night, but he couldn’t stop thinking about how she wasn’t sleeping either. And they should be focusing on that rather than his problems. He could wait until Merlin was back. But with their last conversations, he also knew if he didn’t agree to let her brew some tea for him, she would be tempted to use her magic and that, he couldn’t allow.

“Alright, if you think it’s worth a try, love.”

“I know it will help. Now, how about you get some rest while I go get those herbs?”

He was about to argue with her, but his body betrayed him once again after Emma helped him get comfortable on the sofa and left him with a kiss. He nodded as she turned from him and surrendered to the call of sleep. Time passed and Killian was back in the dreamscape. Though it was a less anxiety-provoking setting now than it was at night, Killian still had to fight his way out of the place until he finally woke up, cold sweat at the back of his neck, his throat trying to squeeze shut. Cursing, _Come on mate. This isn’t real_ , he passed his hand over his face before getting up. He needed to find something to keep his mind busy until Emma returned and they could go on with their life, keeping his mind away from the shadow of the dream. He felt like it was following him, like a real shadow, waiting to torture him at the first opportunity.

Emma was the proof that all his worries were just dreams. She wasn’t gone, she’d saved him and she would be free from the Dark One curse soon. Closing his eyes, Killian shook away the dreadful idea that plagued his nights. His life wasn’t fake, it wasn’t just an illusion. They had shared True Love’s kiss, meaning whatever spell had been cast on him was gone. But as much as he tried to convince himself of this reality, it was getting harder and harder to do so with the lack of sleep and his brain creating the voices whispering in his ears. Or were they real? Before Killian could really ponder the possibility, Emma opened the door, her arms full of bags.

“Hey, how was your nap?”

“Fine. Thanks, love. That’s quite a lot of herbs you have there, Swan.” Killian chuckled, coming to help her set everything on the table.

“I know, but as I’m not Hermione Granger, I took some extra in case I don’t succeed at tea making.”

“Who?”

“Hermione Gr- you know what? I’ll make your tea and then we can watch Harry Potter so you can understand.”

“As you wish, Swan.”

It took Emma a few attempts before the tea was drinkable, but by the end of the evening, she was happy with her brew and couldn’t wait to see if it would help Killian. It was supposed to help stop the nightmares, a bit like a dreamcatcher. At least, watching Harry Potter allowed them to relax, her laugh filling the house as he commented on everything.

“Swan, how is that even plausible? Magic always comes with a price! That Harry can’t do things like that!”

“Babe, it’s just a movie!” Emma laughed.

“You don’t care about it do you?” Killian lifted his eyebrow, turning off the TV before standing above his Swan. “You’re making me watch those silly movies just to see my reaction, aren’t you?”

“Maybe…” She smirked at him.

“Mmh, I’m afraid a punishment is in order, Swan.”

“Oh? What do you have in mind, Captain?”

“You’ll see.”

Killian’s eyes darkened as he held her wrists above her head, locking them with his hook as he kissed her hungrily, his hand slowly moving down her body. Emma gasped at his choice of torture, not regretting in the slightest frustrating him with the movie. Not until she felt his fingers begin tickling her without mercy, his hunger seemingly dissipated as she felt him grin against her neck as he kept up the attack.

“You have got to be kidding me! How’s that your sanc-sanction?” Emma gasped between laughs, her body trying to move away from his hand while she tried to free her own from his hook to fight back.

“I’d say this is perfectly befitting your actions,” he replied with a wink before using his mouth to tickle the skin of her neck making her gasp, her finally free hands coming to grab his head to stop him.

“Alright, aright, I apologize! Geez, Killian! Stop it!” She begged while trying to stop laughing, her face wet with tears.

“Mmmh, I don’t know sailor, I don’t think you’ve laughed enough,” Killian teased, though giving her some respite.

“H-how about I make it up to you upstairs?”

“Sounds like a deal.”

Killian released her, stealing one last kiss before stepping aside so she could stand up too. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, kissing him back with just as much hunger as he’d poured on her before deciding to tickle her. Her hands flew to his shirt, slowly unbuttoning it while he groaned against her lips. His hand and hook held her tightly, pressing her against him until she could feel his hard length pushing against her, making her moan in return. The magical moment continued until she suddenly broke their kiss, putting her hands against his chest before she looked down.

“What is it, love?” Killian asked, still panting heavily.

“It’s just...let’s get you your tea before we continue, okay? Otherwise we’re going to forget about it and-”

“Just bring it, Swan.” He sighed deeply, grabbing her chin before she could go anywhere. “But just so you know, you’ve just earned another punishment for breaking such an enjoyable quiet moment,” Killian growled.

She bit down on her lips but nodded before going for the tea pot and pouring him a mug of the tea. Killian eyed it with a grimace, the smell of it already making him wince.

“Come on, it’s just tea. I’m not making you drink some of Regina’s potions.”

Glaring at her, Killian took a deep breath before drinking the tea in one swallow. To his surprise, it didn’t taste nearly as horribly as he thought it would.

“There, Swan. Now, where were we?”

“I think you were about to lift me in your arms so we could go upstairs,” she purred back, jumping in his arms.

Killian groaned as he held her, the interruption forgotten as he grabbed her ass and squeezed. Emma squealed before he resumed plundering her mouth while carrying her to their room so they could enjoy the rest of their activities.

“Fuck, Killian I...”

But she was cut off as Killian dropped her on the mattress. He climbed above her, like a predator, before kissing her breathless. His hand worked its way down the buttons on the blouse she wore and his mouth followed marking her skin as he slowly headed south. He took a moment to appreciate her breasts, kissing along the lace that concealed them from his sight before his hook ripped the fabric to shreds. His mouth teased one of her nipples while his hand took care of the other, making Emma moan and gasp under his touch, her back arching in response.

“Killian, I-” she panted, only making him pause, much to her displeasure. She moaned, opening her eyes to look down at his fucking smiling face.

“I know what you want, Swan,” he growled, his voice making her center ache for more. “But you’ve been a bad lass, and I’m not sure you deserve it.”

“ _Fuck_. Killian, please,” she begged.

The deep growl that echoed in his throat only made her more desperate for him. She panted in ecstasy and anticipation as he mercifully resumed his path. He drew her jeans and panties down her legs before moving toward her clit. She let her head fall deeper into her pillow as she heard him inhale deeply, his hot breath against her most intimate spot before she felt his fingers slowly teasing her.

“So wet,” he growled again, pushing two fingers inside before lowering his head to taste her. “So sweet.”

“Killian, I...”

She gasped as he started fucking her with his fingers while his mouth took care of the small ball of nerves. His scruff rubbed against her making her heart flutter as she rapidly approached the precipice of orgasm. Just as she could feel herself begin to fall, Killian froze, making her wait just on the edge.

“Fuck! Killian why-why did you?” she panted, nearly incoherent, arching her hips for the desperately needed friction, but the bastard pinned her down, stopping her from moving.

“I want to hear you beg me for your release, Swan,” he ordered darkly. As his command entered her consciousness, she was almost surprised that his voice wasn’t enough to make her topple.

“Killian, I, please. I need-”

“Say it, Swan. Say it and I’ll perform my duty.”

“Damn it, Jones,” Emma hissed, trying to form a fucking sentence so he could finish her, but her brain wasn’t cooperating. “I, I’m sorry for laughing at you earlier and I-” She gasped when she felt him tease her once more, her hip jumping against his face, his still fingers inside her reminding her that she wasn’t done. “I b-beg you, Killian! I need you to-fuck! Killian, I’m so close! Please!” She breathed out the rest of her prayer, her fingers grabbing the sheet while she waited for him to finally show her mercy. The only warning she got was a low chuckle, rumbling down his chest.

“As you wish.”

Her mind went blank as wave after wave of pure pleasure crashed over her. She cried his name as he guided her down, until her walls slowly relaxed around his fingers.

“So beautiful when you come, my Swan,” Killian purred. He pulled his fingers still coated with her release out of her, sucking them sinfully while she regained her breath.

She groaned against his lips as he leaned above her for a kiss, his lips still tasting of her release. She wanted to say something witty back to close his smart mouth, but she was out of words. Luckily, she knew how to pay him back. With a smirk of her own, she looked up at him, willing her now sore body to move so she could reverse their position and she would be the one on top. He moved easily. So easily she found herself wondering if he wasn’t already preparing something, making her believe she was in control. But when she looked back at him, it was to see him fighting to keep his eyes open.

“Wow! Don’t tell me you’re already tired, pirate?” Emma chuckled, teasing him.

“I, well I bloody am,” he whispered, shaking his head in confusion. “Swan, what-what did you put into that tea?”

“I, well, there was... just plants… herbs that should help you relax and sleep, but...” She stopped when she felt his body completely relax under her.

“Emma, I, bloody hell, Swan I don’t know what you put together, but I feel like I’ve been hit with sleeping powwwwderrrr.”

By the end of his sentence, a huge yawn broke from him before his eyes closed themselves for good. He mumbled something before he went quiet, his breath already evening out, leaving a stunned Emma to watch her sleeping pirate in silence. Resigned, she softly smiled down at him, using her magic to put them under the warm covers. She settled next to a now snoring Killian, her book in hand, making a mental note to herself to reduce the concentration of the herbs next time if she wanted to enjoy her pirate without having him fall asleep before she could repay anything.

~/~

When he opened his eyes, Killian was met with the bright sun landing just above his face. Frowning, he slowly turned himself to check the small clock, rubbing his eyes to make sure he was seeing clearly. It was one in the afternoon and the delicious smell of food being prepared was slowly filling the room. Pushing the covers aside, Killian looked around, noticing that Emma wasn’t next to him but had left a small note, letting him know where she was. He smiled at the caring gesture. As he dressed before joining her, Killian wondered how he overslept that much. As the rather enjoyable memories of the evening prior paraded themselves through his head, the picture of the mug of tea reappeared. _What was in that bloody tea?_ He knew that herbs and plants held some great medicinal properties, but to make him fall asleep like that? He was having a hard time believing that there was nothing extra in the tea. That she’d only brewed plants together. Damn it, he was still hard when the drowsiness hit. Killian groaned. This was bloody embarrassing. At least his body had managed to cool down without much problem or interference with his dreams. But that last fact only pushed him to think Emma had added something more. And while he couldn’t regret the beneficial effect her tea had, allowing him to sleep through the night and actually rest, he wouldn’t drink more of that stuff unless he knew exactly what she’d put in it.

Later that day, Emma entered the kitchen, ready to make Killian’s tea. She’d have to make sure to reduce some of the herbs in order to avoid a repeat of the night before. But Killian seemed to have beaten her, and was already looking through the different bags.

“Did watching Harry Potter give you a new interest in potion making?” she teased, smiling as he jumped a little when she clearly surprised him.

“I...well, I just wanted to see what was in that tea, you know,” Killian came to stand in front of her as she grabbed the lapel of his shirt. “after what happened last night. It would be a shame if next time we face the same issue.”

“Yeah, I... Sorry about that. I didn’t think it would affect you that much.” Emma let him kiss the crown of her head before nodding toward the bags. “So, wanna help me with those?”

“Aye, lead the way love.”

Killian smiled at Emma, watching her as she prepared everything on the counter. After surprising him when she caught him snooping in her bags, Killian had feared she would push him away, but she seemed genuinely happy with the help. _Maybe she really hadn’t added anything extra and simply miscalculated the quantity of the herbs_. He was almost ready to change his mind on whether he should drink her tea or not, but the whispers in the back of his mind held firmly to his first presentiment. As Emma grabbed his hand and began instructing him, Killian decided to keep to his plan and watch every move she made, looking carefully at each plant to be sure there was nothing used that would make him fall asleep so suddenly. Two hours later, Killian wiped away the sweat on his forehead, watching Emma put the last ingredient into the boiling water. He detected nothing strange, not a single magical move from Emma. There was nothing that would make him fall asleep against his will.

“Good! That was definitely easier with your help, babe! Thank you,” Emma exclaimed after putting the lid on the cooking pot. “All we need now is wait a few minutes for it to be ready!”

Killian smiled. “Sounds great, Swan. Why don’t you go take your shower, love, while I fix us some dinner and watch the tea?”

“Are you sure? I mean, you certainly know how to use a modern kitchen by now, but perhaps I could help-”

“It’s quite alright, Swan. I know my way around thanks to your parents. I promise you everything will be alright, love. Now go!”

He gently pushed her away, nodding at her when she stopped again at the bottom of the stairs before finally doing what he’d asked. Once he was sure he was alone, Killian sighed, closing his eyes for a moment. He didn't like it, but getting her out of the kitchen was the only way to make sure she wouldn’t touch the tea without him nearby. With a shake of his head, Killian started to go through several cupboards, gathering ingredients to prepare some vegetable soup his mother used to make. It wouldn’t be exactly the same, but it was something he’d be able to do on his own without too much problem.

Killian smiled as he heard music coming from upstairs, the sound of Emma’s voice following. He even surprised himself by humming the same tune as he added vegetables to the pot. The tea was done and Killian put it aside, pouring himself a small mug, ensuring that Emma wouldn’t touch it before he drank it later. Everything was fine until his ears started to pick up a strange noise. Stopping his humming, Killian turned his head, listening carefully to the sound but aside from Emma’s movement above, he didn’t hear anything. With a shrug, Killian went back to the cooking, adding a bit more water and kept carefully stirring the soup, making sure none of the vegetables stuck to the bottom of the pot. Not even five minutes later, the sound started again, this time louder. Killian stood still, his frown deepening as the noise- which had started out resembling the wind- became more of a whisper.

“ _Shhhhh...hhhaaa…_.”

Killian turned his head, looking at the end of the dark corridor where the sound seemed to be coming from.

“Who’s there?” he barked, frowning. He didn’t want to let whoever or whatever was speaking think he was afraid of it. Nothing answered him, the house quiet once more. “Bloody wind…” Killian grumbled, looking up as he heard Emma’s step. Before he could turn back to his preparations, the whisper was back again, this time loud enough for Killian to almost comprehend the lament of it.

_“Shhhhhh... hhhhaaa...dy ..ch...d th…. grrrrr..d..t ffffffshhhhh booooy....”_

“What in the-”

Killian cut himself off as the smell of smoke invaded his nose. He turned on his heels, cringinging as he saw smoke start coming out of the pot. Cursing loudly, he ran back to the stove, quickly reducing the fire and adding more water. By the look of it, he saved most of the dish but it would be a miracle for the soup to not have an additional smoky tang.

“Mmm,” Emma hummed, encircling Killian from behind, peeking over his shoulder to the now simmering pot. “That smells really good, what is it that you’ve prepared?”

“It was one of my mother’s recipes. But I’m afraid I’ve messed it up a bit.” Killian answered with a wince, cutting the gas before turning to hold her.

“I’m sure it’ll be more edible than what I can do. I’m not exactly a good cook…” Emma chuckled, wincing too at the memory of a carbonized plat she’d done in the past.

“You’re too hard on yourself, love. I’m sure you can cook delicious things. What we ate this morning was-”

“Only half cooked,” she exclaimed. “But thanks. How about I try to make something from scratch tomorrow? You’ll tell me if it’s delicious, and maybe you could help me with it…” she bit her lip, looking up at him mischievously.

“Aye, love.” Her belly grumbled, making him chuckle. “But it sounds like someone is rather hungry. How about we try that soup?”

“Sounds perfect to me. I’ll go set the table. Movie?”

“Whatever your heart desires, Swan.”

~/~

“I have to admit, Swan. That movie wasn’t as bad as the others.”

“You only said that because you’re the one who chose it!”

“What can I say? I have great taste.”

“Yeah, sure ‘ _Mister I’m good at everything I do_ ’.” That earned her a sneaky tickle attack. “Alright, alright. It was a good movie, Killian.” She looked at the time displayed on the small tablet she held, watching Killian who picked up his book he’d been reading earlier. “Aaaand looks like you’ve found a quite good book, too?”

“Aye. But I don’t think I’ll be able to do any reading tonight.” Killian smiled, closing the book. He didn’t particularly feel like sleeping right away, but his vision had started to get blurry around the edges, his eyes stinging the more he tried to focus on the lines.

“Is it, is it because of the tea? Are you going to suddenly pass out like yesterday?” she asked, concerned.

“No, it’s okay, love. But I can feel it. It’s time. Pushing myself would only result in, indeed, a repeat of last night.”

“Well, that’s a good thing, right? Means we’ve found the right amount.” Emma tried not to sound too excited, though she was happy they succeeded in finding just what was needed to help him relax so he could sleep soundly.

“A-aye,” a yawn escaped him. He might have said it wasn’t like last night, but something was making him very drowsy again. He quickly kissed her goodnight before turning off his lamp, his fingers going numb as his consciousness started to fade.

The tea might not be as powerful as it was last night but Killian knew deep down there was still something off about it. Discovering what that was, however, would have to wait until tomorrow. As he surrendered to the darkness, the same strange whisper echoed in his ears.


	10. Chapter IV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tension reach its peak between Killian and Emma. Will the two of them survive that new problem or will it break them for good?
> 
> Todays warnings: Panic attack and a Nasty Nightmare  
> Also, again some Smut :)

Killian walked out of the kitchen, two steaming mugs in his hand and a bag of cookies attached to his hook. Emma was sitting at the table, concentrating on her next move. She had agreed to play Scrabble with him, though he knew it wouldn't be much longer before she was seriously pissed off, either because of the game itself or his current score. He chuckled to himself as he thought about the plan he would soon enact. One that she would definitely like much better.

"Seriously, Killian. How can you manage to put words together that give you more than 50 points while all I can do is four or five letter words?" Emma groaned, dropping her head in her hands as she stared at the small letters in front of her in desperation.

"Well, I do have a few hundred years of experience with the letters." He chuckled, placing her mug in front of her, her attention suddenly captured by the cookies.

"Are those what I think they are?"

"Aye, love, your favorites." He winked at her, sipping his tea. She eyed him before carefully freeing the bag from his hook and taking one out, dipping it in her mug before eating it with a moan. “I have to say Swan, you’re far better at saying words than writing them.”

“Hey!” Emma complained, batting his hand away from the bag. “You’re dreaming if you think I’m letting you touch one of these with the ridiculously high score you have!” She then threw a few letters on the board, forming a three letter word before waving at him. “There. Give me the next letters.”

“Easy there, Swan. I’m sure you’ll have more luck with the new letters.” He secretly selected three particular white pieces before handing them over to her. He let her look at them, a knowing smirk forming in the corner of his lips. “So? Got something promising there?” he teased, emptying his mug before putting his own word down for his turn.

“Ohh, yeah. Yeah, I definitely have a nice three letter word for you.”

Killian watched her put the letters on her display, looking at them proudly before staring back at him. The flash of desire he’d caught in her green eyes was all he needed to see to know things would accelerate quickly. Clearing his throat, he finished his word, his eyes looking up at her, then raised his eyebrow just as mischievously.

“How about,” he slowly turned his own display, dragging the letters that couldn’t fit on it in front so Emma could read them, “ _that_.”

Emma frowned, her brain trying to understand what Killian was suddenly doing. _Why isn’t he placing them on the damn board?_ The sequence of letters finally dawned on her. She pushed herself up in her chair, getting closer to read it again. She blinked, making sure she read it correctly, her gaze snapping down at her own three letter word, and back at Killian’s display.

“Alright mister genius, something is missing here...unless...” Her brain worked fast, realizing her word wasn’t fitting anywhere inside his words.

“Look at the board, love.” Killian whispered darkly in her ear.

Emma stood up, turning her head until she could read the whole message Killian had ingeniously displayed all over the table. His message hadn’t registered while they’d been playing, but now, realisation hit her and a soft gasp escaped her lips. Before she could react in any other way, she felt Killian’s strong arms lift her from the floor, making her squeal as he hauled her over his shoulder while she felt him laugh as he began to climb the stairs.

It was just like the other night except, this time, Killian was already working on taking off her clothes as he reached the first landing, setting her on the side table to finish undressing her, all while kissing her fervently.

“God, Killian! Wha, what are you-” she gasped, between kisses.

“Oh no, love, you know exactly what I’m doing.” He stopped a moment to look at her, the blue of his eyes already dark with desire. “You didn’t quite finish the job last time,” he growled before kissing her hard again, Emma’s hand pushing his shirt off his shoulders. “And I’m bloody going to make you come again, and again, and again, you minx.”

His hot breath set her skin ablaze as his hand and hook played with the black lace set she wore. He didn’t know if she wore them on purpose, but it did little to keep his own needs contained so he could take care of her like he’d planned to. She asked him to move on a breath, her voice making him shiver before he lifted her off the table and completed the journey to their bed. He quickly took off his denims while she made herself comfortable on the mattress, before climbing up on the bed to take care of his Swan. It wasn’t a surprise to find her already wet for him, nipples hard, her back arching, hips rolling against his in search of friction, moans and whimpers escaping her flushed and swollen lips with each move from his hand and body against her. Just as promised, he made her come, twice, using only his tongue and fingers, her hands holding his head in place, her fingers locked in his hair as she writhed beneath him. She held him in place as he took the time to inhale her scent, feeling himself get even harder, his hand clenching the sheet next to him as he tried to anchor himself, willing his body to hold on just a bit more.

“Killian. Killian I,” Emma gasped, finally relaxing her hands as she came down from her high for the second time, letting go of his head only to pull him back up to her face to look at him. “Killian I, I want you to make me come again,” she choked out, his fingers already teasing her, her walls clenching.

“So much to give tonight, my love.” Killian whispered, positioning himself better to work her body. He was stopped by her hands on his chest, curling around his necklace as she pulled him down until his forehead rested against hers.

“Yes, but I,” she had to swallow, calming her breaths. “I want you inside me, Killian.” Her eyes met his as he froze in place, his brain not believing what his ears were hearing.

“Swan? What,” he wet his lips before swallowing at his turn. “Are you sure? Is this really what you want?”

“Yes,” she answered, her right hand sliding down his chest, slipping inside his too tight boxers before grabbing his length, a hiss escaping his mouth as she held him close. “I want this. I want you.” She released her grip, using her magic to get rid of the garment, locking her gaze back on his face. “I _need_ you. I want to _feel_ you inside me.” Her hips rocked against his aching member punctuating her sentence. “I want _you_ to come _with_ me.”

Killian’s eyes closed as she played with him, his groin aching painfully with each delicate touch of her fingers. He couldn’t believe he, _they,_ were here. Up until now, this had only occured in his dreams. It left him panting, eager for more, as he felt her move under him. He clenched his jaw, trying to hold back his whimpers as he felt her teeth gently nibble the lobe of his ear.

“I beg you. Just get inside me, babe.” Her voice was only a murmur by the end of her sentence.

“As you wish.”

As the three words left his mouth, Emma grabbed him and positioned him at her entrance before he slowly pushed inside, her still wet core gripping him deliciously.

“F-fuck, Killian. You’re so-” she gasped as he finally entered her completely. He stilled for a moment, amazed at how he fit inside her just right, as if they had been made for each other.

“Y-you’re alright, love?” Killian panted, his fingers combing through her hair before placing a few strands away from her face, her skin glimmering with a thin coat of sweat.

“Yes... You’re... It’s, it’s perfect Killian,” she stammered.

She took his face between her hands, kissing him deeply, showing him just how good it was. Each slow move made them both moan, Killian’s hips jumping involuntary, his body reminding him of how close he was. Pushing himself off of her slightly, Killian rested his forehead on hers, his brows pinched as he breathed hard.

“Emma, I, I’m. I don’t think I can...” he trailed off.

“It’s okay. Just let me.” She reached down, one of her hands sliding between them until she reached her clit, giving herself a boost so they could come together. “Just wait for me, Killian.”

He nodded against her head, thrusting slowly until they found their pace, his breath hitching each time their hips met, making it hard for him to hold on.

“Emma, love, p-please tell me y-you’re almost-”

“Yeah. Hold on just- I, Killian, n-now!”

Killian felt the moment her walls clenched around him. He closed his eyes tightly as he gave a few more strokes before falling over the edge with her, his hips jerking as he filled her with his release, her name murmured against her skin like a prayer. Her fingers dug painfully into his back. He was sure it would leave a mark, so he made sure his kiss on her neck would too. Their bodies gradually calmed down, the sound of their labored breath filling his ears as he felt her hold tightly to him, his own hand anchoring itself in her hair.

His muscles were beginning to tremble from holding himself up before he finally rolled off her, completely sated, his body coated with sweat. His sore muscles nearly sang at the respite given by lying on the soft mattress. Forcing his eyes open, Killian turned his head so he could watch his Swan. Even wrecked, she looked absolutely beautiful, perhaps even more so, her milky skin glimmering under the warm glow of the bed lamps, her messy golden hair spread all around her face like a halo. Her eyes closed, lips parted as she caught her breath, her chest slowly rising up and then down. Killian smiled, drinking in her sigh, his fingers tracing the contours of her body from her thighs to her face, barely touching her skin. As his fingers ghosted over her gorgeous lips, she opened her eyes, the emerald green even more vibrant as she turned her head toward him, smiling against his hand before she placed a gentle kiss on it, holding it against her chest, above her heart.

“That was,” Killian began, trailing off as he couldn’t stop from admiring her.

“I know,” she answered with a grin.

“That’s my line here, Swan.”

He pushed himself up on his elbow, looking at her with a raised eyebrow as she giggled. She tugged on his hand until he fell back on her, looking in his eyes before her attention lowered to his lips. He moaned as he captured her lips with his own, his hand freeing itself so he could cup her face and deepen the kiss. When the kiss broke, they rested their foreheads against each other. He felt Emma play with the charms of his necklace while he simply bathed in her solid presence beneath him.

“Did you rig the game?” she asked suddenly. “I mean, so you could write that dirty message of yours?”

“Pirate, love,” he chuckled back.

“Wait, is this why I had crappy letters each time?!” She gasped when he didn’t answer right away. “You cheated! I can’t believe it!”

“Now, now, Swan. It would be bad form to give away the ruse. All I can say is that, I did what I had to in order to surprise you.”

“Mmmh. One I definitely enjoyed,” Emma murmured. “And I’m quite happy the tea didn’t cause any interruption this time.”

“Aye, Swan.”

Killian forced a smile at the mention of the bloody tea. He’d thought they’d be able to avoid talking about it, but it seemed like Emma was going to make sure that he took the blasted thing. That more than anything made it obvious to him that she must have added something to the mix to make it somniferous. Now that he was certain of his facts, he knew he was going to have to talk to her about it. So focused was he on his thoughts, Killian only saw at the last minute what Emma was about to do. Grabbing her wrist before she could use her magic, he looked at her.

“Swan, wait. There’s no need to use your magic for-” but he was cut in the middle of his comments by her lips. He groaned in protest.

“Just calm down, pirate. I was just going to clean us up. It’s really nothing!” she protested, though rolling her eyes a little when he groaned again. “But if you insist, I won’t use magic.” She got up, slapping his butt cheek before going to grab a wet tissue to clean them up with.

As soon as she was done, Killian took the tissue from her hands, throwing it above his shoulder before he trapped her against his chest as he turned them so they would be comfortable, kissing her neck one last time before turning out the lights, whispering a good night in her ear. It didn’t take long for him to drift off, a peaceful smile on his lips with his happy Swan in his arms.

* * *

One moment he was enveloped in the warmth of their bed, inhaling the scent of Emma’s shampoo, the next he was freezing cold. With a deep moan, Killian tried to move, pushing back the beginnings of paralysis in his members. Even opening his eyes was a struggle. Once his vision cleared, Killian looked around him. He was still in their bed, the room bathed in the cold light of the moon. While he was trying to understand what was going on, Killian quickly sat up, taking a good look at his surroundings. Everything around him felt cold, devoid of life. The thought made him shiver and he automatically rubbed his arms as he noticed something else. He was once more alone in the bedroom. His throat started to squeeze shut at the realisation. Killian held his breath, wondering if this was a bloody dream or if he was truly awake.

The sound of footsteps inside the bathroom made him jump, his heartbeat doubled until he realized it must have been Emma. It wasn’t until he heard her humming that he willed his body to relax, taking a deep breath before settling back under the covers. It was just his mind playing with him then. But that made it clear that taking the cursed tea to _help with his dreams_ had been a terrible idea. Shaking his head, Killian focused on the sound of Emma’s presence in the other room before he closed his eyes and worked on falling back asleep.

His consciousness had almost faded out again when Emma’s voice came to a sudden stop. Killian frowned, waiting for the flushing sound to follow but it never came. Snapping his eyes open, Killian inhaled deeply, the gloom of the room entering his consciousness. A strong shiver shook his whole frame before he hesitantly pushed back the covers, looking for the reason for the change of ambiance. If this wasn’t a dream, he would certainly find a concrete reason for it. But the only thing Killian felt was the thick air in the room was rapidly making him feel uncomfortable, almost pressing against his skin, his shallow breathing loud in his ears. Deciding to try and find the answer to the situation, Killian stood up, looking in the direction of the bedroom door.

“Emma?”

His voice echoed inside the room, then the house, every tiny noise seemingly amplified. Wetting his lips, he tried again, louder.

“Swan?”

Still nothing. Anguish bloomed inside his chest, making him feel dizzy. He stumbled toward the door, the need to get out of the closed space eating at him. He had to get out, _now_. Opening the door felt like taking a deep breath, but it only made his panic grow. Killian’s vision spun, his hand grabbing the frame of the door in hopes of steadying himself, despite the fact that nothing was truly moving. Sweat broke out on Killian’s forehead as he shook his head, trying to clear the randomly bouncing thoughts inside his skull.

“Emma, Emma, Emma...” he mumbled in a low voice, his heart slamming inside his chest as he became even more desperate to find the only person that could restore his sanity. “Emma? EMMA?” He had to force her name through his narrow throat, finally allowing him to scream it in the haunted vision of their house. The echo of his voice was the only thing that answered him.

Killian staggered for a moment, still staring at the hallway in front of him, halfway expecting something to happen. Though nothing changed. He was still alone in a house that only looked like theirs, with a head that kept spinning the more he tried to breathe in the heavy air. Cursing, Killian finally let go of the door frame, flexing his hand after realizing the joints had turned white from the constant pressure of his grip on the frame.

“Bloody hell. What’s going on?” He moaned, shuffling backward, away from the door that felt like it would swallow him whole.

Killian kept his gaze locked on the end of the corridor, hoping to ease the nausea by fixing his sight on a solid point. It worked for a few moments, allowing him to calm down and begin to get his thoughts in order. But before he could, something sliced the palm of his hand, making him hiss loudly as he pressed his hand against his middle.

“What the hell was-”

Killian stopped in the middle of his sentence, staring at the bleeding palms of his hands. Hands, he had two bloody _hands_. All his efforts to bring his breathing under control were destroyed as the reappearance of the cursed hand sent him back into a panic state.

“No, no, no! This _can’t_ be! It bloody can’t!” Killian cried, shaking his hands in hopes of stopping the illusion.

 _It has to be an illusion!_ his mind screamed. But the left hand remained attached to his arm, leaving Killian to swallow heavily as he tried to calm his breathing. Thankfully, the stinging pain was already fading, so he only had to deal with the renewed anguish.

“Alright, Jones, this is just a trick. Nothing is real. You just need to find Emma and everything will be fine,” he scolded himself, wrapping his arms around his chest so he could focus on his surroundings and not his hands.

Wiping away the excess sweat from his face with his shirt -he almost brought his hand up to wipe his skin but stopped himself just before he spread the fresh blood all over his face- Killian forced his lungs to take a deep breath, holding it as his eyes sought a way out of his chilling surroundings. There had to be one, he thought, but he saw nothing now that the only exit from the room resembled a black hole. He was trapped in the room. The more he thought about it, the heavier the air around him became until he subconsciously stepped back into a corner before the air crushed him to ashes. As his back hit the wall, a crash reverberated through the room, catching his attention. Not even bothering to ask who could be there, Killian sprinted to the bathroom, his heartbeat accelerating knowing there’d been movement nearby. He barreled inside the empty room, his eyes quickly scanning the space for what had caused the sound. His hand searched for the light switch, the lights above the full length mirror crackling to life. Killian’s gaze landed on several shining objects on the floor. But they were just screws from one of the pieces of wall furniture. The fact that such random objects had triggered him made Killian groan as his mind turned back to looking for Emma and a way out of this hell.

As soon as he straightened back up from picking up the screws, Killian’s eyes met his reflection in the mirror, his hand going slack. The screws fell on the floor, the clinking sounds a suitable soundtrack as Killian stared in shock at the mirror. There was no dashing pirate facing him, no _human_ staring back at his horrified gaze. Only a huge mass of dark fur with two glowing blue eyes looking back at him. Killian stood still, waiting for the reflection to ripple and change but as the minutes slowly passed, the damn wolf didn’t disappear.

“What is this bloody trickery?” Killian growled at the mirror, watching as it copied his movements.

It felt as if he’d been thrown right back into the past, forced to stare at his cursed form, one that had caused him so much pain and trouble. Killian’s panic melted away to be replaced by fresh anger. He didn’t understand what was really going on here, but the view of the cursed wolf was making his blood boil. As he came a bit closer from the glass, Killian noticed how the glowing irises were starting to turn red, chilling him to the bone. _This couldn’t be happening_. It’s only when he lifted his hand to touch the surface of the mirror, the wolf making the exact same movement, that his brain understood the wolf eyes had changed because of his anger. Halting his action, Killian closed his eyes, taking a deep breath through his nose as he focused on emptying his mind. Since the minute he opened his eyes, this place had made him feel like he was losing control. He wouldn’t be fooled any longer, he wouldn’t give way to rash emotion again. When his eyelids opened, his reflection was back to normal, a warm feeling enveloping his body as he looked at himself, feeling proud to have succeeded in turning the situation around. _Maybe now I could find a way out of here_ , he thought. But he should have known it was too good to be true. The next second, Emma’s scared voice echoed in the room, sending Killian into a frenzy.

“ _Swan!!_ ” he screamed, hurling himself toward their bedroom only to find himself stuck inside the door frame. “ _What the hell? Why can’t I-_ ”

As he cursed, his eyes fell on his torso, his eyes widening at the view of the dark fur. It took him another couple of seconds to understand that his whole appearance had changed, his human frame replaced by the imposing werewolf body. The sounds coming out of his mouth were no longer words as he kept cursing in panic, while Emma was still calling for him. Having no other option but to break the wall around him to free himself from the door frame, Killian roared, using his colossal strength before he ran outside the room, following the sound of Emma’s voice. The trip to reach the main hall was done in a blink of an eye as he made a mighty leap down the stairs, missing them all, landing on the ground floor. Slowing down his breathing, Killian’s vision adjusted to the dark while his ears twitched in hope of catching any sound indicating Emma’s presence, his snout in the air tracking her scent. He called her name, not thinking about the fact she would hear nothing but a pitched whine. For a long minute, all Killian could hear was his heart pounding wildly. His paws flexed on the wooden floor as he shuffled around in a circle. Then he heard a labored breath, calling his name.

“ _Swan?_ ” His head turned toward the sofa, his piercing gaze finally locating her. “ _Swan, hold on!_ ”

He ran to her side, gasping as he saw her laying on the floor, shivering from cold. Acting on instinct he lifted her body, holding her against his warm fur as gently as he could, terrified of crushing her with his monstrous arms.

“Killian? Killian, where are you?” Her eyes were searching but not landing on him, as if she couldn’t see him.

“ _Swan, it’s me. I’m, I’m right here, love,_ ” he replied, realizing she might not understand it was him. “ _I don’t know what triggered the change, but it’s really me, Emma!_ ”

Though his words were perfectly clear to his own ears, underneath them, all that had actually left his maw were a mix of growls and whines. But somehow Emma focused on his eyes.

“Killian, why? Why couldn’t you?”

“ _Emma? What are you saying? Love, I, I don’t understand!_ ” Killian answered in panic.

“Why didn’t you save me?”

Suddenly, a strong coppery smell invaded his senses, his eyes jumping to the burgundy smear rapidly spreading on Emma’s white shirt. His right clawed hand came to inspect the wound, his brain noticing how small her body was compared to his.

“ _No, no, Swan, I saved you! You’re- we’re, we’re saved! We-_ ” As he looked back at her face, Killian stopped on her closed eyes as what little life was left in her body disappeared. “ _Em-Emma_?” His voice broke.

“Why did you kill me?” Her voice echoed all around him while he held her lifeless body in his arms.

“ _Swan? Love?_ ” He paused, disbelieving, her body turning cold against him. Not _wanting_ to believe it. “ _Emma! Emma, no. Please, love. Say something!_ ”

But her voice had disappeared, leaving him alone holding her dead body close to his heart. He stood frozen, the wind howling inside the empty house. _She’s gone_! The words ran through his brain on repeat and it’s only when he felt something wetting his fur that Killian realized he was crying. From that moment his world seemed to fall apart, his heart crumbling inside him as his body began to shake. Slowly, his arms wrapped around her body and hugged her against his chest, slowly drawing her into the thick dark fur. He held her tight against him until she had completely disappeared into the dark mass, until all he was left hugging was his wailing self.

Deep down, the voice was still there telling him none of this was real but the pain inside him was too great for Killian to listen to reason. He was too broken to do anything but cry over his fate, one where he’d killed another person he loved.

“Now, now, hush. Calm down, my love.”

Killian’s eyes snapped open at the sound of her voice, spinning around to face her. But instead of his beloved Emma, he received yet another blow as he faced the Dark Swan.

“You know the pain won’t fade like that,” she taunted, coming closer to his face. “Remember, my dearest, there’s only one path for you to take to keep you from hurting.”

Killian jerked backward, snarling at her. She only laughed at him before she sauntered back to the sofa, crossed her legs and waited for him. Yet all he wanted to was to tear the bloody demon apart. _Emma’s dead_ , he repeated to himself with disgust. She was gone and this was only a vision of the bloody Dark One. Looking down for something, anything, to throw at the vision, Killian was stunned to see himself back in human clothes, in a human body.

“So, Jones. Who will it be today?” the Dark Swan purred, catching his attention as she opened the window to the garden. “Which member of the family should we end next?”

Killian gasped as he came to see what the hell the Dark One was talking about. The lawn was covered with dead bodies.

“No…” Killian stumbled backward until he tripped over the coffee table, landing hard on his back, “No, this can’t be! This is insane!” As he kept moving away from the windows where the Dark Swan was watching him with an amused smile, his right hand hooked on the leg of the coffee table, his gaze dropping to it with a frown. Held tightly in his hand was the Dark One dagger, its blade coated with fresh blood, and his name indisputably carved on it. Suddenly his clothes were changed, dark leather coat weighing on his shoulders while his legs were trapped within tight leather pants. Letting go of the dagger as if it had burned him, Killian tried to stand up, falling back on his ass right away while the Dark Swan slowly walked closer, her laugh echoing through the room until it was all Killian could hear. Tears streamed down his face as he felt himself being crushed beneath her mirth, his pleading snuffed out by the Dark One’s laugh.

Killian surged up in the bed, eyes like saucers, his breath erratic as his whole body began to tremble in the aftermath of the nightmare.

~/~

Emma made sure that Killian was deeply asleep before she got out of the bed and took a trip downstairs. It wasn’t really necessary since he had slept uninterrrupted through the night since he’d started drinking the tea, yet she didn’t wish to cause him any panic if he was to wake up alone. She knew the Dark One curse was getting stronger again since sleep was so elusive. She generally tried to keep herself busy at night in order to move time along a little faster, but since they needed to wait for Merlin to be able to put an end to this, she wondered if the tea would have the same effect on her.

The idea of making a tea had come up at the last minute when Killian had first refused her magical help, a reaction she should have anticipated. If it was working on him that well, then maybe it would help her too. That was why she was heading for the kitchen in the middle of the night, trying to be as quiet as possible, one ear still listening for any sound coming from above. Once she was inside the kitchen, Emma quickly picked up one of her mugs, a white one with a cute duckling on it. She then put the teapot back on the stove, waiting for the tea to warm up again. Soon it was ready and she filled her mug, taking a deep breath of the sweet aroma. But as soon as she took a sip of it, the lines on her forehead deepened as she frowned. She didn’t remember putting mint in the concoction.

Opening her eyes, she looked at the liquid. She remembered clearly the intense reddish brown color of the tea she had first made. This one was barely tinting her mug. And now that she focused on the taste and smell, she knew it wasn’t right. Looking back at the teapot, she frowned again. If this wasn’t the real tea she’d prepared, then where did Killian put it? Emma searched the kitchen, sniffing from time to time. It wasn’t until she walked by the trash bin that she thought she caught a familiar smell. Opening the lid, she took a short sniff of the garbage, grimacing at the unpleasant smells. But one thing was sure after she took a second breath, the real tea had been emptied in the trash. Which meant Killian hadn’t taken it. The dots connected themselves in her brain, the use of a black mug making even more sense now.

“What are you playing at, Killian?” Emma whispered, looking toward the staircase.

Then the most haunting noise echoed in the whole house, a scream that chilled her to the bone. Her eyes snapped to the ceiling where their chamber was. His name slipped past her lips as she ran upstairs. Her ceramic mug shattered on the floor behind her as she hurried to climb the steps. Arriving at their room, her hand reached for the smaller switch, turning on the two bed lamps instead of the overhead light, so she could easily see without dazzling Killian.

The intensity of the light didn’t matter as she found him sitting in the middle of the bed, rocking himself with his head hidden beneath his arms. She then noticed the chaotic state of the bed with the pillows on the floor, the sheets torn from their anchor and heaped at the bottom of the bed while the warm blankets were dangling off the mattress. The whole lot suggesting that Killian had had a nightmare, probably the strongest yet.

“Gods, Killian, what did you do?” Emma pleaded quietly. She realized his behavior was because he hadn’t taken the tea and she hadn’t been here to stop the dream before it sent him over the edge.

Though she was starting to be angry with him as they could have avoided all this if he had simply taken the tea and she had stayed in bed, her worries for his current state were overriding the anger. She gently called his name but he barely reacted to her voice. Cursing, she slowly climbed on the mattress, her hands carefully coming closer to him while she kept saying his name hoping to avoid surprising him with her presence or touch. What she didn't expect to feel was a shock like lightning the moment she came in contact with his skin, her body ejected from the bed as she fell on her ass to the floor. Shaking her head, Emma looked down at her hand for any mark. When she found none, and the white noise it had produced in her ears faded, she looked up. Killian’s head finally lifted out of his arms, his glassy blue eyes staring back at her in shock.

“Killian?” She looked at him, waiting for him to acknowledge her, but he remained quiet. Anger at his reckless choice suddenly rose within her. “Why? Why did you do this?” she demanded.

Killian’s face morphed into pure anguish, tears starting to pour down his already wet cheeks. And just like that he was closing in on himself again, his whole body shaken by his broken sobs.

He had thought that nothing was real, that he had truly woken up and it had only been a hell of a nightmare. But then he found himself alone in the cold bed, the house too quiet. Suddenly she was before him, falling to the floor as if she had been hit by something. He had stared at her, his eyes barely registering that she was in front of him. ‘ _Killian why?’_ It was the same thing she’d said before he had to watch her die in his arms. It was the same reproachful tone, and it was enough to shatter his hopes. _It wasn’t a dream was it?_ he thought. Soon she would be taken away from him and he’d be on his own again.

“Damn it, Killian... I, it’s not what I meant.” She knew she shouldn't have started the discussion like that, but she couldn’t see why he would close in on himself that much. Emma quickly got up, coming back to sit next to Killian. “Kilian, please! Look at me! Jones, just-Ow!”

Her hands jerked away from him. She had only wanted to look at his face, but the moment she touched him she had been like, electrocuted. At least her cry had drawn his attention back to her as she shook away the pain, his intense gaze suddenly becoming heavy on her. She stared back at him.

_‘If you look at me any harder, you’re gonna drill a hole in my head.’_

It was something she had said to him in the past, from the time she had almost lost him because of Gold. He had been about to lose her and she had been too preoccupied by Elsa and Anna to see that something was going on with him too. And right now, he was looking at her the same way. _Could he be in the same position?_ she finally asked herself.

“Killian? Killian, what’s going on? Is, is everything okay?” she asked, fearfully, her hands resuming their grip on his arms.

But again, as soon as she touched him, the current raced up her arms, pins and needles spreading throughout her body before she had to let go, the pain too intense. This time she tried to bite back her cries, but a whimper still escaped her lips, the sound reaching Killian’s ears.

He realized he was hurting her, the thought sending him deeper into the panic that was already consuming him. Freaking out, he finally forced his sore muscles and locked joints to move so he could put some distance between them. He didn’t know what was going on, what had hurt her. But it was clear to him that he was the cause of it. What if he ended up killing her? Killian tried to swallow but that last thought undid him completely, sending him into a frenzy, his vision going dark.

He was trapped inside his own darkness, his pained sobs the only thing keeping him company as image after image of Emma flashed around him, some from the present, others from his dreams. But in all of them she wore the same pained expression. He was the cause of all of her pain, the flashes feeding his guilt, tormenting him until two lonely tears fell from his eyes. He knew he was truly lost this time, there was no surviving this.

 _“Come back to me!_ ” a voice screamed inside his head.

The sound disappeared into the nothing surrounding him as he remained trapped in his own mind.

_“Killian, I beg you! You have to come back!”_

Finally his brain seemed to slow down, his thoughts settling, allowing him brief moments of lucidity in between all the panic that was still swirling around.

_“I love you, Killian. Come back to me.”_

_Emma!_ He screamed as he turned toward the finally recognized voice. She was still alive. Just as he accepted the possibility, her face appeared in the darkness in front of him, like her image was a movie playing on a screen.

“Swan?” he asked, his voice barely audible as he kept looking at her.

She was speaking to him, her lips moving, but he couldn’t hear a single sound. Killian watched her move toward him, her hands grabbing his shoulder to shake him awake but her touch had no effect. He couldn’t even feel her fingers on his skin.

“Love, what are you saying?” he asked, wincing as she once again jerked away as if she was being hit by something invisible. Concentrating on her lips, he tried to understand what she was desperately saying.

‘ _Come back’, ‘You’re alright’, ‘breath’, ‘deep’,_ was it _‘take_ ’ ? Killian tilted his head, trying to make sense of everything as he felt the anguish and panic coming back.

_‘You must calm down, babe.’_

The terror rushed back, like waves crashing around him, dragging him to the bottom, the panic swallowing him again. But this time Killian held on to her voice, forcing himself to repeat her words like a mantra. Forcing himself to fight back the exhaustion and try to calm down following her guidance.

“That’s it, Killian. Keep breathing slowly. You’re doing great, babe,” Emma whispered, her eyes never leaving him.

She had been so scared. From the moment she saw him move away and mentally shut down until he had finally blinked and his breathing changed. After that he had closed his eyes and started doing what she had been repeating to him for what felt like hours. His body had slowly relaxed, his shoulders dropping as he took a deep breath.

“You’re safe, Killian. It’s over now.” She smiled at him, her heart ceasing its hammering inside her chest.

Carefully, she drew her hand closer to his face, her fingers twitching as she stopped about an inch away. If her guess was correct, now that he had calmed down she should be able to touch him without getting struck. Inhaling, she let her hand cradle his face, a smile spreading on her lips when she didn’t feel any prickling sensation down her arm. She brought up the other hand, her thumbs stroking his cheek lovingly. His eyes fluttered open, the emotions swirling inside the blue orbs taking her breath away for a moment. But she quickly put a smile back on her face.

“Welcome back, Captain,” she teased him gently, waiting for his reaction. He blinked several times, turning his head slightly to look around before focusing on her eyes again.

“E-Emma,” his hoarse voice barely managing to say her name.

“Hey. You’re okay, Killian. It’s over. I promise.”

She watched him stare at her for another couple of minutes, her fingers caressing his face from time to time. Without opening his mouth, Killian carefully took one of her hands in his, closing his eyes as he brought it close to his mouth, his hot breath brushing along her knuckles as he lay a kiss on her skin before he slowly adjusted his posture to lay on his side, his head on her lap. Though his movements were a bit awkward, Emma let him settle himself at his own pace, his head close to her middle as he began to trace patterns on the palm of her hand. Her other hand gently cradled his head, massaging his scalp as she could swear she was feeling exactly how he was pondering what had happened.

Her presence seemed enough for now to comfort him but she longed for the moment he would feel safe enough to open up to her. Bathed in the quiet room, Emma closed her eyes, her hand still moving while she waited. His panic and fear had worn her out and if not for her curse she would have surely fallen asleep. But the movement of Killian’s fingers stopped, and soon she began to feel him tremble, the fabric of her shorts becoming wet. She looked down at his face while his eyes remained focused on her open hand. His teeth bit down on his lower lip as he tried to hold in his sobs.

“Shhh, it’s alright, Killian. I’m here. You’re going to be okay.” But Killian shook his head, a sob escaping his lips. Emma took a deep breath, resting her hands on his head and shoulder. “You wanna talk about it?” Another shake of his head. “Okay. It’s okay, Killian. I’m here if you want to, alright?”

This time his head remained still on her lap and Emma bent over until she could lay a kiss on his head. Then she went back to her previous ministrations, holding him close to her as he quietly finished purging his fear and despair. She looked at the clock. It had been almost two hours now since she had found him awake. Two long hours and she had barely heard him say anything. Her breath hitched as she held her face up, willing the tears back. She needed to be strong for him. He had always been her rock and now he needed her to be his anchor too. Clearing her throat, she shook her head and focused back on being there for him.

Killian’s voice broke the heavy silence. Though Emma had to bend again to be close enough to hear him. He didn’t say much, most of his sentence fading into a whisper making it difficult for her to understand him. But half an hour later, he had stopped shivering and she knew the main story of what he had seen, what he had believed to be true. The truth was that it made her heart break at what he’d been forced to experience all on his own. Emma realized how lonely he had been since she had disappeared from their life, his life. The support of her family, her parents, her boy, were barely enough to save him from his own demons. She closed her eyes, allowing a tear to slide down her cheek before she moved so she was facing him, her hands cradling his face.

“Thank you,” Emma simply said, smiling before she came to kiss him.

“What for, love?” he whispered, breaking the connection, a frown plastered on his face.

“For letting me know, Killian. And I’m so, so, so sorry for what you had to brave on your own.” His eyes widened but she put a finger to his lips before he could respond. “No, I don’t want you to apologise for anything. I should be the one to apologize for the terrible mistake I made in Camelot. I shouldn’t have let you down. If I hadn’t listened to the damn voices, if I had opened myself to you instead, we would have never ended up here. You would have never been cursed and you wouldn’t have to suffer all these fucking nightmares.” She paused a moment, catching her breath as her heart still pounded in her chest. “So yeah. Thank you for sharing this with me, Killian. And I promise you we will find a solution to these dreams and the Dark One curse. Together, as a team.”

“A team.” Killian looked at her, his eyebrow rising. “That’s what we are now, Swan?”

“Yeah. That’s what we are, pirate.” She answered with a chuckle, a soft blush covering her cheeks as she realized what she meant was ‘couple’. It was another big step she was ready to take.

“Sounds good to me, love.” He chuckled back.

“I, I may have an explanation for what happened earlier, Killian,” Emma announced.

“You do?” His eyes searched hers for the answer. “I, what happened then?”

“Killian, I...” She stopped, unsure how to explain her theory, unsure of how he would react. Killian tilted his head, encouraging her to continue. Right, they were in this together, she couldn’t get cold feet now. “I might know why I couldn’t touch you. It’s...it could be coming from you. But Killian, if it’s true, it won’t be your fault, okay?”

“Swan, if it’s because of me that you kept getting hurt, then how can you say it’s _not_ because of me?”

“Well, it could be because of me in the first place, or at least because of what I did…”

“Emma? Love, what did you do exactly?” A sense of dread came over Killian. He had a feeling the answer wouldn’t be pleasant. Could it be because of the tea? Was his supposition true? Or was it another entirely new secret?

“Umh, we, well,” she stammered, “we need to go see Regina.” Emma felt like she would be the only person who could help her test her theory. Because if it was true, Killian might not trust her anymore if she was the one to break the news.

“Regina? What the?” Killian pushed himself up, looking at the clock on the nightstand. “Bloody hell, Swan! It’s not even six! Why on earth would you want to go see Regina?”

“We will need some objects that I don’t possess,” she lied. Though it wasn’t that much of a lie, she wasn’t sure herself how to proceed. “Plus, she’s neutral. It’s what’s best.” Killian’s pregnant pause made her belly twist, afraid he wouldn’t agree to the plan.

“Fine,” Killian sighed. “But Swan, you better not complain if this early visit ends in disaster.”

“Don’t worry. It’ll be fine.”

~/~

It was just past six when Emma and Killian appeared in a cloud of smoke at Regina’s door. Emma checked on Killian for the umpteenth time. Though he held his face up, his hand hadn’t stopped trembling since they’d gotten out of the bed. _I’m sure he’s still in shock,_ Emma thought, waiting for Killian to nod at her before knocking a bit forcefully, until a very grumpy Regina opened the door. But thankfully, it only took Emma a few convincing arguments to cue the queen into understanding the urgency of the situation.

Though ‘fine’ was definitely not the adjective Killian would have picked when Regina finally announced the result of the test. Just as Emma had theorised, he had magic. Regina confirmed it was probably due to them sharing a heart, since Emma wasn’t as free from the curse like they had thought. But his magic seemed only to react to strong emotions, the nightmare being a perfect example of the manifestation of his magical abilities. However, Regina couldn’t say any more about the effects of sharing Emma’s heart while she was still cursed. Once they left the mayor’s house, Killian looked down at himself. He had magic, potentially more and none of them knew how it would manifest. He didn’t know if he was shocked, panicked, or even more lost after hearing the news.

Emma had watched Killian carefully during the whole meeting, especially as Regina confirmed what she had thought. But no matter how hard she tried to read him, she was at a loss. And maybe it was because he was lost himself. She had thought he would have panicked or become angry. But he had simply not reacted to the news. Feeling like she should let him decide what to do now, she stopped when they reached the front gate, gently squeezing his hand.

“You want to go home on foot or should I just, ‘poof’ us back?” she asked, trying to lighten the mood a bit.

But Killian simply freed his hand, flexing it a few times before he nodded toward the street and started walking to their house. _By foot it is then_. The rest of the walk remained quiet, Killian walking in front of her. Not too fast for her to be outdistanced, but he still made it clear he didn’t wish to speak to her or even be in her company at the moment. What truly troubled Emma however, was that his detachment didn’t stop once they arrived home. His entire demeanor, strange to her eyes, continued even as she tried her best to get him to come back to her. For the rest of the day, Killian barely spoke to her, and actively avoided her. She watched him as he slowly closed in on himself, when they just said they were a team this morning. She saw the way his eyes shone with happiness when she said it. But now, his gaze was plunged into the void when he wasn’t checking behind him. It was as if he was constantly looking for his shadow. By the end of the day, Emma was convinced that Killian thought he had been followed by a real person. But no one was inside their house. It was just the two of them.

* * *

The following night, try as he might, Killian hadn’t been able to close his eyes for more than twenty minutes at a time. And it wasn’t because of the nightmares haunting him or the damn tea. Emma hadn’t even suggested that he take it, and he was glad she hadn’t. No, he couldn’t sleep because of the damn whispers. He had heard them all day, though it had just been a faint sound, from the moment they came back home after seeing Regina. But he had found no one. And now, while he was faking sleeping peacefully next to Emma -who was faking it too, he was sure of it- the damn whispers were back echoing inside his skull. As soon as he’d close his eyes, the voices would slowly fill his ears and then increase in intensity until it was the only thing he could think about. Each time his eyes snapped open, his jaws clenching as he willed the sound away, waiting until he calmed enough to try and sleep.

The nonsense carried on the whole night, leaving Killian exhausted, and on edge, almost angry, by morning. Killian waited for the clock to display a reasonable hour before he slipped out of the bedroom, making his way to the closet. He retrieved his shoes and headed out for a walk in the cold morning air. Unfortunately for him, the long walk to and from the docks hadn’t calmed him like he hoped. Emma found him perched on a stool in their kitchen, nursing yet another glass of rum, his empty flask neglected on the surface of the counter. He watched her from behind the rim of his glass, as she looked around before looking at him with a frown and then a nervous smile.

“Wow, rum at 8?” He scoffed at her remark, glumping down what was left of the amber liquid.

“Why are you awake right now?” Killian bit back, his voice still hoarse after the cold air from his walk and the rum burning his throat, ignoring her own question.

“Ooookay…? Well, I woke up and you weren’t there and-”

“Please, Swan, spare me the whole ‘I just woke up and couldn’t find you’.” Emma froze, looking at him with confusion all over her face, making him even more angry. “I know you weren’t sleeping. You don’t sleep anymore!” he spat.

“Alright. What is this all about?” Emma’s own voice became harsh in response to his.

“You really want to know what’s going on?” Killian chuckled lowly before nervously biting his lower lip.

“Oh, yes, because clearly you’re holding back something! Otherwise, why would you attack me like this? When all I’m doing is caring for you?” Emma hated that she sounded more hurt by his behavior than she was furious with his mood swing.

“Care? That’s what you call it? Care?” He watched as she stared at him, disbelief all over her face as she shook her head, crossing her arms in front of her. Swallowing down his anger, Killian closed his eyes, his trembling hand passing over his features. “It wasn’t supposed to be like this!” he began, reminding himself in a corner of his mind to keep calm no matter how bad he felt. “This… I should, _We_ should be free, Swan! We should be free from this bloody curse so we can begin our lives together and enjoy ourselves! But no. This ain’t over and I’m cursed with bloody magic, that apparently does whatever it wants!” As he opened up to her, the coldness of her face finally began to crumble as she listened to his words drenched with pain. “I can hear the bloody _calling_ , Emma! And it keeps, it keeps whispering inside my head and there’s nothing to see, but I can _feel_ it! I can fucking _feel_ the shadows following my every move!” Killian was out of breath when he was done. But the anger and pain still roared inside his chest. “You asked for what’s going on, love? Well, this is what’s going on! I’m tired and pissed off! And I can’t bloody sleep!!”

“Killian, I,” Emma stopped, feeling guilty for his current state. She knew part of it was because of her. Instead of doing what he’d asked, trying to find a solution without magic, she had simply worked on her own to try and fix things. But in the end, it had only made them worse. But if he had simply taken the tea like she’d asked him to, his sleep wouldn’t be a problem. “I’m sorry that you feel that way. I wish I could help you more with it. I- I mean, if only you had kept taking the tea as planned…”

“Right, that damn tea!” Killian growled, balling his fist at the mention of the beverage. After everything that happened, now was the time to know if she had done something to it or not. “Tell me, Swan. Did you put something in it? Because there’s no way simple herbs could knock a man down like that!” he exclaimed. Emma swallowed before she looked down. “So I was right. You did change something. What was it ?”

Killian watched as she tried to think of an answer, anything to appease him. As the seconds passed, he felt even more furious about everything that was happening. And then the whisper slowly reached his ears, its sweet voice finally revealing what the woman in front of him had done.

_“She had already enchanted the ingredients, you foolish boy.”_

He had heard this before, when Emma had brewed the tea again right in front of him. When he couldn’t find anything suspect and yet had fallen asleep right away after taking the tea. Every word the whisper had spoken, rang true to his ears while Emma was still looking at her hands, not telling him the truth. And he couldn’t hold back his anger any longer.

“Why would you _lie_ to me?” Killian yelled, slamming his hand down on the counter, the impact creating some sort of magical shock wave.

Emma gasped, her eyes jumping toward the ceiling as the lights flickered, Killian’s glass breaking. She met his furious gaze and Emma felt her body fill with pure fear, one she would have never thought she’d experience while looking at Killian. She was _scared_ of him. Taking a step back, Emma tried to put some distance between them while she couldn’t look away from him.

It’s only when her back hit the opposite counter that Killian realized what was happening. His entire body trembled, as he felt the untamed magic coursing through him, begging for full release. What killed him the most was the realisation that he was the cause of the fear that was emanating from Emma’s body. Unable to bear causing her any kind of pain, Killian finally moved toward the nearest exit, running outside, as far from her as possible. And he would have run straight to his ship if his stupid awkwardness hadn’t stopped him before he could cross the front gate. With a frustrated groan, he tripped forward, falling flat on his face. The impact was enough to snap the strength the anger had given him. He was sure he would have cried if not for the sound of Emma’s voice.

“Killian, wait!” She shouted, fearfully. Though this time the fear in her voice wasn’t _of_ him, but _for_ him.

She ran to his side, pausing and waiting to see what his next move would be. When she realized he was pinned to the floor, his demeanor wholly different, she kneeled next to him, gently holding him by the shoulders helping him to sit.

“I, I can’t do it,” Killian breathed, his voice already quivering with emotion.

“Don’t say that, Killian. I, I should have told you from the start, I’m the one to blame.”

“You don’t understand, love.” Killian looked up from the ground, furtively gazing at her face before looking back at his hand and hook. “A woman should never be afraid of a man, much less from one who purports to love her. And I just-” Killian had to swallow down the rush of emotion. “I never wanted to make you feel that way. But I did, Emma, and you should have never felt this!” he shouted, balling his hand until it hurt. “I can’t do anything right. I, it feels like everything around me might fall apart at any moment.”

Emma wanted to answer his own fear, tell him that despite the fear she had felt, she understood why he had been angry with her. She wanted to remind him that he didn’t hurt her, that she knew he would _never_ hurt her. But as much as she wanted him to keep up hope in a better future for them and to believe in their love, she was still a bit apprehensive about how he would react if she contradicted him. She wasn’t totally sure he wouldn’t give into anger again. So she simply squeezed his shoulder in sympathy. They didn’t speak for long minutes before Killian spoke again.

“This is driving me mad, Emma. All that had happened to us, to me...” he trailed away, his eyes lost in the horizon. “I should have lost my sanity at the beginning. I, I’m not sure I can keep going like this any longer. I, I can’t control, _this_.” He brought up his hand and hook in front of him, his gaze meeting hers. “I scared the hell out of you today, Swan. Wha- what will happen next time I become angry? Or worse? What if I end up _hurting_ you?”

Any trace of the previous fire was gone from his body, leaving him with only the dreadful fear of losing her, because of something he did. It felt like he wasn’t in control of anything any more. And it was all too much for his heart and soul. He might have lived for centuries but the intensity and turmoil of the last months had been too much. He loved her with all his being but if he was a danger to her, he would have to leave her. And that was the last thing he wanted to do. But as Killian’s thoughts turned down that road, Emma surprised him by taking his hand and hook in her own before she faced him.

“What’s done is done. We both made mistakes and we will probably keep making some along the way. But all I’m asking, Killian, is for you to trust me. Everything will be alright if we focus on our love. We will find a way to cure both of us and we will get through these dark times together, as one. I shared my heart with you, Killian, and I would do it and save you all over again. I know we can do it. I know that you’re more than strong enough to survive this, Killian Jones.”

At the end of her sentence, she freed one of her hands to cup his cheek and fondly stroke it. She waited as he leaned in, letting their foreheads touch. Her eyes closed when she finally felt his heart calm and begin to beat in unison with hers. Only then did she kiss his lips before looking back in his eyes, warmth filling her as she saw serenity on his face. Slowly, soft bubbles of light started to appear around them, floating in the air. While Emma barely paid attention to them, Killian tensed at their apparition, frowning.

“Swan? What are those?” he asked, the fear creeping back instantly as he felt his throat tighten. “Did you, did you do this?”

“You know, strong emotions aren’t all bad ones, Jones,” she reassured him, the lights that had lost their brightness when Killian noticed them, were now glowing stronger when he understood what she meant.

“You mean I, I did…” Killian swallowed nervously, reaching toward one of the lights with his finger, watching as it flew away, the motion of the innocent magic making him grin. “I’m doing this?”

“I’d say you are. And it’s pretty cool,” she answered softly, coming to lay her head on his shoulder, leaning on his chest as they watched the small dance of the fairy-like lights around them, their lights getting brighter as Killian finally chuckled, still stunned by the proof that his magic could be something other than a curse.

Long moments later, the panic was completely gone from their bodies. Killian and Emma spent the rest of the day doing all the domestic activities any normal couple would do, hugging, watching silly shows on tv, cooking together, or at least trying to. Emma indeed wasn’t the best cook in town despite Killian’s best effort to teach her how to prepare something a little more complex than grilled cheese. They both focused on their love, like Emma had asked. It didn’t erase any of what had transpired during the past few days but it helped Killian immensely to leave his demons and doubts locked away while enjoying himself with her.

As though on cue, Emma received a call from Regina around eight. Merlin was back and ready to see them the next day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That’s it, we’re reaching the end of the story! Only one little chapter left and that’ll be it. I’m starting to get emo T^T


	11. Chapter X

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it! We finally reach the end of the story! It was such a pleasure for me to participate to the CSSNS event as an author this year. And I couldn't be more blessed by all those wonderful comments from you guys. So a hella big thx to all of you who took the time to read the story ♥
> 
> On that, I leave you enjoy that last chapter and see for yourself if Emma and Killian will vanquish the darkness, once and for all...

They agreed to make the trip back to Camelot in a small committee, wanting to stay there as little as possible. Regina decided to keep at least one of them in Storybrooke in case things went wrong. Mary Margaret had thus stayed home with the little prince, Emma managing to convince Henry to stay as well and help his grandma. As for David, he had left no place for arguments, insisting on joining the small group in the journey to Camelot. After a short trip to Anton’s magical bean farm, they jumped into the swirling portal, landing right in front of the imposing gate of the castle. Merlin’s apprentice was already there, welcoming them. The sorcerer once again predicted their arrival at the exact time and location, making Emma blink in disbelief.

“You’re good there, Swan?” Killian murmured in her ear as they followed their host.

“Yeah, just- still surprised by Merlin’s abilities, that’s all.” There were things that would always surprise her no matter how many times she saw them.

“Aye, the wizard’s quite something.” he chuckled back, swinging their joined hands between them, making Emma smile before she rolled her eyes at his goofiness and snuggled closer to his side. 

The walk to Merlin’s tower was short but the apprentice changed their course, leading them deeper into the forest, using a sinuous path, one that seemed familiar to Emma. She knew exactly where they were heading, the thought of the place making her shiver in anticipation. After another couple of minutes, the path widened and they found Merlin, his back facing them as he stood before the ruins of a house. Emma stopped, the memory from the first Dark One of the day she had followed Merlin and retrieved Prometheus’s spark invading her thoughts. _Nimue_. The name made her shiver once more before Killian’s tug on her arm as he walked closer to the wizard, stirred her from her thoughts. 

“Thank you Timothy, you can leave us now.” Merlin’s voice echoed in the small clearing through the trees. “It’s nice to see you’re all doing well.” Merlin spoke once the red clothed man was gone.

“Oh yes, for people who managed to survive a Dark One curse, you could say we’re doing ‘well’,” Regina huffed, still quite bothered by the lack of urgency the cloaked wizard was showing. “Good thing we didn’t actually fail,” the queen murmured once Merlin had simply smiled at her.

The man had already turned his attention to the couple standing next to the prince, his sharp eyes looking at Emma, scrutinizing her slowly before looking at Killian who tensed slightly under the intense gaze of the sorcerer. Emma stood still, not daring to search for Killian’s eyes in comfort while she waited for Merlin to finally say something. She was sure he was about to pour down judgement for her actions, scolding her for not resisting the darkness when it had mattered most. But the man said nothing, keeping his unfazed gaze on her.

“You’ve changed since last time, Emma.”

In all the scenarios she had created in her head, she hadn’t seen that one coming. She opened her mouth, wanting to answer but the words didn’t come. Thankfully Killian stood close to her, squeezing her hand lightly, giving her enough strength to face the wizard. At the action, Merlin’s eyes looked down at their joined hands, smiling softly before he turned toward the rock behind him where Excalibur lay.

“Now it’s time to destroy the Darkness, once and for all.” Merlin used his magic to make the box containing Prometheus’s fire appear before looking at Emma once again. “Are you ready, Emma?” 

She swallowed, suddenly feeling nervous. This was it, once it was done there would be no more Dark One, no more Darkness to endanger their lives and happiness. But was she really strong enough to resist the call of the Darkness and succeed? She had failed the first time and now that they had found a semblance of normality in her life and she finally found love, her _True_ Love, she was afraid to lose it.

Suddenly everyone was looking at her, waiting for her to answer the call while her instincts screamed for her to turn and go back. There was too much at stake. But Killian’s thumb caressed her knuckles lightly, drawing her panic-filled gaze to his face, welcoming her with a warm smile, one that was telling her she could do it, that he’d yet to see her fail. He nodded and Emma inhaled sharply, filling her lungs before she looked at Merlin, nodding at her turn, unwillingly letting go of Killian’s hand. She stood in front of Merlin, watching as the others came a bit closer to see her though she only had eyes for Killian who maintained eye contact with her, offering her the support she needed.

“Let’s do this then.”

“Good.” Merlin extended the box toward Emma to ignite the spark. Everyone watched as the ember flew midair between her hands, before she closed her hands around it, using her magic to concentrate the fire. “Well done, Emma. Now, reunite Excalibur so you can use it to collect the Darkness from your heart and then destroy it.”

She’d done the easy part, Killian thought as she watched his Swan focus on Merlin’s instructions. The real work was only beginning. He made sure she could see his silent encouragement, praying for her success. He saw it in her eyes, the way she had started doubting herself and he couldn’t blame her for it. What happened since the Darkness took control of her, had impacted them all. But if she succeeded, _when she succeeded,_ he corrected himself, things would go back to normal and with a bit of luck they’d have plenty of time before the next villain decided to attack Storybrooke. 

Killian adjusted his posture as Emma finally started to enact the main part of the operation. His own heartbeat quickened as he looked at her, feeling as tense as she was by the importance of the operation. David’s gentle touch on his shoulder helped him relax a little, but he could see the tension in the prince’s posture as well. After all, it was his daughter’s life that was at stake as well. As for Regina, she remained focused on Merlin and Emma’s hands, watching as Prometheus’ spark shone bright until the Dark One’s dagger and Excaibur began to wobble before it came back together, as one blade. The action left Emma panting, Merlin whispering to her to take her time before the most important part of the job: collecting all the Darkness inside the blade, then destroying the blade along with the Darkness.

The job sounded easy enough but not long after Emma began to hold the sword above her face, as it began to vibrate, Killian started to feel like a thousand tiny daggers were stabbing his chest, the numbing pain starting to make him feel light headed. His muffled moans didn’t go unnoticed, Emma’s head turning toward him, her concentration turning from Excalibur as her magic started to waver.

“Emma, you need to stay focused, it can be ris-”

“Killian, what’s going on?” she urged, not listening to Merlin’s warning, focusing solely on Killian’s worsening state.

“I- I’m alright, love.” He forced himself to smile at her but couldn’t stop wincing as the pain inside his chest remained. “J-just do it as fast as you can. Everything will be fine, Swan.”

Emma looked wary for a moment, but thankfully Merlin seemed to have drawn her back to her task and Killian was grateful she was working her magic. The pain wasn’t intense but he knew it would continue until she was fully done. As she returned to the task of pulling the darkness out of her heart, Killian felt the pain inside his chest grow until it was all he could feel and see behind his closed eyes. He tried his best not to let Emma or the others know how bad it was, knowing it would only drag out the agony. But a particularly sharp pull at the half of heart inside his chest made him stagger, before he lost his balance completely in a cry of pain.

“Damn it, Jones!!” David shouted, running to catch the falling pirate before he could hit the floor.

“KILLIAN!”

“No, Emma! You must finish this!” Merlin growled, the tone of his voice immediately drawing Emma’s attention from Killian, making it even harder for her to keep holding the shaking Excalibur in her hand, the engraved words upon the blade shining ready to absorb the darkness.

“But, Killian!”

“Emma, sweetheart, he’s fine!” David reassured her, though he felt his heart stop when he looked down at the pirate shaking on the floor, gasping as his back started to arch.

“Emma, you have to continue. The Darkness won’t stay still indefinitely.” 

Looking back at Merlin and then back to Killian’s body, Emma gulped and forced herself to continue her work, trying to push away the image of Killian’s body jerking on the ground. As she turned, she started to feel the pain inside her chest, concentrating all around her half of her heart, making it difficult to breathe. Through the veil of tears, she saw Merlin turn to look at Killian before nodding at her.

“Don’t let go, no matter what happens. If you succeed, the two of you will be fine. If not, the Darkness will be free and unstoppable. But no pressure.”

David met Regina’s gaze at Merlin’s words. _Yeah sure, no pressure at all_ , he thought and he was sure Regina was cursing too. His girl held all of their fates in her hands and all Merlin could find to tell her was that she better not fuck things up? David couldn’t see why Merlin would say this to her. How could it help her do the right thing? But his attention was drawn back to his friend who gagged, his eyes rolling into their sockets. David was about to alert Merlin and Emma when Regina stopped him, her fingers pointed at Killian’s chest. Frowning, David looked down and saw what the queen had spotted. Tendrils of Darkness were slowly coming out of his chest, whirling in the air before it started floating toward Excalibur, the very same thing happening with Emma though she seemed less affected by it. As the Darkness began to fill the sword, its blade turned black, the engraved decoration upon the blade bright white in stark relief. Once the Darkness was completely trapped within the sword, Killian fell back on the floor. David hurried to check on his mate, heaving a deep sigh when he saw that Killian was only unconscious, his heartbeat and breathing now a more normal rhythm.

“You did it, Emma!” David shouted relieved, looking at his daughter proudly. Though when he saw her look down at the unmoving form of Killian, he quickly explained. “He’s okay. He’s going to be just fine.” 

Emma allowed herself to take a deep breath, calming her own heartbeat. Her attention focused back on the glowing and vibrating sword still in her hand. She frowned at the change of colors before looking at Merlin for instructions.

“Now, it’s time to end this. Take the sword with both hands and hold it in front of you.” Emma followed his directions, her arms shaking as the Darkness began to manifest within the sword. “It’s alright, it’s because it knows,” Merlin soothed her worries. “Now, I’m going to ask you to close your eyes and visualize the sword turning back into liquid metal. Can you do that?”

“Don’t have much choice,” Emma grunted but she nodded, closing her eyes and willing her brain to picture Excalibur turning to liquid despite the colossal effort it took her. 

Her hands relaxed, the sword floating higher before it began to melt, the liquid slowly forming into a moving ball. 

_“Please! Help us!”_

Emma opened her eyes, gasping at the new form of the sword above her palms. But her surprise was directed towards the high pitched whining coming from the liquid silver. 

_“Help us! Don’t let him kill us! Please!_ ” the whisper pled once more.

“Did you hear that?” Emma asked out loud as she tilted her head looking at the moving liquid. As soon as her attention was on it, the voice she heard multiplied, the miserable pleadings echoing inside her head.

“You can’t help it.” Merlin’s voice made her snap out of the spell the calling was weaving and Emma realized she had stepped dangerously close to the liquid, her fingers almost touching it. “What you hear isn’t its pain. It’s not human, Emma. It doesn’t belong here.”

“But those voices, the pain, it’s- it feels real. It’s like-”

“Because it’s the pain of all the lives the Darkness corrupted. But Emma, don’t give in. _It_ knows it’s time has come, it’s only trying to survive. It will use any means to persuade you to save it.” 

“What should we do then?” she asked after taking a step back, the idea of what the Darkness could use against her chilling her to the bones.

“I’ll use my powers to help you.” As soon as he finished, Merlin brought his hands up, setting the ball ablaze. “And now all we have to do is burn the Darkness with the help of Prometheus’ fire.”

Using the magic of both wielders, the fire burned brighter, the white flame almost too bright for Emma to keep looking at it through her squinted eyes. It felt like an eternity before the multiple screeches of pain, that had only gotten louder, stopped all at once. Emma finally drew a deep breath in. Her heart was beating too fast inside her chest, both her arms throbbing at the intense use of magic. But the Darkness was finally quiet. The white fire was crackling and Emma could feel how the Darkness only remained contained because of her and Merlin’s magic. Sweat broke out on her face as she tried her best to keep her hands up, maintaining the flow of her magic toward the fire. Biting down on her lips, Emma groaned, her knees buckling.

“Hold on, Emma. We’re almost there. When I tell you, unleash all your magic and let go.”

She nodded at Merlin, checking one last time on her father and Killian before freeing all her magic, the power of it making the fire shrink in on itself until the light wasn’t any bigger than a bug. Then it felt like something inside of her clicked and the light completely disappeared. The burst of magic it created pushed everyone standing nearby back at least three feet, Emma’s legs finally giving up. A wave of nausea hit her, her head spinning until she felt Regina holding her up from behind. After regaining her senses, Emma used Regina to stand up, thanking the woman before her thoughts turned toward Killian and her father. Her pirate was still unconscious on the floor. Her stomach flipped as she rushed toward her love. Her hands were all over his face, her father trying to calm her as she fell on her knees and began to try to wake him. She couldn’t hear her father past the worried thoughts swirling inside her head. They were free, her own brain hadn’t registered the change yet, but she knew it was over. She _had_ succeeded! So why was Killian still down? Minutes passed and Emma panicked anew at the view of Killian who hadn’t moved a bit.

“He just needs a boost.” Merlin spoke out, slowly walking toward her and stepping next to her father who was still trapped underneath Killian’s upper body. “You simply need to use your magic and he’ll be just fine.”

Emma looked up at the wizard. _How could he be so calm?!_ But now was not the time to get angry. Right now she needed to make sure Killian would be okay, and if a magical boost was what it took, she would force herself to find the strength to use her magic one last time. She could feel how this endeavor had drained her as she focused on finding what was left of her magic. She searched deeper into her being, letting the magic flow down her arms and swirl inside her palms before she put them on Killian’s chest, following its movement as it rose and fell with each respiration.

When the warm glow emanating from her hands receded, they all looked at the pirate’s face waiting for him to open his eyes. Emma was about to rouse him by grabbing him by the shirt when his eyelids finally moved, opening oh so slowly. David let go of the breath he’d been holding, squeezing his daughter's shoulders as she looked back at him with a relieved smile.

“Hello, beautiful,” Killian croaked, his vision a bit blurry, focusing on the first blond head perched above him, a tired grin slowly appearing on his lips.

“Hey, yourself,” David answered, shaking his head when Killian blinked a few times, realizing he’d mistaken him for Emma. 

“Mate?”

“Yeah, so don’t try to kiss me.” 

Killian tried to lift his head, shaking it a little in hopes of putting his thoughts in order while blushing to the tips of his ears. He couldn’t remember David coming to him, much less letting him use his legs as a pillow. The last thing he remembered was falling to the ground as his strength disappeared into the fire the pain had created inside his heart. Then he was opening his eyes, thinking it would be his Swan who had saved him. As soon as her name crossed his thoughts, Killian inhaled sharply, his eyes searching for her.

“I’m here, you big dork!” Emma giggled, reaching for his concerned face so he would calm down. She looked at him, letting Killian drink the sight of her in until his grin was back on his lips and his hand placed itself above hers.

“I’ve no idea what that means, but I guess it isn’t exactly nice?” Killian asked, knowing full well when she was using unknown words to tease him.

“I’m sure Henry will be more than happy to explain it to you. And well, it’s more like something endearing, so worry not, Captain.” Emma laughed at him, taking another moment to gaze at each other before she continued in a soft voice. “Don’t do this again, okay, Killian?”

“Aye.”

“Good. Love you.” 

David remained silent, letting the two lovers have their reunion, remembering the amazing action his daughter had taken. She’d put an end to the Darkness and while villains would still exist, she had freed the world from probably its greatest evil. He couldn’t be prouder of her. Though David knew he would have to interrupt the two lovebirds in order to get out from under Killian who had laid back on his legs, blocking him from a discreet escape. And while he loved his daughter and was more than relieved his mate would be just fine, his fatherly instincts were telling him things were about to take a turn and he absolutely did not wish to watch them doing it right under his nose. He let pass the first kiss, turning his head, closing his eyes and started turning red when Killian kissed her back with a small groan rumbling through his chest. But when Emma kept kissing him, David cleared his throat loudly, already trying to struggle away from Killian.

“If you could please wait for me to be out from under this pirate before making out right under my face,” the prince grumbled, not daring to touch the pirate to drag himself out, his eyes throwing daggers at Regina who was watching him with way too much delight.

Killian finally sat up, wrapping an arm around Emma’s shoulder so David could run away. He could not stop the hearty laugh when he finally saw the prince’s face as he hurried to put as much space between himself and them. Emma grumbled too, squeezing out an apology before hiding her face in the crook of his neck.

“Gosh, tell me that didn’t happen, Killian.” Emma groaned, her face still hidden from her father. 

“I’m afraid we did,” Killian whispered back, “ Right under his nose.” His cheek also tinted with pink. “But it was definitely worth it, love.” Killian waggled his damn eyebrows at her and she couldn’t help rolling her eyes. 

“Yeah, you’re definitely a dork.”

“Aye, Swan, but I’m yours.” He replied with a cheeky smile, kissing her with all the love in his heart.

“Alright, must I remind you that you’re not alone?” Regina interrupted them, turning away from the sickening love scene. “We still have to find a bean for the trip back! So for God sake behave yourselves till you’re alone. Oh, and Henry’s staying with me until the two of you cool down.”

Regina kept complaining about how incorrigible they were, among other things, as she started walking back to the castle to speak with Merlin about the modalities of return travel. David promptly followed the queen, leaving the two lovebirds to stare at the forest path while still being wrapped in each other’s arms.

“Well,” Killian chuckled, looking down at Emma who was still staring at the back of her father as he disappeared into the forest, “I guess that’s our cue.”

“Cue? What are you sa-!” Emma was cut off as a small yelp escaped her mouth as Killian dragged her down with him, trapping her in his arms as he lay on his back, tilting his head so he could kiss her neck. “Killian what are you doing?” She giggled, wondering what exactly he was planning.

“Holding you in my arms, love.” Though the low tone of his voice belied his innocent words. 

“Uhu?” Emma wriggled in his grip as his scruff started trickling her. “You’re sure my spell didn’t make you drunk Jones?” she teased, not knowing how else to describe his attitude.

“As much as you’re bloody intoxicating Swan, I can assure you, I’m most definitely sober.”

“Then what is it? You just sound like…” Emma asked once she turned herself so she was facing him, straddling him, taking hold of his hand and hook between her fingers.

“Relaxed. Happy,” Killian said, smiling at her. “I don’t know how to explain it but I just,” he freed his hand, playing with her golden hair for a moment while she looked at him with adoration. “I’ve never felt this happy and relaxed before, Swan.”

The way he was looking at her, Emma immediately understood what he meant. After all, now that she thought about it, she realized she felt that way too. That extreme contentment, just being by his side. Her thoughts were serene and it was just the two of them, lost in the middle of Camelot’s forest. They’d waited days, weeks, _months_ for a quiet moment like this and it was finally here. So she let go of all the worries about returning home with the others and decided to enjoy the moment present with Killian, now that they were truly free from the Darkness. 

She lowered herself back to him, their bodies rolling on the floor as they held each other tightly, their carefree laugh echoing around them. Until Killian found himself above her, using his hooked arm to stop their movement, his burning gaze locked on her face, his blue eyes slowly drifting to her pink lips, before he gently kissed her. Their lips moved slowly as both their hands found their way to the other's hair, angling for deeper access. The kiss became more passionate, their tongues tangling, and all too soon Killian’s moans echoed between the trees. Both were panting when they broke apart, cheeks and lips flushed. Emma’s eyelids fluttered open, meeting Killian’s gaze from through his long eyelashes.

“Killian, we should-” Emma breathed, her hips rocking against Killian’s involuntarily, making them both gasp.

“ _Fuck,_ Emma,” he grunted, his own hips moving against hers. “Bloody hell, I could take you right here, right now, love.” His voice quivered with need, but as his head came down towards hers again, Emma’s hand came to rest on his chest, stopping him.

“I, I wouldn’t say no, but,” blinking, Emma forced herself to push down her arousal, biting her lips when Killian finally slid next to her with a deep groan, “Like Regina said, let’s keep that for tonight. Plus, the bed is way comfier.” 

Cursing under his breath, Killian tried to calm down too, willing his growing erection away before David or Regina caught them. _Right, bed will be better_ , he reminded himself, repeating it until his body was convinced and felt ready to stand up. Holding his hand out for Emma, he helped her stand, his eyes never leaving her until she turned and started walking back to the castle. 

“Love, wait!” Killian quickly reached for her hand again, stopping her from walking away before tugging her until she was back into his arms.

“What?”

“Nothing,” he said simply with a grin but he left her no time to react as he stole one last deep kiss before releasing her lips.

“Killian,” she moaned, her forehead resting against his as her fingers were still wrapped around the lapel of his jacket. “If we keep this up, they’re going to come back for us and...”

“You’re right, Swan. But we’re going to catch them!” 

Without a warning, Killian wrapped his arm around her before he swiftly lifted her from the ground, carrying her in his arms, bridal style.

“Killian! Stop this! Put me down!” Emma yelled, her hands slapping his chest, though she couldn’t stop herself from laughing as she felt Killian’s own laugh rumble through his chest as he denied her request, keeping her secured in his arms. “I still know how to walk Jones, you know that right?” Emma groaned, but let herself be carried down the path.

“Aye, love, that I know.” He chuckled, drooping a kiss on her cheek. “But with all the hard work you did back there, carrying you back to the end of the forest path is the least I can do.”

“Sure, buddy. But you better get ready to face daddy Charming’s wrath if he saw you kidnaping his little princess like that.”

“So now you are your father’s princess, Swan?” Killian paused, lifting an eyebrow at her remark. Her shrug only made him laugh before she stopped him with a kiss. Moving again, Killian looked ahead with a grin, “Don’t worry about me, love. I know how to handle him.”


End file.
